Trick or Treat
Trick or Treat by LilFerret
Fandom: Supernatural
Summary: This outfit was damned uncomfortable. And it left no room for error.
Rated: PG13/Teen
Categories: Humor, Supernatural
Characters/Ship: Dean Winchester/Castiel
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Language
Completed: Yes
Word count: 1,636
Published: 02/11/13
Author Notes: I don’t even know what this is. Crack? It’s possible.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Over here at ff.net...
Over here at AO3...
Trick or Treat
“You have got to be kidding me.”
“Actually, no.”
Dean’s eyes narrowed as he took in the outfit his brother was holding up. “There’s no way in hell I’m wearing that, Sammy.”
Sam raised his eyebrows, ignoring the nickname for a moment. “Look, we can’t get into this place tonight without a costume.”
“Then we go another night,” replied Dean, still scowling.
“We can’t, Dean. This guy only shows up in public when he can fit in, and that’s on Halloween.”
Dean sighed loudly, dropping onto the edge of the bed. “And what exactly are you going to be?”
Sam laid the costume on the other bed and reached into the bag once more. He held up a pair of cowboy boots and a suede vest, smiling.
“Dude, seriously? You get to go all cowboy and you think I’m putting on a pair of tights? I’m not the girl, here, man.”
Sam shrugged, placing the items back in the bag. “It’s up to you, Dean. Cas and I can go alone.”
Dean’s eyebrow quirked. “What’s he wearing?”
“I’ll be a cherub,” Castiel replied, appearing suddenly by the window.
“Jesus Christ, Cas,” Dean snapped, glaring.
“Hello, Dean.”
“Can’t you ever announce yourself first?”
“I apologize.”
Sam folded his arms over his chest. “They only had the cowboy getup in my size. It was either Robin or a pink bunny for you. Excuse me for assuming you’d prefer to be the superhero.”
Dean’s eyes widened. “You mean sidekick? Damn it. I’ll just wear the mask.”
“Nope. It’s gotta be a full costume,” replied Sam. “House rules. Are you in or are you out?”
Dean didn’t see much choice in the matter. He glanced at Cas who was watching him with that intense look he was so good at, and then back at his brother. “I can’t believe I’m letting you talk me into this.”
Dean adjusted himself for the hundredth time since they’d arrived. The tights he was wearing - and son of a bitch, if Sam ever did this to him again he was going to seriously give credence to the voice in the back of his mind telling him that his brother would be easiest to kill in his sleep - were living up to their namesake, and he was certain his voice was now higher.
“You see him yet?” he asked, growling.
“It does not appear he has arrived,” Castiel replied, mouth full of cheeseburger.
Dean glanced at the angel, raising an eyebrow. “Really? How can you tell? I don’t think you’ve looked up from that plate even once.”
Castiel swallowed hard, eyes meeting Dean’s. “I am more aware than you might believe.”
Sam shook his head, holding up his hands. “Cas is right, Dean. He hasn’t shown up yet.”
Dean shrugged, sitting back. This outfit was damned uncomfortable. And it left no room for error. In fact, as Cas continued to stare at him Dean realized exactly how inconvenient it was. He cleared his throat and scooted his chair forward until he had the table for coverage.
“Eat your burger, Cas,” he groused, looking away.
Castiel considered Dean for another moment before nodding, dipping his head to his plate once more and taking another bite of his food. It was good. Not as good as some of the cheeseburgers he had consumed before, but it was high on the list.
“I’m not sure why we’re even here, Sam,” said Dean, looking around. “This isn’t our usual gig.”
Sam sighed. “Look, Dean, I told you, it’s important to my friend. I promised her.”
“Friend. Right.”
Sam glared at him. “She is a friend.”
Dean rolled his eyes and folded his arms. “So you keep telling me.”
“No one else would know where to find this guy, alright? She knows that, so she asked me. Besides, it’s for her little girl. You want me to tell her I can’t get involved just because it’s not our usual gig?”
Dean’s eyebrows furrowed. “I suppose not. But for the record I’m still pissed you told her what we do.”
“Whatever. There he is!” Sam got up from the table, making his way toward the bar.
Dean turned in his chair, watching as his brother stepped up beside his contact. Shaking his head, he looked back at Castiel, pointing a thumb over his shoulder. “That has got to be the most ridiculous costume I’ve ever seen.”
“That is not a costume, Dean,” the angel replied, his dinner finished. “That is his normal clothing.”
“You’re shitting me.”
Castiel tilted his head. “I am not.”
Dean smirked, glancing over his shoulder. “A tiara and a tutu?”
“Is that not what human children believe he looks like?”
