'Carousel'. Ry/Col Fic. Part Three.
Cross-posted to WillaLove.
Title: Carousel
Rating: 17+
Paring: Ry/Col. (Hints of Greg/Jeff and slightly mentions of Greg/Ryan but neither main focus.)
A/N: Third Chapter, you know the drill by now- I love feedback so very much, whatever you want to say, and of course I love Lucy (heh.) so very much too because she is awesome and beta's for me!
Present Time- 2007
The knocking on the door surprised me, but I didn't hesitate to reply.
"What is it Brad?" I called as I made my way over to the connecting door that led to Brad's room. It'd been over almost two hours since I left the bar and I couldn't think what Brad would want.
"I have something that's yours. Got given to me by mistake."
Brad called back, his words slightly slurred from what had to have been alcohol. My mind ran through things I could've left at the bar, but I came up empty.
Pulling the door open, I saw Brad, looking rather worse for wear, with Ryan, looking even rougher, hanging off him, arms round his chest, licking his neck.
I raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. I was tempted to close the door, curse my mind for imagining strange things and curl up in my comfortable bed.
Instead, I just stared at them both.
"Hey Ryan, look. Colin!"
Brad said, pushing Ryan off him, and I suddenly had to steady myself as I was pounced upon and pulled into a fierce hug. Ryan slid his arms around my chest, pressing himself into my back and leaning his head on my shoulder, holding me tight. He was heavy against me and wobbling and I had to steady myself, gripping the door, otherwise we'd both fall to the ground.
My body was going wild with the feel of him suddenly against me, this hug a real one, rather than the awkward one we'd shared earlier that night, and it was too intimate to be purely friendly.
"Colin" Ryan managed to mumble out, his voice barely understandable. "Missed you." He murmured against my neck, his warm breath tickling my skin, and I swallowed hard.
"I don't think I ordered this." I told Brad, very aware of his presence as he watched us.
I scrunched up my shoulders and tried to shrug Ryan off me but he wasn’t letting go, and he was so drunk that he could barely stand on his own anyway.
"Ry, want to get off me. Go sit down, maybe?" I tried to gently shove him in the direction of the bed but he just gripped me tighter.
Ryan shook his head, his forehead gently hitting mine as he did and I was extremely aware of how close he was.
"Want you." His voice was low and gravely in my ear. I let him hold on to me, suddenly unsure if I could even keep myself up.
I managed to ignore him as best I could; using the same thinking technique I would use to stop myself laughing on stage.
Brad was leaning against the door frame, also struggling to keep upright, and I turned my attention back to him.
"How much did you drink? You were all pretty sober when I left."
He shrugged tiredly, barely lifting his shoulders. "A lot. Ryan drank the most though."
Which was obvious, I thought, biting back a moan as said person kissed and sucked at my neck. I forced myself to concentrate and ignore the feel of him against me. He was almost grinding into me and my body was screaming, telling me to shut the door on Brad and give in to what Ryan clearly wanted. I pushed the thoughts away again.
"About that. Why is he here and not in his own room?" I asked, hoping my voice was neutral, even though I knew that it wasn't.
Brad shrugged again.
"He came to my room looking for you. He was supposed to head back with Greg, but then last time I saw him he had his hands all over Jeff and was pulling him towards his room so I don't think they want Ryan there."
I sighed, and then quickly grabbed Ryan's hand that was tugging at my belt buckle, trying to slip inside. I kept hold of it, gripping it against my side to stop him going any further.
"So why can't he stay in Jeff's room?" I knew he had a separate room, and since Chip had gone home sick, it would now be empty.
"He wanted you. And he can't be alone like this. I'm not looking after him, I haven't seen Ryan naked and I don't want to. He's your boyfriend." Brad muttered. "Can I go to sleep now?"
His voice was childlike and sleepy and it wouldn't look out of place if he threw a tantrum, stamping his foot. The mental picture of Brad as a toddler gave me something other than the hard body rubbing up against me to focus on for a brief moment, for which I was grateful.
"He's not my boyfriend." I felt the need to clarify, even though Brad didn't need it. He already knew enough about everything to know the truth.
"Lover, Ex, Whatever. He's yours. Have fun."
Brad went to pull the doors shut, popping his head around to add "Oh, and that's going to leave a mark."
He winked over-theatrically, even for him, and stumbled back into the room, the door clicking shut behind him.
It took me a second to realise what he meant, lost in the wonder of whether Brad would even make it to his bed.
