[oneshot] Rememble (aka Suitcase of Memories) 2/2

[minwhore]

June
Spain

Business in Spain didn’t take long.

In fact, it took less time than Baekhyun had anticipated and he ended up wasting time as he enjoyed himself on the beach of the resort. He basked in the sunlight after being stuck inside for so long. He took a short walk in the wet sands, holding his shoes and socks in one hand as he stared out to where the sun touched the water. At one point, he even ducked his head into the cool waters, uncaring how the water dripped onto his white shirt.

What he did not do, however, was think of that strange dream filled with Chanyeol and heat and kisses and what it did to him -

He stopped the thought right there.

Instead, he thought of safer things.

For once, he hadn’t run into Chanyeol. They’d been meeting in new countries one time after the next that it felt weirdly lonely not seeing the big goof ball. Sure, they’d talked on the phone, and sometimes they texted, but it just wasn’t the same. Nothing could beat the ability to see Chanyeol in real life - see how his face came to life, how he gestured wildly with just about every topic, or how he smiled gently at Baekhyun. A phone could only be so much of a substitute for a person, after all.

As day slowly bled into night, Baekhyun planted himself on one part of the beach, watching as the sun went down.

He knew he had to leave Spain - should have left a long time ago, actually - but some part of him was unwilling to move. Maybe if he stayed long enough...

The sky flared, brilliant colors of yellows and oranges and reds painting the atmosphere from the heavens to the seas. The sight was beautiful but something was still missing.

Chanyeol would’ve liked to see this, Baekhyun thought to himself. A sense of dissatisfaction welled up in him a second later.

He scowled to himself - why couldn’t he stop thinking about Chanyeol? - and marched off the beach. He had a plane to board soon.

When he boarded his plane two hours later, Baekhyun allowed himself to glance out the window, watching silently as the features of Spain slowly rolled away. Soon, he couldn’t see anything but rolling hills and city dots.

He faced forward and closed his eyes.

July
Japan

Baekhyun wandered around the Red Light District, paying no attention to the sights, smells, and sounds which ran chaotic through the streets. He didn’t have the faintest idea of why he was there in the first place, other than the one small fact that he just needed to get smashed.

Awful days seemed to be his only constant companion lately and, unfortunately, it was the one companion that Baekhyun would much rather have done without.

The district was lit up with neon signs and flashy shops. Mysterious alleys trailed away from the main street and every once in awhile, Baekhyun could see a man or two walking down them.

Different characters of people stained the streets; a woman in a beautiful pink dress was carrying two giant bags of ice down the street, and a man decked out in a striped suit held an umbrella over his head (what for, Baekhyun didn’t know - there wasn’t even a single cloud in the night sky as far as he could see) as he strolled through. Baekhyun even almost ran into another woman, this one wearing a pink and red kimono.

A few girls called out to the men passing by (which unfortunately included him), but Baekhyun avoided them the best he could, instead diving straight into the first seemingly decent bar.

His phone vibrated worriedly in his pocket, but Baekhyun ignored it. The caller was probably just Kyungsoo, anyway.

“Anything strong,” he told the bartender in Japanese, grabbing a seat at a far end. He ran a weary hand down his face, rolling his shoulders in an attempt to relax himself. It didn’t work.

“You look like you’ve had a rough day,” the bartender said, simultaneously talking and making the drink at the same time. It would’ve been more amazing to Baekhyun had he not been in such a foul mood in the first place.

“It’s been one hell of a day,” Baekhyun agreed dryly, sighing. The bartender gave him a sympathetic smile, setting Baekhyun’s drink in front of him before going off to serve someone else. Baekhyun eyed the concoction, taking in the yellow color with suspicious eyes.

He shrugged soon after. He didn’t care about the color - all he cared about was how powerful it was.

He quickly downed it, wincing at how it burned down his throat. It spread like wildfire all the way down to his belly, branching outwards. Well, it wasn’t bad, definitely. Already he could feel the effects start to take hold on his motor skills.

He gazed at the empty glass pensively, then raised his hand for another.

An hour later, Baekhyun opened his eyes, catching a glimpse of a familiar face - Chanyeol? What was Chanyeol doing here? - before he was lifted from his comfortable position on the table.

He groaned, head flopping sideways before finding purchase on Chanyeol’s shoulder. Hmm, he smelled nice.

Chanyeol said something in Japanese to the bartender - Baekhyun couldn’t understand anything anymore, much less Japanese - before pulling Baekhyun up from his seat. It was a good thing Baekhyun had already been leaning on Chanyeol, because Chanyeol was able to catch him before his knees buckled from under him.

“Wow, you’re positively drunk,” Chanyeol told him, snorting in amusement.

Baekhyun blearily opened his eyes to glare at Chanyeol’s neck. He almost felt bad a second later; Chanyeol’s neck was quite good-looking, after all. It didn’t deserve his wrath.

“I-I’mmm noot d-drunk.”

“Right, and my name isn’t Chanyeol,” Chanyeol said, snorting. For whatever reason, Baekhyun giggled, hiccuping.

“Chan-” he tried. “Chan....yer.” Baekhyun made a funny sounding grugle in the back of his throat. “Chanyer.” His knees buckled under him once more, and the world tipped over before Chanyeol righted it, grunting in effort.

Where would he be without Chanyeol? Baekhyun asked himself sluggishly. Paranoia seized him at the thought. He clung onto Chanyeol.

“Don’t leave me,” he whispered into Chanyeol’s shirt pathetically.

“Does it look like I’ll be leaving you any time soon?” Chanyeol asked him, amused. His answer did not stop Baekhyun from worrying though.

