Alive Pt 4
Title: Alive Pt 4
Author: limnological
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: TaengSic
Description: AU
The blonde doesn’t come visit the kids’ room anymore and something tells Taeyeon that it’s not because she doesn’t want to, but she can’t. Her skin is paler and she’s always in bed, sitting upright when Taeyeon visits.
She enters Jessica’s room with a small book in hand, taking her usual seat next to the bedside. It’s not the usual big picture book Jessica’s used to seeing Taeyeon haul around for the kids.
“What’s the book for?” Jessica’s eyebrow goes up as she stops folding her paper crane.
“What else is a book for?”
“You could use it to hit people with. At least, that’s what my teachers did to me.”
Taeyeon scrunches her face together at that thought. “I’d rather kick people than hit them with a book.”
“You and what legs?”
The book in Taeyeon’s hands almost goes flying, but she refrains from inflicting such an injury on Jessica’s head.
“We are nearly the same height!”
“Keep dreaming, kiddo.”
“Stop being a pain in the ass or I’ll leave for tonight.”
“Yeah, yeah. It’s already 8:30 anyway. Visiting hours are over in 30 minutes.”
“Hence the book. I’ve decided to read you bed time stories.”
“To what do I owe the pleasure to for a bed time story?”
“Consider it an early Christmas present.”
“Hey, hey. I am not five years old like the kids next door... Are you trying to distract me too?”
“Maybe. Now, shh.” Taeyeon shushes her as Jessica just scowls at her. Clearing her throat, she begins to read.
“Once upon a time there was a girl who wanted to learn how to shiver. She went to haunted houses and hung around in cemeteries and wandered the dark forest, but she was never afraid, and never shivered. She played with mad dogs and walked on high wires and leapt from tall trees, but she was never afraid and never shivered. She read tales of horror and tended the sick and had a witch foretell her death, but she was never afraid and she never shivered.
So she dove to the deep sea, and climbed the high mountains, and walked the wide desert alone; she lay down in tombs and fought ogres and dragons and chased after treasures; she became famous in the entire wide world. But she never did shiver, and she lamented this one night as she lay down with her lover.
And that night she finally shivered, but she was never afraid.”
Closing the short story book, she peeks at Jessica who has her eyes closed.
“How was your Christmas present?”
“Christmas? That was more like a Halloween horror story.”
“Did you shiver?”
“No.” Jessica said as she sticks her tongue out. “Why would anyone want to learn how to shiver?”
“That’s not the moral of the story.”
“Who wrote these silly tales?”
“A collection of authors. That one was from someone who enjoys walking in snow.”
“Pfft. What a bunch of weirdos.” She grumbles as she pulls the covers up further.
--
“Why are you smiling like that?” Jessica stares suspiciously at Taeyeon, “It’s creepy, stop it.”
Taeyeon just cackles a bit as she takes the usual seat.
“Last time, you said that the shivering story reminded you of a Halloween horror story. I’ve decided to read you a real spooky one tonight.”
“What? Why -”
“There is a folklore about hospitals where every night there will be three different specters floating. The first one is white and it hangs around the nurseries and birthing room. People who've seen it call it an angel as its presence meant that the delivery would go well and the baby will be safe.
The second is red and it often floats around the emergency wards and rooms that houses victims/patients who've been injured. Those who see it say that it's a terrible thing as all who met with it would be felt with indescribable anger and sorrow.
And the third is a saddening thing, gray and nondescript. Sometimes it'd be near the birthing rooms and sometimes near the wards. Often times, it is found near rooms which houses dying patients. For when people saw it, it meant that someone nearby was going to die. Sometimes it was a patient, sometimes it was a donor, but most of the time someone would die.”
“Stop!” Jessica clamps her hands down on her ears, shaking her head. “You are such an asshole for reading that to me.”
“But there’s more.” Taking in a fresh breath of air, she begins reading again.
