[oneshot] A Journal of Conquests 3/5

[minwhore]

<<

“Whose concert are we going to, anyway?” Jongin asked Kyungsoo as they drove down the highway toward the concert venue. The street lights were already on as nightfall slowly descended upon the city. The night was young, though, and people were abundant on the streets as they hurried home from work or dinner.

It’d slipped from his mind to ask Kyungsoo about the concert, what with all the things he’d had to worry about recently. He figured it shouldn’t matter too much. No matter what, he was determined to enjoy tonight. It would do him good to just get out and have some fun, and let his worries fade away like the sun.

Kyungsoo’s silence spoke volumes though.

Jongin glanced over when Kyungsoo didn’t answer him, about to repeat his question when he was stopped by the sheepish expression on Kyungsoo’s face.

As if he could feel Jongin’s eyes on him, Kyungsoo glanced at him. He spared an embarrassed smile.

“We’re going to Ryeowook’s solo concert,” Kyungsoo said, a little bashfully. Jongin searched his head for the name Ryeowook, and it took him a bit to remember that Ryeowook was an idol who was part of a bigger group called Super Junior. Kyungsoo continued, “We work for the same company. We’re really good friends, so he sent me some tickets.”

Jongin blinked and shrugged after some consideration. “Okay,” he said easily.

Kyungsoo seemed a bit stunned at his acceptance.

“You’re fine with that?” Kyungsoo asked, voice confused. Jongin glanced over to find Kyungsoo staring at him, wide-eyed. He frowned.

“Why wouldn’t I be fine with that?” Now it was his turn to be bewildered.

Kyungsoo looked away, breaking eye contact as his fingers drummed silently against his knee. He didn’t say anything at first, just studied Jongin out of the corner of his eyes. He was observing Jongin quietly, as if he’d never seen anyone like him before. Jongin tried to guess at what Kyungsoo was thinking, but in the end gave up. He knew better than to try.

He looked forward, letting Kyungsoo come to his own conclusions.

“You just don’t seem like the type who would even enjoy listening to this...genre...of music,” Kyungsoo said finally. There was hesitation in his tone, a quizzical lilt. Jongin wondered if he should be offended but decided against it with a wry grin.

“And what kind of music do I look like I’d enjoy listening to?” Jongin questioned, and grinned at his car’s dashboard when he heard Kyungsoo begin to ramble. He listened a bit, humoring Kyungsoo with the artists he thought Jongin would listen to, before interrupting, “So pretty much what you’re saying is that you expected my taste in music to be horrible.”

“No!” Kyungsoo protested immediately, and then shrunk in his seat. He sighed. “Okay, yes, but that’s not what my point-”

Jongin snorted at that, looking at Kyungsoo with fond disappointment. “You seem to have a lot of misconceptions about me. This makes me sad.” He pouted, grinning when Kyungsoo let out a chuckle. Jongin turned the car into the parking area of the concert venue, searching quickly for an empty spot up close to the concert entrance. The street lights slowly blinked to life, casting partial shadows through the rows of cars.

“I hate parking,” Jongin muttered, and flinched when Kyungsoo tapped him to get his attention. Kyungsoo was pointing to the front of the parking area excitedly.

“There’s a good spot still open over there!” he said, words rushing out his mouth. Jongin didn’t think twice, and stepped on the gas quickly to try and get to the parking Kyungsoo had seen before a different car did. Even now, more cars were steadily pouring in, and if they lost this spot, there would be a chance they’d end up having to park even further away.

His laziness refused to let that happen.

He rounded the corner and glimpsed at another car coming from the other side, and he frantically searched for the empty spot as Kyungsoo continued to point at seemingly nothing.

Then he saw it.

I am going to get that spot, Jongin thought, almost dramatically, completely unaware he’d said that out loud. He glared at the car opposite of him, watching the way the driver spotted the empty space as well. No way in hell was he letting someone else take his parking.

“Get it, get it,” Kyungsoo cheered him on, looking far more amused than he should be for some odd reason. Jongin didn’t spare him a glance as he sped the car up.

He slid into the empty parking just seconds before the other car could, pumping his fists in the air victoriously. He resisted the urge to turn around and watch the other car leave, and noticed then that Kyungsoo was laughing.

He wrinkled his nose and snapped out a, “What?”

This seemed to set Kyungsoo off again, and Kyungsoo frantically shook his head as he tried to muffle his laughter with a hand. Jongin’s lips twitched at the sound of the infectious laughter, and before he knew it, he was grinning as well. He quickly righted his grin into a frown.

“Sorry,” Kyungsoo gasped when he was finally calm enough to talk. He wiped a few tears from his face and smiled brilliantly at Jongin. “It seems you were right. I do have some really horrible misconceptions of you.”

And for some reason, that made Jongin smile all over again.

Jongin ended up having a good time at the concert. They had great seats, and Ryeowook (much to Jongin’s surprise) was a great live singer.

Every once in a while, Jongin would glimpse at some cameras being pointed at Kyungsoo, but the idol seemed to think nothing of it. He must’ve been used to it already, Jongin thought. He wondered what felt like, to have people taking pictures of you everywhere you went. Must be tiring.