“Y-You can’t leave me,” he said, hiccuping as he pulled back to gaze at Chanyeol with wide eyes. “Ever. Promise me.” The world stopped spinning on its axis for a second, allowing Baekhyun to see the blush spreading across Chanyeol’s cheeks. His cheeks looked warm, Baekhyun thought, and he pulled himself up to press his own cheek against Chanyeol’s.

He closed his eyes happily, sleepily. Chanyeol’s cheek was wonderfully warm and it was just what Baekhyun needed to lull himself into a stupor.

“Okay...” Chanyeol breathed out, his breath fanning against the small of Baekhyun’s neck, as he wrapped his arms around Baekhyun. “I won’t leave if you don’t want me to leave.”

Baekhyun smiled, toasty and blissful and safe in Chanyeol’s arms.

All of Chanyeol was warm, he thought, and slid into a black, comforting sleep.

When he woke up, Chanyeol had just finished pulling the covers over his practically nude form.

Cold. Baekhyun shivered. He blinked his eyes open slowly, watching Chanyeol’s face as it hovered over his worriedly. He could barely see Chanyeol, Baekhyun mused drowsily. The thought upset him more than it should have.

Baekhyun shook one of his arms out from under the covers, grabbing at Chanyeol and pulling him down. Baekhyun grinned at the surprised expression marring the other’s face that he could make out even in the darkness, lacing his fingers with Chanyeol’s idly.

A little warmer now.

“‘m really cold,” Baekhyun told him, speech still slurred. Something that looked suspiciously like disappointment flashed in Chanyeol’s eyes before he masked it, instead grinning apologetically.

“Sorry, I took off most of your clothes since they stunk,” Chanyeol said, laughing softly. “I didn’t want my bed to smell like alcohol.” His breath smelled like mint, Baekhyun noted, cuddling closer.

He could feel Chanyeol’s warmth a little bit through the blankets, but it wasn’t enough to satisfy him. He huffed, struggling to pull Chanyeol into the blanket. Chanyeol snorted, laughing.

“What are you doing?” Chanyeol asked, amused. He quickly got under the covers, nonetheless.

“‘m cold,” Baekhyun mumbled again, snuggling up close to Chanyeol. His lips traced Chanyeol’s collarbone obliviously, and his heart pounded in his chest. He paid no attention to it. He continued, “And yer warm.”

Still, it wasn’t warm enough. Baekhyun frowned, not noticing Chanyeol stiffening in his embrace. Baekhyun slid his freezing hands under Chanyeol’s t-shirt by accident, and that was just about the best accident he could have ever made.

He brightened when his hands met warmth.

Now determined, Baekhyun tugged at Chanyeol’s shirt, pouting when Chanyeol refused to give him a hand.

“Chanyerr,” he whined. “Cold. Take off yer clotheees.”

Still, Chanyeol didn’t move. Baekhyun cocked his head in confusion. Was Chanyeol even breathing?

Curious, slightly panicked, Baekhyun leaned close to Chanyeol, scrutinizing Chanyeol’s face. The taller man had his eyes screwed shut, mouth pressed into a firm, straight line. Baffled, Baekhyun waved a hand in front of Chanyeol’s face. Chanyeol gave no reaction.

Baekhyun’s eyes dropped to Chanyeol’s lips. His lids lowered, and he traced the tensed opening absently. It felt softer than the lips in his dream, he thought. What would it feel like in real life to kiss Chanyeol?

So he pressed his lips to Chanyeol’s, eyes sliding closed.

At first, Baekhyun couldn’t feel anything except a tingling sensation. Chanyeol still didn’t acknowledge him even then, so Baekhyun leaned down again, this time tracing the seams of Chanyeol’s lips with the tip of his tongue.

Something warmed inside of Baekhyun, intoxicating and embarrassing all at once.

Chanyeol gasped, eyes and mouth shooting wide just as Baekhyun sealed their mouths together again. Baekhyun watched with a certain satisfaction as Chanyeol slowly relaxed, lids closing once more. Baekhyun purred when Chanyeol wrapped arms around him, deepening the kiss.

And Baekhyun craved more. It was an itch underneath his skin, turning him hot and bothered and breathless. On impulse, Baekhyun caught Chanyeol’s bottom lip between his teeth, nipping at it gently. He received a growl in return. Baekhyun shivered at the sound, sinking more and more into Chanyeol.

“Fuck,” Chanyeol finally breathed when they parted. At one point, they’d rolled over in the bed, so now Baekhyun gazed up at Chanyeol as the other man’s breath fanned across his cheekbones.

“More,” Baekhyun said breathily. His chest heaved in an effort to pull in air.

“You don’t know what you’re getting into,” Chanyeol said, and a silent war raged within him. Baekhyun could see it in his eyes.

“I do,” Baekhyun slurred. Chanyeol’s face twisted, contorted for a second, anguished and vulnerable. He looked about ready to cry and it just about broke Baekhyun’s heart watching him.

Baekhyun wanted to rid Chanyeol of that expression, wanted for Chanyeol to look at him with those gentle, beautiful eyes that seemed to know no darkness in the world. So Baekhyun did the only thing he could. He opened himself up - mind, heart, body, and soul.

He ran the palm of his hand against Chanyeol’s cheek lovingly, feeling the beginnings of a stubble underneath his soft palm, and he whispered, “Please.”

A moment later, Chanyeol gave in.

Baekhyun woke to a pounding headache. He rolled over in bed with a grimace, unfortunately disentangling himself from the warmth surrounding him. A throbbing on his lower back made him mumble a curse, and he ended up settling back down in his original position.

“Shit,” he said. Why did he feel so crappy?

