fic, the matrix, yuletide, trinity
Title: The Edge of the Looking Glass
Fandom: The Matrix
Pairing: Neo/Trinity
Written for: yuletide 2010 (originally posted here)
Summary: The path untaken; AU, at the turning point, it is Trinity who becomes the One
A/N: Thanks to my betas & to my partners in crime, past and present
i. aftershock
The blast of the EMP resonates in full before subsiding, rippling through metal and flesh.
Trinity knows it's over when all she can hear is her own breathing matched with his, the man she threw herself over a few moments ago. It's a luxury she may regret (time is precious), but she holds on for a moment longer, listening to the ragged sound, feeling his chest lift and fall. (When she closes her eyes she sees sparks of gold beneath her, and next to her; the ghosts in the machine are ebbing out of dying sentinels. She shudders.)
Lifting up, her eyes meet his. Neo's cheeks are slowly filling with color as he stares, openly. "You-"
Trinity presses her finger to his lips and he shivers. She had kissed him when she knew it was in her power to wake him; but she's not willing to face the reason why just yet.
"Are you okay?" She is all business now. It's better this way.
He opens his mouth. Moments ago, he had been dead in a hallway, twelve bullets in his chest.
"Are you physically okay?" she revises.
He takes a deep breath. "I'll live."
She needs more assurance, more proof, but time is limited.
"Morpheus," she calls out, tearing her eyes away from Neo (but her hand lingers, warm on his chest).
The man who found and saved her all those years ago is watching her, not at his broken ship or his broken operator, but at her. She's been his lieutenant since she was 14; but now he stares at her as if she's a stranger.
He looks whole, and that's good enough for her. "Morpheus, how's Tank?" The operator doesn’t move from his seat, unconscious.
"You-"
"I need him to live."
Morpheus is giving her the look he gets when he talks about the prophecy, when he talks about salvation. "We need to-"
"What we need to do is call for a ship with a better medic than you and a better welder than me. We're dead in the water." And I have to get back, she thinks, I have to know.
"Trinity-" Morpheus' voice has power behind it now.
But so does hers. "Morpheus. If I am, If I am..." She can't actually say it. "Then the lives I save first are all of ours.
Staring with Tank." Her jaw is set so tight, it aches.
He blinks, and then nods.
She flinches just a little when she feels fingers brush against her own. Neo is standing behind her now, looking as serious as she.
"What can I do?" He's so close that she wants, oh, she wants so much in this moment. But now is not the time.
"How are you with a blow torch?"
ii. once upon a time
Trinity tries not to sigh (it's not as if she's breathing air), but this is not what she thought a trip to the Oracle would be like.
"Stir clockwise," the Oracle chirps, breaking eggs into a bowl.
She follows direction; the construct of cookie dough batter looks unappealing despite the fragrant smell.
"I've got to tell you, you're not going to like what I'm going to say. Morpheus always sends me these potentials, glowing with promise and skill. You're no exception. So, I'm just going to be frank. You're going to fall in love with the One, honey. That's what's planned for you."
Trinity hesitates mid-stir and begins to blink, her eyes suddenly dry. She looks down at the bowl and stops stirring, suddenly hateful of the kitchen, of herself. "You know," she says, "I've never made cookies before."
The Oracle laughs. "I can tell."
*
Fifteen years of self-doubt, of training herself harder than anyone, of pushing herself to the limit, of living with a prophecy that assigned her fairtytale princess. Fifteen years that became a dull ache in her belly. Fifteen years of watching all of Morpheus' potentials fail; of her devout belief in a savior becoming indifference.
Fifteen years later, and she watches Neo sputter and writhe as imaginary bullets pierce him in an imaginary hallway. A foreign feeling surges out of her, and she knows, she knows, she knows the profound truth.
She had been totally and completely played.
iii. purpose
She breathes in and the Matrix moves with her, as if it was made for her touch. She is part of it, and it is part of her; a kaleidoscope of shades of green that respond to her command. She’s always been able to mock flight, to walk on walls, to adapt the rules to her liking - but now, there are no rules, only her and her will.
Agent Smith scowls. "You," he says, in surprise, as if he's impressed. His hand is on his gun, but he does not lift it. "No one ever got away from me as many times as you did. I should have guessed."
She can see how he fits, what purpose he has within this construct. She can see the corruption festering in his program; he's a problem, but not just for her.
"Your boyfriend led me on quite the chase," he says, almost fondly. "I look forward to killing him some day. Again."
It is her purpose to save lives; it is her purpose to end the War.
She leans in and there's a faint curve of a smile on her lips. "Not if I kill you first."
iv. sex
Trinity has him on his back in a matter of minutes. His muscles are still so new; and she, so many years removed from the growing fields, she's much stronger.