His thoughts were interrupted when Kyungsoo began to sing along softly to one of the ballads. His voice was soft, a mere undertone covered by Ryeowook’s voice through the audio system, but if Jongin leaned in just close enough, the words from Kyungsoo’s mouth became clearer, his voice more haunting and memorable. He closed his eyes, a slight smile on his face as he listened to Kyungsoo sing.

Jongin loved Kyungsoo’s voice.

A man walked up to Kyungsoo half-way through the concert, dressed in all black with a communicator attacked to his ear. Kyungsoo seemed to know him, a spark of recognition in his face. He nodded to the man in acknowledgement, and his nod was returned with a bow.

Jongin couldn’t properly identify Mister Mysterious with all the bright, colorful lights flashing in through the darkness. Ryeowook was up on stage, performing one of his faster-paced songs, the stage dimly lit and the spotlight solely on the performer. Nevertheless, Jongin squinted at the man suspiciously when he went up to talk to Kyungsoo, whispering urgently in his ear.

Kyungsoo listened, puzzled at first, but understanding the next. He nodded at the man and turned to Jongin and leaned it, close enough for Jongin to smell the subtle cologne he was wearing.

“I’ll be right back,” Kyungsoo said, and left before Jongin could even voice a small protest.

Jongin stared after his retreating back.

It was another twenty minutes before Jongin saw Kyungsoo again. Jongin was sulking in his seat, no longer watching the concert. He realized quickly after Kyungsoo had left that the only reason he’d been having so much fun before was because Kyungsoo was there to point out parts of the dances, to tell him the hidden meaning about the songs, and to enthusiastically gush over a really good stage. Without Kyungsoo by him, Jongin felt like his eyes had been taken away.

He could no longer see anything good, and instead ignored everything happening around him with indifference.

Ryeowook was cooling down on stage, interacting with fans through his hand mic when he made the announcement.

“A friend has come to watch my concert,” he said, smiling. Jongin sat up, wondering if Ryeowook was talking about Kyungsoo. “And he’s graciously agreed to do a quick duet with me before the final song.” Ryeowook paused there, listening to the crowd whisper as they wondered excitedly about the special stage.

“Please help me welcome Do Kyungsoo,” Ryeowook said, a tad bit too extravagantly for Jongin’s taste, but then the crowd began to roar in approval, and all Jongin could see was Kyungsoo walking out from behind the set and onto the stage.

He was wearing a soft colored shirt that accentuated his pale skin, and dark skinny jeans that made his legs look longer than they actually were. After a bit of staring on his part, Jongin realized with a shock that Kyungsoo was also wearing make-up.

Huh, he thought, blinking. He knew idols wore make-up, but it was still surprising.

Kyungsoo walked into the lit part of the stage and paused, staring out at the audience. He seemed to be searching for something in the full, packed sea of seats, so Jongin raised his hand in the air and waved slightly. Then Kyungsoo’s eyes were on his, and Jongin was gifted with a smile sweet and warming.

Jongin couldn’t help smiling back.

Kyungsoo introduced himself politely, bowing deeply and smiling for the fans that cheered at his entrance. Ryeowook went over, draping himself onto Kyungsoo with a friendly grin that made some fangirls to Jongin’s far right scream and flail happily. He eyed them in distaste, scrunching up his face.

He didn’t know why they were screaming for Kyungsoo and Ryeowook, he thought meanly, glancing away with a huff. He was far cuter with Kyungsoo than Ryeowook could ever be.

No, he was not pouting.

Ryeowook and Kyungsoo made some small talk on stage before Ryeowook eventually walked away from Kyungsoo to introduce the song they’d be singing. He bowed, then the lights dimmed and a faint melody drifted from seemingly nowhere.

Ryeowook’s voice weaved into the music, slow and steady, before Kyungsoo’s voice melted into the pool of sound.

Jongin couldn’t take his eyes off of the stage.

If he’d learned anything at all from being with Kyungsoo lately, it was that Kyungsoo sang with all of his heart. He gave little pieces of himself out in each note, infused himself so much within the song he was singing until he wasn’t Kyungsoo anymore, but a person telling a story they’ve experienced firsthand.

Jongin had seen it in action before, when he went with Kyungsoo that day to watch him practice, but seeing an actual performance, seeing Kyungsoo giving his everything to sing just this one song, raised the hairs on his arms. A shiver passed through him, and another when Kyungsoo crooned out a raspy, “I loved you.”

Kyungsoo was amazing.

And Jongin had to wonder why he didn’t see that in the first place.

As per Mister Mysterious’ orders, Jongin drove his car to the back of the building and went inside through the dingy, metal door that was set partially open for him. He made sure to completely shut it after he got inside; he knew that if he left it open, the fangirls would swarm around it like fruit flies to a ripe banana.

He walked down the plain white corridor, following the sounds of chatter and loud laughter as it echoed down the hallways. He could barely hear the sound of his own footsteps against the dirty white tiles as he neared the noise, and sped up his steps, knowing that he was close. Excitement bubbled in the pit of his stomach; he couldn’t wait to see Kyungsoo again, to congratulate Kyungsoo on a job well done.

Rounding the corner, he paused.

