(no subject)
Damned if I let this be the extent of my summer.
Somebody come save me. We'll go someplace nice.
A Sample Conversation With My Grandmother:
Me: Nana, I want to take a ballet class.
Her: *coughs*
Me: Nana? Are you okay?
Her: *coughing continues*
Me: Here, I’ll get you some water-
Her: *coughing is revealed as ill-suppressed hysterical laughter*
Me: Did I MISS something?
Her: You- Dancing- I just- *dissolves into mirth once more*
Me: Why not?
Her: You’re not, well, you know...
Me: WHAT.
Her: Graceful.
Me: ....
Her: Or light. Dancers should be light. You’re rather, well, rather CLUNKY.
Me: ....
Her: Even when you were just walking, I could tell. I’ve seen lots of babies. Most of them are bouncy and all. Just as friendly as anything. You, on the other hand...
Me: Are you saying I’m fat?
Her: No.... But you’re not the floaty-swishy type. Not the pretty type.
Me: Are you saying I’m ugly?
Her: No.... But take your sister, now. Oh, when she was young, she was just the prissiest little thing I ever lay an eye on. Just BEAUTIFUL. She had the prettiest figure. Not like you. Did I tell you about when she-
Me: *multi-syllabic yowl*
Her: I was just trying to have a nice conversation!
(Not trying to shout my troubles from the rooftops - I just thought this was amusing enough to bear recording).