Edward & Jasper Log
THIS LOG IS PRIVATE. YOU WERE NOT THERE UNLESS YOU'RE A SNOOPING VAMPIRE. IN WHICH CASE, EDWARD IS GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS. ♥
Summary; Edward and Jasper, venting after Matt's death (backdated log). Sibling wrestling and vampiric violence abound. Trees fall. Two pretty, pretty boys roll around with each other in the dirt very platonically. ♥
They'd each been hunting on their own for hours, bordering a full day now, and it had hardly helped. Jasper knew because he'd been keeping an eye on Edward in particular--Edward, who had been forced to actually watch that poor boy get slaughtered, Edward, who had befriended the boy and brought him into their home only days before. Jasper was worried about him. Emmett and Rosalie too, but he knew the way they handled their emotions, and he knew how Edward tended to handle his, and it was the oldest, most distant of those three who he was worried about.
Scent and random wildlife carnage led him quickly to where his brother had paused. He approached silently from the dark trees to Edward's left, letting his thoughts announce his presence as they always did. He wanted to assess Edward's emotions as thoroughly as possible before actually speaking with him.
Edward finished tearing the throat out of the Kodiak and throwing its body down beside the two foxes he had attacked earlier. The two smaller creatures had hardly put up a fight. It had been highly unsatisfying. The kodiak, on the other hand, had tried to claw Edward's eyes out. It had suited him well for his current purpose, which was to release all of the pent up anger and frustration and horror he had within him. He was a monster, he knew. The pile of animal bodies proved it, but he couldn't help but feel disgusted at what he had seen. That hommunculus was no better than the Volturi. He almost wished he could provoke Aro to send the fleet after it, but he knew better than that. He would rather have a hand in its death himself, so angry was he.
He sensed Jasper's presence before he heard his thoughts, but the latter soon joined up with the former.
"Peachy," Edward grunted to answer the unspoken question in his brother's mind.
It was difficult--he himself was still upset over what had happened, and over how much it had affected this normally stoic family--but with a little effort, Jasper managed. A blanket of calm settled over them both as he simultaneously materialized beside a clawed up tree. He leaned over until his shoulder rested against the tough bark, arms folded over his chest, sleeves rolled up to the elbow so that the blood on his forearms wouldn't soak into them completely.
"Everyone is worried about you." The others would keep their distance until it was time to go back.
Edward growled as he felt the calm descend on him. He struggled against it. He wanted to be angry. To let the monster inside him loose in a way that he had never wanted to before, save three occasions.
"I'm fine," he snapped at his brother irrationally. Another growl escaped his throat as he continued to struggle, but slowly, gradually, Jasper won out and he could feel the calm easing the tension from his muscles. He sighed in frustrated exasperation and wiped his bloodied hand on his trousers. "I'm fine, Jasper."
"None of us are fine, Jasper replied somewhat tonelessly, once he was sure Edward had stopped struggling. "I just thought we could deal with this rationally for a moment before booking a plane to Japan and murdering that...thing."
"Yes, because killing innocent wildlife is the rational response to anything," Edward muttered sarcastically. He looked at the pile of carcasses in disgust. "We couldn't. We have too much to lose over something that isn't our to begin with."
"I don't see why not," Jasper said flatly, narrowed eyes following Edward's. "We've both seen and done some monstrous things, Edward, but that homunculus doesn't even register on their scale. He was proud of what he'd done. He does not need to be left alone to do it again."
"He is not of our world, Jasper," Edward said with disgust, leaning over the kodiak and pushing it with his toe. It didn't matter how much he wanted to rip the hommunculus apart. The fact was that they had already endangered the people they loved and their way of life more than once now. This would only be an added circumstnace. "We have enough on our hands without the added death of a hommunculus."
Jasper glared at him. He knew he was right, though, and so he didn't bother arguing again, or giving in, because Edward would know his thoughts as soon as he did.
"What, then," he asked instead. "We sit back and allow his friends to fight for him in our stead? Everyone feels what you do, even Rosalie. We've never cared so strongly together about anything but Bella and each other."
"He has others to fight his battle for him," Edward said, frowning at how guilty the words made him feel. There was no discernible reason why they should make him feel so. He had been among humans for so long. They all eventually died. Not in the manner Matt had, true, and he hadn't allowed himself to get attached to any other than Bella-- mostly because none of them had really intrigued him-- but even the interesting ones died eventually and they never would, barring extraordinary circumstances. They couldn't get involved each time a human they knew died. "We don't know that we could work against his powers as is. Would you risk Alice's life for something we were not sure of in the first place?"
Jasper snarled, anger welling up in him at his brothers's implications of carelessnes. "Don't you dare bring her into this, Edward. Speak to me about your own feelings, stop rousing mine. That boy's murder affected you greatly. Do you want us to stay our hand?"
"I'm only bringing her into this because it's necessary," Edward growled back, the forced calm atmosphere snapping under Jasper's rising anger. "I'm angry, yes. But he was only human and humans die every day, Jasper. We can't fight each of their battles for them, even if they were considered a friend."
"And how many have you considered a friend?" Jasper growled. "Don't fool with me, Edward, I know exactly what seeing his death did to you. If you want to stay here, fine, I'm not going to attack that thing on my own. But you have every right to go if you want, and we'll follow."
Edward scowled angrily, whirling around and, in a step, he was beside a tree. He felt the need to hit something. Hard. He smashed his fist into the trunk of the tree, satisfied as its enormous girth shook underneath the force.
"We have too much to lose," Edward snarled again. "Our family. Bella. Inciting the Volturi. We don't even know what his allies are like. We're not simply up against vampires or werewolves. We have no idea what we would be dealing with."
"Is that the only thing stopping you?" Jasper wanted to know. He agreed with everything Edward said, but he also believed in fighting when fighting was called for, and Edward had wanted to fight for so very little in all the years he'd known him that Jasper was eager to help him if it meant keeping his brother from going back to a No Human Contact state. Jasper had spoken to very few of them through the computer so far, but the one or two exceptions were enough for him to know he liked this newfound ability to socialize without feeling that ever-present thirst.
"What else would be stopping me?" Edward snapped, grinding his fist into the tree trunk a bit more for added effect.
"You're not thinking it through, then," Jasper told him through gritted teeth. "Attack. Let the Volturi come and help if they want, Jane will be able to put that homunculus in its proper place. Our family can take care of itself, especially against something afraid of such a little thing as poison. Remaining here will only drive you mad. You fight for so little that ignoring such a strong cause now will only make you restless, even after it's over."
"And if the Volturi decide that we are not the ones who deserve their help?" Edward hissed at Jasper. The thought of the Italian vampire coven made his already hot blood boil with anger. "This would be the perfect excuse to eradicate the coven that threatens their own."
"You believe they'd choose a homunculus over us?" Jasper demanded angrily. Edward was always so quick to believe the worst of the Volturi, when it was they who kept their kind safe when someone thought to reveal them. "They're not fools, Edward. It doesn't make sense for us to leave that thing alive, now when he could come for one of us at any moment, come for Bella when you least expect it." He knew he wasn't being fair, that Edward would see immediately that he knew he was hitting below the belt, but he was too angry and too upset to care, his brother's own fury and frustration only fueling his own.
"And do you believe that they couldn't have come and stopped Victoria and her army before it had all gotten out of hand?" Edward hissed, eyes flashing black at Jasper's implication that he wasn't thinking about Bella in all of this. "The Volturi came just after the fight was over. What a great coincidence. Do you think that they wouldn't do the same with the hommunculus? If that thing could kill a few of the Cullens and a few of the humans who knew about the existence of vampires, do you honestly think they would stop it? Don't be absurd."
