nightmares
Somewhat on the tailcoats of my last post about identity, I have suddenly begun having meaningful dreams again. Only... they're nightmares. I have had this basic nightmare many times in my adult life for as long as I can remember.
[I'm driving, totally normal speed, totally normal road, and it's usually daytime. The cars in front of me slow down. I go to apply the brakes but something goes wrong and I collide.]
First of all, I understand the main idea is my subconscious saying I am not in control of my life. Or perhaps that life moves on whether I want it to at all or not. This could be me disliking getting older, but more likely its my lack of control over my current ambitions and life goals.
There are some variations:
-Sometimes I'm in town (Gainesville, you know that light just after 13th and archer where you might turn to go to the theater?), and sometimes I'm on the highway (but it always looks flat and marshy like Florida).
>This is probably not so important, but maybe it points to which part I feel out of control about, or how "close to home" it is, or something like that. It could also be a problem with my past since I don't live there anymore.
-The cars slow either because the light changes, someone is turning, or there is a hazard in the road.
(Last night I dreamed that I was driving along the highway and there were suddenly corpses everywhere. People had apparently died mid-action for no reason. A man checking telephone wires was in pieces a short distance from his truck and equipment. Further on, two cars had collided and everyone had been ejected. Some were still alive enough to crawl uselessly in some direction. More and more people were crashing or dying and it wasn't clear why.)
>This is probably pointing to the threatening change I am facing. The light is general change in environment or authority, someone turning is relationship and abandonment matters. The hazard is usually more complicated. I'm not sure what last night's death hazard was about at all....
-The reason I can't apply the breaks:
1)the breaks just don't work.
2)my body has no energy. I literally don't have the strength to depress the break pedal, and usually following I lose the strength to sit upright and just slip down as far as I can while the car crashes.
3)my foot is too big/I can't find the break pedal. I am pressing, there is a working pedal I could find and use anytime now, but noooo... sometimes in this version the car actually accelerates.
>1)I just don't have control, duh. This is usually the least panic-y of the series, so I can steer around for awhile before slowly bumping into something. I think that's a pretty literal metaphor there.
2) again, this seems pretty literal. I don't have enough energy to deal with the problem, it's just going to happen. This is a kind of scary version. I want SO badly to sit up and drive but I just CAN'T.
3)This is the super scary one. I keep trying over and over but my tension is just getting higher and higher. This one... hmm, I just can't handle the situation or I guess I'm making it worse?
Lastly, the crash:
-Sometimes I'm alert enough to swerve around the obstacles but not always. I have crashed into a pole, a car, a person, and a sign. But the thing is that I always crash. Sometimes it's very violent and me or others get hurt, but sometimes no one is hurt at all and the car just comes to rest.
>I guess it's my predicted outcome of the problem?
Anyway, sorry for that. I'm definitely not usually a dream person, but this one just keeps happening night after night =/. Any thoughts?
[I'm driving, totally normal speed, totally normal road, and it's usually daytime. The cars in front of me slow down. I go to apply the brakes but something goes wrong and I collide.]
First of all, I understand the main idea is my subconscious saying I am not in control of my life. Or perhaps that life moves on whether I want it to at all or not. This could be me disliking getting older, but more likely its my lack of control over my current ambitions and life goals.
There are some variations:
-Sometimes I'm in town (Gainesville, you know that light just after 13th and archer where you might turn to go to the theater?), and sometimes I'm on the highway (but it always looks flat and marshy like Florida).
>This is probably not so important, but maybe it points to which part I feel out of control about, or how "close to home" it is, or something like that. It could also be a problem with my past since I don't live there anymore.
-The cars slow either because the light changes, someone is turning, or there is a hazard in the road.
(Last night I dreamed that I was driving along the highway and there were suddenly corpses everywhere. People had apparently died mid-action for no reason. A man checking telephone wires was in pieces a short distance from his truck and equipment. Further on, two cars had collided and everyone had been ejected. Some were still alive enough to crawl uselessly in some direction. More and more people were crashing or dying and it wasn't clear why.)
>This is probably pointing to the threatening change I am facing. The light is general change in environment or authority, someone turning is relationship and abandonment matters. The hazard is usually more complicated. I'm not sure what last night's death hazard was about at all....
-The reason I can't apply the breaks:
1)the breaks just don't work.
2)my body has no energy. I literally don't have the strength to depress the break pedal, and usually following I lose the strength to sit upright and just slip down as far as I can while the car crashes.
3)my foot is too big/I can't find the break pedal. I am pressing, there is a working pedal I could find and use anytime now, but noooo... sometimes in this version the car actually accelerates.
>1)I just don't have control, duh. This is usually the least panic-y of the series, so I can steer around for awhile before slowly bumping into something. I think that's a pretty literal metaphor there.
2) again, this seems pretty literal. I don't have enough energy to deal with the problem, it's just going to happen. This is a kind of scary version. I want SO badly to sit up and drive but I just CAN'T.
3)This is the super scary one. I keep trying over and over but my tension is just getting higher and higher. This one... hmm, I just can't handle the situation or I guess I'm making it worse?
Lastly, the crash:
-Sometimes I'm alert enough to swerve around the obstacles but not always. I have crashed into a pole, a car, a person, and a sign. But the thing is that I always crash. Sometimes it's very violent and me or others get hurt, but sometimes no one is hurt at all and the car just comes to rest.
>I guess it's my predicted outcome of the problem?
Anyway, sorry for that. I'm definitely not usually a dream person, but this one just keeps happening night after night =/. Any thoughts?