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May 10, 2016 00:41

Good grief... I was going to start posting more and then look what happens---weeks pass and I've neglected to post at all ( Read more... )

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cairistiona7 May 10 2016, 10:33:24 UTC
That's wonderful and sad, both, about your oldest brother. Sad that he went for so many years without staying close, and sad that his marriage ended... but it is wonderful that he's back in touch. I would think it might have been difficult for him to reach out after being all but estranged. I'm glad you had a good visit with him. It also makes me wish that things were better between my husband his sister. They recently moved somewhere nearby--we have the same zip code--but they've never told us where, never have invited us to their house... she likes my posts on FB and I hers, but it never goes beyond that. I don't *think* it was anything we did or said; there's tension between her and their dad and I imagine it springs from that, somehow. They've just withdrawn from everyone except their own nuclear family. Probably not personal but just... sad ( ... )

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lilybaggins May 13 2016, 02:14:30 UTC
That story of your SIL is sad---I hope it changes. It's common in families, I think, but still---I can't imagine they haven't even let you know where they live. Do they have kids? It seems like they'd want Dink and their children to get to know each other. But then... I only see my cousins at funerals, it seems like.

*hugs*

Oh yes---and I was reminded by Elwen that The Hobbit mentions coffee! I haven't read TH in so many years (uh, since fifth grade...) I didn't even remember!

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cairistiona7 May 13 2016, 13:34:00 UTC
They do have kids... 2 biological sons and a slew of adopted sons (they were a foster family for years and years, taking in troubled teenage boys). So in some ways it wasn't the easiest way to get the cousins together, because when Dink was little, all her cousins were teenagers. Then when she became a teen, they were winding down that phase of their lives and the boys were all off to college, etc. Plus, her being a girl, and all of them being boys, many of whom were troubled, it just wasn't ideal to get together ( ... )

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lilybaggins June 2 2016, 06:11:43 UTC
Shoot, I don't mind the venting at all. It sounds to me like they're a fairly selfish, close-minded couple who are mostly concerned with themselves. I know the type---my sister's in-laws are exactly like that. They HAVE to be the center of attention, all the time ( ... )

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elwenlj May 10 2016, 11:07:53 UTC
In An Unexpected Party - The Hobbit, passing mention is made of coffee.

"Some called for ale, and some for porter, and one for coffee . . ."

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claudia603 May 10 2016, 11:15:03 UTC
Yes! I knew coffee was mentioned in LOTR somewhere!

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lilybaggins May 13 2016, 02:14:57 UTC
Oh, that's great---yes! I like knowing that. I haven't read The Hobbit since fifth grade!!!

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claudia603 May 10 2016, 11:14:26 UTC
*waves*

I can totally picture hobbits drinking coffee. *nods*

That's really nice about your older brother getting closer to you guys. So sorry again about your middle brother. My mom is going through something similiar (she's the oldest, but a few summers ago her brother passed away), and now the other siblings have gotten closer as a result.

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lilybaggins May 13 2016, 02:16:23 UTC
I don't like death, as a rule... but having someone pass unexpectedly, I've decided, is much worse AFTER than knowing it's coming and being prepared. However, the part leading up to it is so bad, when someone is dying, that maybe I'd still rather everyone go without my knowing beforehand.

*HUGS*

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baranduin May 10 2016, 12:25:03 UTC
That must have been really hard for him to make the call to you. I'm so glad you answered.

Thinking really good thoughts for all of you. Life is effing weird, isn't it?

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lilybaggins May 13 2016, 02:17:04 UTC
Life makes no sense... no sense at all.

We were surprised---I just hope he does make good on his talk and we do see each other more in the future now.

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shirebound May 10 2016, 15:09:54 UTC
although we'll never forget his alienation, we've forgiven him for it and can look past it.

The same thing happened with my father. His second wife was a bit jealous of his first (my mom), and we didn't see my dad as much as before. His mother also became more distant. When the second wife passed away, the family became as close as before.

There's coffee mentioned in The Hobbit, so Bilbo (or more likely the Dwarves, who ask for it more than once) might have been quite the lover of the bean!

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lilybaggins May 13 2016, 02:18:59 UTC
Elwen also reminded me about coffee in The Hobbit---I haven't read it in decades and did not remember! I also haven't really read any fanfic with hobbits drinking coffee.

It seems to be really common in families... and I've seen that the divorce usually happens after the kids are grown and getting married, moving away, etc. I'm glad your family is close again.

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