Jasper's arm flashed and the tree beside him crashed to the ground with a resounding crack. It was all he needed, though, to quell the edge of his temper so that he could approach Edward angrily. He would never lash out at a member of his newfound family, ever, but sometimes he wanted to, the century or so of fighting physically to settle differences just a little to embedded for him to get rid of completely.
"You're making excuses," he snarled angrily, teeth bared in an unmistakably challenging gesture. That he couldn't quell. "I felt what that boy's death did to you, Edward, I've never felt emotion that strong from you with anything unconnected to Bella in the last fifty years. You say you wanted to fight in the war when you were human. Why do you shrink from one now?"
Edward read the thoughts in Jasper's mind and, for a second, considered challenging him in return. If he wanted to lash out, then he should. It wasn't as though Edward weren't perfectly willing, at the moment, to lash back. Not at Jasper in particular, but anyone and anything. He was angry, furious, boiling and irrational though he knew he was being, the monster within him didn't seem to care enough to let him back down.
"Any death would have done the same if you had seen the way that he was ripped apart, Jasper," Edward growled, his voice deepening with anger. "We don't deserve to fight in a human war any longer. We aren't human. We prey on them."
"I didn't have to see it to feel it," Jasper growled back, only a few feet away now and hunched in his anger. It took a great deal of effort for him not to call his brother out on that strong urge to fight. "You think this is a human war? You think that would have even happened were the homunculus human? There are death gods and bad spirits and horrific monsters galore in that place, and you dare hide behind what we are?"
A louder growl exploded in Edward's throat and he punched the tree again and listened with a satisfied grunt as it cracked in two and fell with a loud crash. Its demolition past, however, Edward still found himself furious and had to cross his arms when he turned back to Jasper in order to not do anything foolish.
"We just pulled ourselves out of a war," he glared. "I wanted to fight. I wanted to participate, but I had to think of Bella and I stayed behind because she asked me to. And it was a damn good thing I did because that is where Victoria showed up. Sometimes the best decision in a war is to not rush in, especially when you know so little about the enemies. These aren't Volturi. These aren't werewolves. We know nothing about them."
"You're lecturing me on warfare?" Jasper snarled, the indignation fueling his fury. "This thing could attack any one of us at any minute, like it attacked that human boy, just because it can, and you think we gain a strategical advance to sit back and let it? Sometimes the best defense is an offensive, Edward, unless you would rather we lose another before you see it fit to enter battle."
"What incentive would it have to attack us?" Edward snapped, voice just short of a roar. "We are nothing to it. We've barely even met it. We threatened it, yes, but so did every other person on that thing. The worst thing we could do to our family is to launch ourselves into a war that we know nothing of."
He took a swing at the air angrily, wishing, for just a moment, that it was Jasper's chest he was connecting with.
"Don't you dare imply that I would rather lose someone else and because of cowardice."
"Then don't you imply that we should not fight for that human just because of what we are!" Jasper roared back. He stalked away and snapped a tree in two in a motion two quick to see, halfway back around the clearing again by the time it teetered and fell. He knew Edward was right. The tactical officer in him knew that it was better to lie in wait, to worry about themselves before risking what they had in order to wipe a single evil from the earth. But the human in him, whatever was left of it, wanted to kill that thing for hurting his wife, for wounding his brothers, for upsetting the relative peace of the clan he'd come to care for so much when he'd gone for so long trying to protect so little. When he finally stalked back to Edward again his hands were clenched and his jaw set. He wasn't going to pick a fight needlessly.
"Fine," he assented, "we'll stay. But if that thing comes anywhere near any one of us, I do not want to be having this conversation again."
In the time that it took for Jasper to snap around the trees, Edward had ripped into another one with his anger. It was detrimental to the greenery, perhaps, but he hardly gave a damn about environmental concerns at the moment. He was angry. Furious. Frustrated. And he knew, of course, that Jasper was probably right. Still, it was a fight not worth risking everything they had for. Even if it was a fight that Edward was simply itching to take part in.
By the time Jasper had come back, he had calmed down some and Edward realized it -- felt it -- but he was, unfortunately, not as in control of his emotions as the empath. He was still raging inside.
"If that thing comes anywhere near one of us, you'll be hard put to keep me away from it," he growled fiercely.
This time when Jasper approached, he did so cautiously. Edward's fury was emanating from him in waves. He knew he was partly to blame for that, and while anger was also still boiling in his own gut, he knew he had to calm Edward down from this rage before he did something he regretted.
"Calm down." He laced his words with the emotion, but only with a hint of it. He knew Edward wouldn't bite, was expecting to get snapped at, but he also knew better than to dump a pile of lethargy over his head at once. He'd only be resentful of it later.
Edward started resisting the urge as soon as Jasper came at him with it, as lightly as he did. It was unreasonable for him to feel angry at Jasper for it, given how he could roam their thoughts at free will and, sometimes, even when he didn't want to, but he hated it when he was angry and forced to calm down because his brother directed him to. Nothing made him feel more babied.
"For what?" he spat and he had that urge to swing at his brother, once again.
Jasper could feel the indignation and the violent urges just as strongly as if he were feeling them himself. He took another step closer and kept his arms at his sides in case Edward did decide to swing. He wouldn't have minded. Any way his brother felt the need to work it out of his system, through violence or through emotional sedation, Jasper would do whichever he preferred.
"The decision is made. You made it. Calm down and stop hating yourself for it, it is the right thing to do."
"You didn't seem to think so a few minutes ago," Edward panted from the effort of keeping his rage inside. He was angry. Angry, furious, boiling over and Jasper was the one who was here to take it from him. Edward took a step back as Jasper stepped forward and clenched his hands as his breathing grew even more labored. "Get away. Now."
He couldn't be held accountable for his actions now. Not when his emotions weren't stemming even in the face of his family.
"I'm not going anywhere." Jasper lowered himself into a defensive crouch, arms half-extended at his sides. If Edward needed someone intelligent to fight in order to vent, so be it, he would offer a much more exhausting bout than some hapless bear. "I was angry before. As angry as you are now. We show it in different ways." Now, though, he wouldn't mind a small scuffle of his own. He was still furious, he merely found it easier to control in light of a solid plan.
"Get out of my way, Jasper," Edward snarled, automatically taking a similar position where he was standing. He knew, rationally, that he could never hurt Jasper. His brother could take care of himself and, if he wanted to, overpower the emotions of the moment to calm him out of any final blow. And he was fast too. But even so, Edward could barely control himself now. There was a perpetual growling in his throat that was only growing stronger. "I will snap."
"Snapping would do you good," Jasper growled back, the adrenaline in anticipation of a fight heightening his senses and lowering his voice. "You've been holding everything in too long. Come on, Edward. Better at me than at Bella."
"I wouldn't snap at Bella," Edward snapped, the fury in his voice increasing at the implication. He was almost completely under the control of his emotions now. Of his inner monster. He slowly began moving to the right, unaware that he was doing so until Jasper seemed a few too many feet to the left of where he had originally began.
Jasper mimicked his movements, eyes glinting like a predator's as he focused them on Edward and concentrated on detecting even the slightest hint of movement. "You can't even go near her," he reminded him, awash in the thick emotion rolling from Edward's shoulders. "None of us can. Shed some of that so we don't have to wait."