Neo's eyes are wider than the first time she ambushed him, probably because he thought the first time was the only time. She laughs, and it's been a long time since she's actually laughed.
"You don't understand," she says, wanting him but keeping herself still. Not everything is in her control.
"Make me," he breathes, seemingly unsettled by his own desire.
She kisses him, tangling her legs with his. "You're going to learn," she whispers, "that I am never letting you go."
-
Push, pull, blinding heat and her skin is aflame like a brightly burning star. I love you, but she never says the words; not yet, not until he understands, not until he loves her back.
*
She finds him in the back of the ship, alone. Neo takes one look before dropping the wrench and reaching for her. When he pulls her in close, she can tell that he's growing stronger; and he better be after all the lifting and welding (sentinels left the ship in a mess and they're still only a crew of four). "Hi," he says, nuzzling her neck and she can feel him hard against her.
There's a tremble in her legs that she wills to stop. Trinity looks him in the eye, and knows that he's almost hers.
"Open your mouth," she says, leaning in.
*
He finds her in the mess and sits down beside her, smiling like an idiot. "I missed you," he says. He's just woken up from his four hour sleep shift after training with her for six hours in the Construct. She raises an eyebrow and he looks away, the grin still on his face.
She can hear the beat of her heart, like a drum, and it's all she can do to keep from mirroring his grin.
v. a cluster
"It can't be just a show of power," Trinity is saying to her audience of three. "We have to get Zion to support us if we're going to make a difference. We need to all move together."
Tank, bandaged but alive, looks troubled. "They're not all believers."
"They don't have to be." Morpheus' face is serene and she fights the urge to hit him.
Neo, as ever, looks lost. "But how can they not believe after they see what you can do?"
He's still so very new; he's not even been to Zion. Trinity forgives his ignorance, as kind as it is.
"We'll start with Captain Ice. She beat me in the last tournament so it'll be a hard sell, but worth it. And you know Roland and Kali follow her lead."
Morpheus crosses his arms. "And there's Niobe."
"She's our way to Lock," Trinity thinks aloud, ignoring how Morpheus flinches. "But let me contact her. It'll be better coming from me. "
(The day after she sends a message to the Logos, she has a reply.
"We both know Morpheus is blind. How can I help?")
vi. show them a world without you
The Matrix welcomes her home, waiting for her command, for what new wonder they will accomplish together today. She tries not to betray her joy. But Neo, too, looks more confident behind mirrored shades. There's good reason, she thinks, that they all thought it was him.
Niobe meets her in a back corner of the Centaur's Dance, their old haunt in the heart of the City. When Trinity stretches out her hand in greeting, Niobe takes it and holds on for a moment longer than necessary. It's hard to read Niobe's face, but when she nods, Trinity feels nothing but relief.
They sit together and order drinks that they'll never touch. Neo stands behind Trinity, the sentinel at her back. (Niobe gives him one appraising look and a polite smile before ignoring him completely.)
The captain and the One are not women of much small talk.
- What's your plan? What do we do first?
• We free, what, a hundred minds a year?
- Give or take.
• I want to free a thousand, six thousand. I want to free so many minds that the machines have to find a way to explain it to the coppertops, why their high schools are empty, why an entire subdivision has gone missing. Then I want to talk to their boss. I want to talk to whoever's in charge.
- This is a war, Trinity. You think this can be settled over a talk?
• We haven't tried it in a hundred years. Maybe it's time.
- And if not?
• We find out how to beat them. This system is too old, too complex for it to be us versus them. There are players we don't know.
- Yet.
• Exactly. So, I have a recon job for you and Ghost, if you're willing to take it.
- Only if it's dangerous.
• Of course.
- I'm in.
Later, as they wait for the phone to ring, Neo pushes in and kisses her. A short, impetuous kiss of a man in love. The mark of it is in his code, bright and radiating heat. (If she could see her own code, she would see a similar mark, burnt into her like a brand.)
"What was that for?" she asks, amused if taken aback.
"I'm so glad it was you."
The phone begins to ring, and she ignores it, pulling him closer to her for another (a proper kiss this time). The Matrix responds to her and time slows for just a moment.
vii. father dearest
"You know," she says. "You never gave me the One talk."
Morpheus grimaces, looks away. "I was so sure."
Trinity needs him, so she doesn't speak her mind.
viii. vis-à-vis: love
The Architect: The girl? Did you do this?
The Oracle: I gave a little push. She took care of the rest.
The Architect: It doesn't matter. You know what happens next. Finding the key maker, proving herself against the Merovingian, coming to me, and returning to the Source. It's like clockwork, a little modification here and there, but it all ends the same way.
The Oracle: I think she will surprise you.
ix. the beginning
So, you see, you can't be dead. You can't be.
She says it because she believes and because she wills it so.
Because I love you. You hear me? I love you.
In that moment, Neo comes back to life.