Dean winced. “Frankly, I always assumed the Tooth Fairy was a chick.” He cleared his throat, turning back toward the table. “I mean, if the Tooth Fair were real.”
“He is very real.”
“Yeah, apparently so.” Dean raised an eyebrow as his brother returned and sat back down. “Any luck?”
“He’s going to stop by their house tomorrow night,” Sam replied, smiling.
“Dude, he seriously goes to people’s houses and exchanges money for teeth?”
“Yep.”
Dean groaned. “That’s so gross.”
“That’s his job,” said Sam, shrugging. “You didn’t complain when the Tooth Fairy visited us, Dean.”
“That was our father, Sam,” he replied.
“How can you be sure?”
Dean looked disgusted. They headed back to the car and Dean slid into the driver’s seat, leaving his brother and the angel to take the passenger seat and rear seat, respectively.
Once they were on their way back to the motel, Dean sighed. “I can’t wait to get this damned costume off. Talk about embarrassing. Did you see the way people were looking at me in there?”
Sam nodded, smirking. “Yes I did. When I spoke with Gary there were a couple girls next to us talking about how great you looked in tights.”
“Gary?”
“My contact.”
“The Tooth Fairy’s name is Gary?”
“Yes.”
Dean shook his head. “Yeah, well, I didn’t see anyone in there do anything but laugh at me. I really doubt anyone thought I looked great in tights.”
“I think you look great in tights,” the angel supplied.
“Er, thanks, Cas,” said Dean, shifting in his seat. “I think.”
“Do you like my wings, Dean?”
Sam grimaced, looking toward the window. This conversation was getting awkward.
“Sure, Cas, your wings are nice.”
“There was a diaper to go with this costume as well,” Castiel explained, leaning forward, “but Sam advised me I would draw too much unwanted attention. That is why I am only wearing the wings and the sandals with the bow and arrow.”
Dean’s eyes widened, suddenly picturing the angel in a diaper. He shuddered. “That was probably a good idea, Cas. It would have been…weird…otherwise.”
“I explained the difference between an angel and a cherub,” Castiel continued. “Sam agreed with me, but the packaging for the costume says it is an angel. Angels do not have such small wings.”
Dean laughed. “Maybe the wings are in direct proportion to…other things.”
“Other things?”
Dean smirked. “Yeah, you know. Certain parts of an angel’s body.”
Castiel considered that for a moment. “If you are referring to genitalia, Dean, I believe I have already explained that angels do not have this. We do not have genders.”
Sam groaned, still facing the passenger window. He couldn’t believe this conversation was taking such a drastic turn. Okay, no, he could believe it; he just wished it could be when he didn’t have to hear it.
“That is not to say that this vessel is not quite well endowed.”
Dean choked on his own spit, gripping the steering wheel tightly as he coughed and attempted to breathe. Jesus Christ.
“Are you alright, Dean?” Castiel asked.
“Yeah,” he squeaked, swallowing and clearing his throat. His eyes were stinging and his damned costume was getting tight again. “I’m fine.”
There was no further conversation until they pulled into the motel parking lot. Dean hurriedly got out of the car, followed by Sam and Castiel. He opened the door to the room and Sam pushed past him, mumbling something about needing to call his friend.
Once inside, Dean threw the keys on the dresser and made a beeline for the clothes piled on his bed. “I’m gonna change.” He then disappeared into the bathroom.
Castiel began removing his costume, placing each item back into the bag where they’d come from. He stroked a hand over the feathers of one of the wings. They really felt nothing like his own.
When Dean returned from the bathroom he was once again wearing jeans and a button down shirt, and he had his costume balled up in his hand. “I’m gonna burn this when I get a chance.”
“You should not,” Castiel told him, frowning.
“Yeah? Why not?”
“I would like to see you wear it at another time.”
Their eyes met across the room and Dean looked away first. He couldn’t hold that stare very long without feeling like the angel was looking into his soul. It was both intense and completely disarming. He tossed the costume in the corner.
“Not going to happen.”
“That is a shame,” Castiel replied.
“I told my friend we met with Gary,” Sam interrupted, not meeting either of their eyes. “She’s…invited me by for the evening.”
Dean’s head spun towards his brother. “So she is more than a friend. Sammy, you dog.”
Sam ignored him, picking up the keys where Dean had tossed them. “I’m taking the car. I’m assuming neither of you is going to need it.”
“I will not,” Castiel confirmed.
When the door closed behind him, Dean and Castiel looked back at each other. Dean was thankful he was no longer wearing the tights.
“So,” he said, his voice gruff, “well endowed, huh?”
