So...I saw Ponyo on Sunday
and I have thoughts on it, you know I have.
OK, first of all it was a very pretty cartoon. The animation was excellent and the images were stunning. And I know cartoons are supposed to be simplistic and enjoyed on a less logical level.
However, this story had several logistical points that bothered me.
- First and foremost, the two main characters are five years old. Normally this is not a problem. But when you are basically re-telling the story of The Little Mermaid, complete with love at first site, and only being able to remain human if said love interest will accept and love her for who she is...WTF? They're five, and this little boy is to pledge eternal devotion to her? And turn her human by kissing her, or she'll be sea foam? Five, people, FIVE.
- Continuing with the five year old problem, what is WRONG with that child's mother?! That is one of the flakiest to the point of being unfit to be a mother people I've seen. She drives like a maniac, when told not to cross a bridge due to flooding/imminent death by passing ship, she risks the life of her son by doing it ANYWAY just to get home, even though an alternate route was available. When faced with disappointment at her husband not coming home when he said he would, she completely loses her shit and throws a full-on tantrum, with her son being the mature one to comfort her. Nice example, way to put on a brave face. And worst of all, with a huge torrential storm raging outside, she decides to leave two five year olds home alone to brave the flooded roads because she's worried about the old ladies she cares for. Wonderful priorities. But it's all OK because "she promises to come back" and "I know you're only five, but you're so mature." Well he doesn't get it from you lady.
I thought it strange that she so easily accepted that this little girl she picked up on the road was a magical fish turned child. Not one moment of...surely this is a real girl? where are her parents?
I think many of my issues with this movie would have been allayed if they were teenagers and not little kids.
- Ponyo's little sisters kinda weirded me out. For a long time you didn't know who they were, they were just a whole school of small ponyos, that she was trying to hide from her father. I was like, are these supposed to be the children of this little girl? Then when it came out they were her sisters, why is she the only one who's bigger? Did her dad and goddess mother have one, then decided they liked her so much they had a school of them? But no matter, they were very handy being her minions.
I wouldn't have minded a little more back story on her father. So, he used to be human? And now he controls the balance of nature, lives in the sea and drinks "elixirs?" Interesting...
- OK, so the whole town was engulfed in water overnight. Normally this would be a bad, tragic thing. What, no one died during this? Apparently no worries, just time to boat around looking at the ancient fish strolling the streets.
- I know it was supposed to be funny, but Ponyo herself was a little annoying. She only said a few words and they were all spoken LOUDLY and ENTHUSIASTICALLY, like she was a little MENTALLY CHALLENGED. when she wasn't spitting water in people's faces to either express affection or dislike.
- and finally... it was just so simple. There was no real conflict. Ponyo never had one moment where she doubted that she wanted to give up magic and her home for human life. The little boy never had one doubt that he loved ponyo and would be with her forever. The Dad was all freaked out because his little girl wanted to become human and the earth's balance was all out of whack, but one "eh, it'll be fine" from her mother, and it was. It was just lalala life is peachy oh look some rain, the end.
So, that's it ^_^ Maybe I'm too cynical for movies like this, but too many things just did not make sense.
In conclusion: HAM!!!
OK, first of all it was a very pretty cartoon. The animation was excellent and the images were stunning. And I know cartoons are supposed to be simplistic and enjoyed on a less logical level.
However, this story had several logistical points that bothered me.
- First and foremost, the two main characters are five years old. Normally this is not a problem. But when you are basically re-telling the story of The Little Mermaid, complete with love at first site, and only being able to remain human if said love interest will accept and love her for who she is...WTF? They're five, and this little boy is to pledge eternal devotion to her? And turn her human by kissing her, or she'll be sea foam? Five, people, FIVE.
- Continuing with the five year old problem, what is WRONG with that child's mother?! That is one of the flakiest to the point of being unfit to be a mother people I've seen. She drives like a maniac, when told not to cross a bridge due to flooding/imminent death by passing ship, she risks the life of her son by doing it ANYWAY just to get home, even though an alternate route was available. When faced with disappointment at her husband not coming home when he said he would, she completely loses her shit and throws a full-on tantrum, with her son being the mature one to comfort her. Nice example, way to put on a brave face. And worst of all, with a huge torrential storm raging outside, she decides to leave two five year olds home alone to brave the flooded roads because she's worried about the old ladies she cares for. Wonderful priorities. But it's all OK because "she promises to come back" and "I know you're only five, but you're so mature." Well he doesn't get it from you lady.
I thought it strange that she so easily accepted that this little girl she picked up on the road was a magical fish turned child. Not one moment of...surely this is a real girl? where are her parents?
I think many of my issues with this movie would have been allayed if they were teenagers and not little kids.
- Ponyo's little sisters kinda weirded me out. For a long time you didn't know who they were, they were just a whole school of small ponyos, that she was trying to hide from her father. I was like, are these supposed to be the children of this little girl? Then when it came out they were her sisters, why is she the only one who's bigger? Did her dad and goddess mother have one, then decided they liked her so much they had a school of them? But no matter, they were very handy being her minions.
I wouldn't have minded a little more back story on her father. So, he used to be human? And now he controls the balance of nature, lives in the sea and drinks "elixirs?" Interesting...
- OK, so the whole town was engulfed in water overnight. Normally this would be a bad, tragic thing. What, no one died during this? Apparently no worries, just time to boat around looking at the ancient fish strolling the streets.
- I know it was supposed to be funny, but Ponyo herself was a little annoying. She only said a few words and they were all spoken LOUDLY and ENTHUSIASTICALLY, like she was a little MENTALLY CHALLENGED. when she wasn't spitting water in people's faces to either express affection or dislike.
- and finally... it was just so simple. There was no real conflict. Ponyo never had one moment where she doubted that she wanted to give up magic and her home for human life. The little boy never had one doubt that he loved ponyo and would be with her forever. The Dad was all freaked out because his little girl wanted to become human and the earth's balance was all out of whack, but one "eh, it'll be fine" from her mother, and it was. It was just lalala life is peachy oh look some rain, the end.
So, that's it ^_^ Maybe I'm too cynical for movies like this, but too many things just did not make sense.
In conclusion: HAM!!!