I came to the conclusion that Brittany had to do what she had to do in order to better her situation. But now I truely don't believe that. Perhaps she did have to better her situation but she didn't have to leave the way she did. She's seriously stopped talking to me altogether. So maybe what I said previously about me not meaning as much to ( Read more... )

WOW! So today was a great day! Brittany just up and left me today. After not talking to me for a couple of days since Ashley got back I found out today from someone else that she dropped out of school. SHe's enrolling in South Houston and living in Pasadena with AShley. For some strange reason she felt the obligation to text message me that but ( Read more... )

Previously I was going through a faze where I thought I wasn't good enough for my friends, for my girlfriend, for anyone. And then in kinda turned around and I began to think they didn't really care about me. No one noticed what was going on in my little fucked up head. I mean I was looking into their eyes screaming for help and no one noticed, ( Read more... )

My feelings from my last entry have just grown stronger, yet have also taken a slight turn. I am very secure in my relationship with Erica, although I may not understand what exactly it is she sees in me, I know she definately does see something in me and without a doubt wants to spend the rest of her life with me. It's a wonderful feelings to ( Read more... )

Sometimes I wonder if I'm living my life the right way... if I'm actually going to make something of myself... if I'm as great as my family, girlfriend, and friends claim. Perhaps they just tell me those things so I can hold myself together. When I look at myself I see nothing special, nothing amazing. I see a girl who will never grow up, will ( Read more... )

I've been in a really weird/ different than normal mood since last night or evening. All I can keep thinking about is getting down with school, getting through with college, getting my truck and my house, and being able to rely on myself. I don't know why that's all I'm thinking about, I mean I know it's a long time away. I guess I'm just ready ( Read more... )

I'm so fucking stressed out from school. We got a new schedule this year and so now all my teachers are trying to fit 1hr. and 40mins. of class into 50mins. and it is just not working. Everyday my entire day is spent doing homework assignment after homework assignment, it's driving me insane. I barely have anytime to see my friends and my ( Read more... )

Today during school I was having a conversation with my friends, Dirk and Justin, two of the coolest guys I have ever met, wonderful guys. We were talking about the whole gay thing because Dirk brought it up and he said some stuff that made me feel just flat out awesome. He told me that before I came to this school gays were looked down upon, it ( Read more... )

So Erica and I have began to work things out... last weekend I stayed at her house all weekend and I seriously thought things were getting better, better than they had ever been before. Life at the apartment with all my friends and some so-called friends couldn't be more complicated, but I was at least a little satisfied because i thought things ( Read more... )

As if my episode last weekend wasn't enough, I decided to keep everything going. My friends and I all went out to Rainbow, with plans of getting totally shit-faced, well I'd like to say I was just a little more successful than others. I decided to fall asleep on the toilet seat, what a beautiful view huh? Liz (thank you so much for our bonding ( Read more... )