Character Name: Kotobuki Ebi
Series: Hanazakari no Kimitachi e (AKA Hana Kimi)
Age: 25
Job: Relationship Exit Counselor
Canon: Hana Kimi is the heartwarming tale of the sweetest trap this side of Japan and her more than slightly stalker-obsessive love for one young high jumper. And, if it weren't for the fact that she's just so damn cute, she might have been slapped with a restraining order by now. So she comes to infiltrate an all boys school (poorly) and sexually confuse a good portion of the student body who, luckily for her, are just as clueless as she is. However, aside from wacky rabu rabu hijinks, Mizuki spends most of her time assembling a mafia befriending everyone she meets.
Enter Kotobuki Ebi, one such member of the Mizuki mafia. Ebi is an ex-model turned make-up artist and also, to Mizuki and Co.'s surprise, their photographer Hara Akiha's ex-wife. Having parted on good terms, Ebi and Akiha remain close friends and even work together; now that's what we call keepin' it classy. A complete professional on the job, she takes pride in her work and it is clear she means business. Confident, kind and full of all sorts of handy dandy advice about relationships and being yourself, Ebi's upbeat nature is more than a little infectious.
Sample Post:
Hello, Kotobuki Ebi checking in! I look forward to working with you all. So let's try to make this shoot a success! Now, could I have someone help me with the cases I brought? Perhaps the man in the gorilla costume? Thanks, they go right over there by the bodybag props. I'll start with you first, so please take a seat while I set up the mak- uh oh! Are you alright? Here, take my hand. I've never seen a chair just collapse like that! Although, considering how every part of this set is either molding or collapsing in some way or another, I shouldn't be surprised. They did an amazing job. It really feels like walking into a zombie camp with no hope of returning home, doesn't it?
This is pretty cool, but I wasn't told it was going to be a horror movie. When the director phoned me about the job all she mentioned was that it was a light-hearted coming-of-age tale about kids in a summer camp. She said light-hearted, but looking around now, it seems like anything but. I don't really mind working on a horror film, but because of the misunderstanding I'm not as prepared as I'd like. Ah, I should stop rambling and get back to the job that I'm here for! But how exactly am I supposed to apply make up to fur? It's not a costume? A prank like that isn't very funny. Besides, even if it were true, testing cosmetics on animals is illegal. I understand that people like to break rules here, but if you don't mind, I'd rather not.
You know what? I'll skip the gorillas for now and work on the zombies until we've got this fur thing resolved. Besides, I need to have a conversation with the director about her instructions. 'Pimp their hides' isn't exactly helpful direction. Now, if all the undead could please form more of a line than a horde, we'll be able to get to each of you more quickly. And can one of you tell me is this shoot in color or black and white? "Brains"? I'm glad you're so dedicated to your role and staying in character. It's nice to see that sort of commitment, but considering I take pride in my job too, I need to know what sort of shoot this is. "Nom nom nom"? I can see this is going nowhere, and fast. If you could just point me to the director… you ate her? You raped her? You slapped her around with a large trout? This isn't very professional.
If I'm supposed to do my job you've got to- what do you mean I'm not here to do make-up? No, I am not here for the counselor position. Besides, I've never heard of a summer camp with a relationship exit counselor. Yes, I am divorced, but that isn't really any of your business. Now, I would like to think that you'd show me half the respect I deserve. None of this is in my contract, the director and I had an agreement. Of course I believed her. We're both professionals, aren't we?
…Why are you laughing?
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