A FML of the highest order
I guess I'm feeling pretty down on myself today.
It just seems like I can't muster the motivation to get up and do anything because even when I'm putting forth my best effort, some asshole comes along and forces everything backwards.
Yes, I am talking about a specific event. No, you don't need to know what it is if you don't already.
I guess it just pisses me off. Everything is pissing me off recently. Rather, everything is pissing me off with how deceptively easy it looks and then it turns out to be a pain in the ass. My dad is constantly bitching at me to get back into school. Okay. Well. I'm trying. Unfortunately, Dad refuses to understand that I have to WAIT for confirmation from financial aid before I go register or else it's all out of his pocket. Is that good enough? No. Refusal-to-understand-go-register-for-classes. He still doesn't understand even when I point out to him that if I went to go register NOW, he'd have to pay immediately.
"But you have financial aid."
Not yet I don't. And it's mostly because you couldn't be fucked to give me your paperwork so I could fill it out and couldn't be damned to sign the thing electronically so here I am technically TWO MONTHS PAST THE DEADLINE, praying I can get in because I fucking KNOW if I don't get in this semester, you'll automatically blame me and start bitching about how I'll get kicked off the health insurance. IT ISN'T MY FAULT, GODDAMNIT. WE HAD NO MONEY FOR ME TO GO TO SCHOOL FOR THE PAST YEAR BECAUSE YOU KEPT PULLING THIS PUSHING ME OFF BULLSHIT AND SPENDING ALL YOUR TIME IN THE GODDAMNED BAR WASTING MONEY ON THE SLOTS.
But I'm hoping everything will sort itself out. I can always just...trick my dad into thinking I'm there all day, take one class (and call the fees for it book money) and then wait until my financial aid rolls in next semester BUT I'D RATHER NOT.
Aaaaaand about Wife. Where do I begin.
I had a huge thing for Wife for...well, basically since the very second I saw her, but that's lame and cheesy and cliché and I get embarrassed admitting it. But it was fun. I am sort of a strange person; I've never had a crush on anyone before before in my entire life, so this was definitely new.
Cue MTAC (affectionately rechristened Floodcon 2010). I went with Pam and was blindsided into dragging along 5 other high-maintenance creepy jailbaits (I am serious. These girls were so creepy) into driving up to Nashville for MTAC. To be honest, I wasn't expecting much. And there really wasn't much. The raining had sort of killed the con preemptively, but I was looking forward to hanging out with the few people I did know there and we got derpy and decided to use our hotel room for a ghetto-made spaghetti party. I was sent up to the next hotel parking lot to pick up the other...like...nine people coming to our room with my van.
And Wife was there waiting with them.
But I guess neither of us was exactly expecting the other. It was one of those weird movie moments where you sit there staring at each other while everyone else continues loading up into the car. She ran forward, grabbed my face, and kept saying "you're here, you're here" over and over and I kind of felt like I maybe could've died right there (LAME CLICHÉS AHOY).
Anyway, the weekend continued on and it was...sort of a bit agonizing, but there was nothing really to be done about it. Mostly because I'm a horrid coward. XD But the rain kept coming down and all of Nashville flooded. Which meant the roads were closed.
...which meant we couldn't get back to Georgia (aka get the creepers as far away as possible).
The room that we (the creepers and Pam and myself) had booked was paid for and we left to go stay the night with all our friends at the main hotel.
Read that as cram into another hotel room with 18 other people. Awkward night was awkward.
But the next day, everyone except for the Georgia crew and Wife was able to leave. Her guy friend came to stay with us, and he was a nice guy, if a bit shy. The next day, the roads were still closed. I had to go move my car from the hotel lot down to the free lot to make room for emergency vehicles.
I was driving through at least a foot of water and my car threw its fanbelt. Which basically meant I had to have it towed to the nearest auto repair shop and hope they could get around to it decently soon.
The creeper children called their parents to tell them of this news and of couuuuurse I GOT BITCHED AT BECAUSE I AM NOT JESUS AND AM THEREFORE UNABLE TO SAVE MY CAR VIA MIRACLE. But it ended up that one of the girls' parents was able to make it through to come pick them all up except for Creeper Leader One (but we managed to shun her pretty well for the rest of the weekend).