Jessica quickly presses the button on the side of the bed, alerting Nurse Lee that she needs some assistance.
Taeyeon blinks twice at her antics and then laughs.
“Now you’ve done it.”
“This is your fault.”
“Tell that to Nurse Lee when she’s done throwing me out. I’m going to be exiled from this hospital at this rate.”
Jessica opens her mouth to counter, but the door slides open quickly, causing the both of them to force smiles at Nurse Lee.
“Hello.” They both guiltily greet her.
Next thing they know, Taeyeon’s banished for the night and it is only 7:30 P.M.
--
“Why don’t you read me normal fairytales?”
“What are ‘normal’ fairytales?”
“The ones that Disney pull… like Cinderella! You remind me of Cinderella.”
“What? How so?”
“Always leaving at the stroke of the hour. But instead of it being midnight, its nine o’clock here.”
“Pfft. If I’m Cinderella, does that make you Sleeping Beauty?”
“I always liked Aurora.”
“All she does is sleep.”
“Exactly.” Jessica snaps her fingers. “Most relatable princess for me.”
“You are so stupid.”
“I could also be Rapunzel. Take your pick.”
“You can’t just pick which Princess you want to be.”
“Who says? I’ve never had a knack for listening to rules, especially unspoken ones.”
Taeyeon just chuckles at that statement.
“This, I’ll have to agree with. We’ve broken so many rules I am surprised Nurse Lee hasn’t filed a restraining order on me.”
“She’s a softie under those mean stares and coarse words.”
“Sounds like someone I know.”
The corner of Jessica’s mouth just tugs up as she stays mute, finishing the last fold of the red paper crane.
--
Taeyeon’s eyebrows seriously furrow together as she stares at Jessica’s poor drawing skills on the piece of paper.
“Is that a drawing of a female titan throwing a clipboard at people?”
“It came to me in a dream.”
“I take back my theory of you being a closet romanticist. Are you sure you’re not sick in the head?”
“Hey, hey. I’m sick in the heart, okay.”
Taeyeon stops folding, listening intently for more. It’s the first time for Jessica to mention anything about her illness. Deciding to push it further, Taeyeon casually asks about the subject.
“What’s wrong with your heart?”
“Too many things.”
“Are you getting surgery?
“No. I’ve always had a knack for rejecting hearts. Should have seen those freshman boys in high school. One time…” Jessica’s voice trails off in the distance as Taeyeon tries to wrap her head around the hard truth.
The paper crane in her fingers becomes crinkly.
“Jessica.”
“Hrm?”
“How… how much longer?”
The atmosphere in the room suddenly becomes tense as Jessica just blinks twice at Taeyeon. She expects Jessica to show some sort of emotion besides indifference.
“Who knows?”
“You’re pretty calm about this.”
“The sooner I face reality, the less painful it’ll be.” She waves her hand off. “Enough of this talk, read me one of your stupid stories. It’s already 8:45.”
“They’re not stupid.”
“Uh huh.” Jessica mumbles as she pulls the covers up.
She was doing it again, cutting off the conversation when it came to her illness. Taeyeon takes in a deep breath, deciding to let Jessica win the battle again as she flipped open her book.
--
“I wonder if Hell has wheelchairs.” It’s the first thing that comes flying out of Jessica’s mouth as Taeyeon pushes the vacant wheelchair next to the bed. “Maybe I could ride one to Hell.”
“You talk about death very openly.”
“I’m a grown ass woman and so are you. No need to walk on eggshells like it’s a taboo topic. It’s coming whether we like it or not.”
“Are you afraid?”
“What’s there to be afraid of? It’s coming and being afraid will only make my last days a pain in the ass.”
“Sometimes, I can’t fathom the way you think.”
“Neither could my parents.” She grins widely and Taeyeon’s already imagining the headaches young rebellious Jessica must have caused.
“I’ve never met a person like you.”
“You probably never will. I’m one of a kind.”
