Grammatically either is perfectly correctly (though stylistically, in the first, I would prefer "just as happened earlier"). But they have different impllcations. In the first, the agency is clearly with the progressive local writers; in the second, it's at least suggested to be with him, in that his actions might have played more of a role in making him the center. Which would better fit your intended narrative? Do they pick him up, or does he pick them up?
I don’t think so. Given that the first sentence starts with a statement about “him”, the narrative is being formed around him in both cases. I do not see any difference in implications.
I agree that both are grammatical, and to me both sound mildly cumbersome. I’d prefer two shorter sentences instead.
I don't agree. The passage "When he lived in " is a subordinate clause introducing the main sentence. And the subject of the main sentence is "a circle of progressive local writers" in the first version, but "he" in the second. Making something the subject tends to attribute agency to it.
How are you using progressive in this context? Are you talking experimental, avant gard types, or are these social reformers? It might be obvious in context, but as a blind article the.vagueness isn't helping the clause.
Second you might want to lead with the past to end up in the present.
Just like Writer X and Writer Y, Writer Z soon became the nucleus of City's writers' scene as other, lesser lights formed a salon around him / competed for his attention / hoped to gain more name recognition via association. (Whatever makes sense in context.)
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I agree that both are grammatical, and to me both sound mildly cumbersome. I’d prefer two shorter sentences instead.
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Where is the agency here, on GW or on his cabinet?
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How are you using progressive in this context? Are you talking experimental, avant gard types, or are these social reformers? It might be obvious in context, but as a blind article the.vagueness isn't helping the clause.
Second you might want to lead with the past to end up in the present.
Just like Writer X and Writer Y, Writer Z soon became the nucleus of City's writers' scene as other, lesser lights formed a salon around him / competed for his attention / hoped to gain more name recognition via association. (Whatever makes sense in context.)
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