But I guess that's all TMI. My point really is that I spent days upon days in close contact with Wife, it was agonizing, it was so fun, and I completely borked my wee heart over her. So it was completely terrible to have to go home knowing I probably wouldn't see her again until September.
After MTAC, we kept in good contact through facebook and text messaging and such. But I was still pretty miserable about the whole thing. :'D Oh well, such is the fate of those who fall for people who live far away.
Thus, AWA began its approach! Kaj began planning to come down for it (I am SUPERTHRILLED for that, by the way) aaaaand I decided to go to the ball. On a whim, I sent Wife a text message derpily asking if she would be my date. I was completely shocked (...take that as you will. Okay, fine, I was totally out of my head in glee) when she sent back a really happy affirmative.
Things continued on in some sort of weird dimension of semi-flirting. (And India wouldn't stop "D'AWWWWWWW"ing at me. XD)
I'm sure my friends got really tired of me derping about it for days on end (I'm trying, I'm trying. I'm really sorry. D: ) and I was basically told to stop being so chickenshit and just go tell her. So...a few days later, I worked up my courage and did. (Of course, this was after first "subtle attempt", which backfired impressively. So I was nervous.)
I won't get too descriptive on what exactly was said and decided on; it's enough to say it went better than I reasonably had any hope to expect.
At the moment, she's dating someone. That...throws me off a little bit, but I'm patient and not giving up. At the same time, if something DID happen because of me, I don't want her to resent me over it. So that also makes this a little scary, especially since I know the person she's dating. But still, keep calm and carry on, right? I'll just be patient.
However, I'm guessing that she may have said something to some of her friends, since I received a message from her this morning saying she had been lectured into changing her relationship status into what it ACTUALLY was ("In A Relationship" with her boyfriend) because her friends told her she wasn't being serious enough. (She did go on to tell me that she had told them it WAS serious, which made me feel better. :'D). However, I don't really see how it's any of their business what she lists on her profile. Then again, I'm also probably getting worked up over complete nonsense, but I think it's just all the stress building up from everything.
Ugh. Anyway. I bitch too much and I decided to write it out here so that way people at least get the choice to read my bitching instead of being forced to. XD
I'm just gonna go...do something for a while, I dunno. I'm feeling fucking depressed. See you guys later.
It just seems like I can't muster the motivation to get up and do anything because even when I'm putting forth my best effort, some asshole comes along and forces everything backwards.
Yes, I am talking about a specific event. No, you don't need to know what it is if you don't already.
I guess it just pisses me off. Everything is pissing me off recently. Rather, everything is pissing me off with how deceptively easy it looks and then it turns out to be a pain in the ass. My dad is constantly bitching at me to get back into school. Okay. Well. I'm trying. Unfortunately, Dad refuses to understand that I have to WAIT for confirmation from financial aid before I go register or else it's all out of his pocket. Is that good enough? No. Refusal-to-understand-go-register-for-classes. He still doesn't understand even when I point out to him that if I went to go register NOW, he'd have to pay immediately.
"But you have financial aid."
Not yet I don't. And it's mostly because you couldn't be fucked to give me your paperwork so I could fill it out and couldn't be damned to sign the thing electronically so here I am technically TWO MONTHS PAST THE DEADLINE, praying I can get in because I fucking KNOW if I don't get in this semester, you'll automatically blame me and start bitching about how I'll get kicked off the health insurance. IT ISN'T MY FAULT, GODDAMNIT. WE HAD NO MONEY FOR ME TO GO TO SCHOOL FOR THE PAST YEAR BECAUSE YOU KEPT PULLING THIS PUSHING ME OFF BULLSHIT AND SPENDING ALL YOUR TIME IN THE GODDAMNED BAR WASTING MONEY ON THE SLOTS.
But I'm hoping everything will sort itself out. I can always just...trick my dad into thinking I'm there all day, take one class (and call the fees for it book money) and then wait until my financial aid rolls in next semester BUT I'D RATHER NOT.
Aaaaaand about Wife. Where do I begin.
I had a huge thing for Wife for...well, basically since the very second I saw her, but that's lame and cheesy and cliché and I get embarrassed admitting it. But it was fun. I am sort of a strange person; I've never had a crush on anyone before before in my entire life, so this was definitely new.
