Lonely Ch 10
Title: Lonely Ch 10
Author: limnological
Rating: PG
Pairing: YoonYul
Description: AU, Slice of life
Chapter 10
Day 25
Yoona was not expecting something so cute and adorable taped to her lunchbox lid when she opened it that day. It was just Yoona and Yuri sitting together today for lunch.
“Rilakkuma!”
The amount of appreciation evident on Yoona’s face convinced Yuri she had done the right thing. Yoona smiled brightly as she quickly opened the cell phone wallet case from its plastic covering to put it to use. It was yellow splashed with a cute design of Rilakkuma and many honey jars sitting before him.
“I love it!” Her phone fit snugly into the case as it should. “But why did you get me a gift? You didn’t have to.”
Shyly, Yuri smiled. “I just wanted to.”
It was enough to send both of them into a parade of smiles.
--
The cast had just finished rehearsing the last scene in front of their director.
“That was good, but we’re looking for perfect. Did you hear me?” Tiffany had her script rolled up in one hand, pointing it at each cast member. “You must all be perfect!”
Tiffany had said it to encourage the members, but Yoona didn’t register it that way. The words triggered unwanted feelings and memories for Yoona. The bell rang then, but Yoona did not notice as she stood completely still.
Perfection.
Yoona honestly hated that word.
“You’re perfect.” It was a voice in her head she didn’t quite recognize.
“You’re so good at everything you do because you’re Im Yoona.” This time it was a teacher’s voice.
“Stay perfect.” It was her mother’s voice from when she was a child.
She felt like her stomach was twisting as her mind swirled around, head starting to pound.
Perfect. I have to be perfect. I cannot fail.
“You cannot fail!” Tiffany bellowed one last time as she left the room.
I cannot fail.
Her shoulders suddenly felt extremely heavy and her nerves were on edge.
Failure was not an option. The only option was perfection.
I cannot fail.
“Yoong.”
Everyone is counting on me.
“Yoong.”
Suddenly, Yoona felt a tug on her shirt. She snapped out of her daze and smiled at Yuri.
“Sorry.”
“What were you thinking about?”
Yoona tensed up even more at the sincerity in Yuri’s voice. “…I was just thinking about the play.”
“Are you worried you won’t do well?”
No, she couldn’t possibly admit that. If she did, it meant that she was admitting to imperfection. That wasn’t an option.
“No.”
Yuri’s face was fully of worry now. “Then why do you look so scared?”
“I -“ Her fingers began to shake and her lips quivered, her face distraught.
No one had ever seen her like this. No one knew the real Im Yoona, the girl who was afraid of failure. Not even Yuri.
Yoona felt another tug on her shirt as Yuri stepped closer.
“Yoong. Tell me?”
Yuri’s request tugged at her heart strings.
Why?
It didn’t make sense. She had only met Yuri a few weeks ago and yet, Yuri made her feel like she was meant to tell her things, things she had hidden for so long. She felt like Yuri needed to hear it just as much she needed to say it.
“Please?” Yuri pleaded again.
Her walls were crumbling before her.
“…I’m nervous.” Her voice was quiet and shaky. “I have to do well for everyone’s sake… I have to be perfect. I can’t fail.”
She felt so vulnerable, so exposed, so stupid, so naked under Yuri’s eyes.
She’ll say something like ‘You’ll do great because you’re Im Yoona.’ or ‘Of course, because you’re perfect. You can only be perfect.’
“Yoong, you’re only human.”
Her heart felt like leaping out of its chest.
What?
Yoona felt her eyes water slightly. “But I -”
Yuri’s grip on her shirt tightened. “You’re not perfect, Yoona. It’s okay to be afraid and to make mistakes. You can still get back up after falling.”
The tears were on the brink of escaping her eyes as Yuri searched for what to say next. When she settled on a sentence, she said it strong and firm to Yoona.
“The ability to get back up after falling is far more impressive than the ability to never fall.”
Yoona’s eyes widened.
I found you.
It was too overwhelming really. Here in front of her was someone who she could confide in. Yuri was someone who genuinely cared about her. Yuri, who was not good at talking, had comforted her with words.
Her legs felt weak and Yoona leaned forward, forehead resting on Yuri’s shoulder. She felt Yuri tense up, but relax a few moments later.
“…Sorry.” Yoona whispered it. “Could I just borrow your shoulder for a moment?”
“Yes.”
Yuri was positive the other girl had let a few tears fall. She could feel the moisture on her shoulder, but she decided to let the girl do what she needed to do. They stood still for a few minutes until Yoona managed to regain her composure.
