Birth story
Here's my actual birth story, its VERY VERY long, and if you don't wanna read about gruesome details of birth prob just ignore it =D
Alex was born on tuesday at 4:59 PM. He was 7IBs 9oz and 19 " long.
I went to my 39 week appointment on monday as I had posted on monday, and my blood pressure was super high so they sent me over for tests and pretty much said I had to be induced as they didn't want anything to happen that would lead to a C-section. I above all did not want to have to have a c-section so this was okay with me. I really didn't wanna be induced either as I was trying for med free but my numbers were not coming down and I was more worried about getting him out safely then getting induced at this point.
Sadly this was ALL out of my birthplan but it needed to be done. I still managed to go pretty much medfree as I had intended. It was the most pain I've ever felt in my life! I gave in near the end and got some staydol (sp?) I feel guilty about it still, but i promise you the potcin was so powerful and it made everything so painful I thought I was going to pass out from the pain.
I managed to make it through almost my entire labor before I gave in to needing help. After I got that, they turn the pitocin way down and I was able to start pushing. and before we knew it alex was out!
Now to actually go into more detail about stuff.
They had me go in at 6pm on monday and start the cervidil? This sucked only for the fact I was stuck on my side for 2 hours straight after they put it in, and the beds are crappy! It was bearable, but it had to be in for 12 hours. They checked me after it was done the next day and I had dilated 4 cm, so it was great progress and we were all happy!
They then let me start the pitocin, I had my normal contractions all night and they were very bearable, nothing painful etc. But after the pitocin was in for a few hours I had to start breathing through them. They began to become painful after many hours, and I want to say around 1 or 2pm tuesday they were getting pretty powerful. I got up to use the bathroom and asked to take all the monitors off so I could walk around a tiny bit and just strech. Being stuck in bed was horrible for me. It was everything I DIDN'T want. I had intended to walk, use the birthing ball you name it. But I had to be monitored so I was stuck in that stupid god damn bed. My nurse was a saint though she let me get up and move around when I really couldn't stand the bed anymore.
Anyways after walking in the room a bit and swaying I sat in the rocking chair and thats when it happened, my water broke. Now me and hubby both fully believe that after this occurred that I went into "natural" labor. I mean as soon as it broke my contractions went from painful to almost unbearable.
I was concentrating through each one, hubby was holding my hand helping me the entire time, every single one. He is the greatest man ever! At some point (I can't remember when) they put in the internal monitor thing to actually see how painful my contractions were and everyone was so shocked at how powerful they were already. My actual monitors weren't doing a good job before as the damn thing kept sliding off my belly! They checked me in the process and I was 6cm, and they were all very happy I was progressing. They upped the pitocin at this point.
The pitocin was horrible at this point. It made everything so much worse.
All I remember during this point was asking over and over "am I peeking yet?" because I knew when I got through that I could manage. It was so painful, the pitocin at this point was my worst enemy. I think my own normal labor was happening but the stupid pitocin was causing me to go from 1 big one every 3 min to back to back ones and then one super huge one etc. It was just all over the place. They finally came in and started turning it down. And at this point I just couldn't take the pain anymore. I was closing my eyes, breathing squeezing hubby's hand HARD every time. It was the only thing I could do. I finally got a contraction so bad I thought I was going to faint. I started crying, And after that one I told hubby the whole "I don't think I can do this anymore" He thought that meant I wanted the epi, I NEVER wanted the epi. I always meant I might need some painmeds just to take the edge off.
At this point I could see hubby's heart breaking, he wanted me to go med free (I DID TOO) but he didn't know at this point that I NEVER EVER intended to get an Epi. They did however bring me some stadol. I now feel super guilty about it, but I also know I honestly don't think I could have done it without it. After it kicked in I could manage again. The most painful contractions were now just as painful as the ones I was managing through. They still hurt like more pain I could ever imagin in my life, but I could get through them.
At this point My eyes were closed the entire time, I was just dreaming of alex thinking of him coming, squeeing hubbies hand helped SO much. Knowing he was there with me through everything. (im tearing up thinking about it)
Now something strange happened, I was getting through the pain, and then it happend I had the urge to push! Everyone was so happy when I said "I need to push" and they starting getting everything ready, the nurse told me what I needed to do when I pushed etc. And we started pushing. Hubby and His mom were there with me, (she is a nurse for those like ZOMG MIL? EW) they were holding my legs while I was pushing. This went on for about an hour .. I think? And it was funny when I finally asked "do we have stirrups?" I felt like I was going to knock MIL over because she's a tiny little old women and I was trying to brace on her. After I got my feet into the stirrups I was pushing 100% better, he was moving down everytime after that. I wish I had thought about it sooner.