Edward moved slowly, cautiously, watching Jasper's movements through the eyes of -- not a brother or a friend but a vampire and one who wanted to hurt at that. He circled around, breathing slow, ready to stop at a moment's notice if it came to it.
"I'm not stopping any of you from seeing her." The implication was that this was all his fault. And it made him want to lunge at Jasper. And so he did. Fast, hard, and quicker than the eye could follow.
Jasper had learned to only rely on his eyes for whatever his eyes were capable of doing. The moment they detected movement he responded in kind, a low snarl slipping from his throat as he half-countered Edward's front, half-launched an attack of his own, instinct and experience guiding his hands as they sought out his brother's throat.
Edward saw the lunge in Jasper's mind as clearly as if his brother were executing it at the moment and so a breath later, when Jasper did, Edward had ducked out of the way and flung around behind the other vampire. His hands had been balled into fists, but they itched to open. To close around something and throttle it.
Jasper was familiar with his brother's superior reflexes by now, reflexes so fast he knew he was actually reacting before the move had even been executed. When Edward ducked, Jasper twisted, never daring to expose his back to him for even a moment. They were so close their clothes whispered as they brushed, but were just as quickly several feet apart again, Jasper's attack morphing fluidly into the same circling stance he'd engaged in before.
Edward's teeth snapped at the empty air in front of him because he knew, a moment before it happened that Jasper would not be there anymore. He slid backwards and held his crouched stance, eyes glinting black, with the cold determination and fury of a predator as they flickered to either side of Jasper and the tree behind him. And then, just as quickly, Edward was gone and he had circled round the tree in the blink of an eye to slide up behind where Jasper stood.
Edward could be in one of three places, Jasper knew, after watching the way his eyes had flickered about. He used the small whoosh of air as the vampire passed in order to figure out where, turning and swiping in the same fluid movement, snarling a warning as his hand ripped through the tree. He did not appreciate being attacked from the rear.
Edward wouldn't have used such a move if he weren't completely lost to his monster instincts. Instincts and feelings that did not care about the ethics of fighting -- once you were fighting your brother, the ethics were thrown out anyways. Edward slipped out of the way of the falling tree, swifter than the eye could catch, and was crouched by Jasper's side in an instant, hands positioned to tackled him to the ground.
Edward was fast, even without the mind reading. Jasper knew that going in, though, and had shifted his reactions accordingly. Instead of trying to slip out of the way he braced himself, and when his back hit the dirt he let the force of the blow roll him over without taking away from Edward's momentum. Once on the ground he gripped Edward's shoulders and threw him off again, growling with the exhertion, then scrambled to get his feet under him in order to face him again, suspecting that Edward had seen the move in his mind and had planned some sort of retaliation.
Edward was thrown off for only a second and by the time that Jasper had gotten his feet underneath him to crouch into a standing position, he was already lunging at him again, aiming for his legs to sweep his brother off his feet again and to the ground.
Jasper went down with a furious snarl, frustration at being taken off guard bubbling up in him powerful enough to be broadcast. He latched onto Edward in an attempt to share the force of the blow as they hit the ground, though he grunted when his shoulder took the brunt of it. He immediately rolled with the intent to pin Edward.
Edward could read Jasper's intention and had similar intentions of his own. He wouldn't give in without a fight and if it was pinning he wanted, it was pinning Jasper would get. Edward growled as his brother rolled him over and his shoulder hit the hard, protruding root of the large tree behind them. He tried kicking up as a distraction to force a change in weight so that he would be the one on top, holding Jasper down by the throat.
Jasper was familiar with such antics, though, and let his brother roll him, throwing in his own momentum so that he wasn't on the ground for more than a fraction of a second before he'd thrown them over again, teeth bared, this time holding Edward down by the throat as he came down hard on his knees, straddling Edward's waist so that he couldn't toss them again.
Edward struggled as the positions were, once again reversed. Jasper had a strong grip on his throat and had pinned him officially by the waist and he was beginning to get slightly winded now. Glowering in displeasure at the fact, he grabbed Jasper's wrist and tore the hand from his throat before swinging up and hard at Jasper's face with his free hand.
With Jasper's wrist caught in Edward's grip he had nothing left to block that flash of movement as he swung, so he was forced to lean quickly backwards. Doing so upset his balance, though, and he knew it, and since he knew it Edward did to. He rolled away quickly, back onto his feet again, though he remained lowered in a defensive crouch should Edward have tried to follow.
Edward growled again and got to his feet in a snap, but didn't attack for the moment. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, noticing Jasper looked just as scratched and dirty as he did, probably from all of the rolling around in the dirt.
He was beginning to calm down now, the excess energy and anger having been fueled out through his fighting. Still, he didn't relax, merely beginning the circling again. He needed to begin breathing deeply again, clearing his mind and perhaps slowing his non-existant heartbeat.
Jasper felt the decrease in aggressiveness, but began circling anew anyway, hardly mindful of the way either of them looked in the face of this mock-fight that they were obviously both using in order to vent some of their mutually pent-up rage. Edward was good. No amount of experience could outwit someone who knew his next move as soon as he did. It was envigorating to fight someone so fast and intelligent after so many years of veritable fasting.
He waited until Edward was standing next to a large tree root before lunging forward again. His brother would either have to take the blow or trip; either way, he was going down.
Edward knew what Jasper's plan was as soon as he had thought it, but his brother had him cornered nicely against the tree root. Cursing under his breath, he ducked Jasper's blow, but also realized that he would have to trip back over the root. Still, he wouldn't go down without taking his brother with him. He lunged forward even as he tripped backwards and grabbed his brother around the waist before they both went slamming into the tree and then toppling over as it shattered with a large crack and crash behind them.
Jasper figured he might try something like that, but there was nothing to do for it until after they hit the ground. He made sure Edward took the brunt of it this time, throwing his weight into landing on him as well, figuring a few bruises wouldn't hurt, they were probably his first in a hundred years. After the shock rolled through him he twisted to press his forearm to Edward's throat, glaring down at him with a challenging glint in his eyes. He could call it or throw him off again, Jasper wouldn't mind another row.
Edward winced as the slammed into the ground and tried to ignore the bubbling frustration when Jasper reacted faster than he did. He was getting rusty. This irritated him even further. Edward grabbed Jasper's forearm before it reached his throat and twisted it out of the way so that he could swing up with his fist and body. He tried to wrestle Jasper backwards, finding his breathing begin to labor a little more than before.
Edward was a little prat who didn't know when to stay down, and Jasper let loose a frustrated growl as he narrowly avoided a punch to the head, surrendering his balance for it and snarling as he found himself being bowled over backwards. He caught Edward's wrist with his free hand to avoid a repeat and let himself be tossed where he would; he would counter when he had solid ground beneath him again.
"I don't want to stay down," Edward growled menacingly and a little out of breath as they both fell backwards onto one another again. This wrestling was getting a little tiresome, but they were both venting pent up stress and it was, very slowly, making Edward sane again. He had been insane for far too long. He stopped above Jasper, glaring down at his brother and trying to regain his breath while thinking of a way to reconcile himself with the fact that Jasper held one of his wrists and his burning urge to fight was slowly ebbing.
Jasper glared right back, his grip on Edward's wrist tightening slightly as a warning against any other unexpected tricks. He didn't have to read minds to know that his brother excelled in outthinking his enemies. "Get off," he replied in a growl of his own. He was being pressed into the foliage by a vampire only two-thirds his age and with only a fraction of his experience, and while he knew why, it only barely lessened his natural indignation at their positions.