I'd been desperately ignoring Ryan on my neck and I hadn't even considered what he was doing.
"Shit. Get off, Ry."
I pushed him away, dragging him and dumping him down on the bed. Walking over to the mirror, I saw the red mark he'd left on my neck, complete with teeth marks. A hickey.
"Fuck, Ryan, what are you sixteen?" I muttered, glaring at him and groaning, rubbing the mark as if it’d disappear. It wouldn’t. Just what I needed.
Ryan hadn't stayed on the bed. Instead he'd chased after me and fell on me again, arms around my waist and head on my shoulder. I had to lean against the dresser to stop myself from falling over. Before I turned back around, I caught a glimpse of us both in the mirror. Ryan's chin was on my shoulder, his head leaning on mine and his eyes were drifting shut, a sleepy expression on his face. It made an interesting picture and I had to force myself to look away from us together.
I manoeuvred us both over to the bed, realising how heavy Ryan actually was, despite how skinny he always looked. I pushed him off me and sat him on the end of the bed. By some miracle, he managed to stay sat up.
"Just stay there for a minute ok?"
I told him, hoping to god he would listen. I needed a second without him touching me. I grabbed a plastic cup, ignoring the glasses, and poured him some water. He was going to have one hell of a hangover.
"Drink this." I told him, getting him to hold it in both hands. Then I breathed in deep and leant down, undoing his laces.
"I don't want it." Ryan said, staring at the water in his hand, his eyes glazing as he tried to focus on it. "I want you." He muttered.
"Just drink it." I replied, my voice completely calm. I'd managed to slip into business mode, thankfully. Now as long as I could stay there until he went to sleep, all would be fine. I hoped.
Ryan sighed but did as I asked, spilling half of it on his chin. I filled it again and instructed him to drink more, treating him like a child rather than the fully-grown man who should know better. I managed to get off his shoes, socks and shirts. I hesitated at his belt buckle but eventually undid it, pulling off his jeans as well, leaving him in boxer shorts. I did it all mechanically, trying not to think or feel anything, ignoring the way he was touching and pulling me, begging me to respond.
"Can I tell you a secret?" Ryan whispered to me as I handed him yet another drink of water.
Knowing it could do no harm; it wasn't as if he was making much sense anyway, I said "Sure," sitting down next to him on the bed and letting him lean on me sideways. One of his hands slipped around me and the other rested on my thigh, rubbing and tickling me, and it felt like fire even through my jeans.
"I missed you so much. And I really want you right now."
Ryan stared at me, doing his best to focus. I felt my stomach sink at his words and I ignored the arousal that flowed through me. Ryan didn't mean it, not really, he was just drunk. But that didn't stop me wanting to take him up on his offer, push him down on the bed and.... I shook my head of the intrusive thoughts.
"Ok Ryan." Was all I said, pausing for a moment.
"It's true. But shhhh. It's a secret." He said over dramatically as I pushed him back so he was lying down, pulling his legs around and sliding the blanket over him.
"I won't tell." I said, just to placate him, because really who would I tell?
I moved away, flipping the light off and hoping that Ryan would simply fall asleep.
"You're going to stay with me right? I want you." Ryan called, making a move to get up out of the bed, wobbling and falling back down.
I sighed.
"I've just got to change. I'll be back."
With any luck, I thought, as I entered the bathroom, Ryan would be asleep when I got back.
-
When I re-entered, Ryan did appear to be asleep. He was however, no longer in the shorts I had left him in. They were lying on the end of the bed.
I looked around my hotel room, eyeing the chair in the corner. It didn't look comfortable enough to sleep in, but I wasn't sure I could bear to get into bed with Ryan, especially with him nude. He would likely sleep the night and day away, with all the alcohol in his system, and before, I would never have cared that much about sharing a bed with him. But now...
Part of me was desperate to curl up with him, maybe wake him up and get him to finish what he wanted to do earlier. My neck was still tingling and I was still hard beneath my sweat pants, my body unable to forget the feel of him again, despite the cool shower.
My brain told me it wasn't a good idea, but there weren't many other options, so I slipped into the bed beside him. I made sure to stay on the opposite side, however, not close enough to touch, and I closed my eyes, willing my body to relax and just sleep.
I got about two seconds of peace until Ryan made it clear that he definitely wasn't asleep. He pressed up against me, chest to chest and kissed me firmly on the mouth.
