Death Three: OUT FOR A WALK

[likescats]

 [There is an old man walking around Mayfield. You may notice he doesn't seem to ....fit in. Even if he looks human

Comments

[strike_you_out]

[Slugger notices Death wandering to and from several houses that aren't Susan's and surmises one of two things: Death is either lost or he's trying to sell flowers. Either way, Susan would probably be pissed at him if he lets this continue without interference.

After a moment he catches up to the "old man".]

Mister ...Door? [he was much more comfortable calling you by your real name]

What are you doing?

[strike_you_out]

[And he'll take that to mean Susan was the cause of his apparent failure. What catches his interest the most, however, is that certain phrase...]

An end to human belief?

[humandeath]

YES. THE AUDITORS DON'T LIKE HUMANS. THEY DON'T THINK THEY'RE TOO MESSY FOR THEIR TASTES

[strike_you_out]

Why did the Auditors want to banish human belief?

[As a product of human belief, Slugger is intrigued. And just as a curious "great-grandson" should be.]

[humandeath]

BECAUSE THEY THINK IT IS REPULSIVE. THEY HATE IT BECAUSE IT IS NOT SOMETHING THAT CAN BE NEATLY CATEGORIZED. TO THEM HUMANS ARE A PROBLEM THAT NEED TO BE FIXED.

[Death, does not approve of this at all.]

[strike_you_out]

[Slugger disapproves, too. Screw organization.]

What was in it for Mr. Teatime?

[Because of his accent, the closest he comes to pronouncing Teatime's name correctly is Teh-ya-tah-meh.]

[humandeath]

THE AUDITORS HIRED THE ASSASSIN'S GUILD TO "INHUME" THE HOGFATHER. THEY ASSIGNED HIM THE JOB.

[strike_you_out]

What are assassins offered in return?

[humandeath]

USUALLY GOLD. AND I BELIEVE MR. TEH-AH-TIME-AH WOULD BECOME A FULL FLEDGED ASSASSIN IF HE COMPLETED THE JOB.

[strike_you_out]

That makes sense. [A LOT of sense. He'll be sure not to mention any of it to Susan.] Thanks.

[Slugger turns onto the driveway leading up to the house he shares with his "mother". It looks like any other house except there are still some colorful remains of the sprawling chalk mess he made on the driveway from the day he was droned.]

We're here.

[humandeath]

[And he nods]

THANK YOU. HOPEFULLY I'LL BE ABLE TO FIND MY WAY AROUND THIS PLACE BETTER SOON.

[You never know how much you rely on knowing where everything is until it's gone.]