Tonight was cool i went with my new friend to her work, she is a bartender, I got free beer and laughed my ass off with the regulars. The owner laurie was a trip and made me feel at home! nice people and a good time, exactly what I needed to relax! and Mona let me borrow Van Helsing and the day after tomorrow, sweet!

I am done, I try to tell Katie the things that she does, and I am the one that is bad. she accuses me of all these things I did durring our relationship, but sees nothing she did! so I'm done. I'm tired of being treated like dirt from somone who barely cares!

why is it so hard? we will be talking fine, then she has to say somthing completely rude. if not that she will take forever to answer me or ignore some question of mine, but if I am 10 seconds late or dont answer right I get reamed for it. fair is not a value she practices, I still am in absolute love with her, but this is killing me!

I WISH I WERE FUCKING DEAD!

Well, it has been almost a week since I wrote and my mood really has not improved, I just dont want to be alone, I'm always alone. I have a sick feeling I will never be happy. I miss my ex and my family. all i want is to be happy and have someone to hold, if someone has any advice I could use the help.

Some days you just feel like the world has nothing for you, Everyone you care about lives so far away, and the time alone is just agonizing! To much time to think and to much thinking to keep it all strait. I wish I were not feeling like this, I cant seem to keep myself even close to happy. I just miss everyone close to me!

So I studdied religion today, not a normal religion but baha'i faith, If you have not looked into it I suggest you do, you can never commit to any faith, even no faith, unless you know what else is believed by others. baha'i faith is very modern and very open, I am going to attend some meetings and see if I can put my fears of religion aside, I ( Read more... )

Well, Katie is leaving tonight, we went and picked up our meds today and had an excelent day, my nose hurts though! I wish I could of held her closer and longer today though. It just seems like to little time to say goodbye! I know I will see her online and such, but it still does not help! I still want to wake up beside her and tell her all the ( Read more... )

Tonight was the greatest night in months, I got to see Katie and it was great, no fighting and we got to talk about life, I really appreciated her giving me some time before she left, I just wish that her parents were making this easier for her. I got to hug her, and I really missed that, It felt so nice to have her in my arms again, If only it ( Read more... )

well,I was all set for the happiest day I would of had in a long time and it all came crashing down, Fuck the Kent bus! All I wanted wes some time before Katie left for Tennessee, A little time to show her I truly care and want to change for her, but now I can't. Worse than that she cant get her meds and she is going to go through hell till the ( Read more... )