~end~
Comments and reviews always welcome and appreciated. ♥
Fandom: Supernatural
Summary: This outfit was damned uncomfortable. And it left no room for error.
Rated: PG13/Teen
Categories: Humor, Supernatural
Characters/Ship: Dean Winchester/Castiel
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Language
Completed: Yes
Word count: 1,636
Published: 02/11/13
Author Notes: I don’t even know what this is. Crack? It’s possible.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Over here at ff.net...
Over here at AO3...
Trick or Treat
“You have got to be kidding me.”
“Actually, no.”
Dean’s eyes narrowed as he took in the outfit his brother was holding up. “There’s no way in hell I’m wearing that, Sammy.”
Sam raised his eyebrows, ignoring the nickname for a moment. “Look, we can’t get into this place tonight without a costume.”
“Then we go another night,” replied Dean, still scowling.
“We can’t, Dean. This guy only shows up in public when he can fit in, and that’s on Halloween.”
Dean sighed loudly, dropping onto the edge of the bed. “And what exactly are you going to be?”
Sam laid the costume on the other bed and reached into the bag once more. He held up a pair of cowboy boots and a suede vest, smiling.
“Dude, seriously? You get to go all cowboy and you think I’m putting on a pair of tights? I’m not the girl, here, man.”
Sam shrugged, placing the items back in the bag. “It’s up to you, Dean. Cas and I can go alone.”
Dean’s eyebrow quirked. “What’s he wearing?”
“I’ll be a cherub,” Castiel replied, appearing suddenly by the window.
“Jesus Christ, Cas,” Dean snapped, glaring.
“Hello, Dean.”
“Can’t you ever announce yourself first?”
“I apologize.”
Sam folded his arms over his chest. “They only had the cowboy getup in my size. It was either Robin or a pink bunny for you. Excuse me for assuming you’d prefer to be the superhero.”
Dean’s eyes widened. “You mean sidekick? Damn it. I’ll just wear the mask.”
“Nope. It’s gotta be a full costume,” replied Sam. “House rules. Are you in or are you out?”
Dean didn’t see much choice in the matter. He glanced at Cas who was watching him with that intense look he was so good at, and then back at his brother. “I can’t believe I’m letting you talk me into this.”
Dean adjusted himself for the hundredth time since they’d arrived. The tights he was wearing - and son of a bitch, if Sam ever did this to him again he was going to seriously give credence to the voice in the back of his mind telling him that his brother would be easiest to kill in his sleep - were living up to their namesake, and he was certain his voice was now higher.
“You see him yet?” he asked, growling.
“It does not appear he has arrived,” Castiel replied, mouth full of cheeseburger.
Dean glanced at the angel, raising an eyebrow. “Really? How can you tell? I don’t think you’ve looked up from that plate even once.”
Castiel swallowed hard, eyes meeting Dean’s. “I am more aware than you might believe.”
Sam shook his head, holding up his hands. “Cas is right, Dean. He hasn’t shown up yet.”
Dean shrugged, sitting back. This outfit was damned uncomfortable. And it left no room for error. In fact, as Cas continued to stare at him Dean realized exactly how inconvenient it was. He cleared his throat and scooted his chair forward until he had the table for coverage.
“Eat your burger, Cas,” he groused, looking away.
Castiel considered Dean for another moment before nodding, dipping his head to his plate once more and taking another bite of his food. It was good. Not as good as some of the cheeseburgers he had consumed before, but it was high on the list.
“I’m not sure why we’re even here, Sam,” said Dean, looking around. “This isn’t our usual gig.”
Sam sighed. “Look, Dean, I told you, it’s important to my friend. I promised her.”
“Friend. Right.”
Sam glared at him. “She is a friend.”
Dean rolled his eyes and folded his arms. “So you keep telling me.”
“No one else would know where to find this guy, alright? She knows that, so she asked me. Besides, it’s for her little girl. You want me to tell her I can’t get involved just because it’s not our usual gig?”
Dean’s eyebrows furrowed. “I suppose not. But for the record I’m still pissed you told her what we do.”
“Whatever. There he is!” Sam got up from the table, making his way toward the bar.
Dean turned in his chair, watching as his brother stepped up beside his contact. Shaking his head, he looked back at Castiel, pointing a thumb over his shoulder. “That has got to be the most ridiculous costume I’ve ever seen.”
“That is not a costume, Dean,” the angel replied, his dinner finished. “That is his normal clothing.”
“You’re shitting me.”
Castiel tilted his head. “I am not.”
Dean smirked, glancing over his shoulder. “A tiara and a tutu?”
“Is that not what human children believe he looks like?”