Edward could read Jasper's indignation clearly in his mind and although it gave him a certain type of satisfaction to hear it, it also slowly snapped him back to the situation at hand and who exactly he was trying to beat into the ground.
"Fine," he glared back. "Let go of my wrist."
"Then let go of my arm," Jasper hissed. He was loathe to give in first, but this was a scuffle with his brother, not a newborn, and he grudgingly released him. "Now get off."
Edward leaned forward until his face was right above Jasper and he was breathing down on his brother's face.
"Fine," he snapped and then, in a flash, he was off of Jasper and slinking away towards one of the unripped trees.
It took Jasper a moment longer to recover from his brother's unexpected show of superiority, and then he was back on his feet again as well, glaring at Edward's back as he brushed stray leaves from his arms and deliberately thought a lot of very nasty things. He was going to pay for that one. Jasper was very rarely bested; he wasn't about to accept his brother's taunting without a rematch, if not now, then later.
"Are you calmer?" That had, after all, been the entire point of the small clearing they'd created around themselves.
Edward scowled as Jasper's thoughts ran through his mind. He tried to block out his sibling's thoughts for privacy when he could, but he could hardly help it when they shouted things to him in his head. It was infuriating at best.
"Peachy," Edward retorted again as he continued slinking, but a few deep breaths later he realized he was much calmer than he had been before.
Jasper couldn't repress a small smirk. Edward was very obviously much better, he could feel it, but too miffed to admit it. He crossed his arms and watched him sulk. "Good."
Edward sulked like a pro and it was only after circling around the impromptu clearing a few times with Jasper on his tail that he finally stopped, sighed, and turned around.
"You are the most infuriating sibling I have ever had."
Jasper grinned. Edward may have gotten the upper hand in their little spar, but he'd won overall. "From you, I'll take that as a compliment."
"How is that a compliment?" Edward protested, feeling a little petulant.
"You can read my mind," Jasper reminded him smugly. "To infuriate you is more difficult than it sounds, you know."
"Hardly," Edward sighed and passed a hand over his eyes as though it would rid him of the headache he currently found lodged there. "These days, at least."
This Jasper could help with, letting a wave of relaxation wash over his brother that he knew wouldn't disappear as soon as he did unless Edward purposely shoved it off. "You should stop thinking about it," he advised, well aware that his statement was easier said than done.
Edward peered out through a crack in his hand, thinking about rebuking his brother, but deciding against it. Jasper only meant to help and he could do with a little relaxation.
"If I could, I would have by now."
"Is it only what you saw in that thing's mind that bothers you?" Jasper wanted to know. Edward's horror over what had happened was more than apparent to him, but he could only feel the emotion itself, not the reasons behind it. "Or did you know him that well?"
Edward struggled with the question himself. By all reason, he should not have been nearly so affected as he had been. That had been, perhaps, half the frustration itself. That he should be so affected by the death of someone he had met, less than a month before. True, it had been the same for Bella, but that was a different scenario entirely.
He hesitated before beginning what he believed was probably the best explanation.
"I think I .... considered him a friend." He frowned at the words.
Jasper nodded. He could sense his brother's confusion, and that answer made as much sense as any he would probably get from him. He looked down and flicked a random leaf from his sleeve, inconspicuously trying to sense if Edward was ready to go back yet, or if he wanted to be left alone.
Unfortunately, inconspicuousness didn't work when the person trying to be hidden could read your mind.
"Yes," Edward sighed stopping and finally setting about brushing twigs and leaves off of him.
"...Yes which?" Jasper asked after a moment, realizing he'd been wondering two different things. "Do you want me to go?" He'd understand if Edward wanted a little privacy, he was quite fond of it himself.
At this Edward laughed. Not everyone was a mind reader. Sometimes it was hard to come to terms with that.
"You've ruined what little privacy I had."
"I'm sorry," Jasper apologized honestly. "You needed to calm down, though. Your temper is horrible."
Edward snorted and broke a branch off of the nearest tree. Not out of actual anger, but just because.
"You're one to talk."
"I'm not the one tearing the forest in two," Jasper said evenly, watching.
Edward blinked.
"You helped."
Jasper snorted, holding back another grin. "Not anymore, I'm not. You should agree to wrestle more often. Emmett would like the extra competition."
Edward winced at that.
"I have no intention of sacrificing my finest wardrobe to Emmett's competitive spirit."
"Then buy another one for wrestling," Jasper chuckled, amused by his brother's sense of priorities.
"But that's what he has you for," Edward said and finally, after so long, his face relaxed into some semblance of a smile.
"Then hunt kodiaks with him," Jasper replied with a grin, relieved to see his brother calmed down enough to at least attempt a smile. "Something to relieve the tension you keep building up."
"Not a bad venture if I do say so myself," Edward said mildly, looking down at the slain kodiak.
"Perhaps the two of you could become professional bear wrestlers," Jasper suggested. If Edward felt well enough to make jokes, he would oblige him.
"That wouldn't be conspicuous at all," Edward chuckled before sighing. He ran a hand through his hair and looked up at Jasper. This was tough.
Jasper felt his unease and gave him a questioning look. "What?"
"Nothing in particular," Edward said, trying to seem glum. "He had wanted to see Emmett wrestle a bear."
"Oh." Jasper mentally kicked himself. He wasn't very good at this whole comforting thing when he was trying to do it correctly. "Sorry."
"Don't be ridiculous," Edward sighed. Then he looked up. "Shall we?"
"Only if you're ready," Jasper replied warily. He didn't want Edward snapping at his wife again.
"I'll apologize to her," Edward sighed again. That was one thing he needed to deal with. "I know I was in the wrong."
"Thank you." Now that he felt Edward was actually calm enough, Jasper stepped closer again so that they were a normal distance apart instead of glaring from across the clearing.
"I know you can read her thoughts. She feels as awful about it as you do."
"I know. I couldn't control myself earlier," Edward muttered. It was hardly an excuse. A century later, he could hardly blame his behavior on a temper tantrum or his inner vampire, but that was how it had been. He'd explain it to Alice and she would understand as well.
Jasper clapped a hand over his shoulder. He could feel the shame and regret, and he understood. If Alice didn't, he would explain it to her later. Edward was the opposite of a bad brother.
"None of us could. It'll be fine."
"Not for the kid," Edward said and sighed, once again. That bothered him. "Not for Matt. It seems worthless lingering over what's happened, but that was really not a way anyone deserved to go."
"I know," Jasper agreed, sighing. He'd seen and done some monstrous things in the past, but always to other monsters, never to any humans who'd stumbled into their way. "I am sorry."
"So am I," Edward nodded. Then he sighed for the last time and released his remaining pent up frustration on a tree nearby. It fell with a satisfying crack. "We're far more effective than any lumberyard.
Jasper grinned. Even frustrated, his brother had a sense of humor. "At least the tree can't feel it," he pointed out. "You can knock down as many as you want to before we go back. Alice will know where to find us."
"Such prejudice. Perhaps you've only to extend your empath abilities to those containing non-animal cells," Edward chuckled. "Yes. Still, we should make sure Emmett hasn't taken to destroying the entire wildlife here."
"Emmett is more prone to temper tantrums," Jasper chuckled back. "He destroys a small forest and then he's better. You're far more complicated."
"Although the destruction of trees helps," Edward pointed out before beckoning Jasper to follow him back. Yes. He was complicated. But then, so was this situation.
