does this have to do with your friend Amanda? i think you've made it clear that you only want her as a friend otherwise you would've put forth the effort in the relationship with her.
I have? I don't think I made that decision...but I really don't know yet. I spent so much time hiding how I feel, that maybe I've hidden it from myself. I'm willing to put forth effort, I'm just not sure I knew how before.
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