The GLEE Project: Ep. 1 "Individuality"
First episode was epic in the extreme. I don't like reality shows, but after watching this I think I'm willing to ride along- it borders on over exposure for the show, plus I loathe spoilers, but I also adore GLEE. And this is already going to be a long ass summer.
You know, I'm gonna say this flat out- I do NOT understand what's going on with this show. There are maybe 5 folks who are any different from the current cast: the only character I can see them writing is the Irish kid (who I *love* beedubs) because the rest of them might as well be dupes of existing characters.
1.) Hannah (19, NC) = Zises
Facts: She can sing better than Zises, but flat out: From a casting standpoint she's a heavyset redhead and it's been done on this show already. I can't see her joining the cast, and having her replace Lauren after she graduates would be ridiculous. And there is really nothing original about a sweet, funny, fat girl who's slightly insecure.
Plotline: Can't think of one that doesn't make me unhappy.
Callback: PASS
2.) Matheus (19, GA) = Artie
Facts: Whenever I see him, I think of Kevin McHale. The distance between them is a very short line: He's got brown hair, and he's a little person who can dance. Artie has brown hair and is in a wheelchair but he can dance in dream sequences. They can both sing liek whoah. Eh.
Plotline: A very special series of episodes. The kid is 4 ft. tall and not addressing that would be like ignoring the elephant in the room.
Callback: ALTERNATE
3.) McKynleigh (19, KY) = Mercedes/want
Facts: My first impulse is to write her off as the second coming of Mercedes, but on second thought she might make a good new character. She's a halfie from Kentucky who sings country (bluegrass?). The only thing is she's been so... not present so far (ie in the first episode) that I can't "see" her. Maybe next week we will? Until then, lowercase "want". Also, her name annoys me.
Plotline: Mercedes' half sister/cousin from Kiiiiintuckeh transfers to McKynleigh, I mean "McKinley" and Beiste sees her performing at her fave country western bar and tells Will to give her a chance. Or something.
Callback: ALTERNATE
4.) Marissa (19, NY) = S1 Quinn
Facts: She's bitchy, yet still bland, and really hasn't exposed anything of herself beyond the fact that she's a pro at this. But she's boring. She opened the Firework video and just looked... bored. Beautiful, but bored- and therefore boring. I don't want to watch her. I don't care.
Plotline: Anyone evil: Vocal Adrenaline spy, defrocked Cheerio spying for Sue, New Yorker who gets transfered to Lima and basically tries to compete with Rachel or sours her on moving after graduation.
Callback: PASS
5.) Damian (18, IRL) = Finn, but short. And Irish. And wishes he were Jessie's girl.
Facts: He can't dance, he bollocksed up the words to Jessie's Girl (after the first time I watched it I had to mute the tv because it effin' HURT). But even Ulrich said he's got the humor that would fit in with the show, and he gives stuff his all and has a good attitude. Need to work on the dancing, but I thought he did better in the group number than the judges did.
Plotline: ANYTHING. I would watch this kid whether they made him an exchange student or a pathological liar claiming to be Bono's nephew or a rival chorine who woos Quinn.
Callback: YES
6.) Lindsay (19, CA) = RACHEL with shades of Quinn
Facts: She's go a great voice, but judging from the clips of upcoming shows she's a bitch. And I know I shouldn't care what folks are like off camera, but really I do not like this girl and based on this one episode I don't want to see her again, much less watch her on Glee. She's not fun, she's not sweet, and she's a little too close in appearance to Lea Michele to be interesting to me.
Plotline: Another diva? Need that like a hole in the head. Another Vocal Adrenalin-ite.
Callback: PASS
7.) Ellis (18, IL) = white Tina
Facts: She dresses like Rachel but she's got this quirky "I gotta be me!" thing going on that's a lot like Tina. That said, her insecurity about her appearance defines her so completely that as much as I want to like her I feel like I've seen all she's capable and I don't care to see more.