“Mm, Baek,” someone breathed into his hair, and the person moved around before settling down again. Warm, naked arms wrapped around his own bare frame. Baekhyun froze, his eyes shooting open in horror as his heart thundered in his ears. Who the hell was in bed with him? Holding his breath, Baekhyun slowly turned his head to the right and felt his heart drop into his stomach.

“C-Chanyeol?” he asked himself, half confused and half shocked. No way. Had he...slept with Chanyeol last night?

He didn’t want to believe it, but the soreness of his backside told another tale.

He turned carefully back to face the ceiling, arms and legs feeling ten times more stiff compared to just two minutes ago. He tried to remember the things that had happened yesterday, but after he had downed his fourth drink, his memory went blurry. Flashes of Chanyeol’s face came to his mind when he thought hard enough. One Chanyeol looked concerned. The other looked pained. And the last one looked...

Chanyeol breathed above him, face screwed up with pleasure as he thrusted into Baekhyun’s willing body. Passion blazed between them. Baekhyun raked nails down Chanyeol’s back, biting into the other’s shoulder to muffle his moan. The need between them rose to a new height, steamy and hot and uncontrollable. Sometimes it felt like Baekhyun couldn’t even breathe in correctly - but that might have just been because he kept forgetting he had lungs in the first place.

Chanyeol’s eyes opened, so dark and hungry and lustful, as he gave another powerful thrust and gripped Baekhyun’s desire in his hand, pushing Baekhyun over the edge. Baekhyun’s body went rigid and -

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuckfuckfuck. Baekhyun trembled, unable to believe those...those hallucinations were real. He couldn’t have had sex with a guy, much less Chanyeol!

Chanyeol was his second best friend, someone Baekhyun hung out with for fun, not because he was hot or attractive or funny or had an amazi -

No, this couldn’t be happening. Baekhyun took in a shuddering breath, his body screaming at him for air as he came to a decision.

“Sorry, Chanyeol,” he mumbled, feeling slightly guilty.

He delicately edged from under Chanyeol’s arms, pausing only when Chanyeol frowned in his sleep and continuing on when Chanyeol’s face smoothed out. Then he wobbled around, trying to find his clothing. He abandoned his underwear and quietly began putting on his clothes. He winced when he put on his jeans; bending down hurt, and the jeans rubbing against his sensitive parts hurt too, but he’d rather hurt and get out of the place faster than try and find his underwear.

He was still shrugging his shirt on as he left the building.

In his haste, he didn’t see the water and pain medicate laid out for him on the coffee table.

The door slammed shut.

August
Spain

There was nothing different about rich-people parties in Spain. The place was overly, exaggeratingly decorated (like parties always were), and was attended by snobs galore (but what was new with that?).

Baekhyun rather liked avoiding most rich-people parties - he already hated people as it was and socializing was just a big no-no - but Mr. Byun had told him to get the attention of one of the old money families in Spain to sponsor a project for their resort this coming winter. All in all, it was just a giant pain in the behind.

Thankfully, he had Kyungsoo to suffer along with him.

“Baekhyun, your tie is crooked,” Kyungsoo said, critically eyeing Baekhyun’s reflection in the mirror. Around them, other men fixed up their own suits. Fucking divas, Baekhyun thought acidly. Just what did they think themselves as? Women? No, Baekhyun was sure women didn’t even primp themselves in the mirror like these men did... at least, not the women Baekhyun knew.

“If you don’t fix your tie in five seconds, I’ll go over there and fix it for you,” Kyungsoo warned, irritated at being ignored. Baekhyun huffed.

“Damn it, ‘Soo,” he muttered as he fixed his tie obediently. “Take a chill pill, will ya?” Kyungsoo glared at him.

“Do I have to remind you that the only reason I’m here is because you dragged me here?” Kyungsoo asked bitingly, patience dissolving quickly. Baekhyun had been in a horrible mood all day - no, all month, and all Baekhyun’s grouchiness was slowly getting to his normally fair-tempered best friend.

Baekhyun winced, instantly feeling remorseful.

“Sorry, Kyungsoo. I didn’t mean that. You know I appreciate you coming with me, right?” Kyungsoo was the last person who deserved his anger. His best friend had done so much for him the past month that even Baekhyun just snapping at Kyungsoo left Baekhyun feeling like the biggest asshole on the planet.

Kyungsoo sighed, smiling at Baekhyun through the mirror; his eyes were still troubled though.

“I know you appreciate me coming,” Kyungsoo said. “But I wish you would just tell me what’s eating at you. You changed after you visited Japan, and I know it wasn’t because of the crappy business merge you had to deal with over there.”

Baekhyun bit his lip.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell Kyungsoo. In fact, he wanted - needed - to spill out everything that had happened between him and Chanyeol to his best friend.

…But telling Kyungsoo what happened meant... actually acknowledging that something had happened that night. Baekhyun just wasn’t ready for that yet.

He still needed time to process what had happened - needed time to accept the situation for what it really was.

“I promise I’ll tell you when I’m ready,” Baekhyun said, glancing up at Kyungsoo pleadingly. “Just bear with me until I can say it out loud, please.”

If he lost Kyungsoo now, there’d be no telling where he would end up.

Kyungsoo pressed his lips together and shut his eyes, visibly pulling himself together. Baekhyun’s answer was obviously an answer he hadn’t wanted to hear, but there was acceptance in his eyes when he finally looked at Baekhyun again. Baekhyun almost deflated with relief.

“Okay,” Kyungsoo said simply. He wagged a finger in front of Baekhyun. “But no more snapping at me.” Baekhyun nodded submissively. Kyungsoo smiled. “Also, your tie is still crooked.”

When Baekhyun saw Chanyeol across the room, strength left him so fast he almost collapsed right there.

He panicked - he couldn’t face Chanyeol yet. He hadn’t avoided Chanyeol’s calls, or his texts, or even his random visits in the past month all for it to go to waste here!

