Robert!
Hey, screaming asshat in the parking lot,
Standing pretty much outside my window and yelling ROB! or ROBERT! every two seconds at 3:30 in the morning is not cool. You may not have a job, but other people have to work. Like me. I need to be up in about 2 hours to go to work. Thanks for saving my alarm clock the bother of going off. It was working too hard anyway. I feel SO embarrassed, not only for you, but for your little girlfriend who had to come out to be humiliated with you.
Did it ever occur to you that if you've called his name five or six times (and you called it plenty more than that) and he hasn't answered yet, that there are a few possible things that may be wrong? Such as:
- His window might be closed? (Despite the fact taht it's mid-June, it's mid-June in Halifax and 3:30 AM is a brisk 14 degrees C)
- He may not want to see you?
- He might be asleep? (It is 3:30 AM, after all)
- (this is the one I think most likely) He may have moved and just not told you.
Even if he did still live here and he was awake (then again, half the building is awake now, like me), he probably doesn't even want to be associated with you. You've just humiliated yourself in front of God and the world, and now you expect him to tell the neighbourhood that he actually knows you? No dice, dude.
And I don't know HOW you got into our building (probably your little whore let you in when she got sick of you humiliating her out on the lawn), but pounding and kicking the door down the hall and getting no answer might have been a solid hint he was not there. And there's why I think he may have moved. Someone named Robert used to live next door, but that was a while ago; he's gone. Probably to get away from you, dear asshat. Heck, to quote Rowan Atkinson, you strike me as being "the kind of person people emigrate to avoid".
But I just had to laugh at you when I heard (through my slightly open balcony window) you ask your strumpet to boost you up and that you intended to climb up the balconies to the third floor. It was at that point that I finally called security. Hope you have fun making a new friend with the guard that will escort you back to your car and tell you to stop trespassing, retard. If you aren't bright enough to figure out that your buddy has moved or doesn't want to see you in the middle of the night, then what makes you think you're climbing up the right balconies?If you'd been off by one and missed and hit my balcony, the cops would have been all over you.
No love,
Taris, the rudely-awoken retail worker who has to work Saturdays even if you don't