Nodding, Jasper stepped up beside Edward to walk back with him. He felt better too, to be honest. Walking back would take the final edge off, and hopefully no one would look too closely at the clearing they were leaving behind them.
Summary; Edward and Jasper, venting after Matt's death (backdated log). Sibling wrestling and vampiric violence abound. Trees fall. Two pretty, pretty boys roll around with each other in the dirt very platonically. ♥
They'd each been hunting on their own for hours, bordering a full day now, and it had hardly helped. Jasper knew because he'd been keeping an eye on Edward in particular--Edward, who had been forced to actually watch that poor boy get slaughtered, Edward, who had befriended the boy and brought him into their home only days before. Jasper was worried about him. Emmett and Rosalie too, but he knew the way they handled their emotions, and he knew how Edward tended to handle his, and it was the oldest, most distant of those three who he was worried about.
Scent and random wildlife carnage led him quickly to where his brother had paused. He approached silently from the dark trees to Edward's left, letting his thoughts announce his presence as they always did. He wanted to assess Edward's emotions as thoroughly as possible before actually speaking with him.
Edward finished tearing the throat out of the Kodiak and throwing its body down beside the two foxes he had attacked earlier. The two smaller creatures had hardly put up a fight. It had been highly unsatisfying. The kodiak, on the other hand, had tried to claw Edward's eyes out. It had suited him well for his current purpose, which was to release all of the pent up anger and frustration and horror he had within him. He was a monster, he knew. The pile of animal bodies proved it, but he couldn't help but feel disgusted at what he had seen. That hommunculus was no better than the Volturi. He almost wished he could provoke Aro to send the fleet after it, but he knew better than that. He would rather have a hand in its death himself, so angry was he.
He sensed Jasper's presence before he heard his thoughts, but the latter soon joined up with the former.
"Peachy," Edward grunted to answer the unspoken question in his brother's mind.
It was difficult--he himself was still upset over what had happened, and over how much it had affected this normally stoic family--but with a little effort, Jasper managed. A blanket of calm settled over them both as he simultaneously materialized beside a clawed up tree. He leaned over until his shoulder rested against the tough bark, arms folded over his chest, sleeves rolled up to the elbow so that the blood on his forearms wouldn't soak into them completely.
"Everyone is worried about you." The others would keep their distance until it was time to go back.
Edward growled as he felt the calm descend on him. He struggled against it. He wanted to be angry. To let the monster inside him loose in a way that he had never wanted to before, save three occasions.
"I'm fine," he snapped at his brother irrationally. Another growl escaped his throat as he continued to struggle, but slowly, gradually, Jasper won out and he could feel the calm easing the tension from his muscles. He sighed in frustrated exasperation and wiped his bloodied hand on his trousers. "I'm fine, Jasper."
"None of us are fine, Jasper replied somewhat tonelessly, once he was sure Edward had stopped struggling. "I just thought we could deal with this rationally for a moment before booking a plane to Japan and murdering that...thing."
"Yes, because killing innocent wildlife is the rational response to anything," Edward muttered sarcastically. He looked at the pile of carcasses in disgust. "We couldn't. We have too much to lose over something that isn't our to begin with."
"I don't see why not," Jasper said flatly, narrowed eyes following Edward's. "We've both seen and done some monstrous things, Edward, but that homunculus doesn't even register on their scale. He was proud of what he'd done. He does not need to be left alone to do it again."
"He is not of our world, Jasper," Edward said with disgust, leaning over the kodiak and pushing it with his toe. It didn't matter how much he wanted to rip the hommunculus apart. The fact was that they had already endangered the people they loved and their way of life more than once now. This would only be an added circumstnace. "We have enough on our hands without the added death of a hommunculus."
Jasper glared at him. He knew he was right, though, and so he didn't bother arguing again, or giving in, because Edward would know his thoughts as soon as he did.
"What, then," he asked instead. "We sit back and allow his friends to fight for him in our stead? Everyone feels what you do, even Rosalie. We've never cared so strongly together about anything but Bella and each other."
"He has others to fight his battle for him," Edward said, frowning at how guilty the words made him feel. There was no discernible reason why they should make him feel so. He had been among humans for so long. They all eventually died. Not in the manner Matt had, true, and he hadn't allowed himself to get attached to any other than Bella-- mostly because none of them had really intrigued him-- but even the interesting ones died eventually and they never would, barring extraordinary circumstances. They couldn't get involved each time a human they knew died. "We don't know that we could work against his powers as is. Would you risk Alice's life for something we were not sure of in the first place?"
Jasper snarled, anger welling up in him at his brothers's implications of carelessnes. "Don't you dare bring her into this, Edward. Speak to me about your own feelings, stop rousing mine. That boy's murder affected you greatly. Do you want us to stay our hand?"
"I'm only bringing her into this because it's necessary," Edward growled back, the forced calm atmosphere snapping under Jasper's rising anger. "I'm angry, yes. But he was only human and humans die every day, Jasper. We can't fight each of their battles for them, even if they were considered a friend."
"And how many have you considered a friend?" Jasper growled. "Don't fool with me, Edward, I know exactly what seeing his death did to you. If you want to stay here, fine, I'm not going to attack that thing on my own. But you have every right to go if you want, and we'll follow."
Edward scowled angrily, whirling around and, in a step, he was beside a tree. He felt the need to hit something. Hard. He smashed his fist into the trunk of the tree, satisfied as its enormous girth shook underneath the force.
"We have too much to lose," Edward snarled again. "Our family. Bella. Inciting the Volturi. We don't even know what his allies are like. We're not simply up against vampires or werewolves. We have no idea what we would be dealing with."
"Is that the only thing stopping you?" Jasper wanted to know. He agreed with everything Edward said, but he also believed in fighting when fighting was called for, and Edward had wanted to fight for so very little in all the years he'd known him that Jasper was eager to help him if it meant keeping his brother from going back to a No Human Contact state. Jasper had spoken to very few of them through the computer so far, but the one or two exceptions were enough for him to know he liked this newfound ability to socialize without feeling that ever-present thirst.
"What else would be stopping me?" Edward snapped, grinding his fist into the tree trunk a bit more for added effect.
"You're not thinking it through, then," Jasper told him through gritted teeth. "Attack. Let the Volturi come and help if they want, Jane will be able to put that homunculus in its proper place. Our family can take care of itself, especially against something afraid of such a little thing as poison. Remaining here will only drive you mad. You fight for so little that ignoring such a strong cause now will only make you restless, even after it's over."
"And if the Volturi decide that we are not the ones who deserve their help?" Edward hissed at Jasper. The thought of the Italian vampire coven made his already hot blood boil with anger. "This would be the perfect excuse to eradicate the coven that threatens their own."
"You believe they'd choose a homunculus over us?" Jasper demanded angrily. Edward was always so quick to believe the worst of the Volturi, when it was they who kept their kind safe when someone thought to reveal them. "They're not fools, Edward. It doesn't make sense for us to leave that thing alive, now when he could come for one of us at any moment, come for Bella when you least expect it." He knew he wasn't being fair, that Edward would see immediately that he knew he was hitting below the belt, but he was too angry and too upset to care, his brother's own fury and frustration only fueling his own.
"And do you believe that they couldn't have come and stopped Victoria and her army before it had all gotten out of hand?" Edward hissed, eyes flashing black at Jasper's implication that he wasn't thinking about Bella in all of this. "The Volturi came just after the fight was over. What a great coincidence. Do you think that they wouldn't do the same with the hommunculus? If that thing could kill a few of the Cullens and a few of the humans who knew about the existence of vampires, do you honestly think they would stop it? Don't be absurd."