Chanyeol looked good, hair gelled up to perfection and suit tailored for his tall frame. However, there were dark bags underneath his eyes, and he appeared to be a bit thinner than Baekhyun had remembered. Baekhyun’s fingers twitched, and he wanted nothing more than to run them over the circles underneath Chanyeol’s eyes, hoping they’d go away.

A beautiful man stood next to Chanyeol. He had soft strands of sunlight as hair, and the most radiant smile Baekhyun had ever seen on a person. And somehow...he looked familiar. Baekhyun studied the man.

He truly was a sight to see, but when the man glanced up to Chanyeol with love obvious in his eyes, Baekhyun’s appreciation of him drained until nothing but a shimmering jealousy was left. He wanted to march over to Chanyeol’s side and pull him away, and maybe get in a well-aimed glare or two at the beautiful man for even thinking he had a shot with Chanyeol.

But he didn’t do either one of those things. Instead, like the coward he was, he grasped onto Kyungsoo and tried his best to hide from Chanyeol’s line of view. He prayed to get through the party alive, and unseen.

God wasn’t listening to his prayers though. Just when Baekhyun had finished his talk up with the man hosting the party - the one he had come to the party for, in the first place - Chanyeol had spotted him and cornered him.

In between a wall and Chanyeol, there was no place for Baekhyun to hide.

His running had finally come to a halt.

He wanted to apologize - to tell Chanyeol how sorry he was for leaving that night without any explanation, to tell Chanyeol how horrid he felt when he ignored all of Chanyeol’s attempts at contact with him. However, looking into those eyes - those eyes that kept haunting him in his sleep and even when he was wide awake - a shiver of fear shot up his spine and rendered him unable to even open his mouth.

“Baekhyun?” Chanyeol asked, and something about him seemed so fragile and desperate in the moment that it almost hurt Baekhyun to look at him. Baekhyun’s fists clenched. Chanyeol searched his face as if looking for some type of sign.

“Chanyeol.” Baekhyun felt numb, and yet his mouth moved. His voice sounded surprisingly cool, even to him. He swallowed, looking away from Chanyeol. “Long time, no see.”

“Are you...” Chanyeol hesitated. “Okay?”

“Yeah, I’m great,” Baekhyun said, forcing a smile as he crossed his arms. “You?”

“I’m...”

“Look,” Baekhyun interrupted, biting his lip. Never had he felt so foolish or awkward in his life. He cleared his throat. “I have to go. Kyungsoo and I have somewhere to be right now. Sorry. Maybe I’ll see you around sometime.”

As he walked away, Baekhyun tried to not to think about how he had left Chanyeol looking small and dejected.

And thus, his running resumed.

September
America

Baekhyun got a surprising visit during his boring stay in America. His secretary, Jongdae, knocked on his office door politely and called through the door,

“Sir, a man is here to see you without an appointment. Do you want to talk to him?” Baekhyun looked up from the stack of papers he’d been reading, eyebrows raising in confusion, before looking at the clock.

He shrugged to himself - it was only nine in the morning, why not. He’d like to have something new happen right now, anyways.

However, he rethought his choice when he saw the man waiting to talk to him. His eyes widened. It was Chanyeol’s companion during the party in Spain! What in the world was he doing here?

Baekhyun struggled to mask his surprise under a facade of cool pleasantness. Jongdae quietly closed the door, and left the two men in the room silent. Blondie looked at Baekhyun in a way that made him want to angrily ruffle his feathers. He held it in, however, studying Blondie back.

“My name is Luhan,” the man said without warning. “I’m Chanyeol’s best friend, assistant, and sometimes model.” Baekhyun pressed his lips together, narrowing his eyes at the beautiful man. He remembered with jealousy how good Chanyeol and Luhan had looked together. He squashed it down ruthlessly.

“And so?” Baekhyun asked a moment later. “Why are you here to see me, Luhan?”

Luhan smiled, so innocent that what lurked underneath could only be the opposite. Baekhyun felt a chill run down his spine.

“Well,” Luhan said, the same pure smile on his face. “I suppose I just wanted to tell you that I’m rather sick of you right now.”

Baekhyun stiffened, staring at Luhan doe-eyed. That wasn’t what he had expected.

“You know, back in July, I was working with Chanyeol on this shoot somewhere in Prague when he got this really curious call,” Luhan said pensively. Baekhyun frowned, not understanding what this had to do with Luhan not liking him. Luhan’s lips twitched into something that looked more a smirk than a smile at the face Baekhyun was making. “The call was from a man named ‘Kyungsoo,’ or so I heard.” Baekhyun blinked, trying hard not to show too much surprise on his face. Luhan’s smirk widened, but his eyes were bitter. “And this Kyungsoo person, distraught, said one word that made Chanyeol fly into panic.” Luhan lost his smile, and only ire stood stark on his beautiful but cold features.

“Do you want to know what that one word was?” Luhan asked Baekhyun, eyes narrowing into resentful lines. Without waiting for a reply, Luhan answered, “The word was ‘Baekhyun.’”

What...?

“With just that one word, Chanyeol tossed aside everything - his job, the photoshoot, me - to go and find you in Japan, because Kyungsoo couldn’t reach you and had ‘a bad feeling,’” Luhan said, sneering as he did air quotes.

Baekhyun couldn’t have masked the shock had he tried. Chanyeol had done all of that for him? He...hadn’t known...

“And you know what happened when Chanyeol got back from Japan?” Luhan continued. By now, the rage Luhan was emitting was practically tangible within the office. “He wasn’t Chanyeol anymore. He was just this broken shell of a person he once was. And you were the one who made him like that.”

