talking to you, girl, is like long division
Here it is, my fic for the rayk97s challenge.
It's called
I cannot thank brooklinegirl enough for the handholding and beta work she did. If the end sucks, it's because I ran out of time to have her look at the final version.
I intended for this to be two parts, the first part (what's here) from the first verse of the my song, the second part (which I didn't end up doing. Yet. Maybe.) from the lyrics I was actually given. But life got in the way. It still was inspired by my lyrics, though.
Liar
Ray/Stella
PG
Lyrics from Singular Girl:
Well, you can blame it on the moonlight, blame it on plate tectonics
Thought I wasn't listening but I was.
Talk about attraction, talk about electronics
You are the reason, you are because.
[The first verse is:
Tell it to the radio, tell it to the television
They are not listening, they are only machines
I could sit around all day worrying and wishing
I was one of them so you would tell it to me]
Liar
For as long as he could remember, Ray had been a natural liar. When he was eight, he told his mom he was going to see Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, but instead he and his friends snuck into see Bullitt. Ten times. That wasn't really what made him a liar, though. No, what made him a liar was that all his friends wanted to be Steve McQueen, and they thought he did, too. The truth was a closely kept secret: Ray didn't want to be Steve McQueen, he wanted to do him.
Ray wasn't a very good student, but even at that young age, he heard how people talked. He listened and he watched and knew. In his neighborhood, people were downright cruel and nasty when they whispered about how Peter Gorzynski moved to the Sodom and Gemorrah of Chicago as soon as he graduated high school and broke his poor mother's heart carrying on with other perverted men. They were far less disgusted when they talked about Johnny Degutis, who went from torturing animals and other kids to doing time in Joliet for murdering someone for three dollars in change.
So Ray lied. When he was twelve and got a hard-on in the locker room at school, he didn't even have to think about it. "Didn't you see the way Laura Stasiak's tits were bouncing? Man, I'd like some of that."
"Of course I'm asking Jenny to the dance. Lisa said she'd say yes."
"I did my homework already, Ma. Don't worry so much."
And it was all fine. Ray had it under control.
In fifth grade, there were three Stans in the same class. The teacher decided the other two would be called Stan and Stanley, and by what he considered to be sheer dumb luck, he would be called by his middle name. That’s when Ray was born.
When Ray was in sixth grade, he and Will were headed into the record store to meet Will’s new girlfriend and a friend of hers. Just as they walked through the door, Ray felt a tingling that started in his jaw, worked its way up to the top of his head and down his spine to his stomach, which immediately felt like he’d just ridden the Tilt-A-Whirl five times in a row. As fast as it started, it was gone, the last sensation vanishing when he saw her. She had long, smooth blonde hair, blue eyes, and shiny pink lips. Lips that Ray wanted to taste. A silent Thank God flew from Ray, because finally, finally there was a girl who totally revved his engine.
Please let that be Lucy’s friend, and not Lucy. Because if anything, Ray was a loyal friend, and there was no way in hell he’d go panting after his best friend’s girl. Except maybe in the dark of his own room. He was 13, not a saint.
Will walked over to the girls, Ray trailing behind. He didn’t even realize he was holding his breath until Will put his arm around the redhead and said, “Ray, this is Lucy. And that’s Stella.”
“Hey,” Ray smirked, trying to play it cool. Inside, he was chanting Bullitt, Bullitt, Bullitt.
“Hey yourself,” she said coolly.
“What are you looking at?” he asked, nodding toward the bin of records she was flipping through.
“Zeppelin,” she answered, not looking up.
Ray crossed over so he could peek over her shoulder. She smelled good. Girlie. And she wasn’t moving away. “Cool,” he said. “I can play Over the Hills and Far Away.” If you used your imagination. She turned a little to look at him, so he played a little air guitar.
She smiled. “How long have you been playing?”
“A couple of years. My neighbor was chucking a bunch of stuff after her last kid moved out. I rescued the guitar from the curb. You play?”
“My parents made me play violin and piano.” She wrinkled her nose. It was adorable. “Violin’s ugh, but the piano’s okay. I’d rather be dancing, though.”
“Ballet?”