She’s so full of it that Taeyeon wants to smack her upside the head sometimes.
“Just get in your wheelchair.”
--
It is Jessica who speaks first as Taeyeon wheels her down the hallway slowly.
“Which one of those little tykes are you related to?”
“None.”
“Hrm? Need some volunteer hours then?”
“Actually no.”
“Don’t tell me you’re one of those people with good souls who actually volunteer their own time and money for free?” Taeyeon can’t see Jessica’s face, but she can already imagine the blonde’s face scrunching up into skepticism.
“Hardly, I am far from it.”
“That makes two of us. Pretty sure I have a reserved room in Hell for me.”
“I’ll meet you there someday.”
This has Jessica chuckling. “So why do you do it?”
“Do you want me to be honest?”
“Haven’t we been honest with each other from the get-go?”
“Fair enough… Being here at the hospital, helping the children and you makes me feel alive. Keeps me sane.”
“Surrounding yourself with dying children and bitchy me keeps you sane?”
“It reminds me that life could be worse. I should be thankful for things I have.”
There is a five second pause before Jessica answers.
“That’s an optimistic way to look at things.”
A sad laugh escapes Taeyeon’s mouth.
“Let’s just both admit it’s sick and twisted.”
“Maybe, but what right do we have to judge something like that? Do what you want. At least while you can.”
Taeyeon knows that if this was a conversation with any normal human being, she’d be judged from head to toe and probably severed from any relationship she had with that person. But this isn’t.
This is a conversation with Jessica Jung, a woman whose personality is unique and basically had a LED sign above her head that said, ‘Come at me bro.’ She’s the walking epitome of someone who was ready for death and someone who doesn’t care for the world anymore. She’s special.
She’s special and Taeyeon suddenly remembers that she’s wheeling her down the corridor in a hospital. She met her in a hospital. She lives in this hospital.
And it’s then that the flashing red signs go off in Taeyeon’s head.
She’s becoming someone special to Taeyeon and she’s dying.
Author: limnological
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: TaengSic
Description: AU
The blonde doesn’t come visit the kids’ room anymore and something tells Taeyeon that it’s not because she doesn’t want to, but she can’t. Her skin is paler and she’s always in bed, sitting upright when Taeyeon visits.
She enters Jessica’s room with a small book in hand, taking her usual seat next to the bedside. It’s not the usual big picture book Jessica’s used to seeing Taeyeon haul around for the kids.
“What’s the book for?” Jessica’s eyebrow goes up as she stops folding her paper crane.
“What else is a book for?”
“You could use it to hit people with. At least, that’s what my teachers did to me.”
Taeyeon scrunches her face together at that thought. “I’d rather kick people than hit them with a book.”
“You and what legs?”
The book in Taeyeon’s hands almost goes flying, but she refrains from inflicting such an injury on Jessica’s head.
“We are nearly the same height!”
“Keep dreaming, kiddo.”
“Stop being a pain in the ass or I’ll leave for tonight.”
“Yeah, yeah. It’s already 8:30 anyway. Visiting hours are over in 30 minutes.”
“Hence the book. I’ve decided to read you bed time stories.”
“To what do I owe the pleasure to for a bed time story?”
“Consider it an early Christmas present.”
“Hey, hey. I am not five years old like the kids next door... Are you trying to distract me too?”
“Maybe. Now, shh.” Taeyeon shushes her as Jessica just scowls at her. Clearing her throat, she begins to read.
“Once upon a time there was a girl who wanted to learn how to shiver. She went to haunted houses and hung around in cemeteries and wandered the dark forest, but she was never afraid, and never shivered. She played with mad dogs and walked on high wires and leapt from tall trees, but she was never afraid and never shivered. She read tales of horror and tended the sick and had a witch foretell her death, but she was never afraid and she never shivered.