Plotline: Can't think of one that wouldn't make me unhappy. They already did the cute little girl with the big voice thing and Ellis doesn't have that great a voice.
Callback: PASS
8.) Alex (18, MA) = black Kurt
Facts: His confidence is awesome, he's just not really interesting. "Hi, I'm an out and confident kid who can sing liek whoah." BFD, bb. Looking forward to seeing him do Gaga, but his assertion that he should win that number or something's wrong is a turnoff.
Plotline: Mercedes and Kurt grow up, still haven't married (Mercedes has chewed up and spit out so many men she's lost count and Kurt is gay and marriage is still off the table), so she is a surrogate mom for Klaine. Voila. Alex.
Callback: easy ALTERNATE
9.) Emily (22, NY) = Santana LITE
Facts: She flirted with Darren Criss in the most ridonkulous way. Hair-flipping is her talent. Really? She's obviously totally insecure and feels the need to flaunt what she considers her awesomeness, but really it's been done on this show, and well- Naya Rivera, bitches. Lookitup.
Plotline: She's one of Santana's neighbors in Lima Heights Adjacent who gets bussed in because her mother is worried about her (she's had 2 abortions/is on crack/is an alcoholic/owns a low-rider) and decides to join Glee club. Or Santana finds her in a gutter and takes her in.
Callback: NO
10.) Cameron (21, TX) = Finn with a touch of Sam
Facts: Another lanky guy with shaggy hair who can't dance. Wow. I'm so flipping excited I can't speak. And I really loved the way the producers showed him saying he'd kick Hannah off first. Way to make me like him, producers. Clearly they shot the whole show before they edited these episodes, which means I predict Cam going the way of the dodo in the next few eps.
Plotline: He's the kid from the science club who wants to be in Glee. Or maybe Artie sees him dancing to "Canned Heat" in the auditorium after school (Gosh!) and ropes him in. He'll be Brit-Brit's main squeeze.
Callback: NO
11.) Samuel (19, CA) = Puck/Sam
Facts: I like this kid- he's hippie-dippy laid back and has a decent voice and a very unique look. He'd be a good addition to a cast of guys in which the most different is Puck with his mohawk and Artie in his wheelchair. He's also got a touch of Sam's sweetness, which is nice.
Plotline: He meets Puck or Sandy while selling weed and gets convinced to drop back into school? Or he's a kid from the art club who decides he's just gotta sing! Or maybe he's a total straight edger and one of the kids thinks he's on drugs and tries to help him with the power of song.
Callback: YES
12.) Bryce (22, CA) = Different
Facts: Flat out, he was great, but in the video shoot he didn't take direction well. At all. He does look different, and he has a great voice, but yeah- when you're wrangling a bunch of actors the last thing you need is one kid being all up in your grill. Tough luck, B. See you in the funnies.
Plotline: He coulda been a funkified good guy- maybe Puck could have taught him to be edgy? Or maybe he'd be super smooth guy and teach Sam some moves. Or be the guy who gets Karofsy to come out? Shame we'll never know.
Callback: CUT
The weird thing is that they are looking at these kids and picking one who they could write for- one that has an existing character. Except that so many of them just don't have any character as yet. The girls are a really talented bunch, but as of episode one, they have no distinct characters- they're all universally bitchy and full of themselves.
The exit number is "Keep Holdin' On" and if this week was any indication they shot it 12 times: Bryce was cut, so they showed the version where he sang lead. Clever.
Homework: Stevie Wonder's "Signed, Sealed, Delivered"
Guest Judge: Darren Criss
Group Number: Katy Perry's "Firework"
Episode VIP: The actor guy whose camera Alex stole during the group number.
Episode Villain: Zach Woodlee saying "Shut it!" to the (quiet) cast. Nice, producers.
They have the guest judge carry in a slushie and then put it down. Man, it would be so cool if he's thrown it at them.