“Ballroom.” At his blank look, she continued, “Waltz, fox trot, polka. It’s fun. There’s open dances every Friday. A lot of kids from my school go. You should try it sometime.”
He mentally rolled his eyes, but hey, an opening’s an opening. “Only if you’ll go with me and show me what to do.”
“Sure.”
“This Friday?”
“Sounds good.” She turned around and said to Will and Lucy, “It’s really nice out. You guys want to go sit in the park? We could listen to music. I have my tape recorder.”
Lucy answered, “Of course you do.” She looked at Will and Ray. “She takes that thing everywhere with her. I need to use the restroom first, though.”
Stella linked arms with Lucy, “Okay, let’s go. We’ll be back in a minute, guys.”
Will and Ray watched them walk to the back of the store, their heads tilted together as they whispered to each other.
As soon as they were out of sight, Will asked, “So?”
“She’s totally cute, isn’t she?” He was pretty sure he sounded like a girl, but he didn’t much care. It took him a second to register why Will was glaring at him. “Oh, you mean Lucy. She seems nice, perfect for you.”
Will’s face cleared. “She is. So you like Stella, huh?”
Ray shrugged, still trying to play it cool even though he’d already blown it. “Well, I barely know her.”
“But you want her.”
“Maybe,” Ray said with a grin. “Hey, I’ll be right back.”
He went up the counter and bought a blank tape, then came back to where Will was standing with the girls’ backpacks. “Which one’s Stella’s?”
Will pointed to the one with the band pins all over it. Checking to make sure the girls weren’t coming back, Ray opened it, pulled the tape recorder out, popped in the new tape, and pressed record. “Hey, Stella, it’s Ray. Give me a call so we can work out Friday night. My number’s 567-9457. My parents will be out on Thursday night bowling and Friday’s their bridge night, so you don’t have to worry about them being around. Talk to you then.”
He hit the stop button, popped the tape out, and put the recorder back. He pulled a pen out of his back pocket, scrawled “Stella” across the label, tossed it in her bag, and zipped it up just as he heard the girls come out of the bathroom. He stood, grabbed both backpacks, and gave Lucy’s to Will. “You guys ready?” he asked the girls.
“Let’s hit it,” Lucy said, wrapping her arm Will’s waist. “It’s so sweet of you to take my bag, Will.”
Ray rolled his eyes and followed them out.
~*~
The first time Ray and Stella kissed, Ray was pretty sure the ground shook, although it was probably just his knees that were shaking.
It was after he’d suffered through his third Friday night of ballroom dancing, and it was the first time he’d managed to not step on Stella’s toes a single time. He’d even finally gotten the spin down. By the end of the night, he was able to stop concentrating so hard on doing the steps right and realize, hey, this was Stella he was dancing with, and wow, she felt great in his arms.
She was looking up at him and then she licked her lips. Ray just followed his gut. He danced her out onto the balcony, backed her to the wall, and laid one on her. By the time his brain caught up to his body, she was pressed against him, kissing him back, and Ray’s knees were doing the jello thing.
After the dance, when they were waiting outside for Stella’s dad to pick her up, Josh Hughes started teasing them a little about it. Stella said, “Hey, you’re just jealous.”
Josh and Ray both laughed, but when Josh caught Ray’s eye, just for a second, Ray knew Josh really was, and not because he wanted to be kissing Stella. The realization was enough to make Ray focus on Stella’s lips again, enough to make him kiss her right there in front of all her private school friends. Because he wanted Stella, and she wanted him back, and he needed everyone to know it, too.
~*~
Walking to class when they were juniors, Will asked, “How’s it going with Stella?”
“Good, I think,” Ray answered.
“You think?”
Ray shrugged. “Yeah, well. Sometimes when we’re talking, I feel like I’m in math class.”
Will looked at him like he was talking a different language. ”Huh?”
Ray tried to explain. “You know. She’s speaking English. I hear the words she’s saying and I know what each of them means, but when I put them altogether, I got no clue what she’s talking about.”
Will smiled. “Join the club, man.”
And that right there? Was his whole life with Stella in a nutshell.