Yoona raised her head and smiled at Yuri. “Thank you. Let’s go home.”
“Yoong?”
“Mhh?”
“Tomorrow, if you’re free, could we do something?”
Yuri was back to her shy self and it was funny in Yoona’s head.
She’s still shy, but she knows what to say at the right time.
“Do something? Like what?”
“Anything to get your mind off of the play.”
“Yes.” Yoona smiled. “Yes, I’d like that. Would you like to come over for dinner?”
Yuri nodded excitedly.
It would be the first time Yuri would visit Yoona’s home, and certainly not the last.
--
Day 26
Yuri squinted more than usual as she entered Yoona’s abode.
Like her own home, it was quite small, but large enough for two people. Yoona’s home was far more decorated with photos though. These photos mostly showed a young Yoona and a happy father. There were a few with her mother as well, causing Yuri to smile sadly. She had remembered that Yoona’s mother left her at an early age due to an illness.
“Welcome to my house.” Yoona led her through the kitchen and stopped in front of the back door. “There’s something I want to show you.”
Yuri looked at her curiously, then nodded as she followed her out the back door. What she saw in front of her was unexpected, yet expected because it was a back yard. It was unexpected because she didn’t think of Yoona as the gardener type.
There was a cute flower garden full of different flowers in front of her, lining up all the way across the fence.
“Wow.” Yuri mustered as Yoona beamed with pride.
The both of them crouched down in front of the colorful sight. Yuri recognized some of the flowers: tulips and roses of different shades. Many were red, white, pink, and yellow.
“I didn’t know you like to garden.”
“My mom really loved flowers.” Yoona reached out, her fingertips lightly grazing one of the petals of a yellow tulip. “As a child, I remember waking up from naps and finding her back here. She’d smile at me and teach me about them. Do you want to know the meaning of these tulips?”
Yuri nodded.
“Yellow tulips symbolize cheerful thoughts. White conveys forgiveness and purple represents royalty. Pink means affection and caring.” Yoona moved her hand to touch a red tulip. “And red symbolizes pure love.”
“Which was your mother’s favorite?”
“White. She really liked them. When my dad got in trouble with her, he’d bring her fresh ones from the store.”
Yuri cocked her head to the side. “Why didn’t he just pick them from this garden?”
A chuckle escaped Yoona’s mouth. “That probably would have given her a scare more than help her forgive him.”
Yuri laughed as well at her foolish logic. “That makes sense. Which is your favorite?”
Yoona’s fingers gently rubbed against the red petals. “Red because love can be pure, indeed.”
Before any other questions could be asked about flowers, a low growl emitted from Yoona’s stomach, causing the both of them to laugh.
“I guess my stomach wants dinner now.”
The both of them stood and Yoona led them back into the kitchen, taking out various ingredients for dinner tonight.
“What are we making?” Yuri asked as she watched the other girl walk from the fridge to the pantry.
“I am making spaghetti for us.” Yoona answered as she pulled out the packaged pasta. “Sorry I didn’t make it ahead of time. I had work today and wanted it to be fresh for you.”
“That’s okay. I want to help you make it.”
“Oh no.” Yoona objected to the suggestion. “You don’t have to help. You make lunch for me every day.”
“Yoong. I would feel awkward if I just sat by and watched you.”
Yoona stayed silent, contemplating that idea, but she protested again as she turned on the hot water. “A good hostess does not make their guest work.”
“Yoong.” Yuri frowned and walked towards the younger girl who was now opening the pasta package. Yuri’s hand grabbed onto the pasta package and the action caused Yoona to look into her eyes. “Yoongie. I want to help you.”
Yoona let out a soft sigh and smiled. “Okay. I guess it can’t be helped.”
A grin appeared on Yuri’s face. “What can I do?”
“Let’s cook the meat.”
They shuffled around the kitchen, going through the motions of cooking the meat and making the sauce as small talk erupted between them. Laughter was shared as they waited for the pasta to cook. Yoona picked up one strand of spaghetti with her fork and held it in mid-air for Yuri.
“Do you want to know how you find out if the spaghetti is cooked?”
Yuri grinned. “Is this where you throw it at the wall and -”
“ - if it’s sticks, it’s done.” Yoona finished the sentence for her, happy that Yuri knew exactly what she was talking about.
Yoona handed the older girl her spaghetti strand and then proceeded to take out another one from the boiling pot.
“Let’s make the cabinet over the microwave our target.”
Yuri nodded. “Three, two, one!”
Spaghetti started flying and to both of their amusement, neither of theirs stuck.
