(no subject)
I walked into school this morning, and sat down with my friends; the first thing that Susan said to me “today I am going to please my teacher.”
Please your teacher? Aren’t you supposed to do that everyday? I say to myself. The thought that one must now plan to please a teacher is truly mind-boggling. Gone are the days when simply raising one’s hand was enough to make the teacher happy.
“How do you intend to do this?” I ask.
“I printed off the entire State of the Union Address and read it.” Susan handed me the nine page tome and I flipped through it. Judging by the many words and small print, I missed a lot when I feel asleep during the speech last night. I look more closely, and see underlines and circles around what I can only presume are key ideas.
“You underlined it?” I said trying to suppress laughter.
“Duh, I’m going to please her so that when she talks about the speech today in class I can make comments and nod knowingly.” I couldn’t hold it in any longer, I laughed. Then flipped through the pages again, suddenly wondering if they held the key to pleasing my teacher.
I am flustered and mad at myself; how did I possibly miss the boat on the fact that you actually have to be familiar with the State of the Union Address in order to please teachers? I am the girl in class that writes down every single thing that the teacher says. I don’t know how, but in my pages and pages of notes in my spiral notebooks, I somehow failed to write down: watch the State of the Union Address and know what it’s all about.
All of a sudden my thought tide turns; maybe it’s Susan who screwed up. Have you ever heard of a teacher’s pet? Well, at the moment that is what Susan has turned into. The woeful little girl with blue eyes and blonde braids, wearing the most perfect pressed checkerboard dress; now has Susan’s angelic face. Whoa, did I actually just call Susan’s face angelic? This teacher’s pet thing could actually be true. Maybe it is alright that I have basically no idea what the State of the Union Address was about last night; I mean… no one likes a teachers pet. Too bad I spent the better part of my elementary and middle school years trying to be the teacher’s favorite.
“You just watch she’s going to proud of me today,” says Susan, interrupting my evil thoughts about her.
“Susan, I just think it’s hilarious that you printed off and read and underlined the entire speech, I mean, that must have been drier than the AP Euro reading we had to do.”
Then our friend Patty speaks up, “You know, Susan may have been smart, watching that thing is impossible, so much clapping and standing; I almost fell asleep.”
Shoot. Does that mean that I am of lower intelligence or lesser motivation than Susan and Patti? I did fall asleep; oh G-d, I will never be able to live with the shame. Then the bell rang. I was terrified to go to my first period history class, what if Mrs. Brown gave us a pop quiz, no notes, on the State of the Union Address?
I walk slowly, anticipating every movement my body makes, I begin to shake as soon as the door comes into sight. I wish I had an apple; yes, a bright red apple, teachers like apples, then I could please Mrs. Brown, too. That used to work. I wish it still could. I walk into the classroom, gasping for breath. Then I see Mrs. Brown, and I can’t suppress the urge. “Mrs. Brown, did you watch the State of the Union Address last night?” I shake even more, dreading her answer.
“Well if I have to be honest, Meghan, I tried, but I just couldn’t get through it; it was boring and I fell asleep.”