~*~
The night Stella got into University of Chicago Law School, Ray took her out for dinner at the Signature Room in the Hancock building. She was home from University of Michigan for winter break and turned up at Ray’s part-time job at the record store to tell him that she’d been accepted.
It was such a relief to know that they would finally be in the same city again. Ray had done okay at Loyola while Stella was away. They visited each other as often as they could, and although Ray had been tempted, he’d never once cheated. Partly it was because of his own sense of loyalty, partly it was because he’d never met another girl who turned him on like Stella did, and partly it was because he was haunted by the specter of Peter Gorzynski.
So as they sat in the window of the restaurant, the electric aura of the city bathing Stella in its glow, Ray got down on one knee and offered Stella the ring he’d been saving for since sixth grade. Lucy had helped him pick it out the month before, and Stella absolutely loved it.
Ray vowed to himself he would always do whatever it took to keep his Gold Coast girl happy. And if from time to time, he still felt like being with her was like being in math class, well, he was trying and that had to count for something. It just had to. There was no other option.
~*~
Ray was leaning over his desk, his back to the bullpen, when it happened. He felt a tingling that started in his jaw, worked its way up to the top of his head and down his spine to his stomach, which immediately felt like he’d just ridden the Tilt-A-Whirl five times in a row. When it began, he couldn’t stop the dread. He hadn’t felt this way since Stella and look how well that had turned out. Realizing where he was, he spared a second to throw a little prayer heavenwards that it wouldn’t be a perp. Then, as fast as it started, it was gone, the last sensation vanishing when Ray heard his name being called, and turned around and saw him.
Yes, him. Oh fuck.
At least he wasn’t a perp, that much was obvious. His bright red Mountie uniform made that pretty clear. It also meant that this was Ray’s new partner, and that was never good. Ray could handle it, though. Yeah, he would be just fine. Because what was one more lie piled on top of the mountain this undercover gig had already made, especially a lie he’d had a lifetime’s worth of practice with?
So he plastered a smile on his face and opened his arms to the guy. “Fraser! Buddy! You have a good time up there in the Northwest Areas?”
He could do this. It was all good.
It's called
I cannot thank brooklinegirl enough for the handholding and beta work she did. If the end sucks, it's because I ran out of time to have her look at the final version.
I intended for this to be two parts, the first part (what's here) from the first verse of the my song, the second part (which I didn't end up doing. Yet. Maybe.) from the lyrics I was actually given. But life got in the way. It still was inspired by my lyrics, though.
Liar
Ray/Stella
PG
Lyrics from Singular Girl:
Well, you can blame it on the moonlight, blame it on plate tectonics
Thought I wasn't listening but I was.
Talk about attraction, talk about electronics
You are the reason, you are because.
[The first verse is:
Tell it to the radio, tell it to the television
They are not listening, they are only machines
I could sit around all day worrying and wishing
I was one of them so you would tell it to me]
Liar
For as long as he could remember, Ray had been a natural liar. When he was eight, he told his mom he was going to see Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, but instead he and his friends snuck into see Bullitt. Ten times. That wasn't really what made him a liar, though. No, what made him a liar was that all his friends wanted to be Steve McQueen, and they thought he did, too. The truth was a closely kept secret: Ray didn't want to be Steve McQueen, he wanted to do him.
Ray wasn't a very good student, but even at that young age, he heard how people talked. He listened and he watched and knew. In his neighborhood, people were downright cruel and nasty when they whispered about how Peter Gorzynski moved to the Sodom and Gemorrah of Chicago as soon as he graduated high school and broke his poor mother's heart carrying on with other perverted men. They were far less disgusted when they talked about Johnny Degutis, who went from torturing animals and other kids to doing time in Joliet for murdering someone for three dollars in change.
So Ray lied. When he was twelve and got a hard-on in the locker room at school, he didn't even have to think about it. "Didn't you see the way Laura Stasiak's tits were bouncing? Man, I'd like some of that."
"Of course I'm asking Jenny to the dance. Lisa said she'd say yes."
"I did my homework already, Ma. Don't worry so much."
And it was all fine. Ray had it under control.