Yoona picked up another one from the pot. “Let’s try again, but facing the other way. Winner is whoever gets theirs to stick the highest.”
Spaghetti started flying again. To her surprise, Yuri’s landed just a bit above Yoona’s.
“I win!”
“Ding, ding! Your prize is a taste test.” Yoona held out a strand of spaghetti for Yuri. The older girl leaned forward, chewing with satisfaction.
“I think it’s getting there. Can I have another?”
“Sure.” Yoona handed her another and picked one up for herself. “Sometimes I like to eat the spaghetti plain like this.”
“Me too.”
They began eating individual strands until Yoona asked for rematch. Soon enough, multiple strands of spaghetti were stuck on the cabinet, and some even on the ceiling due to Yoona’s strength.
“Uh… we’ll have to clean that later.”
They both laughed at the situation, not sure how the ceiling had become the new target. Within a few more minutes, the spaghetti was ready to be served. They got their respective plates and dug in, hungry from the spaghetti throwing competition.
--
It tasted so wonderful to Yuri. Within minutes, both of their plates were devoured and their bellies satisfied. Without wasting time, they got up and started cleaning, washing the dishes together. Yoona washed as Yuri dried.
“This was really good, Yoong. You’re a good chef.” Then Yuri frowned. “I’m sorry you have to eat my cooking every day.”
Yoona shook her head. “It tastes good because we both made it. Don’t feel sorry. I really like your cooking, Yul. In fact…”
Yuri’s ears picked up on the sudden hesitation in Yoona’s voice. “Hrm?”
Yoona kept her hand still underneath the pool of water as she spoke. “Don’t make lunches for anyone else, okay?”
It was a strange request that came out of the blue.
“Er… why?”
It took a few moments for Yoona to answer, gaze fixated on the bubbles in the sink. It came out quiet and soft, like a secret confession from a five year old. “Because I’m selfish and I don’t want to share.”
Selfish? Yoona being selfish?
It was such an absurd sentence coming out of Yoona’s mouth, but soon Yuri began to understand.
Yoona was starting to admit her wants and needs to her like a real human being. Her perfect façade was starting to fall. Yoona was starting to let her see the different sides of her.
“…Okay.”
What Yuri didn’t know was that Yoona wanted to add ‘you’ to her last sentence, but this would have to do for now as Yuri’s answer made her smile widely.
----------
TBC
Author: limnological
Rating: PG
Pairing: YoonYul
Description: AU, Slice of life
Chapter 10
Day 25
Yoona was not expecting something so cute and adorable taped to her lunchbox lid when she opened it that day. It was just Yoona and Yuri sitting together today for lunch.
“Rilakkuma!”
The amount of appreciation evident on Yoona’s face convinced Yuri she had done the right thing. Yoona smiled brightly as she quickly opened the cell phone wallet case from its plastic covering to put it to use. It was yellow splashed with a cute design of Rilakkuma and many honey jars sitting before him.
“I love it!” Her phone fit snugly into the case as it should. “But why did you get me a gift? You didn’t have to.”
Shyly, Yuri smiled. “I just wanted to.”
It was enough to send both of them into a parade of smiles.
--
The cast had just finished rehearsing the last scene in front of their director.
“That was good, but we’re looking for perfect. Did you hear me?” Tiffany had her script rolled up in one hand, pointing it at each cast member. “You must all be perfect!”
Tiffany had said it to encourage the members, but Yoona didn’t register it that way. The words triggered unwanted feelings and memories for Yoona. The bell rang then, but Yoona did not notice as she stood completely still.
Perfection.
Yoona honestly hated that word.
“You’re perfect.” It was a voice in her head she didn’t quite recognize.
“You’re so good at everything you do because you’re Im Yoona.” This time it was a teacher’s voice.
“Stay perfect.” It was her mother’s voice from when she was a child.
She felt like her stomach was twisting as her mind swirled around, head starting to pound.
Perfect. I have to be perfect. I cannot fail.
“You cannot fail!” Tiffany bellowed one last time as she left the room.
I cannot fail.
Her shoulders suddenly felt extremely heavy and her nerves were on edge.
Failure was not an option. The only option was perfection.
I cannot fail.
“Yoong.”
Everyone is counting on me.
“Yoong.”
Suddenly, Yoona felt a tug on her shirt. She snapped out of her daze and smiled at Yuri.
“Sorry.”
“What were you thinking about?”
Yoona tensed up even more at the sincerity in Yuri’s voice. “…I was just thinking about the play.”
“Are you worried you won’t do well?”
No, she couldn’t possibly admit that. If she did, it meant that she was admitting to imperfection. That wasn’t an option.