I couldn't stop myself from kissing him back, and it was hard and wet and he tasted of alcohol and cigarette smoke but he was still Ryan and I couldn't stop myself moaning into his mouth. I gave in to him for just a moment, rubbing against him and running my hands through his hair, holding his head close. He grinded into me, erection pressing against my thigh and his fingers gripping my waist and I wanted nothing more than to pull him closer and give him what he clearly wanted.
Then, using all the willpower I possessed, and surprising even myself, I pulled away, pushing him back.
"This isn't a good idea, Ry." I breathed out, my voice filled with emotion as I panted.
"Why?" He practically whined, trying to kiss me again. "I've missed you Col. I may pretend I don't but I want you so much. I need you."
His words were still slurred, a constant reminder of how drunk he was and I knew that if it wasn't for the alcohol, we wouldn't be having this conversation. We probably wouldn't be talking at all.
"I promised myself I wouldn't do this again. And you wouldn't either if you weren't so very drunk. Please just go to sleep."
It was taking all my strength to hold him away and I could feel my hands loosening as I longed to give in and ignore my common sense.
"If you don't, I'm going to leave and sleep in the other room." I told him, more for my sake than his, as I knew I couldn't keep this control much longer.
Ryan continued to argue, until I made a move to get up out of the bed.
"No don't go. I'll be good." He said quickly, rolling his eyes like a child. The threat seemed to work though, and he stopped moving towards me.
We both panted, catching our breath and I thought of everything non-sexual I could think of to try to calm my body down. After a long moment of us breathing heavily and not touching each other, I felt my body calming slightly and I noticed Ryan's breathing start to slow as he was drifting to sleep. He was still hard, and so was I, but I couldn’t… wouldn’t let myself come, even by my own hand, because I knew his name would be on my lips when I did.
"But can't..." He muttered, putting his hand on my arm, his eyes already closing.
"What Ry?"
"Hugging isn't bad right?"
Ryan said, gently pulling me close again. I had no more willpower left and I couldn't bear to argue with him, didn't want to argue with him, so I let him pull me close, our legs tangling together and our noses almost touching, his arms around me.
"Go to sleep, Ry." I whispered, letting myself enjoy the feel of him, knowing that in the morning, things would be awkward again. Right now though, it felt right curled up with him.
"Night, Col.” He muttered as he drifted off. It took a lot longer before I finally fell asleep.
-
Title: Carousel
Rating: 17+
Paring: Ry/Col. (Hints of Greg/Jeff and slightly mentions of Greg/Ryan but neither main focus.)
A/N: Third Chapter, you know the drill by now- I love feedback so very much, whatever you want to say, and of course I love Lucy (heh.) so very much too because she is awesome and beta's for me!
Present Time- 2007
The knocking on the door surprised me, but I didn't hesitate to reply.
"What is it Brad?" I called as I made my way over to the connecting door that led to Brad's room. It'd been over almost two hours since I left the bar and I couldn't think what Brad would want.
"I have something that's yours. Got given to me by mistake."
Brad called back, his words slightly slurred from what had to have been alcohol. My mind ran through things I could've left at the bar, but I came up empty.
Pulling the door open, I saw Brad, looking rather worse for wear, with Ryan, looking even rougher, hanging off him, arms round his chest, licking his neck.
I raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. I was tempted to close the door, curse my mind for imagining strange things and curl up in my comfortable bed.
Instead, I just stared at them both.
"Hey Ryan, look. Colin!"
Brad said, pushing Ryan off him, and I suddenly had to steady myself as I was pounced upon and pulled into a fierce hug. Ryan slid his arms around my chest, pressing himself into my back and leaning his head on my shoulder, holding me tight. He was heavy against me and wobbling and I had to steady myself, gripping the door, otherwise we'd both fall to the ground.
My body was going wild with the feel of him suddenly against me, this hug a real one, rather than the awkward one we'd shared earlier that night, and it was too intimate to be purely friendly.
"Colin" Ryan managed to mumble out, his voice barely understandable. "Missed you." He murmured against my neck, his warm breath tickling my skin, and I swallowed hard.
"I don't think I ordered this." I told Brad, very aware of his presence as he watched us.
I scrunched up my shoulders and tried to shrug Ryan off me but he wasn’t letting go, and he was so drunk that he could barely stand on his own anyway.
"Ry, want to get off me. Go sit down, maybe?" I tried to gently shove him in the direction of the bed but he just gripped me tighter.
Ryan shook his head, his forehead gently hitting mine as he did and I was extremely aware of how close he was.
