Comments | lil_amysunshine: And that made it awkward

lil_amysunshine

And that made it awkward

Nov 06, 2005 14:18

I just broke up with Steve, which was awkward since we weren't actually dating. I told him that I didn't want to be friends anymore because all I could see in the future in relation to him was being disregarded and having to constantly hear about the latest stupid and entirely unworthy girl that he's in love with and then hear about how she's ( Read more... )

Comments 13

jillrlev November 7 2005, 15:34:33 UTC

i also am very awed and inspired and support you totally for deciding what you needed and following thru w/ it, even though it was not the easiest path to take by far, and to be so honest about your experience to yourself, to him and to us- man that is so freakin' cool. you said that you were going to try to grow emotionally, and look at you, really following thru on it- we can all take something from that. i'm sorry you have to hurt so bad right now for a guy who can't even see what he is missing. and mourning is a very important part of emotional growth. it wasn't until i truly mourned the lose of a relationship (joe) that i was finally able to have a turly successful and whole relationship (brett, obviously), not to mention having a more whole relationship with myself. remember- sometimes you need to just feel, not judge.
xoxo

lil_amysunshine November 7 2005, 19:34:53 UTC

I think he can see what he's missing. And I'm sure it seems logically like he should want me. But he just doesn't. I don't hold him ill-will for that. It would be much worse in my mind if he knew all along that he just didn't want me, but took advantage of the fact that an awesome girl who he likes is willing to have wild monkey sex with him. As per usual, I totally respect and admire him for his response. Bastard. I got really good at getting over guys who would have sex with me but didn't want to date me. I've got no experience at getting over one who won't have sex with me specifically BECAUSE he doesn't want to date me.

i know how you feel... swimchick13 November 7 2005, 18:59:01 UTC

I had the experience of "breaking up with someone I wasn't even going out with" a few years ago. It was probably one of the most painful, scary, heart-wrenching, emotionally draining things I had done at the time. I finally got to a point where I couldn't deal with not being the one that he was actually dating, even though at times, I felt like I was treated like a stand-in pseudo girl friend, which is no way to live. I don't doubt that this guy cared a lot about me...we are still friends to this day. But, I finally got tired of it, and had a talk that went startlingly like yours. I probably cried for a week straight, if not longer. I don't think I've ever had any sort of relationship break-up that ever made me feel worse. Luckily, this guy was pretty decent about it all, and respected what I had to tell him and let me make the decision as to how much I wanted to interact with him in the future. I had to think about it for a long time. He is a great guy, and I didn't want to toss all of that away, but I also needed some space ( ... )

Re: i know how you feel... lil_amysunshine November 7 2005, 19:19:33 UTC

Actually, this is great because it doesn't make out like either of us is a bad guy, which I really appreciate because I don't think he is a bad guy. And I don't feel like I've been mistreated hugely or unappreciated or unacknowledged or anything like that. Plus, it makes me feel like I'm not a loser for crying so much.

I appreciate it.

Re: i know how you feel... swimchick13 November 7 2005, 21:47:48 UTC

Oh God...I was the QUEEN of crying on this one. I think I literally cried for a full 24 hours. I went into work the next day, and my WHOLE face was ridiculously swollen up, and I refused to take my sunglasses off in front of anyone. One of the ladies I worked for at the time told me to go home and watch Bridget Jones and eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's and go to sleep. I wasn't inclined to disagree with her...I went and found my boss who was a guy, dragged him into a conference room, took off my sunglasses so he could see my puffed up face and told him that I had had a bad night and was going home. I think he was so terrified of saying something that would upset me more, that he didn't ask any questions and said, "no problem!" I cried the whole drive home from Englewood to Westminster. It's a miracle I didn't have a car accident. But I don't think I would have started to feel better if I didn't just let myself experience all of that pain...and it hurt like nobody's business! I would imagine you probably need some good rest, and ( ... )