“No.”
Yuri’s face was fully of worry now. “Then why do you look so scared?”
“I -“ Her fingers began to shake and her lips quivered, her face distraught.
No one had ever seen her like this. No one knew the real Im Yoona, the girl who was afraid of failure. Not even Yuri.
Yoona felt another tug on her shirt as Yuri stepped closer.
“Yoong. Tell me?”
Yuri’s request tugged at her heart strings.
Why?
It didn’t make sense. She had only met Yuri a few weeks ago and yet, Yuri made her feel like she was meant to tell her things, things she had hidden for so long. She felt like Yuri needed to hear it just as much she needed to say it.
“Please?” Yuri pleaded again.
Her walls were crumbling before her.
“…I’m nervous.” Her voice was quiet and shaky. “I have to do well for everyone’s sake… I have to be perfect. I can’t fail.”
She felt so vulnerable, so exposed, so stupid, so naked under Yuri’s eyes.
She’ll say something like ‘You’ll do great because you’re Im Yoona.’ or ‘Of course, because you’re perfect. You can only be perfect.’
“Yoong, you’re only human.”
Her heart felt like leaping out of its chest.
What?
Yoona felt her eyes water slightly. “But I -”
Yuri’s grip on her shirt tightened. “You’re not perfect, Yoona. It’s okay to be afraid and to make mistakes. You can still get back up after falling.”
The tears were on the brink of escaping her eyes as Yuri searched for what to say next. When she settled on a sentence, she said it strong and firm to Yoona.
“The ability to get back up after falling is far more impressive than the ability to never fall.”
Yoona’s eyes widened.
I found you.
It was too overwhelming really. Here in front of her was someone who she could confide in. Yuri was someone who genuinely cared about her. Yuri, who was not good at talking, had comforted her with words.
Her legs felt weak and Yoona leaned forward, forehead resting on Yuri’s shoulder. She felt Yuri tense up, but relax a few moments later.
“…Sorry.” Yoona whispered it. “Could I just borrow your shoulder for a moment?”
“Yes.”
Yuri was positive the other girl had let a few tears fall. She could feel the moisture on her shoulder, but she decided to let the girl do what she needed to do. They stood still for a few minutes until Yoona managed to regain her composure.
Yoona raised her head and smiled at Yuri. “Thank you. Let’s go home.”
“Yoong?”
“Mhh?”
“Tomorrow, if you’re free, could we do something?”
Yuri was back to her shy self and it was funny in Yoona’s head.
She’s still shy, but she knows what to say at the right time.
“Do something? Like what?”
“Anything to get your mind off of the play.”
“Yes.” Yoona smiled. “Yes, I’d like that. Would you like to come over for dinner?”
Yuri nodded excitedly.
It would be the first time Yuri would visit Yoona’s home, and certainly not the last.
--
Day 26
Yuri squinted more than usual as she entered Yoona’s abode.
Like her own home, it was quite small, but large enough for two people. Yoona’s home was far more decorated with photos though. These photos mostly showed a young Yoona and a happy father. There were a few with her mother as well, causing Yuri to smile sadly. She had remembered that Yoona’s mother left her at an early age due to an illness.
“Welcome to my house.” Yoona led her through the kitchen and stopped in front of the back door. “There’s something I want to show you.”
Yuri looked at her curiously, then nodded as she followed her out the back door. What she saw in front of her was unexpected, yet expected because it was a back yard. It was unexpected because she didn’t think of Yoona as the gardener type.
There was a cute flower garden full of different flowers in front of her, lining up all the way across the fence.
“Wow.” Yuri mustered as Yoona beamed with pride.
The both of them crouched down in front of the colorful sight. Yuri recognized some of the flowers: tulips and roses of different shades. Many were red, white, pink, and yellow.
“I didn’t know you like to garden.”
“My mom really loved flowers.” Yoona reached out, her fingertips lightly grazing one of the petals of a yellow tulip. “As a child, I remember waking up from naps and finding her back here. She’d smile at me and teach me about them. Do you want to know the meaning of these tulips?”
Yuri nodded.
“Yellow tulips symbolize cheerful thoughts. White conveys forgiveness and purple represents royalty. Pink means affection and caring.” Yoona moved her hand to touch a red tulip. “And red symbolizes pure love.”
“Which was your mother’s favorite?”
“White. She really liked them. When my dad got in trouble with her, he’d bring her fresh ones from the store.”
Yuri cocked her head to the side. “Why didn’t he just pick them from this garden?”
A chuckle escaped Yoona’s mouth. “That probably would have given her a scare more than help her forgive him.”