"Want you." His voice was low and gravely in my ear. I let him hold on to me, suddenly unsure if I could even keep myself up.
I managed to ignore him as best I could; using the same thinking technique I would use to stop myself laughing on stage.
Brad was leaning against the door frame, also struggling to keep upright, and I turned my attention back to him.
"How much did you drink? You were all pretty sober when I left."
He shrugged tiredly, barely lifting his shoulders. "A lot. Ryan drank the most though."
Which was obvious, I thought, biting back a moan as said person kissed and sucked at my neck. I forced myself to concentrate and ignore the feel of him against me. He was almost grinding into me and my body was screaming, telling me to shut the door on Brad and give in to what Ryan clearly wanted. I pushed the thoughts away again.
"About that. Why is he here and not in his own room?" I asked, hoping my voice was neutral, even though I knew that it wasn't.
Brad shrugged again.
"He came to my room looking for you. He was supposed to head back with Greg, but then last time I saw him he had his hands all over Jeff and was pulling him towards his room so I don't think they want Ryan there."
I sighed, and then quickly grabbed Ryan's hand that was tugging at my belt buckle, trying to slip inside. I kept hold of it, gripping it against my side to stop him going any further.
"So why can't he stay in Jeff's room?" I knew he had a separate room, and since Chip had gone home sick, it would now be empty.
"He wanted you. And he can't be alone like this. I'm not looking after him, I haven't seen Ryan naked and I don't want to. He's your boyfriend." Brad muttered. "Can I go to sleep now?"
His voice was childlike and sleepy and it wouldn't look out of place if he threw a tantrum, stamping his foot. The mental picture of Brad as a toddler gave me something other than the hard body rubbing up against me to focus on for a brief moment, for which I was grateful.
"He's not my boyfriend." I felt the need to clarify, even though Brad didn't need it. He already knew enough about everything to know the truth.
"Lover, Ex, Whatever. He's yours. Have fun."
Brad went to pull the doors shut, popping his head around to add "Oh, and that's going to leave a mark."
He winked over-theatrically, even for him, and stumbled back into the room, the door clicking shut behind him.
It took me a second to realise what he meant, lost in the wonder of whether Brad would even make it to his bed.
I'd been desperately ignoring Ryan on my neck and I hadn't even considered what he was doing.
"Shit. Get off, Ry."
I pushed him away, dragging him and dumping him down on the bed. Walking over to the mirror, I saw the red mark he'd left on my neck, complete with teeth marks. A hickey.
"Fuck, Ryan, what are you sixteen?" I muttered, glaring at him and groaning, rubbing the mark as if it’d disappear. It wouldn’t. Just what I needed.
Ryan hadn't stayed on the bed. Instead he'd chased after me and fell on me again, arms around my waist and head on my shoulder. I had to lean against the dresser to stop myself from falling over. Before I turned back around, I caught a glimpse of us both in the mirror. Ryan's chin was on my shoulder, his head leaning on mine and his eyes were drifting shut, a sleepy expression on his face. It made an interesting picture and I had to force myself to look away from us together.
I manoeuvred us both over to the bed, realising how heavy Ryan actually was, despite how skinny he always looked. I pushed him off me and sat him on the end of the bed. By some miracle, he managed to stay sat up.
"Just stay there for a minute ok?"
I told him, hoping to god he would listen. I needed a second without him touching me. I grabbed a plastic cup, ignoring the glasses, and poured him some water. He was going to have one hell of a hangover.
"Drink this." I told him, getting him to hold it in both hands. Then I breathed in deep and leant down, undoing his laces.
"I don't want it." Ryan said, staring at the water in his hand, his eyes glazing as he tried to focus on it. "I want you." He muttered.
"Just drink it." I replied, my voice completely calm. I'd managed to slip into business mode, thankfully. Now as long as I could stay there until he went to sleep, all would be fine. I hoped.
Ryan sighed but did as I asked, spilling half of it on his chin. I filled it again and instructed him to drink more, treating him like a child rather than the fully-grown man who should know better. I managed to get off his shoes, socks and shirts. I hesitated at his belt buckle but eventually undid it, pulling off his jeans as well, leaving him in boxer shorts. I did it all mechanically, trying not to think or feel anything, ignoring the way he was touching and pulling me, begging me to respond.
"Can I tell you a secret?" Ryan whispered to me as I handed him yet another drink of water.