I was kinda loopy from the stadol. But in all honesty it was SO much help, eyes closed just thinking about alex, thinking about every push, breathing etc. It really helped me concentrate on the pain, to use the pain to push etc. Sooner then I realized he was down and the doc was getting in ready to finish.
Now at this point everything was so intense, I could feel alex "there" like right down ready to be born. We started the last few pushes, I was so tired, I had at this point been pushing for about 2 hours. I know I kept saying "Im so tired, over and over" and they kept telling me I was almost done.
So after a few big big pushes he was coming down, and I was in mid bear down push of my life burning pain of his head, and the doc yells out "STOP PUSHING", and then it happens, I could feel the tear. We have it in the vid I actually make a "yelp" sound. It hurt.. SOOOO god damn bad. But my body was taking over, I stopped held on for a few seconds, and I think I was almost begging" Can I push?" and he said, "yes push" and then it was over. The burning was done, he was out. And then He said' Heidi Open your eyes" And I saw my little boy being pulled up and put on my chest. It was the happiest moment of my life. At this point I was so happy, the pain litterally dissapeared from my body like someone cast a spell on me. I could feel the doc feeling around, I could still feel the tear. I felt him deliver the placenta everything. But there was no pain.
Birthing class wasn't lying when they were telling you that you get a surge of endorphins and other such things to take away the pain. I felt great.
They came over cleaned alex up, while he was on my chest. I honestly don't remember much at this point, just staring at my little boy as he was looking around with his big blue eyes. I was lost in him, it was just me and him in that room.
And then cruel reality hit me, and the doc said he couldn't repair my tear in there, and that i was going to have to go into the OR because it was so deep inside. I was okay with it at this point. I wanted alex on me skin to skin for as long as possible, but I enjoyed my 10 min or so. It was a little give and take, I got some things but some things were taken from me. I am 100% okay with this. I tore and I had to have it fixed simple as that. The one thing that did make me happy about this was my actual OB was one of the ones that fixed me. She was not the one who delivered for me (which was fine because all the docs here are amazing) but I got to talk to her shortly before they put me under and she told me she was so proud of me etc.
When I woke up they brought me back, and by then hubby had packed everything and was bringing stuff up for me onto postpartum room. He took MIL home, and I was able to sit with my little man just me and him for about 30 min. It was wonderful. We then went to postpartum room and hubby came in shortly after.
We have a bunch of recordings we might post later but for now here's some of the few pics we manged to snap with iphones.
http://www.reignofelysian.com/alex/ http://www.reignofelysian.com/alex/sarvsleep.jpg
Here's chris napping while I was getting medication to start labor. It was a long 12 hours before I was even given the pitocin
http://www.reignofelysian.com/alex/contractions.jpg This is a picture of me just getting through my contractions as they started.
Chris managed to get me to smile. http://www.reignofelysian.com/alex/waterbreak.jpg
At this point I was very deep into the contractions and my water actually broke a few min after this picture was taken.
http://www.reignofelysian.com/alex/birth.jpg
Here is a picture chris snapped after they put alex on my chest right after he was born. This was quite possibly the greatest moment of my life. All the natural pain relievers were kicking in at this very moment and all I could think about was alex and I was just so happy.
http://www.reignofelysian.com/alex/cuddleing.jpg
This is the first picture I took of alex myself, We were sitting together waiting to be taken to the post partum room in the hospital.
http://www.reignofelysian.com/alex/holding.jpg
Here's chris cuddling with him before getting ready to feed him.
http://www.reignofelysian.com/alex/feeding.jpg
Chris feeding him after being taught to sit him up better because he was drinking his food too fast and it was causing spitups.
http://www.reignofelysian.com/alex/burping.jpg
Here's chris burping him
http://www.reignofelysian.com/alex/sleepy.jpg
Here's alex all sleepy-eyed after his feeding.
This was the first time alex had actually stayed awake with his eyes open for a long period of time.
the last pic is alex sleeping in his own crib at home right now, taken a few hours ago!
This post prob has 100s of errors I will try to fix tomorrow. It's time for a feeding and I am tired. I just really wanted to get this off my chest. If anyone actually read the entire thing you are a trooper!
TLDR: I was induced, I made it almost all the way through med free, got stadol, baby tore the crap out of me, pitocin sucks, baby on chest after giving birth = happiest time of my life.