So she dove to the deep sea, and climbed the high mountains, and walked the wide desert alone; she lay down in tombs and fought ogres and dragons and chased after treasures; she became famous in the entire wide world. But she never did shiver, and she lamented this one night as she lay down with her lover.
And that night she finally shivered, but she was never afraid.”
Closing the short story book, she peeks at Jessica who has her eyes closed.
“How was your Christmas present?”
“Christmas? That was more like a Halloween horror story.”
“Did you shiver?”
“No.” Jessica said as she sticks her tongue out. “Why would anyone want to learn how to shiver?”
“That’s not the moral of the story.”
“Who wrote these silly tales?”
“A collection of authors. That one was from someone who enjoys walking in snow.”
“Pfft. What a bunch of weirdos.” She grumbles as she pulls the covers up further.
--
“Why are you smiling like that?” Jessica stares suspiciously at Taeyeon, “It’s creepy, stop it.”
Taeyeon just cackles a bit as she takes the usual seat.
“Last time, you said that the shivering story reminded you of a Halloween horror story. I’ve decided to read you a real spooky one tonight.”
“What? Why -”
“There is a folklore about hospitals where every night there will be three different specters floating. The first one is white and it hangs around the nurseries and birthing room. People who've seen it call it an angel as its presence meant that the delivery would go well and the baby will be safe.
The second is red and it often floats around the emergency wards and rooms that houses victims/patients who've been injured. Those who see it say that it's a terrible thing as all who met with it would be felt with indescribable anger and sorrow.
And the third is a saddening thing, gray and nondescript. Sometimes it'd be near the birthing rooms and sometimes near the wards. Often times, it is found near rooms which houses dying patients. For when people saw it, it meant that someone nearby was going to die. Sometimes it was a patient, sometimes it was a donor, but most of the time someone would die.”
“Stop!” Jessica clamps her hands down on her ears, shaking her head. “You are such an asshole for reading that to me.”
“But there’s more.” Taking in a fresh breath of air, she begins reading again.
Jessica quickly presses the button on the side of the bed, alerting Nurse Lee that she needs some assistance.
Taeyeon blinks twice at her antics and then laughs.
“Now you’ve done it.”
“This is your fault.”
“Tell that to Nurse Lee when she’s done throwing me out. I’m going to be exiled from this hospital at this rate.”
Jessica opens her mouth to counter, but the door slides open quickly, causing the both of them to force smiles at Nurse Lee.
“Hello.” They both guiltily greet her.
Next thing they know, Taeyeon’s banished for the night and it is only 7:30 P.M.
--
“Why don’t you read me normal fairytales?”
“What are ‘normal’ fairytales?”
“The ones that Disney pull… like Cinderella! You remind me of Cinderella.”
“What? How so?”
“Always leaving at the stroke of the hour. But instead of it being midnight, its nine o’clock here.”
“Pfft. If I’m Cinderella, does that make you Sleeping Beauty?”
“I always liked Aurora.”
“All she does is sleep.”
“Exactly.” Jessica snaps her fingers. “Most relatable princess for me.”
“You are so stupid.”
“I could also be Rapunzel. Take your pick.”
“You can’t just pick which Princess you want to be.”
“Who says? I’ve never had a knack for listening to rules, especially unspoken ones.”
Taeyeon just chuckles at that statement.
“This, I’ll have to agree with. We’ve broken so many rules I am surprised Nurse Lee hasn’t filed a restraining order on me.”
“She’s a softie under those mean stares and coarse words.”
“Sounds like someone I know.”
The corner of Jessica’s mouth just tugs up as she stays mute, finishing the last fold of the red paper crane.
--
Taeyeon’s eyebrows seriously furrow together as she stares at Jessica’s poor drawing skills on the piece of paper.
“Is that a drawing of a female titan throwing a clipboard at people?”
“It came to me in a dream.”
“I take back my theory of you being a closet romanticist. Are you sure you’re not sick in the head?”
“Hey, hey. I’m sick in the heart, okay.”