Dean winced. “Frankly, I always assumed the Tooth Fairy was a chick.” He cleared his throat, turning back toward the table. “I mean, if the Tooth Fair were real.”
“He is very real.”
“Yeah, apparently so.” Dean raised an eyebrow as his brother returned and sat back down. “Any luck?”
“He’s going to stop by their house tomorrow night,” Sam replied, smiling.
“Dude, he seriously goes to people’s houses and exchanges money for teeth?”
“Yep.”
Dean groaned. “That’s so gross.”
“That’s his job,” said Sam, shrugging. “You didn’t complain when the Tooth Fairy visited us, Dean.”
“That was our father, Sam,” he replied.
“How can you be sure?”
Dean looked disgusted. They headed back to the car and Dean slid into the driver’s seat, leaving his brother and the angel to take the passenger seat and rear seat, respectively.
Once they were on their way back to the motel, Dean sighed. “I can’t wait to get this damned costume off. Talk about embarrassing. Did you see the way people were looking at me in there?”
Sam nodded, smirking. “Yes I did. When I spoke with Gary there were a couple girls next to us talking about how great you looked in tights.”
“Gary?”
“My contact.”
“The Tooth Fairy’s name is Gary?”
“Yes.”
Dean shook his head. “Yeah, well, I didn’t see anyone in there do anything but laugh at me. I really doubt anyone thought I looked great in tights.”
“I think you look great in tights,” the angel supplied.
“Er, thanks, Cas,” said Dean, shifting in his seat. “I think.”
“Do you like my wings, Dean?”
Sam grimaced, looking toward the window. This conversation was getting awkward.
“Sure, Cas, your wings are nice.”
“There was a diaper to go with this costume as well,” Castiel explained, leaning forward, “but Sam advised me I would draw too much unwanted attention. That is why I am only wearing the wings and the sandals with the bow and arrow.”
Dean’s eyes widened, suddenly picturing the angel in a diaper. He shuddered. “That was probably a good idea, Cas. It would have been…weird…otherwise.”
“I explained the difference between an angel and a cherub,” Castiel continued. “Sam agreed with me, but the packaging for the costume says it is an angel. Angels do not have such small wings.”
Dean laughed. “Maybe the wings are in direct proportion to…other things.”
“Other things?”
Dean smirked. “Yeah, you know. Certain parts of an angel’s body.”
Castiel considered that for a moment. “If you are referring to genitalia, Dean, I believe I have already explained that angels do not have this. We do not have genders.”
Sam groaned, still facing the passenger window. He couldn’t believe this conversation was taking such a drastic turn. Okay, no, he could believe it; he just wished it could be when he didn’t have to hear it.
“That is not to say that this vessel is not quite well endowed.”
Dean choked on his own spit, gripping the steering wheel tightly as he coughed and attempted to breathe. Jesus Christ.
“Are you alright, Dean?” Castiel asked.
“Yeah,” he squeaked, swallowing and clearing his throat. His eyes were stinging and his damned costume was getting tight again. “I’m fine.”
There was no further conversation until they pulled into the motel parking lot. Dean hurriedly got out of the car, followed by Sam and Castiel. He opened the door to the room and Sam pushed past him, mumbling something about needing to call his friend.
Once inside, Dean threw the keys on the dresser and made a beeline for the clothes piled on his bed. “I’m gonna change.” He then disappeared into the bathroom.
Castiel began removing his costume, placing each item back into the bag where they’d come from. He stroked a hand over the feathers of one of the wings. They really felt nothing like his own.
When Dean returned from the bathroom he was once again wearing jeans and a button down shirt, and he had his costume balled up in his hand. “I’m gonna burn this when I get a chance.”
“You should not,” Castiel told him, frowning.
“Yeah? Why not?”
“I would like to see you wear it at another time.”
Their eyes met across the room and Dean looked away first. He couldn’t hold that stare very long without feeling like the angel was looking into his soul. It was both intense and completely disarming. He tossed the costume in the corner.
“Not going to happen.”
“That is a shame,” Castiel replied.
“I told my friend we met with Gary,” Sam interrupted, not meeting either of their eyes. “She’s…invited me by for the evening.”
Dean’s head spun towards his brother. “So she is more than a friend. Sammy, you dog.”
Sam ignored him, picking up the keys where Dean had tossed them. “I’m taking the car. I’m assuming neither of you is going to need it.”
“I will not,” Castiel confirmed.
When the door closed behind him, Dean and Castiel looked back at each other. Dean was thankful he was no longer wearing the tights.
“So,” he said, his voice gruff, “well endowed, huh?”
~end~
Comments and reviews always welcome and appreciated. ♥