Jasper's arm flashed and the tree beside him crashed to the ground with a resounding crack. It was all he needed, though, to quell the edge of his temper so that he could approach Edward angrily. He would never lash out at a member of his newfound family, ever, but sometimes he wanted to, the century or so of fighting physically to settle differences just a little to embedded for him to get rid of completely.
"You're making excuses," he snarled angrily, teeth bared in an unmistakably challenging gesture. That he couldn't quell. "I felt what that boy's death did to you, Edward, I've never felt emotion that strong from you with anything unconnected to Bella in the last fifty years. You say you wanted to fight in the war when you were human. Why do you shrink from one now?"
Edward read the thoughts in Jasper's mind and, for a second, considered challenging him in return. If he wanted to lash out, then he should. It wasn't as though Edward weren't perfectly willing, at the moment, to lash back. Not at Jasper in particular, but anyone and anything. He was angry, furious, boiling and irrational though he knew he was being, the monster within him didn't seem to care enough to let him back down.
"Any death would have done the same if you had seen the way that he was ripped apart, Jasper," Edward growled, his voice deepening with anger. "We don't deserve to fight in a human war any longer. We aren't human. We prey on them."
"I didn't have to see it to feel it," Jasper growled back, only a few feet away now and hunched in his anger. It took a great deal of effort for him not to call his brother out on that strong urge to fight. "You think this is a human war? You think that would have even happened were the homunculus human? There are death gods and bad spirits and horrific monsters galore in that place, and you dare hide behind what we are?"
A louder growl exploded in Edward's throat and he punched the tree again and listened with a satisfied grunt as it cracked in two and fell with a loud crash. Its demolition past, however, Edward still found himself furious and had to cross his arms when he turned back to Jasper in order to not do anything foolish.
"We just pulled ourselves out of a war," he glared. "I wanted to fight. I wanted to participate, but I had to think of Bella and I stayed behind because she asked me to. And it was a damn good thing I did because that is where Victoria showed up. Sometimes the best decision in a war is to not rush in, especially when you know so little about the enemies. These aren't Volturi. These aren't werewolves. We know nothing about them."
"You're lecturing me on warfare?" Jasper snarled, the indignation fueling his fury. "This thing could attack any one of us at any minute, like it attacked that human boy, just because it can, and you think we gain a strategical advance to sit back and let it? Sometimes the best defense is an offensive, Edward, unless you would rather we lose another before you see it fit to enter battle."
"What incentive would it have to attack us?" Edward snapped, voice just short of a roar. "We are nothing to it. We've barely even met it. We threatened it, yes, but so did every other person on that thing. The worst thing we could do to our family is to launch ourselves into a war that we know nothing of."
He took a swing at the air angrily, wishing, for just a moment, that it was Jasper's chest he was connecting with.
"Don't you dare imply that I would rather lose someone else and because of cowardice."
"Then don't you imply that we should not fight for that human just because of what we are!" Jasper roared back. He stalked away and snapped a tree in two in a motion two quick to see, halfway back around the clearing again by the time it teetered and fell. He knew Edward was right. The tactical officer in him knew that it was better to lie in wait, to worry about themselves before risking what they had in order to wipe a single evil from the earth. But the human in him, whatever was left of it, wanted to kill that thing for hurting his wife, for wounding his brothers, for upsetting the relative peace of the clan he'd come to care for so much when he'd gone for so long trying to protect so little. When he finally stalked back to Edward again his hands were clenched and his jaw set. He wasn't going to pick a fight needlessly.
"Fine," he assented, "we'll stay. But if that thing comes anywhere near any one of us, I do not want to be having this conversation again."
In the time that it took for Jasper to snap around the trees, Edward had ripped into another one with his anger. It was detrimental to the greenery, perhaps, but he hardly gave a damn about environmental concerns at the moment. He was angry. Furious. Frustrated. And he knew, of course, that Jasper was probably right. Still, it was a fight not worth risking everything they had for. Even if it was a fight that Edward was simply itching to take part in.
By the time Jasper had come back, he had calmed down some and Edward realized it -- felt it -- but he was, unfortunately, not as in control of his emotions as the empath. He was still raging inside.
"If that thing comes anywhere near one of us, you'll be hard put to keep me away from it," he growled fiercely.
This time when Jasper approached, he did so cautiously. Edward's fury was emanating from him in waves. He knew he was partly to blame for that, and while anger was also still boiling in his own gut, he knew he had to calm Edward down from this rage before he did something he regretted.
"Calm down." He laced his words with the emotion, but only with a hint of it. He knew Edward wouldn't bite, was expecting to get snapped at, but he also knew better than to dump a pile of lethargy over his head at once. He'd only be resentful of it later.
Edward started resisting the urge as soon as Jasper came at him with it, as lightly as he did. It was unreasonable for him to feel angry at Jasper for it, given how he could roam their thoughts at free will and, sometimes, even when he didn't want to, but he hated it when he was angry and forced to calm down because his brother directed him to. Nothing made him feel more babied.
"For what?" he spat and he had that urge to swing at his brother, once again.
Jasper could feel the indignation and the violent urges just as strongly as if he were feeling them himself. He took another step closer and kept his arms at his sides in case Edward did decide to swing. He wouldn't have minded. Any way his brother felt the need to work it out of his system, through violence or through emotional sedation, Jasper would do whichever he preferred.
"The decision is made. You made it. Calm down and stop hating yourself for it, it is the right thing to do."
"You didn't seem to think so a few minutes ago," Edward panted from the effort of keeping his rage inside. He was angry. Angry, furious, boiling over and Jasper was the one who was here to take it from him. Edward took a step back as Jasper stepped forward and clenched his hands as his breathing grew even more labored. "Get away. Now."
He couldn't be held accountable for his actions now. Not when his emotions weren't stemming even in the face of his family.
"I'm not going anywhere." Jasper lowered himself into a defensive crouch, arms half-extended at his sides. If Edward needed someone intelligent to fight in order to vent, so be it, he would offer a much more exhausting bout than some hapless bear. "I was angry before. As angry as you are now. We show it in different ways." Now, though, he wouldn't mind a small scuffle of his own. He was still furious, he merely found it easier to control in light of a solid plan.
"Get out of my way, Jasper," Edward snarled, automatically taking a similar position where he was standing. He knew, rationally, that he could never hurt Jasper. His brother could take care of himself and, if he wanted to, overpower the emotions of the moment to calm him out of any final blow. And he was fast too. But even so, Edward could barely control himself now. There was a perpetual growling in his throat that was only growing stronger. "I will snap."
"Snapping would do you good," Jasper growled back, the adrenaline in anticipation of a fight heightening his senses and lowering his voice. "You've been holding everything in too long. Come on, Edward. Better at me than at Bella."
"I wouldn't snap at Bella," Edward snapped, the fury in his voice increasing at the implication. He was almost completely under the control of his emotions now. Of his inner monster. He slowly began moving to the right, unaware that he was doing so until Jasper seemed a few too many feet to the left of where he had originally began.
Jasper mimicked his movements, eyes glinting like a predator's as he focused them on Edward and concentrated on detecting even the slightest hint of movement. "You can't even go near her," he reminded him, awash in the thick emotion rolling from Edward's shoulders. "None of us can. Shed some of that so we don't have to wait."
Edward moved slowly, cautiously, watching Jasper's movements through the eyes of -- not a brother or a friend but a vampire and one who wanted to hurt at that. He circled around, breathing slow, ready to stop at a moment's notice if it came to it.