Taeyeon stops folding, listening intently for more. It’s the first time for Jessica to mention anything about her illness. Deciding to push it further, Taeyeon casually asks about the subject.
“What’s wrong with your heart?”
“Too many things.”
“Are you getting surgery?
“No. I’ve always had a knack for rejecting hearts. Should have seen those freshman boys in high school. One time…” Jessica’s voice trails off in the distance as Taeyeon tries to wrap her head around the hard truth.
The paper crane in her fingers becomes crinkly.
“Jessica.”
“Hrm?”
“How… how much longer?”
The atmosphere in the room suddenly becomes tense as Jessica just blinks twice at Taeyeon. She expects Jessica to show some sort of emotion besides indifference.
“Who knows?”
“You’re pretty calm about this.”
“The sooner I face reality, the less painful it’ll be.” She waves her hand off. “Enough of this talk, read me one of your stupid stories. It’s already 8:45.”
“They’re not stupid.”
“Uh huh.” Jessica mumbles as she pulls the covers up.
She was doing it again, cutting off the conversation when it came to her illness. Taeyeon takes in a deep breath, deciding to let Jessica win the battle again as she flipped open her book.
--
“I wonder if Hell has wheelchairs.” It’s the first thing that comes flying out of Jessica’s mouth as Taeyeon pushes the vacant wheelchair next to the bed. “Maybe I could ride one to Hell.”
“You talk about death very openly.”
“I’m a grown ass woman and so are you. No need to walk on eggshells like it’s a taboo topic. It’s coming whether we like it or not.”
“Are you afraid?”
“What’s there to be afraid of? It’s coming and being afraid will only make my last days a pain in the ass.”
“Sometimes, I can’t fathom the way you think.”
“Neither could my parents.” She grins widely and Taeyeon’s already imagining the headaches young rebellious Jessica must have caused.
“I’ve never met a person like you.”
“You probably never will. I’m one of a kind.”
She’s so full of it that Taeyeon wants to smack her upside the head sometimes.
“Just get in your wheelchair.”
--
It is Jessica who speaks first as Taeyeon wheels her down the hallway slowly.
“Which one of those little tykes are you related to?”
“None.”
“Hrm? Need some volunteer hours then?”
“Actually no.”
“Don’t tell me you’re one of those people with good souls who actually volunteer their own time and money for free?” Taeyeon can’t see Jessica’s face, but she can already imagine the blonde’s face scrunching up into skepticism.
“Hardly, I am far from it.”
“That makes two of us. Pretty sure I have a reserved room in Hell for me.”
“I’ll meet you there someday.”
This has Jessica chuckling. “So why do you do it?”
“Do you want me to be honest?”
“Haven’t we been honest with each other from the get-go?”
“Fair enough… Being here at the hospital, helping the children and you makes me feel alive. Keeps me sane.”
“Surrounding yourself with dying children and bitchy me keeps you sane?”
“It reminds me that life could be worse. I should be thankful for things I have.”
There is a five second pause before Jessica answers.
“That’s an optimistic way to look at things.”
A sad laugh escapes Taeyeon’s mouth.
“Let’s just both admit it’s sick and twisted.”
“Maybe, but what right do we have to judge something like that? Do what you want. At least while you can.”
Taeyeon knows that if this was a conversation with any normal human being, she’d be judged from head to toe and probably severed from any relationship she had with that person. But this isn’t.
This is a conversation with Jessica Jung, a woman whose personality is unique and basically had a LED sign above her head that said, ‘Come at me bro.’ She’s the walking epitome of someone who was ready for death and someone who doesn’t care for the world anymore. She’s special.
She’s special and Taeyeon suddenly remembers that she’s wheeling her down the corridor in a hospital. She met her in a hospital. She lives in this hospital.
And it’s then that the flashing red signs go off in Taeyeon’s head.
She’s becoming someone special to Taeyeon and she’s dying.