Couples Therapy, Day Two

Jul 02, 2013 17:50

The Outsider P.O.V. Comment Fic Meme at  spn_bigpretzel
prompt "Dean and Charlie go undercover at a couples retreat. People wonder why they feel the need to keep reminding everyone they're a heterosexual couple." by sameuspegasus

Title: Couples Therapy, Day Two
Rating: PG
Characters: Dean and Charlie, Charles and Sarah, Gregory and Lisa, Temperance and Seeley, Lin
Crossover: SPN/ Chuck/ House/ Bones
Words: ~ 850
Note 1: Previously, this happened in Couples Therapy.
Note 2: Thanks to ashtraythief for finding lots of mistakes I thought weren't there :)



(pic source)

Couples Therapy, Day Two

Today was the second day of the couples' week. I had a hunch this was going to be a long, hard day.

“Hello. Lovely to see all of you here again this morning. The second session is always about honesty and openness. It's about saying what you think, and not keeping your feelings in to let them fester in your heart and rot at the foundations of your relationship. You'll each tell your partner one thing that annoys you, and one thing you love about him or her.”

I knew it would be risky with this group, as some latent anger issues had manifested yesterday during the pre-session.

“We will be polite to each other, and always start the sentence with I feel or I think. Let me give an example: I think it is impolite that you check your mobile phone during my introduction.”

“It's not a..., I was just showing Dean..., I'll put it away now. I'm sorry,” Charlie said, as she quickly put her phone away. It was really old, and it almost looked home built.

“No need to apologize at this stage. Just hear each other out. As for something positive: I think you are wearing a lovely t-shirt.”

Charlie stroked her hand lovingly over her PacwoMan novelty t-shirt, while her husband shook his head looking slightly amused.

“After this session we will start rebuilding your relationships on better and healthier ground. Charles and Sarah, would you please start by taking turns?

“Sarah, what annoys me about you is that you are always showing too much skin on a mission, eh... in the missionary position. And that's way I'd love to see you more covered up.”

“We enjoy heterosexual clothed sex all the time, don't we Charlie? Just before this session we did it in the bathroom around the corner,” Dean said while he looked enthusiastically over to his wife. She just happens to look the other way.

Sarah took an obviously calming breath, and turned to Charles. “Chuck, my love, I get very much annoyed because you always screw up on the job, eh... I mean... screw up a blowjob. I'd love for you to stand still and think before you act next time.”

“Blowjobs are awesome in a man/woman kind of way, aren't they Charlie?” Charlie just motioned to Dean - sticking two fingers in her mouth and faux gagging - to stop talking.

“Dean, you're not supposed to cut in like that. Please wait your turn. Charles and Sarah, that was a very good start. You went directly of the deep-end there, with sex related do's and dont's. Thank you for your honesty and openness.”

“And you, Gregory and Lisa? What would you like to tell each other?”

Greg repositioned himself on the couch to face his wife. He took her hands into his and looked deep into her eyes. “Lisa, darling. You annoy me immensely when you say no to me. What I'd really, really love to hear is yes more often.”

Lisa rolled her eyes so fiercely, that I feared they would pop out off their sockets.

“Gregory, my sweet, sweet husband. I hate your endless ogling of my ass and breasts. I would like less sexism from you and more respect in front of our collea- ehm..., in front of our daughter.”

“Alright, I pick up on some issues here. We will explore those some more in the individual couple sessions tomorrow.”

“And Dean and Charlie. What have you got to say to each other?”

Dean put one hand in his neck, while he tried not to look his wife in the eyes. “Alright Charlie, my wife... What gets on my nerves is that you think you know all about hunt- I mean marriage, just because you researched it on the Internet and wrote some kind of app for it. I would like for you to accept there's lots to learn from me.”

“Dean, hub, it really gets to me when you treat me like your little sister instead of your partner. Just tone down the macho bullshit dude. I know there's a little Timmy hidden in there somewhere, waiting to get out. You can show your feelings you know, when you're with me. I can totally be your Lassie.”

“Aw, you guys, that was really sweet. Well, that concludes our couples therapy for today. Tina - our activities counselor - asked me to relay to you that the couples miniature golf tournament will start at two, right after the romantic picnic.”

Just as we were getting up to go, there was a disturbance in the hallway. We all rushed over to take a look at what the commotion was all about. Temperance - a woman from another couples group - started attacking her husband - Seeley - with a fork.

“She seems to be exhibiting the same symptoms as that man in Detroit,” Gregory said in an excited voice.

“I told you there'd be another innocent victim under brain control by a Russian spy targeting FBI-agents,” Sarah called out to Charles.

“Charlie, you get the salt, I'll get the shotgun!” Dean yelled.

.

fic, big_pretzel, dean, charlie

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