Well I did it. I made up my mind. I broke up with matt today and it feels so right. I love him i really do but right now I need to have some fun. He took it well this time and looks like he is doing ok. My only problem is when i pulled up this morning he had flowers and i didnt except them. I feel like a bitch. but oh this is for the best.

God if only I could run away right now I would be a lot happier. I cant make him happy anymore. I try but the more I do the more it hurts him. I dont want to see him hurt anymore but I dont want to give up my friends and my clothes and being happy all the time. The more Im happy the more he is depressed. I dont want to break up with him because it ( Read more... )

I cant seem to make up my mind. Its funny how people still want to talk to me even though I've been nothing but a bitch lately. Maybe its just that they cant be without my happy self. yeah right! well i dont know what else to say but dont ask me what my deal with matt is right now dont ask me what i want to do after high school dont ask me if i ( Read more... )

I just love how when I try to figure out life for myself it never works out. I feel like sucj a big fucking loser. You know what I really do believe I am a loser ( Read more... )

Hey im so bored! No one ever updates anymore. Where did yall go? lol! well its late and i should be going to bed.

Matt I love you
~Jess~

Not much to say but that I have my class list and it sucks so I will be changing classes lol. Work is all good and I miss matt. The funny thing is though that all last summer him and I saw each other now this summer we havent really gotten to see each other much. oooh well, shit happens ( Read more... )

Ok well I took a call the other day from someone unexpected. Sgt. Wit called. He asked me if I would still be intereasted in joining the Marines. My plans had nothing to with the milatary what so ever, but now I dont know. I am thinking about it really hard and the only thing I can think of is asking Matt ( Read more... )

Ok today started out bad but then it got better. I meat up with matt at the mall and I finally got him to go clothes shoppong. He bought four paris of jeans two t-shirts one long sleve t-shirt and two hoodies. plus he got a new cd. I also got him to get new socks white under shirts underwear and boxers. Now he is set for the school year ( Read more... )

Well today was just one of those days were everything felt so weird like it went in slow mo. I guess I am in a mad dazz.

Matt I miss you terribly and need this weekend to talk to you. I love you and cant wait to see you.

Love you Matt
~Jess~

OK today I went for my senior portriats. God it felt so weird when I put on the cap and gown. The guy taking my shots was a freak I wanted to punch him in his fat stomack. But other than that I looked good and I think pictures will come out nice ( Read more... )