Standing outside the door to what Jongin assumed was Ryeowook’s room was Kyungsoo, staring blankly at the bare wall across from him. He wondered what was wrong, for Kyungsoo to have such a contemplating expression on his face. Jongin had expected to see Kyungsoo in the room with Ryeowook and the staff as they celebrated on finishing the concert successfully, not standing outside in a lonely silence.

Jongin slowly walked forward, his heart racing in his chest. He felt nervous for some reason, nervous and excited. He had to resist the temptation to walk over to Kyungsoo faster; his pride wouldn’t allow him to ruin his already battered cool and dignified image.

Kyungsoo caught sight of him after a few steps, looking up to see who was coming around the corner, staring quietly as Jongin continued to approach him.

What did he look like in Kyungsoo’s eyes? he asked himself silently as he stared back. Did he look as stiff and awkward as he felt, or did Kyungsoo see something entirely different? Did he look calm and relaxed? Did he look worried? Did he look rich, or poor, or nice, or mean? There was something inside him itching to know these things, and Jongin felt at a loss when he found that he couldn’t stop the thoughts from running amok inside his head.

He stopped two steps away from Kyungsoo, unable to look away. Despite the loud talking going on just behind the closed door a few meters away, the hallway silent, still. Kyungsoo looked up at him, and something about his gaze made Jongin’s mouth dry. He swallowed, and didn’t miss the glance Kyungsoo did to look at his Adam’s apple as it bobbed with the motion.

“Congrats,” he finally said as his cheeks lifted into a hesitant smile.

“What for?” Kyungsoo asked curiously, his own eyes crinkling.

“You were amazing back there,” Jongin said, gesturing a hand toward where he thought the stage would be. “How come you didn’t tell me you’d be performing?”

Kyungsoo shrugged, looking embarrassed as he shoved his hands into his jean pockets. He confessed, “I didn’t know I’d be performing.”

Jongin blinked.

“You didn’t know you’d be singing today?” he asked, a little surprised. It had sounded like Kyungsoo had been completely prepared to sing the duet.

“No.” Kyungsoo shook his head, ruffling up his hair. “I haven’t been practicing that song, and it could have been a disaster. I’m glad nothing went wrong today.”

Wow, Jongin thought, eyes wide with awe. Just when he thought he’d finally grasped the true extent of Kyungsoo’s talent, Kyungsoo had to go and surprise him even more.

“You’re amazing,” Jongin breathed out, and on an impulse reached up and skimmed his fingers along the side of Kyungsoo’s face. He realized what he was doing a second later when Kyungsoo’s surprised eyes glanced down at his hand.

Jongin snatched his hand back quickly, and his cheeks felt hot as he looked away. He didn’t know what was going on with him, and that bothered him. He was used to touching people to get what he wanted, did all his actions consciously and with a clear mind. Only with Kyungsoo did he not seem to realize what he was doing, and that troubled him.

Kyungsoo bent down slowly, and Jongin turned his head back around when he felt fingers gently fitting into the spaces between his own. Dazed, he watched as Kyungsoo lifted their hands together to press the back of Jongin’s hand against his cheek. Jongin searched Kyungsoo’s face for a reason, but found a light blush instead. Something melted inside of him then, and he couldn’t help but smile when he felt it.

Kyungsoo lifted his eyes to lock gazes with Jongin, and something heavy and indescribable passed between them.

Then Kyungsoo smiled a smile that Jongin had never seen before, full of happiness and sincerity, and said softly, “Thank you.”

They left the building soon afterwards, their hands still clasped tightly together.

A few days later, Jongin found himself surfing the web for information on Kyungsoo when he happened upon some rather interesting information.

Kyungsoo’s birthday, from what Jongin got off the internet, was right before his own. He eyed the computer screen in front of him contemplatively, mind already miles away as he sought to think of a suitable gift for Kyungsoo. His fingers brushed against the wood of the desk idly, back and forth and back again, before he made a face and went back to using the computer, this time searching, “birthday gifts.”

He went through what felt like a million different ideas before he paused on one, considering. He narrowed his eyes at it, scrutinizing it, and then smiled giddily. He pushed himself up from the chair, quickly brought the lid to the laptop down, and hopped out of the house happily.

He had a little inkling of what to get Kyungsoo for his birthday.

After buying his present for Kyungsoo, Jongin spent the rest of the day searching for a few extra things he wanted to give with the present as well. He awkwardly found himself in a crafts store, surrounded by an assortment of colorful items. However, as he was walking down the aisles, another idea came to him and he grinned. He ended up buying some colorful paper to write on, bought a nice permanent marker to write with, and sat down at the park close by to write things down onto the pieces of paper. Jongin made sure to scribble a few little drawings and decorations onto each paper as well.

A few hours passed until he finally finished.

He picked up the stack of papers victoriously, carefully shoving them back into the bag. He checked to make sure that they wouldn’t wrinkle too badly before he got up from the bench. Wincing when his spine and tailbone gave a sound protest, he stretched a little to relieve the pain before walking back to his car.

The sunset accompanied him. He swung the bags from his arms happily, a smile on his face as he watched the kids continue to play soccer in the ruined snow despite the dimming light.