In that moment, Trinity knows everything has changed.
+
Fandom: The Matrix
Pairing: Neo/Trinity
Written for: yuletide 2010 (originally posted here)
Summary: The path untaken; AU, at the turning point, it is Trinity who becomes the One
A/N: Thanks to my betas & to my partners in crime, past and present
i. aftershock
The blast of the EMP resonates in full before subsiding, rippling through metal and flesh.
Trinity knows it's over when all she can hear is her own breathing matched with his, the man she threw herself over a few moments ago. It's a luxury she may regret (time is precious), but she holds on for a moment longer, listening to the ragged sound, feeling his chest lift and fall. (When she closes her eyes she sees sparks of gold beneath her, and next to her; the ghosts in the machine are ebbing out of dying sentinels. She shudders.)
Lifting up, her eyes meet his. Neo's cheeks are slowly filling with color as he stares, openly. "You-"
Trinity presses her finger to his lips and he shivers. She had kissed him when she knew it was in her power to wake him; but she's not willing to face the reason why just yet.
"Are you okay?" She is all business now. It's better this way.
He opens his mouth. Moments ago, he had been dead in a hallway, twelve bullets in his chest.
"Are you physically okay?" she revises.
He takes a deep breath. "I'll live."
She needs more assurance, more proof, but time is limited.
"Morpheus," she calls out, tearing her eyes away from Neo (but her hand lingers, warm on his chest).
The man who found and saved her all those years ago is watching her, not at his broken ship or his broken operator, but at her. She's been his lieutenant since she was 14; but now he stares at her as if she's a stranger.
He looks whole, and that's good enough for her. "Morpheus, how's Tank?" The operator doesn’t move from his seat, unconscious.
"You-"
"I need him to live."
Morpheus is giving her the look he gets when he talks about the prophecy, when he talks about salvation. "We need to-"
"What we need to do is call for a ship with a better medic than you and a better welder than me. We're dead in the water." And I have to get back, she thinks, I have to know.
"Trinity-" Morpheus' voice has power behind it now.
But so does hers. "Morpheus. If I am, If I am..." She can't actually say it. "Then the lives I save first are all of ours.
Staring with Tank." Her jaw is set so tight, it aches.
He blinks, and then nods.
She flinches just a little when she feels fingers brush against her own. Neo is standing behind her now, looking as serious as she.
"What can I do?" He's so close that she wants, oh, she wants so much in this moment. But now is not the time.
"How are you with a blow torch?"
ii. once upon a time
Trinity tries not to sigh (it's not as if she's breathing air), but this is not what she thought a trip to the Oracle would be like.
"Stir clockwise," the Oracle chirps, breaking eggs into a bowl.
She follows direction; the construct of cookie dough batter looks unappealing despite the fragrant smell.
"I've got to tell you, you're not going to like what I'm going to say. Morpheus always sends me these potentials, glowing with promise and skill. You're no exception. So, I'm just going to be frank. You're going to fall in love with the One, honey. That's what's planned for you."
Trinity hesitates mid-stir and begins to blink, her eyes suddenly dry. She looks down at the bowl and stops stirring, suddenly hateful of the kitchen, of herself. "You know," she says, "I've never made cookies before."
The Oracle laughs. "I can tell."
*
Fifteen years of self-doubt, of training herself harder than anyone, of pushing herself to the limit, of living with a prophecy that assigned her fairtytale princess. Fifteen years that became a dull ache in her belly. Fifteen years of watching all of Morpheus' potentials fail; of her devout belief in a savior becoming indifference.
Fifteen years later, and she watches Neo sputter and writhe as imaginary bullets pierce him in an imaginary hallway. A foreign feeling surges out of her, and she knows, she knows, she knows the profound truth.
She had been totally and completely played.
iii. purpose
She breathes in and the Matrix moves with her, as if it was made for her touch. She is part of it, and it is part of her; a kaleidoscope of shades of green that respond to her command. She’s always been able to mock flight, to walk on walls, to adapt the rules to her liking - but now, there are no rules, only her and her will.
Agent Smith scowls. "You," he says, in surprise, as if he's impressed. His hand is on his gun, but he does not lift it. "No one ever got away from me as many times as you did. I should have guessed."
She can see how he fits, what purpose he has within this construct. She can see the corruption festering in his program; he's a problem, but not just for her.
"Your boyfriend led me on quite the chase," he says, almost fondly. "I look forward to killing him some day. Again."
It is her purpose to save lives; it is her purpose to end the War.
She leans in and there's a faint curve of a smile on her lips. "Not if I kill you first."
iv. sex
Trinity has him on his back in a matter of minutes. His muscles are still so new; and she, so many years removed from the growing fields, she's much stronger.
Neo's eyes are wider than the first time she ambushed him, probably because he thought the first time was the only time. She laughs, and it's been a long time since she's actually laughed.
