A post ...
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I started to post this like two days ago and just didn't get around to it ... sidetracked I suppose you would say. My Sister in this House just ended, and in four hours or so I'm going to start the drive home to Waco for Thanksgiving. From there I have two more days of class (the 30th and the 2nd) and then my first semester at the University of Texas at Austin is over.
So I'm officially co-directing The Same Story next semester, with Cathy Hartenstein who is coming in from the University of Colorado at Boulder. We're still kind of iffy on how the whole thing is really going to work out, but the idea at the moment is for me to sketch out the blocking for the show in the first week of rehearsals, and then she would come in and tweak it for the second week, and then I would not do a whole lot to it after that but just keep it running smoothly (AD/ASM type work). Whatever happens I get to put down co-director on my resumé and that'll get me one step closer, I hope, to grad school at Yale.
And I think thats something that I really want for myself right now. Not just grad school,. but grad school at Yale. So now I'm in the stretch of beefing up my credentials in any way I can to make them look at me, cock their heads to the side and say: "Look at what this kid did in undergrad. We should let him in."
For some reason I've gone through this real girl kick lately. And by that I mean I've been very interested in acquiring a girlfriend. Which has been failing pretty well miserably, if I do say so myself. No dates. No almost dates. Really nothing has been going on, on that front. Because of the disinterest of females, my interest has been narrowed down to two lucky young ladies who may or may not think I'm creepy (one of them did call me "cheeky" the other day, but I don't think thats necessarily a bad thing in the context of the situation).
My Directing II class has been cancelled due to lack of instructors. At the University of Texas. Lack of instructors. Really? Every other podunk college in the United States with a four year program has a Directing II class, but not us. It really frustrates me, because its an upper level class but its also a class that I really kind of need, you know? Especially if I want to go to grad school. So instead I'm taking Acting Shakespeare or something like that with Fran Dorn ... well, I've not actually signed up for the class yet, but its open and I just have to wait until the Add/Drop period begins before I add it. And that shouldn't be too much of a problem.
Something is changing in me, I think. Soemthing deep down that I can't quite put my finger on. Perhaps its just the beginnings of a change, just the first twinges of something that will grow into something else entirely. I can't tell what it is. I don't really know if I've ever thought about it before right this second. But its there, I think. Down there somewhere. Waiting to really get going.
There are days, sometimes, when I really doubt my abilities--theatrically and otherwise. But then everything is made better when, all of a sudden, I do something thats really surprising and I can tell by the look on people's faces that they are surprised as well. Like when we were talking about My Sister in this House in directing class the other day and I was asked to give the story, or to say what I would do differently with the set, and I had long detailed descriptions of both (I know I worked on the show, but I didn't think I had actually thought about it that much) and I could see Jonathan's face (the director of the show and my new buddy/big brother type) and Gerald's face (the directing instructor). It was pleasant. But I wish I was doing better on my actual directing scenes. That would make all the difference in the world, I think. My directing scenes suck. A lot. A whole lot. My heart just isn't in them. They're like homework. I hope The Same Story doesn't end up like that next semester. That would make me sad, but of course there is a guest director to really come in and make everything better. Hopefully. I dunno, that whole situation makes me nervous and makes me doubt my abilities even more. I'm undertaking something much larger than I've ever done before, and that is always scary. I need to learn how to really talk to my actors.
So I'm going to go for now, after posting, and eat something. Turn the heater down and do whatever it is I'm going to do until its time to leave. And then I'm going to go eat in the morning with my grandparents, and see Linda and the Haskett's in the afternoon. And then all will be well with the world, I hope. I hope.
Later.