He reached his car and got in, checking his text messages idly. He noted with surprise that five were from Kyungsoo and one from Luhan. A spike of worry hit him. Had something happened while he was gone?

Jongin checked them, skimming through the messages sent to him quickly before relaxing with a relieved sigh. They’d just been concerned about where he went.

sorry i didn’t tell you i’d be going out. i didn’t mean to worry you, he typed out in a new text to Kyungsoo. i’m coming home now though, so i’ll see you in a few minutes!

He sent the message, smiled, and pulled his sunglasses on. A giddy feeling bubbled up in his stomach.

He was going home.

Taemin called him as he pulled up into the driveway to Luhan’s house. He pushed his sunglasses lower and tilted his face down, eyeing his phone from over the top edge of his glasses warily. His fingers twitched to grab his cell phone, used to picking up all of Taemin’s calls, but he stopped before he could take his hands off of the steering wheel as he caught sight of something.

Kyungsoo’s reply to his text message was scrolling across the notification bar.

Don’t worry about it. Come back soon! :)

Jongin glanced from his ringing phone to Luhan’s house then back before he made a decision.

He grabbed his cell, hesitated, and then finally shut it down.

And he left it like that, abandoned in the darkness of his room with his shopping bags, as he talked and laughed the last few hours of the day away with Kyungsoo in the living room. He didn’t regret it one bit.

Before Jongin could blink, Kyungsoo’s birthday arrived (with much noise and fanfare, to Jongin’s annoyance). Kyungsoo’s manager stumbled into Luhan’s house with heaps of birthday gifts for the idol, and it took a few trips from the van to the house before they could get all the nicely decorated boxes situated.

Jongin planted his hands onto his knees, trying to catch his breath after the unexpected workout. What in the name of all that was holy could people give as gifts that would weigh so much?! He scrunched up his face in irritation, swiping at the small patch of sweat he felt on his forehead.

“Hey, Jongin,” Kyungsoo’s manager called, and Jongin straightened up, looking over curiously. He was greeted with a nice smile before the manager said, “Can you please wake Kyungsoo up?”

Jongin smirked, tossing his head. “Sure thing,” he said, winking as he headed up to Kyungsoo’s room. Kyungsoo’s manager laughed at him, shaking his head just as Jongin lost sight of the first floor.

He walked down the hallway and stopped in front of Kyungsoo’s door, pressing his ear curiously to it as he wondered if Kyungsoo was up yet. Kyungsoo was generally an early riser, so the fact that he might still be sleeping at 10 a.m. was a bit weird to Jongin.

When he heard nothing, he frowned and cautiously knocked on the door. No one answered. He tried again, but still nothing.

He debated on whether to open the door or not before he eventually shrugged and opened the door tentatively. Poking his head in, his eyebrows raised in puzzlement when he realized Kyungsoo’s bed was empty.

“Kyungsoo?” he called, confused as he stepped into the room. Kyungsoo’s bed was already made, his room neat and tidy like usual. The curtains had been drawn already to reveal the nice view Kyungsoo had, and Jongin wandered over to it, looking at the winter wonderland outside. He pressed his palm to the glass absently, andjumped back when he realized the window was freezing. He sneered at the glass, then went on to find Kyungsoo.

He turned around, about to leave as he thought about the rooms Kyungsoo might have went into, before a door on Jongin’s left opened. Steam poured from the bathroom door, and out stepped Kyungsoo, wearing big, white pajamas as he toweled off his hair.

Kyungsoo and Jongin blinked at each other.

“Did you need something?” Kyungsoo asked, a surprised smile spreading over his face. Jongin grinned back, his heart beating quickly at the sight, and bowed with a flourish, gesturing grandly toward the door leading to the hallway.

“Your presents await you,” Jongin said, looking up to see Kyungsoo staring at him, amusement drawn onto his face. Soft hands smoothed his frayed hair down, and Jongin allowed himself to be pulled up. Kyungsoo straightened out Jongin’s shirt with excessive flourish, as if he was mocking Jongin’s extravagant bow from earlier, with a teasing smile.

He stepped back and grinned up at Jongin.

“You’re up awfully early,” Kyungsoo observed. “Is there any particular reason why?”

Jongin made a face, immediately denying it as he looked away. Kyungsoo snorted in disbelief, shaking his head fondly. Honestly, Jongin thought as he glared at Kyungsoo, why was Kyungsoo so perceptive about everything?

The truth was, Jongin had gotten up early to wrap his own gift for Kyungsoo. Wrapping gifts wasn’t for him though, and he had to struggle to finally wrap the present up messily. In the end, he had just left it like that as he laughed at himself, feeling foolish and silly. Why was he trying so hard to wrap a damn present anyway?

Kyungsoo was still laughing at Jongin when he began to head out of the room. Jongin raised his head from its stubborn turn, and found Kyungsoo grinning at him, a hand on the doorknob.

“Well?” Kyungsoo asked, raising an eyebrow. “Are you coming or what?”

Jongin went.

It was already night time when Jongin decided to bring out his own present for Kyungsoo. He slipped away from the assortment of birthday presents piled high in front of him, unheard and unseen as Kyungsoo, his manager, Luhan, and Baekhyun continued to chat on in the living room by the warmth of the fireplace. He slowly, carefully made his way up the stairs, sidestepping the creaky wood on the ground once he reached reached the second floor.