"I'm not stopping any of you from seeing her." The implication was that this was all his fault. And it made him want to lunge at Jasper. And so he did. Fast, hard, and quicker than the eye could follow.
Jasper had learned to only rely on his eyes for whatever his eyes were capable of doing. The moment they detected movement he responded in kind, a low snarl slipping from his throat as he half-countered Edward's front, half-launched an attack of his own, instinct and experience guiding his hands as they sought out his brother's throat.
Edward saw the lunge in Jasper's mind as clearly as if his brother were executing it at the moment and so a breath later, when Jasper did, Edward had ducked out of the way and flung around behind the other vampire. His hands had been balled into fists, but they itched to open. To close around something and throttle it.
Jasper was familiar with his brother's superior reflexes by now, reflexes so fast he knew he was actually reacting before the move had even been executed. When Edward ducked, Jasper twisted, never daring to expose his back to him for even a moment. They were so close their clothes whispered as they brushed, but were just as quickly several feet apart again, Jasper's attack morphing fluidly into the same circling stance he'd engaged in before.
Edward's teeth snapped at the empty air in front of him because he knew, a moment before it happened that Jasper would not be there anymore. He slid backwards and held his crouched stance, eyes glinting black, with the cold determination and fury of a predator as they flickered to either side of Jasper and the tree behind him. And then, just as quickly, Edward was gone and he had circled round the tree in the blink of an eye to slide up behind where Jasper stood.
Edward could be in one of three places, Jasper knew, after watching the way his eyes had flickered about. He used the small whoosh of air as the vampire passed in order to figure out where, turning and swiping in the same fluid movement, snarling a warning as his hand ripped through the tree. He did not appreciate being attacked from the rear.
Edward wouldn't have used such a move if he weren't completely lost to his monster instincts. Instincts and feelings that did not care about the ethics of fighting -- once you were fighting your brother, the ethics were thrown out anyways. Edward slipped out of the way of the falling tree, swifter than the eye could catch, and was crouched by Jasper's side in an instant, hands positioned to tackled him to the ground.
Edward was fast, even without the mind reading. Jasper knew that going in, though, and had shifted his reactions accordingly. Instead of trying to slip out of the way he braced himself, and when his back hit the dirt he let the force of the blow roll him over without taking away from Edward's momentum. Once on the ground he gripped Edward's shoulders and threw him off again, growling with the exhertion, then scrambled to get his feet under him in order to face him again, suspecting that Edward had seen the move in his mind and had planned some sort of retaliation.
Edward was thrown off for only a second and by the time that Jasper had gotten his feet underneath him to crouch into a standing position, he was already lunging at him again, aiming for his legs to sweep his brother off his feet again and to the ground.
Jasper went down with a furious snarl, frustration at being taken off guard bubbling up in him powerful enough to be broadcast. He latched onto Edward in an attempt to share the force of the blow as they hit the ground, though he grunted when his shoulder took the brunt of it. He immediately rolled with the intent to pin Edward.
Edward could read Jasper's intention and had similar intentions of his own. He wouldn't give in without a fight and if it was pinning he wanted, it was pinning Jasper would get. Edward growled as his brother rolled him over and his shoulder hit the hard, protruding root of the large tree behind them. He tried kicking up as a distraction to force a change in weight so that he would be the one on top, holding Jasper down by the throat.
Jasper was familiar with such antics, though, and let his brother roll him, throwing in his own momentum so that he wasn't on the ground for more than a fraction of a second before he'd thrown them over again, teeth bared, this time holding Edward down by the throat as he came down hard on his knees, straddling Edward's waist so that he couldn't toss them again.
Edward struggled as the positions were, once again reversed. Jasper had a strong grip on his throat and had pinned him officially by the waist and he was beginning to get slightly winded now. Glowering in displeasure at the fact, he grabbed Jasper's wrist and tore the hand from his throat before swinging up and hard at Jasper's face with his free hand.
With Jasper's wrist caught in Edward's grip he had nothing left to block that flash of movement as he swung, so he was forced to lean quickly backwards. Doing so upset his balance, though, and he knew it, and since he knew it Edward did to. He rolled away quickly, back onto his feet again, though he remained lowered in a defensive crouch should Edward have tried to follow.
Edward growled again and got to his feet in a snap, but didn't attack for the moment. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, noticing Jasper looked just as scratched and dirty as he did, probably from all of the rolling around in the dirt.
He was beginning to calm down now, the excess energy and anger having been fueled out through his fighting. Still, he didn't relax, merely beginning the circling again. He needed to begin breathing deeply again, clearing his mind and perhaps slowing his non-existant heartbeat.
Jasper felt the decrease in aggressiveness, but began circling anew anyway, hardly mindful of the way either of them looked in the face of this mock-fight that they were obviously both using in order to vent some of their mutually pent-up rage. Edward was good. No amount of experience could outwit someone who knew his next move as soon as he did. It was envigorating to fight someone so fast and intelligent after so many years of veritable fasting.
He waited until Edward was standing next to a large tree root before lunging forward again. His brother would either have to take the blow or trip; either way, he was going down.
Edward knew what Jasper's plan was as soon as he had thought it, but his brother had him cornered nicely against the tree root. Cursing under his breath, he ducked Jasper's blow, but also realized that he would have to trip back over the root. Still, he wouldn't go down without taking his brother with him. He lunged forward even as he tripped backwards and grabbed his brother around the waist before they both went slamming into the tree and then toppling over as it shattered with a large crack and crash behind them.
Jasper figured he might try something like that, but there was nothing to do for it until after they hit the ground. He made sure Edward took the brunt of it this time, throwing his weight into landing on him as well, figuring a few bruises wouldn't hurt, they were probably his first in a hundred years. After the shock rolled through him he twisted to press his forearm to Edward's throat, glaring down at him with a challenging glint in his eyes. He could call it or throw him off again, Jasper wouldn't mind another row.
Edward winced as the slammed into the ground and tried to ignore the bubbling frustration when Jasper reacted faster than he did. He was getting rusty. This irritated him even further. Edward grabbed Jasper's forearm before it reached his throat and twisted it out of the way so that he could swing up with his fist and body. He tried to wrestle Jasper backwards, finding his breathing begin to labor a little more than before.
Edward was a little prat who didn't know when to stay down, and Jasper let loose a frustrated growl as he narrowly avoided a punch to the head, surrendering his balance for it and snarling as he found himself being bowled over backwards. He caught Edward's wrist with his free hand to avoid a repeat and let himself be tossed where he would; he would counter when he had solid ground beneath him again.
"I don't want to stay down," Edward growled menacingly and a little out of breath as they both fell backwards onto one another again. This wrestling was getting a little tiresome, but they were both venting pent up stress and it was, very slowly, making Edward sane again. He had been insane for far too long. He stopped above Jasper, glaring down at his brother and trying to regain his breath while thinking of a way to reconcile himself with the fact that Jasper held one of his wrists and his burning urge to fight was slowly ebbing.
Jasper glared right back, his grip on Edward's wrist tightening slightly as a warning against any other unexpected tricks. He didn't have to read minds to know that his brother excelled in outthinking his enemies. "Get off," he replied in a growl of his own. He was being pressed into the foliage by a vampire only two-thirds his age and with only a fraction of his experience, and while he knew why, it only barely lessened his natural indignation at their positions.