“I think you’re just exaggerating,” Baekhyun said, clenching his jaw. He couldn’t imagine a Chanyeol like that - one that wasn’t smiling or one that wasn’t strong and focused. Chanyeol had morals and aspirations that would’ve enabled him to get over Baekhyun’s departure from his life. Surely Chanyeol wouldn’t break so easily?

And yet the image of Chanyeol, so heart-breakingly defeated, flashed in his mind.

“I suppose it doesn’t matter if you believe me or not,” he said icily; his eyes were just as chilly as his voice. “Anyway, I should get to my point now.”

“Stay away from Chanyeol. He’s starting to finally improve, and one look at you could shatter all the hard work he’s put into forgetting you.” Luhan smiled, and the raging blizzard within the room disappeared. “Thanks for your time, Mr. Byun. I’ll take my leave now.”

When Luhan left, Baekhyun turned in his chair to stare out at the city beyond the glass window. He raised his hand to push a piece of hair that had fallen into his eyes, but when he noticed that his hand was trembling, he dropped it back down into his lap, fisting it into the material of his pants.

Stay away from Chanyeol? He’d only managed to do that for not even a month, and the time away was already driving him crazy. How was he supposed to do that indefinitely?

Baekhyun groaned, dropping his head forward.

He wasn’t sure what he wanted anymore. Maybe it was time to start reevaluating himself.

October
England

Kyungsoo and Baekhyun had a tradition every October.

October, according to Kyungsoo’s mother, had been the month their friendship began. So every year on the fifth of October, they celebrated their ‘anniversary.’

This year was Kyungsoo’s turn (Kyungsoo had even years, and Baekhyun had odd years) to surprise Baekhyun. All Baekhyun knew was that they were in England, but any information besides that was lost on him, seeing as he had on a blindfold.

“‘Soo,” Baekhyun whined, fingering the cloth covering his eyes with a childish pout. “Where are we going?”

Kyungsoo’s disembodied laugh floated to him, mysterious and somehow just a tad bit scary.

“You’ll see,” was the only cryptic answer Baekhyun got. Baekhyun shivered as his teeth worried at his bottom lip, wondering why he felt nervous at that.

“Guh,” Baekhyun uttered grumpily, leaning his head against the cool window of the car. He drummed his fingers against his thigh, impatient. A nervous energy filled him, leaving his anxious and insecure. On impulse, he asked Kyungsoo, “You aren’t taking me to some scary thing again, are you? Cause if you are, I think you should just -”

“Don’t worry, Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo cooed. “I promise it’s nowhere near scary. You’ll even like it!”

For some reason, that only served to alarm Baekhyun more.

When they finally arrived, Baekhyun heard the driver and Kyungsoo get out. Silence filled the car before his door opened up, and he was carefully lead out of the car.

Kyungsoo’s warm, steady hands on his shoulders were his only guide as he was maneuvered around, slowly but steadily. Up one step, two, take a right, then walk straight.

Every once in awhile, Baekhyun would trip on an invisible bump or crack, and Kyungsoo would help him up with a snigger. Kyungsoo was enjoying this power over Baekhyun thing way too much.

The walking continued on.

It was a good thing that the season wasn’t too cold yet, because the time they spent outside walking would’ve frozen Baekhyun by the time they got to the building.

The inside of the building was warm and smelled pleasant. Baekhyun breathed a sigh of relief, smiling. Well, it didn’t smell scary, at least. He frowned at the thought. What if it turned out to be like one of those Febreze commercials, though?

Hands left his shoulders and went to the blindfold around Baekhyun’s eyes, deftly untying the knot.

Baekhyun had to blink when he could suddenly see again - the indoors was dim, but it felt like he hadn’t seen any light in years, so it took some getting used to again.

“Where are we?” Baekhyun asked in confusion, glancing around the area filled with large, beautiful photographs. He narrowed his eyes when a foreboding feeling struck him; some of the pictures looked oddly familiar. A few pictures of people in France, a shot of the Eiffel Tower or two; one beautiful picture had a man’s bottom portion of his face, chin tilted up as the Eiffel Tower glowed around him. White clouds streamed from the man’s mouth, and Baekhyun almost instantly recognized who the man was.

Was that a picture of... himself? His heart skipped a beat from the connotations.

“This -” Kyungsoo gestured around them. “- is a gallery exhibit of a photographer you love.”

Baekhyun slowly turned to Kyungsoo, heart racing in his chest.

“Who’s the photographer?” he asked softly, his breath shallow. Looking around the photos closest to him, he had a suspicious feeling he already knew the answer to his question. He inhaled, trying to calm himself to no avail.

“Chanyeol Park,” Kyungsoo said simply. He watched Baekhyun intently, as if waiting for something to happen.

Baekhyun bit his lip, glancing around again, before nodding in acceptance. His feet moved on their own, carrying him across the gallery.

There - a photo taken when he and Chanyeol were eating lunch in England - and there - a photo taken of a swirl of fish back in the aquarium. Baekhyun ran through the photos, taking in all the details and the memories that came with them.

He smiled unconsciously when he saw a picture of himself - again, only the bottom half of his face down was visible - laughing, a piece of lettuce from the sandwich stuck in his teeth. Those days had been so happy and carefree; Baekhyun could almost feel all the emotions again when he closed his eyes.

He opened his eyes and continued inside, moving deeper into the building. Pictures of Prague, of Germany, of Austria, of Poland, each one more beautiful than the rest. He kept going, walking steadily, until the last photo was left.

Baekhyun slowed to a stop, gazing at the photo in front of him as his jaw fell open.

This time the picture held his whole face, each detail clear. Baekhyun had gotten used to the photos where his face wasn’t fully there that seeing himself staring back was a shock.