He entered his room quietly, and picked up the two packages he’d hid under his bed. Then he slunk out of his doorway, carefully balancing the two boxes in one hand as the other closed his door. He crept across the hallway to Kyungsoo’s room, placed the boxes onto Kyungsoo’s bed, and then walked back down to the living room, completely satisfied with himself. He felt a lot like a ninja.

Kyungsoo spotted him as soon as he reached the bottom of the stairs, and Jongin tried to not let the smile that bloomed onto Kyungsoo’s face affect him.

“Hey!” Kyungsoo greeted him as he sat down onto the cushion next to Kyungsoo. “Where did you disappear off to?”

“The bathroom,” Jongin lied easily, shrugging as he got himself comfortable. He glanced at Kyungsoo, quirking his lips into a smirk. “Did you want to come with me, birthday boy?”

Kyungsoo let out a laugh, smiling innocently. The playful glint in his eyes spoke a different story though. “Of course I did,” Kyungsoo said, cocking his head and practically batting his wide eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going?”

Baekhyun snorted hard at that, then recovered and looked away nonchalantly, as if he hadn’t just been listening in on their conversation. Luhan and Kyungsoo’s manager pointedly ignored them as they continued talking about the entertainment industry and how much competition Luhan would have once he finished filming his first movie.

“Sorry,” Jongin said, trying for sincerity. The amused glance Kyungsoo sent him out of the corner of his eyes told Jongin that he was failing. “I’ll tell you next time I go to the bathroom, then.”

“See that you do,” Kyungsoo said graciously.

“Have you two fucked yet?” Baekhyun asked suddenly, a wide smile on his lips as he looked between Jongin and Kyungsoo. They looked away from each other, turning to stare at Baekhyun with incredulous expressions. Kyungsoo’s manager and Luhan were giving Baekhyun surprised looks as well.

“Why are you asking?” Kyungsoo asked, completely curious. There was a note in his voice that told Jongin that he had an inkling of suspicion about why Baekhyun asked. Jongin decided to keep his mouth shut.

Baekhyun opened his mouth to reply (and possibly with more vulgarity), before Luhan elbowed him in the stomach hard. Jongin could hear the air whoosh out of Baekhyun’s lungs and winced in sympathy as he watched Baekhyun hunch in over himself.

“Don’t worry about it, Kyungsoo,” Luhan said with a nice smile, pretending like he hadn’t just hit the breath out of Baekhyun. Jongin narrowed his eyes at Luhan and fought the shiver that wanted to go up his spine; the soon-to-be actor gave him the chills sometimes. Good thing he had something to hold over Luhan’s head or he would’ve seen that smile a long time ago.

Kyungsoo’s manager stood, prompting the rest of them to stand.

“I think it’s about time for me to begin heading home,” he said, giving a pained little groan as he tried to stretch himself out. Jongin ignored the sound of the manager’s popping joints, instead running a hand through his hair.

“Mm,” Baekhyun hummed, nodding. “It’s getting late, so I should probably leave now, too.”

Everyone said their farewells to Baekhyun and Kyungsoo’s manager as the two slipped into their winter gear. Luhan stood off to a few meters away from Baekhyun, not touching Baekhyun at all as they said their goodbyes. Jongin watched them curiously, a little furrow in his brow, before he remembered that Luhan was still in the closet and that Jongin was pretty much the only one who knew about them fucking.

He studied their expressions closely. Luhan seemed a little uncomfortable, but Baekhyun appeared to be the same as always, loud and laughing. He resisted the urge to sigh; Baekhyun was sometimes the best actor when he wanted to be, and if there was one thing he knew about Baekhyun, it was that he hated to show any weaknesses.

They’d have to work out whatever was going on between them by themselves, Jongin thought to himself as he waved goodbye from the couch.

As if he could hear Jongin’s thoughts, Kyungsoo glanced over at him, then over to Baekhyun and Luhan. Jongin blinked, staring at Kyungsoo. Had his thoughts been so plain on his face?

He stole a glance at the others, but none of them seemed to be paying attention to him. Well, even if his thoughts had been clear on his face, no one besides Kyungsoo had caught them, so it wasn’t like it mattered.

Everyone moved toward the door to the house, and Jongin snatched a jacket up for both himself and Kyungsoo. He wasn’t exactly sure they’d use them, but he supposed being ready would pay off if they ended up having to go outside in the freezing snow. The weather was cold and icy during the day, but so much worse at night, and Jongin, for one, was not planning on spending the rest of his winter break with a cold.

The others were still chatting with Baekhyun and Kyungsoo’s manager when they finally made it to the front door. Jongin slipped into a space right next to Kyungsoo, like he belonged there, and silently held Kyungsoo’s jacket out for Kyungsoo to grab.

Kyungsoo glanced down at his hand in silent surprise before he offered Jongin a small, grateful smile as he took the jacket from Jongin’s hand. Their fingers brushed in that time, and Jongin’s whole hand tingled at the contact.

