What If...?
TITLE : What If...?
AUTHOR : Lilies_009
LENGTH : Chaptered
PAIRING : YooSu (hint Yunjae)
GENRE : Slash/Romance/Angst/violence
RATING : NC-17
CHAPTERS :: Prol 001 002 003
Chapter 4
Inseparable
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I lay almost lifeless on the ground, I was right…
***
As I stepped in I immediately felt a hard tag on my hair pulling me forcefully and slamming my body into the couch. I stared at him as I tremble from pain and fear.
I refuse to scream or cry hard since it will only make him hit me more. What is it this time? didn’t he had enough of me a little earlier after he hit me countless of times just because I forgot to re-heat his food for dinner? Or is it because I decided to have a walk without telling him? or just because he just feels like hitting me this time?
I scrambled off the couch as I saw him lifting his hand again but I know running away and avoiding his fist isn’t an option anymore. So I stayed…. I could literally feel my skin tore apart the minute a one hard slap landed on my face. I closed my eyes trying to ignore the pain as tears suddenly kept pouring out of me.
I did not dare beg him to stop... doing so is pointless anyway. Yanking my hair to let me stand up he then lead me to our bedroom and throw me into the bed. instinctively I curled up hugging myself, it’s the best thing that I can do, it’s the only protection I can give to my weak and poor body.
He pushed me into the bed as he sat on top of me… trapping me in between his legs. I was not surprise at all. This is like a replay of what’s happening every time he’s drunk or in drugs or whenever he felt jealous or when he just feel s like hitting me.
I felt another blow hitting me on my stomach…. I gasp and cough for air just because the pain is just too unbearable, as I struggle to keep breathing. At some point I thought not breathing at all could help, you know, just to end all of my misery
I let him beat me for a while because I know he’ll stop any minute from now. Just like every time he does. And just like I predicted he did. His rage turned to lust as he started kissing me. I did not dare to kiss him back.. why should I? I am his wife and is living with him but it was never because I love him.
I felt his hard hand starting to become soft as he takes me. I didn’t push him away. I am to weak and is literally lifeless. So I lay there like a zombie and let him take me and have him release everything as usual.
I may be feeling dead but I could still feel all the pain. I could still feel rage and anger. I am still a human after all. I was helping myself to ease the pain by forcing myself to think and imagine things just to get my mind off to what exactly is happening.
....................“Chunnie? How are you? did you know that Tammy grew so much?”
Thinking of the only man I love definitely help me to survive from all these for the past 5 years. It has been my routine to think of him every time something like this happens.
....................“will I ever have a chance to see you again?”
I smiled as I remember the time when we both dance under the rain.
.................“Will I ever have a chance to see you smile for me again?”
A grin crept into my lips as I remember the day when we made love in an empty football felid.
.................. “Will I ever have a chance to ask for forgiveness?”
A tear fell from my eyes as I remember the night that I lied about me not loving him
.................. “Will I ever have the chance to say how much I love you?”
I closed my eyes as I remembered the day he chose to not listen to me
.................. “Will I ever have a chance to explain everything?”
I sobbed as I remembered the day he decided to end everything between us.
.................. “Will I ever have a chance to hear you say you love me again?”
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[Yoochun's POV]
It was definitely a long day for me. I felt my butt being flat and is hurting from sitting the whole day listening to the usual boring business speech given by about more or less one hundred different representatives of different companies all over Korea.
After being inside that hall full of serious men and women I decided to go out and grab a drink or something.
After changing from the usual black business suit to the normal casual wear which basically compose of a good old pair of Evisu tattered jeans, a grey v neck shirt a black favorite gucci jacket and a white baseball cap I happily drive around the City and looked for a good place to kill time.
I laughed at my self…. How can a good looking 27 years old bachelor be in here ALONE drinking just to get him self to sleep later? I manage to throw a few glances and smiles on some girls in the club. But I obviously didn’t want to hit on any of them.
I was in the middle of being normal and tipsy when I was bump by someone resulting my whiskey to spill over my jeans.
“Aisshh SHIT!”
“Sorry!” the stranger said coldly without even looking at me. He was actually busy groping on another guy
I was kind of pissed off and drunk so I yelled “ YA!” I shouted to get his attention apparently he did… he turn around and looked at me!
“PARK YOOCHUN!?”
“HANKYUNG!?”
We blurted out almost at the same time… it was kind of funny to see him again in a club like this. “Ya! You haven’t changed a bit huh? I thought You’re married?” I said blatantly eyeing down the guy beside him. I know this is one of my ways to pissed him off… After all we were best buds in high school and college
“Ya! Will you shut up! I’m not…..” he wanted to defend him self and actually deny everything… but of course I didn’t know either if he’s married or not. But the boy he’s with frowned and left that instance.
I chuckled after seeing Hankyung’s desperate eyes.
“Park Yoochun! Have you realized that you just lost me a good date!?”
“yeah!? But I really thought that you are married.. Omo? You’re not?” I grinned
“Aish you never change!” he manage to give me a light punch on my shoulder before sitting beside me as he ask the bar tender for a whiskey
“So are you!” I mumbled and laugh
**
The whole night unexpectedly turned out pretty fun. Hankyung manage to get a hold of our former friends. Changmin came with kyuhyun , his high school boyfriend. Kangin barely made it when his wife Leeteuk found out that he’s sneaking out from their house. Yunho came in with his boyfriend who surprisingly turned out to be his swear enemy Jaejoong during college. Of course Yunho get a pretty good whack from his fiancée Heechul after I told him that Hankyung has been hanging out with a guy just an hour ago.
It felt really amazing seeing them and being with them again. it was like the good ol’ times. I took a deep breath as I remembered him and everything that happened.
Here are my friends… unexpectedly having relationships with the persons they’re most unlikely fall in love with.
I remember …….Changmin and Kyu’s break up during high school. It was like they will never get to forgive each other
Hankyung’s fiancee’s Heechul hated his arrogance and playboy ~ ness. he hated him and they will always end up bickering in our college hallway. I remember him swearing that no matter what happens he will never fall for someone like heechul. Or maybe he was too afraid to fall for him since he’ll end up being beaten to death with his quite strong and stubborn fist and sharp tongue.
Kangin? His wife Leeteuk? Well I know that they’ve always liked each other ever since high school. Only that they’re too shy to speak to each other. I didn’t know they’ll be the first one to get married either.
While Yunho…. Who the fu^ck would have thought that he’ll end up with Jaejoong? When all they did in college were to get into each other’s nerves. Sometimes Yunho will get in the class with a black eye after Jae would apply his Muay Thai moves on him. Sometimes Jae will end up yelling at the corridors after Yunho played a prank on him.
And me?? Who would have thought that the most inseparable couple during grade school, high school and college would end up like this? Who would have thought that I’ll end up HATING the guy that I loved for almost my entire life?
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