In fifth grade, there were three Stans in the same class. The teacher decided the other two would be called Stan and Stanley, and by what he considered to be sheer dumb luck, he would be called by his middle name. That’s when Ray was born.
When Ray was in sixth grade, he and Will were headed into the record store to meet Will’s new girlfriend and a friend of hers. Just as they walked through the door, Ray felt a tingling that started in his jaw, worked its way up to the top of his head and down his spine to his stomach, which immediately felt like he’d just ridden the Tilt-A-Whirl five times in a row. As fast as it started, it was gone, the last sensation vanishing when he saw her. She had long, smooth blonde hair, blue eyes, and shiny pink lips. Lips that Ray wanted to taste. A silent Thank God flew from Ray, because finally, finally there was a girl who totally revved his engine.
Please let that be Lucy’s friend, and not Lucy. Because if anything, Ray was a loyal friend, and there was no way in hell he’d go panting after his best friend’s girl. Except maybe in the dark of his own room. He was 13, not a saint.
Will walked over to the girls, Ray trailing behind. He didn’t even realize he was holding his breath until Will put his arm around the redhead and said, “Ray, this is Lucy. And that’s Stella.”
“Hey,” Ray smirked, trying to play it cool. Inside, he was chanting Bullitt, Bullitt, Bullitt.
“Hey yourself,” she said coolly.
“What are you looking at?” he asked, nodding toward the bin of records she was flipping through.
“Zeppelin,” she answered, not looking up.
Ray crossed over so he could peek over her shoulder. She smelled good. Girlie. And she wasn’t moving away. “Cool,” he said. “I can play Over the Hills and Far Away.” If you used your imagination. She turned a little to look at him, so he played a little air guitar.
She smiled. “How long have you been playing?”
“A couple of years. My neighbor was chucking a bunch of stuff after her last kid moved out. I rescued the guitar from the curb. You play?”
“My parents made me play violin and piano.” She wrinkled her nose. It was adorable. “Violin’s ugh, but the piano’s okay. I’d rather be dancing, though.”
“Ballet?”
“Ballroom.” At his blank look, she continued, “Waltz, fox trot, polka. It’s fun. There’s open dances every Friday. A lot of kids from my school go. You should try it sometime.”
He mentally rolled his eyes, but hey, an opening’s an opening. “Only if you’ll go with me and show me what to do.”
“Sure.”
“This Friday?”
“Sounds good.” She turned around and said to Will and Lucy, “It’s really nice out. You guys want to go sit in the park? We could listen to music. I have my tape recorder.”
Lucy answered, “Of course you do.” She looked at Will and Ray. “She takes that thing everywhere with her. I need to use the restroom first, though.”
Stella linked arms with Lucy, “Okay, let’s go. We’ll be back in a minute, guys.”
Will and Ray watched them walk to the back of the store, their heads tilted together as they whispered to each other.
As soon as they were out of sight, Will asked, “So?”
“She’s totally cute, isn’t she?” He was pretty sure he sounded like a girl, but he didn’t much care. It took him a second to register why Will was glaring at him. “Oh, you mean Lucy. She seems nice, perfect for you.”
Will’s face cleared. “She is. So you like Stella, huh?”
Ray shrugged, still trying to play it cool even though he’d already blown it. “Well, I barely know her.”
“But you want her.”
“Maybe,” Ray said with a grin. “Hey, I’ll be right back.”
He went up the counter and bought a blank tape, then came back to where Will was standing with the girls’ backpacks. “Which one’s Stella’s?”
Will pointed to the one with the band pins all over it. Checking to make sure the girls weren’t coming back, Ray opened it, pulled the tape recorder out, popped in the new tape, and pressed record. “Hey, Stella, it’s Ray. Give me a call so we can work out Friday night. My number’s 567-9457. My parents will be out on Thursday night bowling and Friday’s their bridge night, so you don’t have to worry about them being around. Talk to you then.”
He hit the stop button, popped the tape out, and put the recorder back. He pulled a pen out of his back pocket, scrawled “Stella” across the label, tossed it in her bag, and zipped it up just as he heard the girls come out of the bathroom. He stood, grabbed both backpacks, and gave Lucy’s to Will. “You guys ready?” he asked the girls.