"You don't understand," she says, wanting him but keeping herself still. Not everything is in her control.
"Make me," he breathes, seemingly unsettled by his own desire.
She kisses him, tangling her legs with his. "You're going to learn," she whispers, "that I am never letting you go."
-
Push, pull, blinding heat and her skin is aflame like a brightly burning star. I love you, but she never says the words; not yet, not until he understands, not until he loves her back.
*
She finds him in the back of the ship, alone. Neo takes one look before dropping the wrench and reaching for her. When he pulls her in close, she can tell that he's growing stronger; and he better be after all the lifting and welding (sentinels left the ship in a mess and they're still only a crew of four). "Hi," he says, nuzzling her neck and she can feel him hard against her.
There's a tremble in her legs that she wills to stop. Trinity looks him in the eye, and knows that he's almost hers.
"Open your mouth," she says, leaning in.
*
He finds her in the mess and sits down beside her, smiling like an idiot. "I missed you," he says. He's just woken up from his four hour sleep shift after training with her for six hours in the Construct. She raises an eyebrow and he looks away, the grin still on his face.
She can hear the beat of her heart, like a drum, and it's all she can do to keep from mirroring his grin.
v. a cluster
"It can't be just a show of power," Trinity is saying to her audience of three. "We have to get Zion to support us if we're going to make a difference. We need to all move together."
Tank, bandaged but alive, looks troubled. "They're not all believers."
"They don't have to be." Morpheus' face is serene and she fights the urge to hit him.
Neo, as ever, looks lost. "But how can they not believe after they see what you can do?"
He's still so very new; he's not even been to Zion. Trinity forgives his ignorance, as kind as it is.
"We'll start with Captain Ice. She beat me in the last tournament so it'll be a hard sell, but worth it. And you know Roland and Kali follow her lead."
Morpheus crosses his arms. "And there's Niobe."
"She's our way to Lock," Trinity thinks aloud, ignoring how Morpheus flinches. "But let me contact her. It'll be better coming from me. "
(The day after she sends a message to the Logos, she has a reply.
"We both know Morpheus is blind. How can I help?")
vi. show them a world without you
The Matrix welcomes her home, waiting for her command, for what new wonder they will accomplish together today. She tries not to betray her joy. But Neo, too, looks more confident behind mirrored shades. There's good reason, she thinks, that they all thought it was him.
Niobe meets her in a back corner of the Centaur's Dance, their old haunt in the heart of the City. When Trinity stretches out her hand in greeting, Niobe takes it and holds on for a moment longer than necessary. It's hard to read Niobe's face, but when she nods, Trinity feels nothing but relief.
They sit together and order drinks that they'll never touch. Neo stands behind Trinity, the sentinel at her back. (Niobe gives him one appraising look and a polite smile before ignoring him completely.)
The captain and the One are not women of much small talk.
- What's your plan? What do we do first?
• We free, what, a hundred minds a year?
- Give or take.
• I want to free a thousand, six thousand. I want to free so many minds that the machines have to find a way to explain it to the coppertops, why their high schools are empty, why an entire subdivision has gone missing. Then I want to talk to their boss. I want to talk to whoever's in charge.
- This is a war, Trinity. You think this can be settled over a talk?
• We haven't tried it in a hundred years. Maybe it's time.
- And if not?
• We find out how to beat them. This system is too old, too complex for it to be us versus them. There are players we don't know.
- Yet.
• Exactly. So, I have a recon job for you and Ghost, if you're willing to take it.
- Only if it's dangerous.
• Of course.
- I'm in.
Later, as they wait for the phone to ring, Neo pushes in and kisses her. A short, impetuous kiss of a man in love. The mark of it is in his code, bright and radiating heat. (If she could see her own code, she would see a similar mark, burnt into her like a brand.)
"What was that for?" she asks, amused if taken aback.
"I'm so glad it was you."
The phone begins to ring, and she ignores it, pulling him closer to her for another (a proper kiss this time). The Matrix responds to her and time slows for just a moment.
vii. father dearest
"You know," she says. "You never gave me the One talk."
Morpheus grimaces, looks away. "I was so sure."
Trinity needs him, so she doesn't speak her mind.
viii. vis-à-vis: love
The Architect: The girl? Did you do this?
The Oracle: I gave a little push. She took care of the rest.
The Architect: It doesn't matter. You know what happens next. Finding the key maker, proving herself against the Merovingian, coming to me, and returning to the Source. It's like clockwork, a little modification here and there, but it all ends the same way.
The Oracle: I think she will surprise you.
ix. the beginning
So, you see, you can't be dead. You can't be.
She says it because she believes and because she wills it so.
Because I love you. You hear me? I love you.
In that moment, Neo comes back to life.
In that moment, Trinity knows everything has changed.
+