Yuri laughed as well at her foolish logic. “That makes sense. Which is your favorite?”
Yoona’s fingers gently rubbed against the red petals. “Red because love can be pure, indeed.”
Before any other questions could be asked about flowers, a low growl emitted from Yoona’s stomach, causing the both of them to laugh.
“I guess my stomach wants dinner now.”
The both of them stood and Yoona led them back into the kitchen, taking out various ingredients for dinner tonight.
“What are we making?” Yuri asked as she watched the other girl walk from the fridge to the pantry.
“I am making spaghetti for us.” Yoona answered as she pulled out the packaged pasta. “Sorry I didn’t make it ahead of time. I had work today and wanted it to be fresh for you.”
“That’s okay. I want to help you make it.”
“Oh no.” Yoona objected to the suggestion. “You don’t have to help. You make lunch for me every day.”
“Yoong. I would feel awkward if I just sat by and watched you.”
Yoona stayed silent, contemplating that idea, but she protested again as she turned on the hot water. “A good hostess does not make their guest work.”
“Yoong.” Yuri frowned and walked towards the younger girl who was now opening the pasta package. Yuri’s hand grabbed onto the pasta package and the action caused Yoona to look into her eyes. “Yoongie. I want to help you.”
Yoona let out a soft sigh and smiled. “Okay. I guess it can’t be helped.”
A grin appeared on Yuri’s face. “What can I do?”
“Let’s cook the meat.”
They shuffled around the kitchen, going through the motions of cooking the meat and making the sauce as small talk erupted between them. Laughter was shared as they waited for the pasta to cook. Yoona picked up one strand of spaghetti with her fork and held it in mid-air for Yuri.
“Do you want to know how you find out if the spaghetti is cooked?”
Yuri grinned. “Is this where you throw it at the wall and -”
“ - if it’s sticks, it’s done.” Yoona finished the sentence for her, happy that Yuri knew exactly what she was talking about.
Yoona handed the older girl her spaghetti strand and then proceeded to take out another one from the boiling pot.
“Let’s make the cabinet over the microwave our target.”
Yuri nodded. “Three, two, one!”
Spaghetti started flying and to both of their amusement, neither of theirs stuck.
Yoona picked up another one from the pot. “Let’s try again, but facing the other way. Winner is whoever gets theirs to stick the highest.”
Spaghetti started flying again. To her surprise, Yuri’s landed just a bit above Yoona’s.
“I win!”
“Ding, ding! Your prize is a taste test.” Yoona held out a strand of spaghetti for Yuri. The older girl leaned forward, chewing with satisfaction.
“I think it’s getting there. Can I have another?”
“Sure.” Yoona handed her another and picked one up for herself. “Sometimes I like to eat the spaghetti plain like this.”
“Me too.”
They began eating individual strands until Yoona asked for rematch. Soon enough, multiple strands of spaghetti were stuck on the cabinet, and some even on the ceiling due to Yoona’s strength.
“Uh… we’ll have to clean that later.”
They both laughed at the situation, not sure how the ceiling had become the new target. Within a few more minutes, the spaghetti was ready to be served. They got their respective plates and dug in, hungry from the spaghetti throwing competition.
--
It tasted so wonderful to Yuri. Within minutes, both of their plates were devoured and their bellies satisfied. Without wasting time, they got up and started cleaning, washing the dishes together. Yoona washed as Yuri dried.
“This was really good, Yoong. You’re a good chef.” Then Yuri frowned. “I’m sorry you have to eat my cooking every day.”
Yoona shook her head. “It tastes good because we both made it. Don’t feel sorry. I really like your cooking, Yul. In fact…”
Yuri’s ears picked up on the sudden hesitation in Yoona’s voice. “Hrm?”
Yoona kept her hand still underneath the pool of water as she spoke. “Don’t make lunches for anyone else, okay?”
It was a strange request that came out of the blue.
“Er… why?”
It took a few moments for Yoona to answer, gaze fixated on the bubbles in the sink. It came out quiet and soft, like a secret confession from a five year old. “Because I’m selfish and I don’t want to share.”
Selfish? Yoona being selfish?
It was such an absurd sentence coming out of Yoona’s mouth, but soon Yuri began to understand.
Yoona was starting to admit her wants and needs to her like a real human being. Her perfect façade was starting to fall. Yoona was starting to let her see the different sides of her.
“…Okay.”
What Yuri didn’t know was that Yoona wanted to add ‘you’ to her last sentence, but this would have to do for now as Yuri’s answer made her smile widely.
----------
TBC