Cue MTAC (affectionately rechristened Floodcon 2010). I went with Pam and was blindsided into dragging along 5 other high-maintenance creepy jailbaits (I am serious. These girls were so creepy) into driving up to Nashville for MTAC. To be honest, I wasn't expecting much. And there really wasn't much. The raining had sort of killed the con preemptively, but I was looking forward to hanging out with the few people I did know there and we got derpy and decided to use our hotel room for a ghetto-made spaghetti party. I was sent up to the next hotel parking lot to pick up the other...like...nine people coming to our room with my van.
And Wife was there waiting with them.
But I guess neither of us was exactly expecting the other. It was one of those weird movie moments where you sit there staring at each other while everyone else continues loading up into the car. She ran forward, grabbed my face, and kept saying "you're here, you're here" over and over and I kind of felt like I maybe could've died right there (LAME CLICHÉS AHOY).
Anyway, the weekend continued on and it was...sort of a bit agonizing, but there was nothing really to be done about it. Mostly because I'm a horrid coward. XD But the rain kept coming down and all of Nashville flooded. Which meant the roads were closed.
...which meant we couldn't get back to Georgia (aka get the creepers as far away as possible).
The room that we (the creepers and Pam and myself) had booked was paid for and we left to go stay the night with all our friends at the main hotel.
Read that as cram into another hotel room with 18 other people. Awkward night was awkward.
But the next day, everyone except for the Georgia crew and Wife was able to leave. Her guy friend came to stay with us, and he was a nice guy, if a bit shy. The next day, the roads were still closed. I had to go move my car from the hotel lot down to the free lot to make room for emergency vehicles.
I was driving through at least a foot of water and my car threw its fanbelt. Which basically meant I had to have it towed to the nearest auto repair shop and hope they could get around to it decently soon.
The creeper children called their parents to tell them of this news and of couuuuurse I GOT BITCHED AT BECAUSE I AM NOT JESUS AND AM THEREFORE UNABLE TO SAVE MY CAR VIA MIRACLE. But it ended up that one of the girls' parents was able to make it through to come pick them all up except for Creeper Leader One (but we managed to shun her pretty well for the rest of the weekend).
But I guess that's all TMI. My point really is that I spent days upon days in close contact with Wife, it was agonizing, it was so fun, and I completely borked my wee heart over her. So it was completely terrible to have to go home knowing I probably wouldn't see her again until September.
After MTAC, we kept in good contact through facebook and text messaging and such. But I was still pretty miserable about the whole thing. :'D Oh well, such is the fate of those who fall for people who live far away.
Thus, AWA began its approach! Kaj began planning to come down for it (I am SUPERTHRILLED for that, by the way) aaaaand I decided to go to the ball. On a whim, I sent Wife a text message derpily asking if she would be my date. I was completely shocked (...take that as you will. Okay, fine, I was totally out of my head in glee) when she sent back a really happy affirmative.
Things continued on in some sort of weird dimension of semi-flirting. (And India wouldn't stop "D'AWWWWWWW"ing at me. XD)
I'm sure my friends got really tired of me derping about it for days on end (I'm trying, I'm trying. I'm really sorry. D: ) and I was basically told to stop being so chickenshit and just go tell her. So...a few days later, I worked up my courage and did. (Of course, this was after first "subtle attempt", which backfired impressively. So I was nervous.)
I won't get too descriptive on what exactly was said and decided on; it's enough to say it went better than I reasonably had any hope to expect.
At the moment, she's dating someone. That...throws me off a little bit, but I'm patient and not giving up. At the same time, if something DID happen because of me, I don't want her to resent me over it. So that also makes this a little scary, especially since I know the person she's dating. But still, keep calm and carry on, right? I'll just be patient.
However, I'm guessing that she may have said something to some of her friends, since I received a message from her this morning saying she had been lectured into changing her relationship status into what it ACTUALLY was ("In A Relationship" with her boyfriend) because her friends told her she wasn't being serious enough. (She did go on to tell me that she had told them it WAS serious, which made me feel better. :'D). However, I don't really see how it's any of their business what she lists on her profile. Then again, I'm also probably getting worked up over complete nonsense, but I think it's just all the stress building up from everything.
Ugh. Anyway. I bitch too much and I decided to write it out here so that way people at least get the choice to read my bitching instead of being forced to. XD
I'm just gonna go...do something for a while, I dunno. I'm feeling fucking depressed. See you guys later.