Baekhyun broke away from the group with a laugh as he took hold of the doorknob. “But seriously, we need to get going before the snow comes down again,” he said apologetically, and Jongin almost missed the quick, wistful glance Baekhyun sent to Luhan. Luhan still seemed to be trying to ignore Baekhyun. Jongin resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose in irritation.

And then they all went out in the biting winter weather.

Jongin shivered in his small jacket, thankful that he had at least a little sense to grab something to cover himself up with. He eyed Luhan (but not in worry, no) when he realized that all Luhan was wearing was a thin sweater.

Baekhyun waved goodbye, almost bumping into the igloo that Jongin and Kyungsoo had built a few weeks ago before he stumbled away with another laugh. Kyungsoo’s manager spared them a small wave over the shoulder as Baekhyun and him walked away.

Luhan watched them until they were out of sight.

Kyungsoo was shivering next to him, breath coming out as steamy little white puffs. Jongin frowned and glanced over at Luhan.

“Hey, we need to get back inside,” he called, and when Luhan didn’t move, he wondered if Luhan had heard him at all. Wasn’t the guy freezing? he wondered to himself silently. Jongin was wearing more layers that Luhan was and he was still cold.

But Luhan jerked into motion, as if coming out of a daze, and stumbled past where Jongin and Kyungsoo stood into the warm house. Jongin and Kyungsoo shared a wordless look before following.

“I’m going to go to bed for now,” Luhan told them once they got in, already walking his way up to the second floor. “Happy birthday again, Kyungsoo!”

“Thanks! Good night!” Kyungsoo called after him, getting himself situated in front of the fire again. He seemed to be basking in the heat of the flames, a small, comforted smile on his face. Jongin swallowed, slowly taking off his jacket, his eyes glued to the peaceful expression on Kyungsoo’s face.

“Come sit over here,” Kyungsoo said, glancing over to Jongin with an inviting crinkle of his eyes. He was patting at the space next to him gently. Jongin made his way over, hyper aware of the eyes following him as he sat down.

They both faced forward awkwardly after that. Jongin almost felt the urge to twiddle his thumbs but he restrained himself. Small, bright sparks flared around the edges of the fire and caught his attention just as they died off.

The fire felt almost too hot after being out in the freezing weather, Jongin thought, staring absently into the flames. But it felt good, and he closed his eyes to the sensation of heat radiating against the skin of his face.

“So,” Kyungsoo said, breaking the silence. Jongin opened his eyes and saw Kyungsoo looking at him from the corner of his eyes, a playful smile twitching on his lips. “Did you get me a birthday present?”

Jongin pretended to sneer. “You got all of this,” he said, gesturing to all the boxes piled up around them, “and you still want more?”

Kyungsoo shrugged, remorseless. He said seriously, “There can never be enough presents.”

“Well, that’s all you’ll be getting today,” Jongin said, shrugging as he lied again. “I didn’t get you any presents because I didn’t know about your birthday until yesterday.” Kyungsoo frowned and completely pouted at that, and Jongin wondered if that was real disappointment on Kyungsoo’s face or if it was just an act.

He stood up impulsively, looking down on Kyungsoo. He was about to grab Kyungsoo’s hand, but then stopped himself, and instead grabbed his jacket before walking to the stairs.

“I’m getting tired so I think I’m going to turn in myself,” he said, straight faced. “You should head up to your bed soon. It’s late already.”

Kyungsoo smiled, but it seemed a little forced. “I’ll head up in a minute. I think I’m going to sit in front of the fire a little bit more.”

Jongin hesitated on a step when he heard that, hand resting lightly on the cool, wooden guardrail. He had wanted to be awake when Kyungsoo saw the presents laid out on his bed. However, Kyungsoo seemed intent on staying out until the fire began to die, and, as Jongin eyed the fireplace, that would be at least another forty-five minutes. He sighed lightly, feeling a little dissatisfied at the thought of not being able to see Kyungsoo’s reaction, before continuing up the stairwell.

He’d just have to wait the next day to hear Kyungsoo’s thoughts about it.

Jongin was already about to fall asleep when his door quietly opened. The light from the hallway cast a long shadow against the carpeted floor of his room. He blinked groggily, a little irritated at whoever was interrupting his sleep, before he realized who the shadow belonged to.

“Kyungsoo?” he muttered, sitting up as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes regretfully. The door, which had begun to close again, paused, and slowly opened again.

Kyungsoo crept into his room, looking a little embarrassed as he held something in his hands. Jongin squinted at Kyungsoo’s dark frame, and the small light from the hallway allowed him to see the Digital Polaroid Camera he’d gotten Kyungsoo as a present in Kyungsoo’s grip. He smiled sleepily.

“I see you opened your present,” Jongin commented, his voice awfully husky despite the fact that he hadn’t slept yet. He tried to clear his throat subtly.

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo muttered, his face angled down so that Jongin couldn’t see the expression he was wearing. Jongin yawned, blinking reflective tears from his eyes.

“So?” he asked, wanting to hear what Kyungsoo thought about it. “Do you like it? Or should I just take it back and get you something else?”

“You said you didn’t get me anything,” Kyungsoo said instead of answering his questions, sounding confused as he continued to look down at the floor. Jongin wished that Kyungsoo would look up already. It bothered him not being able to see Kyungsoo’s face.