In the photo, he was gazing at the camera -- at Chanyeol -- with a face red from the cold, and a smile Baekhyun himself didn’t think he could pull off. But that wasn’t what shocked him; no, what shocked him was the love so bright and apparent in his eyes.

That was when Baekhyun knew he couldn’t hide from the truth anymore, not when it was staring him in the face. He was in love with Chanyeol -- had been in love with Chanyeol even back in England, had been in love with Chanyeol since who knew when.

And the relief he felt at finally acknowledging his feelings brought unshed tears to his eyes. He turned to Kyungsoo, who had been silently following him, and told his best friend the thing that had been plaguing his thoughts and dreams.

“I love Chanyeol.”

Kyungsoo smiled and replied, “I know.”

Baekhyun wanted to meet up with Chanyeol as soon as possible, to tell him that Baekhyun’s chest ached every time he thought about him - to tell him that he loved him. However, as he looked at the phone cradled in his hands, he realized he had to do something else to take care of before he could confess to Chanyeol.

He rooted through his contact list, happy that his secretary had added in new contacts (and happy that his secretary took names and phone numbers of everyone who visited him during office hours in the first place), and highlighted a name. He hit call, closing his eyes as he listened to it ring.

“Hello?” someone asked. He sounded different from the last time Baekhyun had talked to him - less angry and mad. “Who is this?”

“This is Baekhyun Byun,” he replied, staring sightlessly at the wall. “Do you have a minute to talk? Can we meet?”

“...not right now,” the other replied cautiously. “Why?”

“I need to talk to you about something. Are you free anytime soon?” Baekhyun paced around before finally deciding to sit down.

There was a pregnant pause, and Baekhyun hoped that the man wouldn’t end up hanging up on him.

Finally, the man sighed.

“Let me look at my schedule.” Another pause. “I’m free next month, but I’ll be in China.” Baekhyun exhaled in relief, slouching in his seat.

“That’s okay,” he said, a smile spreading across his face. “I’ll go to you.”

November
China

Baekhyun rubbed his hands together, from the cold or from nervousness, he didn’t know. His leg jittered up and down, and he couldn’t stop himself from glancing around. He checked his watch for the nth time in the past ten minutes he had been waiting; the slow-moving hands mocked him.

“You’re looking quite impatient there,” a voice greeted him. Baekhyun glanced up at his visitor, standing up out of habit. Luhan gazed back at him steadily.

“Hey,” Baekhyun greeted unnecessarily. His palms were sweating, so he wiped them off on his jeans absently. Luhan said nothing in reply, gazing at Baekhyun with those dark eyes of his, something inscrutable on his face.

Baekhyun returned his stare directly. For some reason, it felt like he was being challenged. It was a childish notion at best, but it meant a lot to him.

Baekhyun couldn’t - wouldn’t - back down this time.

Luhan glanced away first, eyes flickering to glance at some children running around in the streets. Feeling a sense of victory, Baekhyun followed Luhan’s line of vision. The children ran (one with a cloth around her eyes) around in a cute, nonsensical game of what looked to be tag, faces full of an innocent joy that only a child could have.

Their laughter filled the air, giddy and high off of life. Baekhyun wondered how it felt to be that happy. Would he ever feel that happy?

An image of Chanyeol’s smiling face flashed in his mind’s eye, and something inside of him whispered, Yes. He stopped his lips from twitching upward into a small smile.

“You had something to tell me?” Luhan asked, breaking the silence between the two. Baekhyun blinked, turning his attention back to the other man. Luhan looked uncomfortable, arms crossed defensively over his chest. He put up a good front, Baekhyun thought, except that it was easy to distinguish the sadness in Luhan’s brown eyes.

“Can you speak Mandarin?” Baekhyun asked, and smiled when Luhan blinked in surprise.

“I would hope so,” Luhan said wryly, giving a grudging smile. He still hadn’t turned away from watching the children. “I lived in Beijing for a few years during my childhood, so it’d be sad if I didn’t.”

“Hm,” Baekhyun said. He formulated the words in his mind, words that he had been saying to himself during the past month in just about every language possible. Slowly, articulating each syllable, he said in Mandarin, “I’m in love with Chanyeol.” He didn’t know why he felt the need to say it in the Chinese language, but there was a first time for everything.

Luhan didn’t seem too surprised. All he did was raise an eyebrow at Baekhyun’s accent.

“Shouldn’t you be telling that to Chanyeol?” Luhan asked, irritated. A brief smile of relief flew onto his face before disappearing like lightening, vanishing fast enough to confuse Baekhyun. “Why are you telling that to me?”

“Because you said you’re his best friend,” Baekhyun said, his face open and honest. “And I want to get his best friend’s approval to confess to him, to love him.” Not that Baekhyun wouldn’t confess to Chanyeol if Luhan told him no, but it was the thought that mattered. Because of Luhan, Baekhyun was able to move forward; through his reevaluation of himself and his life, Baekhyun was able to finally accept himself for who he was, and who he loved.

Not just anyone could have made him do that but Luhan, Chanyeol’s best friend, did, and it meant the world to Baekhyun.

In a way, Baekhyun was thanking Luhan as well. Baekhyun knew that Luhan was in love with Chanyeol. Even now the fact was obvious. But the day Luhan had stormed into Baekhyun’s office to snap him out of his months-long daydream with harsh words and concealed pleas, Luhan had put aside his own feelings for Chanyeol so his best friend could be happy.

Luhan snorted, rolling his eyes as he began to talk away, and called over his shoulder, "Don't waste your time with me when you should be talking to Chanyeol. He's been waiting for you."

Baekhyun couldn’t hold back a smile, knowing that was all the approval he needed.

December
France

Baekhyun stood outside the coffee shop, ignoring the people looking at him warily as he debated on whether to actually go in or not.

