i dont know i just feel so many emotions really. i feel like i dont know who i am anymore. i feel alone and invisible and unloved. i am married now (been almost 2 years). dont know when we last spoke but i converted to the church. my husband and i were married in slc. anyways i havent seen friends or family in almost 2 years. i have no friends where i am. i keep trying but keep feeling depressed and its dragging me deeper and deeper. i feel unloved. some days ive become so apathetic. and angry.
Congrats on getting married and joining the church! Your post makes me sad otherwise :( Does your husband know you're unhappy? Can you maybe move closer to family? To be honest, I've been a lifelong member and I love the church but I don't think I could live in Utah. Something about the culture I find oppressive. I like living among non-members, I think they're less judgemental. Are you still going to church every week? I would recommend getting your patriarchal blessing. It tells you a lot of nice things about yourself and gives you direction for your life.
I actually live in las vegas now. haha. so def not utah. and yes i got my partiarchal blessing before i was married, i think i got it as soon as i was able to. I joined the church and was endowed/married probably 9 months after. i do go every week but i just really dont feel as strong anymore. i have told him how i feel and here and there he has made efforts but really isnt a heart to heart emotional person i guess, and i am kind of the opposite where i share emotions too much at times.
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