Edward could read Jasper's indignation clearly in his mind and although it gave him a certain type of satisfaction to hear it, it also slowly snapped him back to the situation at hand and who exactly he was trying to beat into the ground.
"Fine," he glared back. "Let go of my wrist."
"Then let go of my arm," Jasper hissed. He was loathe to give in first, but this was a scuffle with his brother, not a newborn, and he grudgingly released him. "Now get off."
Edward leaned forward until his face was right above Jasper and he was breathing down on his brother's face.
"Fine," he snapped and then, in a flash, he was off of Jasper and slinking away towards one of the unripped trees.
It took Jasper a moment longer to recover from his brother's unexpected show of superiority, and then he was back on his feet again as well, glaring at Edward's back as he brushed stray leaves from his arms and deliberately thought a lot of very nasty things. He was going to pay for that one. Jasper was very rarely bested; he wasn't about to accept his brother's taunting without a rematch, if not now, then later.
"Are you calmer?" That had, after all, been the entire point of the small clearing they'd created around themselves.
Edward scowled as Jasper's thoughts ran through his mind. He tried to block out his sibling's thoughts for privacy when he could, but he could hardly help it when they shouted things to him in his head. It was infuriating at best.
"Peachy," Edward retorted again as he continued slinking, but a few deep breaths later he realized he was much calmer than he had been before.
Jasper couldn't repress a small smirk. Edward was very obviously much better, he could feel it, but too miffed to admit it. He crossed his arms and watched him sulk. "Good."
Edward sulked like a pro and it was only after circling around the impromptu clearing a few times with Jasper on his tail that he finally stopped, sighed, and turned around.
"You are the most infuriating sibling I have ever had."
Jasper grinned. Edward may have gotten the upper hand in their little spar, but he'd won overall. "From you, I'll take that as a compliment."
"How is that a compliment?" Edward protested, feeling a little petulant.
"You can read my mind," Jasper reminded him smugly. "To infuriate you is more difficult than it sounds, you know."
"Hardly," Edward sighed and passed a hand over his eyes as though it would rid him of the headache he currently found lodged there. "These days, at least."
This Jasper could help with, letting a wave of relaxation wash over his brother that he knew wouldn't disappear as soon as he did unless Edward purposely shoved it off. "You should stop thinking about it," he advised, well aware that his statement was easier said than done.
Edward peered out through a crack in his hand, thinking about rebuking his brother, but deciding against it. Jasper only meant to help and he could do with a little relaxation.
"If I could, I would have by now."
"Is it only what you saw in that thing's mind that bothers you?" Jasper wanted to know. Edward's horror over what had happened was more than apparent to him, but he could only feel the emotion itself, not the reasons behind it. "Or did you know him that well?"
Edward struggled with the question himself. By all reason, he should not have been nearly so affected as he had been. That had been, perhaps, half the frustration itself. That he should be so affected by the death of someone he had met, less than a month before. True, it had been the same for Bella, but that was a different scenario entirely.
He hesitated before beginning what he believed was probably the best explanation.
"I think I .... considered him a friend." He frowned at the words.
Jasper nodded. He could sense his brother's confusion, and that answer made as much sense as any he would probably get from him. He looked down and flicked a random leaf from his sleeve, inconspicuously trying to sense if Edward was ready to go back yet, or if he wanted to be left alone.
Unfortunately, inconspicuousness didn't work when the person trying to be hidden could read your mind.
"Yes," Edward sighed stopping and finally setting about brushing twigs and leaves off of him.
"...Yes which?" Jasper asked after a moment, realizing he'd been wondering two different things. "Do you want me to go?" He'd understand if Edward wanted a little privacy, he was quite fond of it himself.
At this Edward laughed. Not everyone was a mind reader. Sometimes it was hard to come to terms with that.
"You've ruined what little privacy I had."
"I'm sorry," Jasper apologized honestly. "You needed to calm down, though. Your temper is horrible."
Edward snorted and broke a branch off of the nearest tree. Not out of actual anger, but just because.
"You're one to talk."
"I'm not the one tearing the forest in two," Jasper said evenly, watching.
Edward blinked.
"You helped."
Jasper snorted, holding back another grin. "Not anymore, I'm not. You should agree to wrestle more often. Emmett would like the extra competition."
Edward winced at that.
"I have no intention of sacrificing my finest wardrobe to Emmett's competitive spirit."
"Then buy another one for wrestling," Jasper chuckled, amused by his brother's sense of priorities.
"But that's what he has you for," Edward said and finally, after so long, his face relaxed into some semblance of a smile.
"Then hunt kodiaks with him," Jasper replied with a grin, relieved to see his brother calmed down enough to at least attempt a smile. "Something to relieve the tension you keep building up."
"Not a bad venture if I do say so myself," Edward said mildly, looking down at the slain kodiak.
"Perhaps the two of you could become professional bear wrestlers," Jasper suggested. If Edward felt well enough to make jokes, he would oblige him.
"That wouldn't be conspicuous at all," Edward chuckled before sighing. He ran a hand through his hair and looked up at Jasper. This was tough.
Jasper felt his unease and gave him a questioning look. "What?"
"Nothing in particular," Edward said, trying to seem glum. "He had wanted to see Emmett wrestle a bear."
"Oh." Jasper mentally kicked himself. He wasn't very good at this whole comforting thing when he was trying to do it correctly. "Sorry."
"Don't be ridiculous," Edward sighed. Then he looked up. "Shall we?"
"Only if you're ready," Jasper replied warily. He didn't want Edward snapping at his wife again.
"I'll apologize to her," Edward sighed again. That was one thing he needed to deal with. "I know I was in the wrong."
"Thank you." Now that he felt Edward was actually calm enough, Jasper stepped closer again so that they were a normal distance apart instead of glaring from across the clearing.
"I know you can read her thoughts. She feels as awful about it as you do."
"I know. I couldn't control myself earlier," Edward muttered. It was hardly an excuse. A century later, he could hardly blame his behavior on a temper tantrum or his inner vampire, but that was how it had been. He'd explain it to Alice and she would understand as well.
Jasper clapped a hand over his shoulder. He could feel the shame and regret, and he understood. If Alice didn't, he would explain it to her later. Edward was the opposite of a bad brother.
"None of us could. It'll be fine."
"Not for the kid," Edward said and sighed, once again. That bothered him. "Not for Matt. It seems worthless lingering over what's happened, but that was really not a way anyone deserved to go."
"I know," Jasper agreed, sighing. He'd seen and done some monstrous things in the past, but always to other monsters, never to any humans who'd stumbled into their way. "I am sorry."
"So am I," Edward nodded. Then he sighed for the last time and released his remaining pent up frustration on a tree nearby. It fell with a satisfying crack. "We're far more effective than any lumberyard.
Jasper grinned. Even frustrated, his brother had a sense of humor. "At least the tree can't feel it," he pointed out. "You can knock down as many as you want to before we go back. Alice will know where to find us."
"Such prejudice. Perhaps you've only to extend your empath abilities to those containing non-animal cells," Edward chuckled. "Yes. Still, we should make sure Emmett hasn't taken to destroying the entire wildlife here."
"Emmett is more prone to temper tantrums," Jasper chuckled back. "He destroys a small forest and then he's better. You're far more complicated."
"Although the destruction of trees helps," Edward pointed out before beckoning Jasper to follow him back. Yes. He was complicated. But then, so was this situation.
Nodding, Jasper stepped up beside Edward to walk back with him. He felt better too, to be honest. Walking back would take the final edge off, and hopefully no one would look too closely at the clearing they were leaving behind them.