Sigh

[link_worshiper]

Why is it that when people I care about are upset and I'm worried about them, everything just comes out a garbled mess. I was rushing to get to my boyfriend, who was blowing up my phone to get to him as fast as possible, even though I was working. And I kind of felt bad and guilty by the time I arrived and I thought he was mad becuse he was acting

Comments

[rurounitriv]

No, he failed at communicating what he needed. Also, I know he was upset, but calling you out of work when you've only been there a few days? Pretty damn thoughtless.

[stripedpetunia]

Agreed. It sucks about his uncle but that's goddamned inconsiderate toward you. You're not a mind-reader.

(If I was having my phone blown up while at work by an SO I'd expect to find THEM in the hospital. Or I'd be thinking of putting them there.)

[rurounitriv]

Same here re: personal calls at work. It's unprofessional. An occasional "hey, this is going on, call me when you get out of work" is one thing, but demanding you drop the job that pay your bills to hold his hand - or in this case provide him with a target - is just not right. Waiting until you got off or went to lunch would not change a damn thing.

[link_worshiper]

Well, to be fair, he thought I was leaving work at 7, but I ended up staying until 7.30, and I was pretty much wrapping up anyway. I should have figured he was acting a little oddly because he is a super prompt person and is usually really obsessive about being on time, so I made a point to tell him how far away I thought I was. In retrospect, he had kind of done the same thing the day before even though he KNEW I was underground on the subway, and he then admitted he was having a panic attack. I suppose he had just found out about the uncle. But this is all stuff I kind of pieced together after the fact. I stood my ground against him, but I couldn't just storm off and walk away even though I was angry because I could tell he was hurting. He apologized so many times afterwards, it was almost ridiculous. I know he's not good at this communication thing (stupid boys), but he has to understand that he at least has to try and it's not fair to tell me I don't attend to his needs if I don't even know what those needs are.

[link_worshiper]

I don't think he realizes how obvious he is when he's broody, even if he thinks he's keeping it in. I picked up on his weird body language right away even if he thought he was being all tough on the outside. I have kind of hinted to him that communication is something he has to work on, but maybe I need to just be blunt and let him know that it was a big part of the problems we had before, and if he's as serious business about our relationship as he says, he's got to get his shit together.

[paranoidpen]

Yup. Sorry. Major fail on his part all over. As everyone else has said.

[link_worshiper]

At least he apologized about ten thousand times afterwards.

[zethsaire]

Stressful situations suck, and they unfortunately bring out the worse in people. Try to cool off, and talk to him about it when you're both thinking more clearly. Sorry things are so up and down for you...life can be a bitch sometimes.

[link_worshiper]

Yeah, he came back after all of it being super apologetic. He seems to be under the impression that telling other people his problems, especially people he cares about, does more harm that good and he doesn't like the idea of people being sad because of him. I don't think it has quite fired in his boy brain that it's not about making other people feel bad, but just about keeping them informed so they know how to properly handle situations in an empathetic manner.