Just a door and a few tables separated him from his goal. It all felt like a dream. He’d wanted this meeting for so long that it stupefied him just thinking about how it might actually come true. Of course he wanted to go in - wanted it so much that he practically burned with it - but now the doubts were getting to him, keeping him in place.

He tried to move but his feet were glued to the concrete. He bit his lip and tried to summon the courage to pull the door open.

From the outside, Baekhyun could see Chanyeol sitting at a lone table. Chanyeol kept glancing up from his cup of coffee to stare out the big window to Baekhyun’s left, looking for someone - looking for him.

Baekhyun sucked in a breath, mustered all the bravery he had in him, and pulled open the door. Bulldozing his way through the people and inanimate objects, he stopped right in front of the table. Chanyeol looked up at him with wide-eyes. They stared at each other before Baekhyun promptly collapsed into the first empty chair near him, just about every drop of courage used up.

“Ah,” Chanyeol said, shocked, as his hands fluttered around Baekhyun uselessly. “B-Baekhyun?”

“Sorry,” Baekhyun said, wincing. He had hit his shin on the way in somewhere and now it throbbed like hell. He hated bruises. “Just give me a moment.”

Chanyeol nodded, eyes still scanning Baekhyun in concern. It struck a chord in Baekhyun - Chanyeol was always worried about him, even when they weren’t actually on speaking terms.

Baekhyun pulled himself together.

“So,” he said, twiddling his thumbs as he looked down at the table.

“So,” Chanyeol repeated.

“Thanks for coming today,” Baekhyun babbled. He didn’t really know what to say.

“No problem,” Chanyeol said, nodding his head.

“...”

“...”

And sitting there across from Chanyeol, not talking or laughing or smiling or blinking or even breathing, was just about the most awkward thing Baekhyun had ever been graced to experience. Baekhyun wasn’t used to the new silence between them, even after months of avoiding Chanyeol.

He looked up and let his eyes trace the straights and curves of Chanyeol’s face. He looked better than the last time Baekhyun had seen him, Baekhyun noted happily. His face wasn’t as gaunt and lined with sleepless nights as it had been.

Baekhyun’s eyes dropped to Chanyeol’s lips - remembered how they felt against his own, so rough yet so very, very soft. He flushed at his thoughts, dropping his line of sight quickly before Chanyeol could notice.

“So, um... how are you?” Baekhyun finally managed to ask. He couldn’t take the silence anymore, and Chanyeol wasn’t helping one bit. He raised his eyes to look at Chanyeol, who stared back at him with the strangest bemused expression Baekhyun had seen on his face. Chanyeol even looked, dare Baekhyun say it, amused. Baekhyun squinted his eyes at Chanyeol suspiciously.

“I’m okay,” Chanyeol said, lips twitching upwards into an entertained smile. “You?”

“So-so,” Baekhyun replied, shrugging. He still couldn’t stop scrutinizing the way Chanyeol was smiling at him. Did he have something on his face?

They lapsed back into silence. They eyed each other. Somehow, the air between them had turned playful.

“I saw your gallery in England,” Baekhyun said, rising to the challenge. He smirked in success when Chanyeol blinked, startled. The life in Chanyeol’s eyes dimmed warily and Baekhyun mentally hit himself. He hadn’t meant to run Chanyeol off like that.

And in the same way the playfulness had come between them, it vanished just as easily.

“Did... you enjoy it?” Chanyeol asked, picking his words with a guardedness that made Baekhyun close his eyes and count to ten. He needed patience; if he snapped at Chanyeol now, he wasn’t sure what would happen since their current friendship - relationship? - was on the rocks. Baekhyun opened his eyes again.

“Yeah...” Baekhyun said, smiling faintly. He tried to pour as much meaning into the words as possible. “Yeah, I really did.” Chanyeol visibly swallowed.

“That’s good,” Chanyeol said quietly, and Baekhyun had to strain his ears to hear Chanyeol over the loud voices around them.

Baekhyun wanted to yell in frustration when silence came between them again.

“Okay, look,” Baekhyun said, clenching his jaw as he hoped to not screw up. Here goes nothing, he thought. “I called you to meet me here because I wanted to tell you something.”

“I got that much,” Chanyeol interrupted (quite cheekily, if you asked Baekhyun), and Baekhyun could almost see their relationship mending together again. He wanted to sigh in relief; he didn’t, though. He just continued.

“I...love you,” Baekhyun said, gazing into the eyes that he had come to know and love within the past year. “I love you and I wanted you to know that. I don’t know when I actually fell in love with you - I think it was sometime during our stay in England - but I do, and I just...” Baekhyun paused, recollecting his chaotic thoughts. Chanyeol stared at him, his face awfully blank. Baekhyun lowered his eyes so that he wouldn’t have to see that expression on the face he adored so much, swallowing. “I’m sorry that I made you suffer so much. I kept running away from my feelings, thinking that they’d go away, but they never did. They only grew in me, to the point that I couldn’t eat or sleep or even work -” Baekhyun laughed to himself bitterly, “- without thinking about you. I tried so hard to get rid of them - to throw them off to sea and watch them fade into the horizon…but they always floated back.”

Baekhyun’s hands were trembling, so he clasped them together in an effort to get them to stop.

”I really just love you,” he whispered. “And I’m sorry. I hope that one day you’ll find it in yourself to forgive me for the things I put you through.”

He bowed his head, staring numbly at the table. Chanyeol was silent - had been silent throughout Baekhyun’s whole confession - and Baekhyun just wanted to hear him say something...anything. Even if it was just to hear a rejection.

Rejection was okay, he told himself bravely. Rejection was...okay...