“Let’s hit it,” Lucy said, wrapping her arm Will’s waist. “It’s so sweet of you to take my bag, Will.”
Ray rolled his eyes and followed them out.
~*~
The first time Ray and Stella kissed, Ray was pretty sure the ground shook, although it was probably just his knees that were shaking.
It was after he’d suffered through his third Friday night of ballroom dancing, and it was the first time he’d managed to not step on Stella’s toes a single time. He’d even finally gotten the spin down. By the end of the night, he was able to stop concentrating so hard on doing the steps right and realize, hey, this was Stella he was dancing with, and wow, she felt great in his arms.
She was looking up at him and then she licked her lips. Ray just followed his gut. He danced her out onto the balcony, backed her to the wall, and laid one on her. By the time his brain caught up to his body, she was pressed against him, kissing him back, and Ray’s knees were doing the jello thing.
After the dance, when they were waiting outside for Stella’s dad to pick her up, Josh Hughes started teasing them a little about it. Stella said, “Hey, you’re just jealous.”
Josh and Ray both laughed, but when Josh caught Ray’s eye, just for a second, Ray knew Josh really was, and not because he wanted to be kissing Stella. The realization was enough to make Ray focus on Stella’s lips again, enough to make him kiss her right there in front of all her private school friends. Because he wanted Stella, and she wanted him back, and he needed everyone to know it, too.
~*~
Walking to class when they were juniors, Will asked, “How’s it going with Stella?”
“Good, I think,” Ray answered.
“You think?”
Ray shrugged. “Yeah, well. Sometimes when we’re talking, I feel like I’m in math class.”
Will looked at him like he was talking a different language. ”Huh?”
Ray tried to explain. “You know. She’s speaking English. I hear the words she’s saying and I know what each of them means, but when I put them altogether, I got no clue what she’s talking about.”
Will smiled. “Join the club, man.”
And that right there? Was his whole life with Stella in a nutshell.
~*~
The night Stella got into University of Chicago Law School, Ray took her out for dinner at the Signature Room in the Hancock building. She was home from University of Michigan for winter break and turned up at Ray’s part-time job at the record store to tell him that she’d been accepted.
It was such a relief to know that they would finally be in the same city again. Ray had done okay at Loyola while Stella was away. They visited each other as often as they could, and although Ray had been tempted, he’d never once cheated. Partly it was because of his own sense of loyalty, partly it was because he’d never met another girl who turned him on like Stella did, and partly it was because he was haunted by the specter of Peter Gorzynski.
So as they sat in the window of the restaurant, the electric aura of the city bathing Stella in its glow, Ray got down on one knee and offered Stella the ring he’d been saving for since sixth grade. Lucy had helped him pick it out the month before, and Stella absolutely loved it.
Ray vowed to himself he would always do whatever it took to keep his Gold Coast girl happy. And if from time to time, he still felt like being with her was like being in math class, well, he was trying and that had to count for something. It just had to. There was no other option.
~*~
Ray was leaning over his desk, his back to the bullpen, when it happened. He felt a tingling that started in his jaw, worked its way up to the top of his head and down his spine to his stomach, which immediately felt like he’d just ridden the Tilt-A-Whirl five times in a row. When it began, he couldn’t stop the dread. He hadn’t felt this way since Stella and look how well that had turned out. Realizing where he was, he spared a second to throw a little prayer heavenwards that it wouldn’t be a perp. Then, as fast as it started, it was gone, the last sensation vanishing when Ray heard his name being called, and turned around and saw him.
Yes, him. Oh fuck.
At least he wasn’t a perp, that much was obvious. His bright red Mountie uniform made that pretty clear. It also meant that this was Ray’s new partner, and that was never good. Ray could handle it, though. Yeah, he would be just fine. Because what was one more lie piled on top of the mountain this undercover gig had already made, especially a lie he’d had a lifetime’s worth of practice with?
So he plastered a smile on his face and opened his arms to the guy. “Fraser! Buddy! You have a good time up there in the Northwest Areas?”
He could do this. It was all good.