the blah-a-gains.i wish my voice was deeper, my small child of thirteen months.i knew what'd be next.& the first time we visited together i am sencerly happy.'its good to see you'.to back home, dinner with the family, we've accumulated alot of families, this is strange.i've always wanted to be a vocalist& an artist,oh man. dinner, 5 hevier,this is ( Read more... )

im excited to go back to tucson tomorrow, its been nice here. i thought over there in our house 'i am bored, i am home all the time, lonely momma alexa' thats me everywhere, here, all my friends are here, i only see them in the night time anyways. & there my nighttime with andrew, i love it. daytime adri. the outside here is wonderful, family at ( Read more... )

same as it ever was. filling time up with being only unproductive. im not feeling worried, but i think a lack of excitement.getting sort of hurt feelings over things that are unimportant. i had a constant blah feeling, thinking last night, 'maybe now it will go away'. i drove home not satisfied or unsatisfied. playing the same scenerios in my head ( Read more... )

lonely yes, usually to be here. missconseptions, well, people are confusing, and like sinister, ..nice. its a nice feeling, falling asleep sweaty and naked, not alonley alexa. everyday and every night, i am not sure, i am torn feeling, i think of saying back and forth, well back and forth, im cinfident that whatever happens i will become content ( Read more... )

i am feeling melancoly, little crying eyes. names almost in unison, big bitch ah. well an exageration, i forget. well, i do nothing worse. i changed colours too soon, i wish i had my paint next to me now. shes gone, out of the house,being a mother, being uninteresting, lost in raising a life, unloveable romaticly feeling. i look into the future, ( Read more... )

im content with the paintings i am working on. its hard to be in the right state of mind, not getting discouraged by all the other better artist in the world. i like listening to this cheesy music while doing art. i have to keep my mind out of these sort of heartbreaking day dreams that have become so rutine to me. i got in the habit of preparing ( Read more... )

i didnt know what would make me care so much.i had developed a strong hatred, i stayed up thinking in my bed logically about it. trying to, an in the back of my mind though, i got rid of it. or am in the process of. its a bad feeling only thinking bad thoughts of somone. now im red faced, just to myself. i will brush my teeth, still not like a ( Read more... )

i was thinking oh im sad feeling like being home tonight, feeling jealouse of super carelessness. driving drive home, i kept feel nervouse, driving there, sad again, but not sad really, uncontent feeling. sleeping in beds together, how long untill sex is..i cant think of the word. hardly there, im sort of enviouse of writers, very uh, you know, ( Read more... )

she sounds all the same to me. good sounding anyways. i kept crying so much tonight,i feel so unaccomplished being a young mother, my piles of art arent me anymore and i dont have time to create more pile of more suiting ones.so i tried intertaining adri, he was amused and drank my milk to sleep. i feel like a let down of a lover, without any ( Read more... )

this is funny.its so irritating,the thoughts i have to go through, comparisions to me, its not my fault, i guess im still getting over it somtimes.this summertime, well im in love with this book.i feel excited and i cant remember why, so i think of my day and what happened, what i saw or listened to, and i remember, my book!andrew's thoughtfullness ( Read more... )