Gentle hands touched his own tentatively, slowly loosening the steel clasp his right and left hand had on each other. Baekhyun couldn’t believe it, and even thought he was dreaming for a second; he couldn’t raise his head in fear of the dream dissipating. When his hands came undone, Chanyeol’s hands laced through them, and the moment was just so beautiful and perfect that Baekhyun wanted to freeze it forever. Baekhyun’s hands clutched at Chanyeol’s, unwilling to let them go.

He slowly looked up. Chanyeol stared back, eyes roaming Baekhyun’s face as if he were taking a mental picture of Baekhyun to keep safe within his mind.

Baekhyun waited for Chanyeol to speak desperately, wishing and hoping and wanting and -

“I’m not sure if I can forgive you right now for running out on me like that,” Chanyeol said softly, gazing down onto where their hands touched. Baekhyun felt his world stop at those words and forced himself to breathe, closing his eyes. Chanyeol’s hands were warm against his.

Rejection was okay, he reminded himself again. Except... he hadn’t known it would hurt this much. He began to pull his hands back.

His jaw clenched when Chanyeol refused to let his hands go.

“But,” Chanyeol continued, a small smile in his voice. Baekhyun’s head shot up, eyes searching Chanyeol’s face hopefully. Chanyeol offered him a smile. Baekhyun held his breath. His heart was going out of control. “I can try, for you. It’ll just take some time. Are you willing to wait for me?”

A sense of elation made Baekhyun’s jaw drop open and nod eagerly, eyes wide. He couldn’t speak - he kept trying to talk but no sound would come out of his mouth. Chanyeol grinned at him, and the sight was so familiar that it just made Baekhyun want to tackle Chanyeol into a hug. He held back though, instead letting a smile spread across his own features.

“Wanna say that out loud?” Chanyeol teased. Baekhyun frowned, huffed, and punched Chanyeol in the arm. How dare he ruin the moment!

“Ouch!” Chanyeol laughed. “I forgot what a mean, abusive person you were.”

Baekhyun couldn’t stop himself from laughing along with Chanyeol even if he had tried.

January
South Korea

Baekhyun shivered as he pulled his scarf up over his mouth. His face was numb and he couldn’t feel his nose or ears anymore. A quick glance around told him that only a few had braved the weather (it was practically blizzarding - yes, blizzarding was a word that existed in Baekhyun’s vocabulary) to come outside, and no one was just standing around like he was.

Then again, they didn’t have to wait for a stupid, big-eared dumb dumb like Baekhyun did.

“Who’s bright idea was it to meet out here?” Baekhyun muttered to himself, jumping up and down in place in a lousy attempt to get warm. “Oh, that’s right, it was -”

His phone rang, blasting some Girl’s Generation out into the wintery scene. With regret, he took one hand out of his warm pocket to grab his phone, taking with the call with quickly numbing hands.

“Hello?” he asked, and white steam left his mouth. He felt oddly like a dragon.

“Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo asked him. Soft party music played in the background, and people laughed, and it just seemed so warm, and for a second Baekhyun actually felt jealous not being at the business party he was supposed to have attended that night. “Where are you? ”

“Out on the cold streets feeling like my fingers are about to freeze off thanks to a certain somebody calling me,” he told Kyungsoo, teeth chattering.

“What are you doing out on the streets?” Kyungsoo asked incredulously. “You’re supposed to be attending this function with me! You’re leaving me to die by hungry, carnivorous beasts!”

“Oops, sorry,” Baekhyun said, not feeling sorry at all. Except he was. But that was only because he was too cold to understand what he was thinking.

“Ugh,” Kyungsoo grumbled at him.

Baekhyun opened his mouth to tease Kyungsoo but then arms wrapped around his middle, pulling him against a tall, warm body. Baekhyun knew who it was automatically.

“Sorry, ‘Soo,” he said absently, already turning around. “Gotta go.” He cut off Kyungsoo’s protest with a press of his thumb.

Chanyeol grinned at him, arms still wrapped snuggly around Baekhyun’s waist. His entire face was red from the cold, and the sight was just so endearing that Baekhyun leaned up on his tip-toes to kiss Chanyeol’s nose, uncaring of who could potentially see it. Well, not that anyone smart was on the streets anyway.

“Hey,” Chanyeol said huskily, wiggling his eyebrows. Baekhyun smothered a grin - Chanyeol was just trying too hard to be sexy. “How was your day today?”

“Well,” Baekhyun said, scrunching up his face in thought. “It could have been better if I hadn’t been told to wait for someone out in this ridiculously cold weather.” However, with Chanyeol near him, Baekhyun was starting to feel warmer already. He didn’t admit that to Chanyeol though.

“Sorry,” Chanyeol said, immediately concerned. “I didn’t make you wait that long, did I?”

Baekhyun laughed, waving off Chanyeol’s worry. “Not too long,” he said. “And besides, you can do something to make it better.” He smiled suggestively. Chanyeol raised an eyebrow, amused.

“And what is that?”

“Warm up my lips,” Baekhyun told him solemnly, puckering up his own lips as an explanation. Chanyeol snorted and grinned, before leaning down and giving Baekhyun the kiss he had wanted. Their lips slid over each other’s, hot and cold at the same time, before Chanyeol broke the contact. Baekhyun swiped his tongue over his lips, feeling them tingle softly.

Chanyeol’s eyes were dark as he pulled away, loving, and the sight stole Baekhyun’s breath just looking at it. He would never get tired of seeing it.

Baekhyun’s ears and nose were still numb, and his face felt like it was going to ice over soon, but it was all worth it.

Glancing up at Chanyeol, he could only smile with cold, frozen cheeks. Everything was worth it.

And that was all that mattered.

fin.

edit: thanks for the 70+ combined comments!