He hummed, unsure of how to reply to that. He frowned, turning Kyungsoo’s words around in his head thoughtfully. Was it just him or did the other sound a little upset? He felt his stomach drop from the connotations of that.

“I’m guessing you didn’t like it then,” Jongin said, forcing his tone to be light and nonchalant. It stung a little to know that Kyungsoo hadn’t liked the gift he’d picked out more than it should have, but it wasn’t like he could do anything about it. Maybe next time he’d pick out a better gift. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed, about to get up to take the camera away from Kyungsoo, when Kyungsoo shook his head, grip tightening around the camera.

“No,” Kyungsoo said, and he finally looked up, a soft, soft smile on his face. “I love it. Thank you.”

Jongin’s heart thumped loudly at the sight, and he couldn’t help but stare before a smile overtook his own face.

“I’m glad,” he breathed and sat back down onto his bed. The room fell silent.

It was strange, he thought, to experience so many awkward silences with one person. There was only once or twice in his life that he remembered feeling awkward, not speaking, before he’d known Kyungsoo. Normally conversation came easy to him - manipulation came easy to him. But this was different. Words stuck in his throat as easy as glue with Kyungsoo, and his nerves seemed to skyrocket.

But it wasn’t a bad experience, no. It was a normal experience, and he liked that. He liked being able to be normal for once. Normal was something he didn’t get to feel often, after all.

Before Jongin realized it, Kyungsoo had walked over to where Jongin was seated on the bed. Jongin caught a glimpse of a slip of paper hiding behind the camera before he glanced up. He couldn’t look away from Kyungsoo’s eyes after that.

Kyungsoo seemed hesitant, but there was something about his facial expression that made Jongin’s heart rate speed up. His palms grew clammy, and he suddenly had difficulties breathing. It was like a suffocatingly good pressure on his chest, and it only doubled when Kyungsoo leaned down.

“I love the little coupons you left me too,” Kyungsoo said, his minty, sweet breath fanning against Jongin’s lips. He must’ve brushed his teeth before coming over, Jongin thought, stupefied. “Is it alright if I use one already?”

Jongin, in a daze about what was happening, just nodded mutely.

Kyungsoo’s hands were gently cupping his face, his lean body between Jongin’s thighs. He felt good there, Jongin thought, his eyes sliding shut. And then Kyungsoo’s lips were on his, soft and tentative, a gentle brush that sent a thrill running down Jongin’s spine. He shivered and brought his hands up to grasp at Kyungsoo’s elbows, as if he needed something to hold onto as emotions crashed through him.

And when the kiss ended, he sat there softly panting, eyes closed. Kyungsoo was still there, too, forehead against Jongin’s as they slowly breathed together.

Jongin slowly brought a hand up, cradling it over the hand on his jaw, before gently prying it away from his face. He grasped that hand in both of his own, and then pressed it to his heart.

His rapidly, dazedly beating heart.

When Jongin opened his eyes, Kyungsoo was staring at him, a happy smile on those lips that he’d just kissed. Kyungsoo’s smile widened when he saw Jongin open his eyes.

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo whispered.

And Jongin replied, “No, thank you.”

Later, when Kyungsoo left, Jongin looked down at the coupon Kyungsoo had returned to him. His eyes traced the black, permanent ink from the sharpie he’d used, barely visible in the dark room.

One free kiss with Kim Jongin.

He smiled, put it on the bedside table, and went to sleep, hugging onto the mustache pillow.

The next day was, unfortunately, a lot less pleasant. He’d woken up in a good enough mood, and had decided to turn on his cell phone for the first time in days. His good mood had ended there though, when he saw nearly one hundred calls and one-hundred and thirty-two text messages from his dear step-brother. He debated on whether to call Taemin back, or just ignore him for good.

He spent his morning shower fantasizing about ignoring Taemin forever.

Unfortunately, the thought also bothered him just as much as it made him happy. So, after checking Kyungsoo’s room to see the other still asleep, he left a little note on the kitchen counter before walking outside to his car.

He smiled idly at the igloo in front of Luhan’s house, still standing strong, as he passed it.

He made his way back into the city, humming softly to the radio as he tried to not think about what would happen in a few hours. No doubt Taemin was pissed at him, and an angry Taemin was a scary Taemin. Jongin couldn’t find it in himself to be upset with the decision he’d made, though.

He got to the apartment in less than an hour, though he had actually drove according to the speed limits for once. That displeased him, but in the end he decided that it was better like this. He needed to get this over and done with. If he hurried, maybe he’d be able to make it back before Kyungsoo woke up.

Parking his car, he got out and looked up to the row of windows that marked the flat he and Taemin shared together. He saw a figure by the living room window and winced, and made his way inside the building and up to the elevators. By the time he walked inside, Taemin was already waiting for him, face set in stone.

“I see you aren’t dead yet,” Taemin said, voice as chilly and biting as his stare. “Did you have a fun time with your little toy?”

“As charming as ever,” Jongin said back coldly, bumping his shoulder against Taemin to get into the apartment. He took off his jacket, ignoring Taemin glaring in the background as he draped it over the back of the couch and walked down the hallway into his bedroom. He was unbuttoning his shirt at the entrance of his closet when Taemin appeared in his doorway.

