From This Election Comes Serpe's Thoughts, Jokes, and Hope.
Reasons George W. Bush’s Reelection Won’t Affect Me, Michael Serpe
(I Can’t Really Speak for Anyone Else)
1. Due to scoliosis, I will never have to serve in the armed forces, ever. So on the slight chance that there is a draft, and they pick people born on August 28th, I still won’t have to go to whichever country we are attacking this week. And I will never have to fear being branded a traitor or coward. Because for all they know, my spirit was willing, but my flesh (or spine in this case) was weak.
2. Any damage the Bush administration does to the environment will only affect my great-grandchildren. And in all honesty: Fuck them.
3. The Patriot Act won’t have anything on me, because I never go to libraries anyway. And I generally keep my political opinions to myself, so deportation is unlikely, i.e. Cat Stevens. (On a side note, I wasn’t surprised about the whole Cat Stevens debacle. The thing is, Cat Stevens is indeed a terrorist; he’s been launching attacks at the US for decades using the worst weapon of all. Not box cutters, guns or dirty bombs. His weapon? Really crappy music.)
4. I have no intention of marrying a man, ever. And Bush’s planned amendment against gay marriage only means that I won’t have to rent tuxes for my gay friend’s weddings. So thanks for saving me $300 Dubya.
5. Any medical benefits that could possibly come from stem cell research, after development and FDA testing, will have no effect on my getting Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s. Both diseases are in my genetic disposition. And there is very little chance that they will be able to find a cure for either, let alone both, by the time I reach the prime age for them. Yet another issue that will affect the future generations, which I am not a part of.
6. I’m just about done with my college education. So any adjustments in tuition will be unlikely to affect me. And frankly I believe that some children should be left behind. Particularly children from, well, lets just say children whose necks are a tad redder than most.
7. As a man, I have no say on the abortion issue, as all men should concede. While I do support abortion, especially when done at random, and particularly to the individuals mentioned in #6, we must remember that this list is about how Bush’s 2nd term will affect ME, Michael Serpe. And for obvious biological reasons, it is unlikely that I will be in the market for an abortion anytime now. Do not take this for gender-based insensitivity on my part, because I know that the decision of abortion is one that changes any woman’s life forever, and is one of the hardest choices a woman will ever have to make.
8. On a more personal note, I never really gave a shit about tax breaks for the wealthiest 2 percent or whatever. Maybe this is due to my larger problem: I do no know the value of a dollar. And this is certainly not Bush's fault. Its no one's but my own. If those wealthy 2 percent were to be taxed more so than our ratio, they would take it out on the employees of their companies. Such as "no Christmas Bonus' this year." So maybe no tax cuts are best, I really don't care, so long as they don't take too much of my hard earned money. And on a side note, ever since I started working, from day 1, I have assumed that I will never see my social security money ever again. So by the time I would be in the market for it, I will have saved up enough money on my own to sustain me. Unless of course I get Alzheimer’s, in which case I won't remember my bank account number anyway, and that will be no one's fault but my own.
9. Maybe this is wishful thinking on my part, but in the event of the Rapture, which some say Bush is trying to put into effect. My records pretty clean as far as all things sin go. I'll admit that I'm not perfect. But I'm certainly not worse than many people, which should leave the apocalypse preoccupied. I'm currently running though the commandments, trying to figure out what I've broken, and I'm only coming up wth 3 broken. The one about the neighbor's wife, (because sometimes, people just don't say they're married, like Janet Jackson did for like 3 years), coveting neighbor's possesions (but when you think about it, thats what capitalism is based on, "hey that guys got a nice pair of Nikes, i want those") and taking the Lord's name in vain, which I have been trying to cut back on anyway, replacing "God" with "Gah"
So whats the point of this? More or less, its the same point Kevin made earlier today. People need to stop bitching about Bush's victory. I've said it all year. This was by no means "the most important election of our time." What people need to understand is, that every election is equally important. There are very few new issues from election to election. The state of the nation has always been riding on each election. What separated this election from others was the increased voter turnout. Now, it can be said that the intellegence of said voters might have decreased. But history will decide that for us.
I started this list on monday, because I kinda knew this was coming. I hoped that it wasn't the case, but as they say "hope for the best, prepare for the worst." I however, do not see this as the worst case scenario, as we have to remember that few things in our government are built to last. That meaning, that if our president makes decisions that are vastly opposed, the next president has the option of fixing these problems. Thats why they made the constitution so adaptable. Because the needs of our nation change. And yes, I'm not so stupid as not to realize that there are issuse that have to be worked on immediatley, such as the environment. Maybe I'm inclined to find the silver lining in every cloud, but one of the first things that I thought was "wow, this should make for some great art", I mean look at how our culture and pop-culture have been affected, it should make for some interesting times. Of course, it is beyond unfortunate that this art will be created as we lose soldiers and jobs, but hey, the American people did make a choice. I made this list to demonstrate that people sometimes need to look out for themselves, instead of being so quick to throw away their needs for acceptance. Maybe there are levels of irony here that only I'm getting because I stayed up till 4 to watch CNN's election coverage.
If anyone was bothered or offended by this, you really need something better to do.
Thank you so much for clicking and for reading. I do hope that you didn't just skim this, because in my opinion, somewhere between the jokes, I've made a couple good points. I'll leave with this:
America is a nation built on change and uncertainty. I think liberals and conservatives alike can all agree that despite its flaws, and there are many, that this is still a great country. It is this uncertainty that allows us to hear out both sides of an issue. Like it or not, the American people did vote for Bush, and no lj entry or away message is going to change that. God willing, this will spark a trend in increased voter turnouts and political awareness. This was not the most important election of our time, but it was the first that generated such powerful displays of passion on both sides. Now the healing begins. Liberals, don't be hesitant to sit next to a Conservative in the lunchroom. Conservates, don't refuse outright to go out for a beer with a Liberal. Friendships, relationships, and family ties should never, ever be torn apart by politics. Ours is a nation built on disagreement and debate. Intellectual stimulation is a very good cornerstone. While our love for what this land was created to stand for - liberty, justice, freedom - should shine all the clearer. For those who think that Bush's reelection marks the end of civilization, there are many more positive things you can do locally to reverse this, neighborhood cleanups, writing your congressmen, and staying aware and informed. Yes, these are dangerous times, but we will brave them together as a county, whether we want to, or not. Thank you once again for reading, (I can't believe I'm going to say this) and God Bless America.