Lily and Horatio
God, she was kissing him again, kissing her partner. They shouldn’t do this. There were a million reasons against it. He had just ended things with Tim. Granted, it had been years since he’d last seen Tim in that romantic sense-and Tim had moved on to someone else-but that never really meant the end of anything. Not until you heard the words, or said them yourself.
She’d never said those final words to Warrick, and he’d never said them to her. Not even after the emotional mess they had made in this very apartment not more than two weeks ago.
But he’d said them to Tim. The look on the other man’s face had been proof enough.
And now he stood in her kitchen, his hands cupping her face, her arms wrapped around his waist. Their lips locked together as if they couldn’t get enough.
Said there’d be no going back
Promised myself I’d never be that sad
Maybe that’s why you’ve come along
To show me it’s not always bad
Cause I can feel it, baby
I feel like I’m falling for you
But I’m scared to let go
I’m scared cause my heart has been hurt so
It was good. God, it was so good. His kiss was so different from Warrick’s, so clean of negative emotions and past entanglements. Maybe that’s why he tasted like purity to her, because there weren’t any of her mistakes to taint the feel and taste of his lips. That would change, she knew. Eventually she’d drive him away like she did everyone. Eventually it would be Horatio that stood in this apartment instead of Warrick, taking the packed boxes from her hands and slinging them across the room even as she tried to place them in order for the movers.
He’d stare at her with contempt and frustration in his blue, blue eyes. He’d speak to her in that hard voice he’d used on Tim. And inside, she’d die again. Over and over, an endless cycle of hurt and wrongs that she caused everyone in her life. Scotty had stared at her like that, too, when she’d left Philly. He’d tried to tell her to stay, to let things happen between them.
But it was too late by then. She’d accepted the post in Vegas. And he’d already slept with her sister.
It’s true I’ve become a skeptic
How many couples really know
Just wish I had a crystal ball
To show me if it’s worth it all
Cause I can feel it, baby
I feel like I’m falling for you
But I’m scared to let go
I’m scared cause my heart has been hurt so
So why was she doing this now? Why was she letting his hands travel down her neck, her shoulders as his lips made quick and exquisite work of her throat, bringing a delicious rush of shivers and gasps from her mouth. She shouldn’t let her hands finish with the buttons on his shirt, shouldn’t pull him closer until she was braced between his body and the counter.
Shouldn’t. Wouldn’t. Couldn’t. Three words that meant the world. Three words she was going to ignore yet again.
Because she needed this. She needed him like she needed Warrick. She was burning out, she knew. She was focused so hard on work that she was going to snap, going to forget to be human and just… snap. Lily knew the signs. If she didn’t find a reason to exist outside of work, she was going to be one of those cops that ate their gun one night after shift. Or worse, she’d be discharged in disgrace as a headcase.
That couldn’t happen. And if it meant that she had to leave a long trail of men that hated her in her wake, then so be it. She’d take these moments, like this one here in her kitchen, and let that warm her later when Horatio’s eyes eventually turned to ice on her. The way Warrick’s had when he’d stormed out of her house.
I’ve got to be sure
Cause it’s been so long
And I cannot take the pain again
If it all goes wrong
Cause I can feel it, baby
I feel like I’m falling for you
But I’m scared to let go
I’m scared cause my heart has been hurt so
Burning inside… she was burning up inside, the fire growing hotter with each sweep of his lips, each caress of fingers and palm along her skin. Could they stay partners after this, she wondered. Would he refer to her as Lil while at work, keep his eyes dispassionate and his voice cool? She could, she knew. She could hide it well, ignore the need to touch him when they were by themselves. She’d become adept at riding in the elevator alone with him without reaching over for a stolen caress.
She could be the job. She’d let the badge decide that. When she wore it, she was his partner. When the badge came off…
Then what? Call herself his girl? Was she getting too far ahead of herself again? Sex could be just sex. A kiss could be a kiss. Coffee after almost shooting your partner’s ex-lover could be just … Okay, that couldn’t be just anything. She’d been willing to shoot the son of a bitch if he so much as lifted a finger towards Horatio in that garage. Was that just being a good partner, or was that something else entirely?
His lips shifted again, working slowly down her neck. His hips pressed against hers, her legs parting of their own accord in response… and all coherent thought fled at the feel of his arousal through their clothes.
Yeah I can feel it, baby
I feel like I’m falling for you
But I’m scared to let go
I’m scared cause my heart has been hurt so