Knowing it could do no harm; it wasn't as if he was making much sense anyway, I said "Sure," sitting down next to him on the bed and letting him lean on me sideways. One of his hands slipped around me and the other rested on my thigh, rubbing and tickling me, and it felt like fire even through my jeans.
"I missed you so much. And I really want you right now."
Ryan stared at me, doing his best to focus. I felt my stomach sink at his words and I ignored the arousal that flowed through me. Ryan didn't mean it, not really, he was just drunk. But that didn't stop me wanting to take him up on his offer, push him down on the bed and.... I shook my head of the intrusive thoughts.
"Ok Ryan." Was all I said, pausing for a moment.
"It's true. But shhhh. It's a secret." He said over dramatically as I pushed him back so he was lying down, pulling his legs around and sliding the blanket over him.
"I won't tell." I said, just to placate him, because really who would I tell?
I moved away, flipping the light off and hoping that Ryan would simply fall asleep.
"You're going to stay with me right? I want you." Ryan called, making a move to get up out of the bed, wobbling and falling back down.
I sighed.
"I've just got to change. I'll be back."
With any luck, I thought, as I entered the bathroom, Ryan would be asleep when I got back.
-
When I re-entered, Ryan did appear to be asleep. He was however, no longer in the shorts I had left him in. They were lying on the end of the bed.
I looked around my hotel room, eyeing the chair in the corner. It didn't look comfortable enough to sleep in, but I wasn't sure I could bear to get into bed with Ryan, especially with him nude. He would likely sleep the night and day away, with all the alcohol in his system, and before, I would never have cared that much about sharing a bed with him. But now...
Part of me was desperate to curl up with him, maybe wake him up and get him to finish what he wanted to do earlier. My neck was still tingling and I was still hard beneath my sweat pants, my body unable to forget the feel of him again, despite the cool shower.
My brain told me it wasn't a good idea, but there weren't many other options, so I slipped into the bed beside him. I made sure to stay on the opposite side, however, not close enough to touch, and I closed my eyes, willing my body to relax and just sleep.
I got about two seconds of peace until Ryan made it clear that he definitely wasn't asleep. He pressed up against me, chest to chest and kissed me firmly on the mouth.
I couldn't stop myself from kissing him back, and it was hard and wet and he tasted of alcohol and cigarette smoke but he was still Ryan and I couldn't stop myself moaning into his mouth. I gave in to him for just a moment, rubbing against him and running my hands through his hair, holding his head close. He grinded into me, erection pressing against my thigh and his fingers gripping my waist and I wanted nothing more than to pull him closer and give him what he clearly wanted.
Then, using all the willpower I possessed, and surprising even myself, I pulled away, pushing him back.
"This isn't a good idea, Ry." I breathed out, my voice filled with emotion as I panted.
"Why?" He practically whined, trying to kiss me again. "I've missed you Col. I may pretend I don't but I want you so much. I need you."
His words were still slurred, a constant reminder of how drunk he was and I knew that if it wasn't for the alcohol, we wouldn't be having this conversation. We probably wouldn't be talking at all.
"I promised myself I wouldn't do this again. And you wouldn't either if you weren't so very drunk. Please just go to sleep."
It was taking all my strength to hold him away and I could feel my hands loosening as I longed to give in and ignore my common sense.
"If you don't, I'm going to leave and sleep in the other room." I told him, more for my sake than his, as I knew I couldn't keep this control much longer.
Ryan continued to argue, until I made a move to get up out of the bed.
"No don't go. I'll be good." He said quickly, rolling his eyes like a child. The threat seemed to work though, and he stopped moving towards me.
We both panted, catching our breath and I thought of everything non-sexual I could think of to try to calm my body down. After a long moment of us breathing heavily and not touching each other, I felt my body calming slightly and I noticed Ryan's breathing start to slow as he was drifting to sleep. He was still hard, and so was I, but I couldn’t… wouldn’t let myself come, even by my own hand, because I knew his name would be on my lips when I did.
"But can't..." He muttered, putting his hand on my arm, his eyes already closing.
"What Ry?"
"Hugging isn't bad right?"
Ryan said, gently pulling me close again. I had no more willpower left and I couldn't bear to argue with him, didn't want to argue with him, so I let him pull me close, our legs tangling together and our noses almost touching, his arms around me.
"Go to sleep, Ry." I whispered, letting myself enjoy the feel of him, knowing that in the morning, things would be awkward again. Right now though, it felt right curled up with him.
"Night, Col.” He muttered as he drifted off. It took a lot longer before I finally fell asleep.
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