4th footnote [text] how to dismiss your djinni 101
Unleashing a horde of hawks upon the Keep gains you marks for creativity, but you are missing the mark by a substantial degree if you think that raptors alone could rid you of my enchanting presence. 1Obviously you lack the intellectual fortitude to assess the means by which to free me and gain some peace. As a being of magnanimity, I will offer
( Read more... )
You're going to tell me that incantation. Right now.
[What proceeds is a scrawled message in an archaic language. It's obviously Tammy's handwriting, but. Kind of messy. As if her hands are shaking as she writes.]
I told her insulting you wasn't the best way to get your help, but since I think you're full of camel dung anyway, she's not really keen on listening to me. Even less so than usual. And I have no idea what incantation you're referring to. That's not a gap in my knowledge; that's me telling you no such thing exists that would do what you say it will.
At least not to me.
Reply
As for the incantation? I'd love to, but you're lacking a few things. A magician would need only the words, but as a human with a depraved brain buddy, extra steps would be required to make it work.
[There's a switch to Sumerian in his writing that flows without thinking and he picks up where Anty left off.]
Not to you, but we have already established that you're a few drops of essence short of a full bottle. Seeing as you're fond of this possession, I do not see why you would care to learn such a thing, or even think of it as a gap in your learning. Ignorance is quite capable of masking itself in that way.
1 - It always stirs up such a pleasant feeling to know that a human has gone out of their way to scrounge up a little more than the 'demon' standard. Nothing like a bit of reassurance that your hard work is not going without ( ... )
Reply
[Her handwriting is a bit better; maybe she's accepted that there's going to be communication of this variety.]
I have no interest in learning it. It seems my affinity for her free will-- [SUDDEN ENGLISH.] you mean your UTTER LAZINESS [and switch back!]--means that I have to put up with her pointless attempts at getting rid of me.
Whatever rubs her lamp, I guess.
Reply
You also forgot the magic word in making your demand.
2 - Accuracy is important in these things. There's no point in an insult that has no personal meaning. It's like commenting on a vampire's tan.
3 - The watered-down thing that you have puttering around in your head lacks the true irritation potential of a djinni in full possession of its essence, sanity, and skills. Aren't you lucky that you have me to provide you with the authentic services of a true-to-life djinni.
Reply
And trust me, it's plenty irritating.
Reply
By that liberal dose of sarcasm and utter lack of answer, I see you truly are just a commoner with an unsightly, rather depraved spirit. That raises the question of whether something as base as you has the hope of achieving a dismissal, even with the necessary tools. Are you quite certain you want to embark on such a task?
Reply
If you're trying to talk me out of it because you're as full of camel dung as it has said, then just djinn up and say so. It wouldn't be a huge shock to find that you're full of it. I'll go ahead and tell you that I fully expect you to be full of it until proven otherwise.
Reply
Are you that reluctant to embark on the ordeal of dismissal? You are as fond of it as it is of you, I see. Then ignore my means of earning eternal peace! Live happily, or however two depraved lovers do.
4 - This is the number three excuse that magicians quote when confronted about being lax in their dismissal promises. The number one being the insistence that I'm still needed, and the second being that they don't want someone else to summon me. This is a critical concern to them, as they're always concerned that I'll divulge all their secrets to the rival summoner. (I would, of course, but that's beside the point.
Reply
I don't love it. I wouldn't stretch the definition of such a pointless emotion that far.
Look, just tell me how to get rid of the damned thing. Do I need to fetch a bottle? Rub a few thousand lamps? Prove I'm kindhearted or something other Mickey Mouse bullshit?
Reply
Non-magicians that seek to dismiss a djinni require five key objects:
1 - 19 1/2 hawk feathers dyed orange
2 - 3 litres of prune juice 5
3 - 1 eye mask with green glitter
4 - 2 sheets of vellum
5 - 1 blood-ink pen 6
Think you can scrounge all that up?
5 - The juice must have been squeezed out between feet clad in three-day-worn socks. This detail is very critical, otherwise the whole process gets bunged up.
6 - You can use a red ball-point pen for this, but the effect is somewhat less. Guaranteed to work for a foliot, but a spirit of quality might not be able to squeeze past it. In your case, the spirit is quite daft, therefore a pen will work fine.
Reply
Reply
7 - Made you look. Ahem. As I was saying, I am the most serious djinni you will ever encounter.
Reply
Reply
8 - This is not so with all spirits, but I happen to be a master of detail. No form is worth doing unless it is done to artistic perfection.
Reply
9 - This is my "I believe you" face. You can't see it, but you'll have to take my word on it.
Reply
Leave a comment