“So?” Taemin asked, making his way into Jongin’s room. Jongin ignored him, taking off his shirt and rustling inside his closet for something new. He needed to grab some new clothes as well, he thought, and stared at the assortment of shirts in front of him blankly.

Familiar, warm hands slid around his waist before a tall, lean body pressed against his back. Jongin froze, arms in the air as his fingers gripped at some hangers, when Taemin began to nibble at his neck. A shiver worked its way down his spine before he calmed himself down, letting out a silent exhale before removing himself from Taemin’s grasp.

He could feel Taemin’s angry, offended gaze boring holes into his back as he shrugged a shirt on.

“Did you say something?” Jongin asked him, and felt something like a burning victory in his gut at the look Taemin gave him. Then, as quickly as it had appeared, the look vanished, set into an intimidatingly thoughtful expression that sucked the feeling of victory away.

“He’s really getting to you, isn’t he?” Taemin asked, his eyebrows set in an unimpressed arched.

“And if he is?” Jongin fired back, narrowing his eyes. Taemin let out a bark of cruel laughter.

“You’re losing our bet because of some dumb infatuation you have for an idol?” Taemin asked, incredulous. He seemed entertained by the notion, shaking his head pityingly.

“I’m not losing the bet,” Jongin said flatly, irritated. He buttoned up his shirt to give his hands something to do. “It’s just taking me a little longer than I thought it would.”

Taemin smirked at that, fingers trailing up Jongin’s arms. Then he leaned in, so close that just the very outer layer of the skin of his lips brushed against Jongin’s.

“Get ready to lose those prized shoes of yours,” Taemin told him, then left the room without looking back.

Jongin spent the entire car ride back to Luhan’s house in fury, angry at Taemin, angry at Kyungsoo, and angry at himself. He seethed his way through the highways, yelling at slow cars and dumb drivers, encouraging even more resentment in him to bubble up. It was there, right under the surface of his skin, waiting to blow, waiting to be let out on someone.

He hit the car horn roughly when some idiot tried to get in his way, and then made his way around until he finally began to pull up the driveway to Luhan’s house.

He stalked into the house, irritation licking at his heels, and didn’t notice the igloo beginning to slowly melt.

Kyungsoo and Luhan were having lunch already, and they greeted him happily when he strode through the house. He ignored them fully, ignoring Kyungsoo’s hurt look, and made his way into his room.

The door closed with a bang.

Jongin spent the rest of the day simmering over his encounter with Taemin, furiously writing things in his journal over Taemin, Krystal, and even Kyungsoo. He poured his anger out, drained himself of the blistering heat under his skin, well into the night before exhaustion began to press against his worn, red eyes.

He stopped when there was a soft knock at his door, and looked up from his journal to take a glance at the clock. It was eleven. He closed his eyes wearily, put the pen down, and closed his journal.

“Jongin?” Kyungsoo’s hesitant, cautious voice asked through the door. “Are you going to eat? It’s not healthy to skip meals.”

Jongin pushed himself up from the chair.

”You’re losing our bet because of some dumb infatuation you have for an idol?” Taemin’s voice slithered through his mind, echoing in his ears as irritation ate at his heart. He was annoyed, still angry with himself - still angry at Kyungsoo for making him feel this way, but where there had been a nonsensical fury had now been replaced with a calm determination.

He was going to win that bet.

He forced a smile onto his lips and opened the door. Kyungsoo was standing on the other side, looking worried, faint creases lining his forehead as he frowned. He looked weird like that; he’d always thought that Kyungsoo looked better with a smile on his face. Instead of trying to soothe Kyungsoo’s worries though, Jongin quickly erased that thought.

“Are you okay?” Kyungsoo asked, peering up into Jongin’s eyes as if that would tell him everything.

“Sure,” Jongin said, shrugging. He stepped out of his room, closer to Kyungsoo and, when he didn’t see Kyungsoo backing away, took another step forward. Their breath mingled, and he leaned down, pressing his lips against Kyungsoo’s.

The kiss was different than the last one had been. It was forced, rough, aggressive. Jongin tried to control Kyungsoo through the kiss, tried to control his own thoughts and feelings until everything went blank. But it didn’t happen, and he grew desperate. He kissed like his life depended on it, like something was missing in his heart, like his thoughts and reasons for this kiss were dark. And Kyungsoo seemed to realize that, pushing away from him.

They parted soundlessly, looking away from each other as the distance between them began to grow.

“I don’t understand,” Jongin said suddenly, and looked at Kyungsoo. A burning sensation started up behind his eyes unexpectedly, taking him off guard. Kyungsoo glanced at him, face a little distrusting. Jongin said again, shaking his head, “I don’t understand.”

Kyungsoo quickly caught the meaning in his words.

“I don’t trust you enough,” Kyungsoo replied, pressing his lips together. And Jongin couldn’t do anything but stand there, frozen, as Kyungsoo left.

Eventually, he went back into his room. He sat down heavily onto his bed, staring at nothing, and stayed like that for what seemed like hours before he looked over to the clock.

It was midnight, and officially January 14th.

Happy fucking birthday to him.

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