Firefly fic-A Brief Affair
Title: A Brief Affair
Rating: PG 13
Author: liquorishflame
Spoilers: general for Firefly, but no specific spoilers
Summary: 'Is that an arm?...Is that blood?!'
A/N: Unbeated Firefly fic, prompted by fiandyfic. Enjoy the weirdness :)
She sighed as she dragged the heavy bag behind her through the alley grimy alley. The refuse container was ahead, only 1.234567 meters away. She blinked the sweat out of her eyes, breathing through her mouth to avoid the smell of the humid and hot planet (26 degrees Celsius, humidity of 84 percent).
'You were fun. I really liked you. Kaylee would have liked you.'
The bag wasn't moving. She frowned. Perhaps the gravity was stronger around here...
She turned to look. The bag was caught on a snag. She yanked, and stuck out her tongue as it ripped up the side, spilling Oatybar wrappers, moldy food, and lint onto the ground.
'I'm not stupid, I knew that. Simon would have liked you. But everything is in sixes and eights, unaccountable. Too slow, there's not enough left anymore.'
She had to do this quickly, had to get back to Serenity before anyone noticed she was...
Absent.
She kicked the bag, pouting. 'Can't even lick the bowl.'
The refuse container was now only .212199 meters away, but it had turned itself into a top hat. Most unkind.
'My strength is proportional to my brain capacity, why can't I pull this BAG!'
She sighed. 'Now it's all bloody.'
The stain oozing from the bag was getting bigger.
It was all...gooey. Like the time she tried to make cookies. It was making another stain in the alley, which had many stains.
'It was just time. Time to let the petals blow away.'
She heaved it over her shoulder.
'River?'
She dropped the bag and spun around, gasping.
'Simon.'
Simon frowned as he walked towards her. He had on his big brother face, the one that made her head hurt.
'What are you doing?'
She stared off into the night sky.
'Oooh, look colours.'
She snuck a glance at him. Clearly the older male authority remained skeptical, which you could tell from the appearance of his face.
'River...you're insane.'
'Bibble!' she said desperately.
'But you're not that insane.'
'I washed my hair with fudge!'
He was peering behind her. 'What is that?'
'That is what?'
'The bag that you're hiding behind you.'
'It's irrelevant, completely debriefed. Let's have cauliflower!'
He pushed by her, and the appearance of his face changed again. He was angry.
'River..is that an arm?...Is that blood?!'
He bent to pick it up.
'Don't.' She gave him the look she'd been practicing, the one she'd tried on Jayne that gave him "the rutting shivers". He turned back to her, and his face almost made her cry.
'You're my sister River. You're my sister. And you would never hurt me.'
She vigorously shook her cranium from side to side.
'You don't know me like you think you do.'
'I think I know you're trying to hide a body.'
She ducked her head, letting her hair dangle in front of her face.
'Weeping willows have no ears.'
'Whatever it is, whatever you've done, I'll help you.' He reached for the arm in the bag and....
'Oh..m-' He grimaced.
'O zhei shi suo you cuo wu he fei chang huai! What..the....is it?'
The arm was twitching and making broken sounds. She bit her lip, looking down at the dirty digits attached to her feet.
'It's my toy.'
'This...is a toy?'
'Kaylee said...w-when you're, um...' She gestured vaguely between her thighs,
He started to laugh embarrassedly, looking away.
'This is your, this is your vibrator?'
'Brothers should be illegal.' she said, blushing.
'It's...mei mei it's huge!'
'My sexual appetites are proportional to my brain capacity.'
'Uh...What's it leaking?'
She shrugged. 'Strawberry scented oil. Made it all...bloody. And wasn't good for insides.'
He inclined his head vigorously. 'It is very...gooey. Who's insides, yours or...'
She frowned furiously as she felt tears prickling her eyes. 'It's.'
It wasn't fair! She'd been so clever to sneak out here, to get rid of it by herself, and he was laughing at her. She sniffled and he hugged her with one arm, the other holding onto her toy.
'I broke it with the power of my vagina.'
He dropped the toy. 'Thank you for...sharing that. It was extremely unsettling, and I'm going to try to erase that from my memory.'
He kissed the top of her head, smiling gently.
'Why did you try to hide it from me?'
She gave him The Look, the one that said "You are so stupid, why do I bother talking to you?" She was very proud of The Look, she'd been practising it.
'I broke it..with the power of-'
He held up a hand. 'Stop. Stop now before I too, loose my mind.'
She grinned. 'With the power of my-'
'Ahh! Stop! Can't you, can't we just say er.. "womanly bits?", please? I'm your brother, remember?' He grinned, and she felt the corners of her mouth turn upwards too.
'Sorry. I broke it with the power of my..."womanly bits".'
'Actually, can we just say you dropped it? And were too embarrassed to tell me, or anyone, and had to drag it out here, in the middle of the night, to practically humping bury it?'
She paused, chagrined and surprised that he could read her mind.
'...It's so much more complex then that.'
'I'm sure it is mei mei. Now let us never speak of this again.'
'The night I killed my sex toy?'
'Yes, let us never speak of this again.' Giggling, they walked hand in hand back down the alley to their ship.
Rating: PG 13
Author: liquorishflame
Spoilers: general for Firefly, but no specific spoilers
Summary: 'Is that an arm?...Is that blood?!'
A/N: Unbeated Firefly fic, prompted by fiandyfic. Enjoy the weirdness :)
She sighed as she dragged the heavy bag behind her through the alley grimy alley. The refuse container was ahead, only 1.234567 meters away. She blinked the sweat out of her eyes, breathing through her mouth to avoid the smell of the humid and hot planet (26 degrees Celsius, humidity of 84 percent).
'You were fun. I really liked you. Kaylee would have liked you.'
The bag wasn't moving. She frowned. Perhaps the gravity was stronger around here...
She turned to look. The bag was caught on a snag. She yanked, and stuck out her tongue as it ripped up the side, spilling Oatybar wrappers, moldy food, and lint onto the ground.
'I'm not stupid, I knew that. Simon would have liked you. But everything is in sixes and eights, unaccountable. Too slow, there's not enough left anymore.'
She had to do this quickly, had to get back to Serenity before anyone noticed she was...
Absent.
She kicked the bag, pouting. 'Can't even lick the bowl.'
The refuse container was now only .212199 meters away, but it had turned itself into a top hat. Most unkind.
'My strength is proportional to my brain capacity, why can't I pull this BAG!'
She sighed. 'Now it's all bloody.'
The stain oozing from the bag was getting bigger.
It was all...gooey. Like the time she tried to make cookies. It was making another stain in the alley, which had many stains.
'It was just time. Time to let the petals blow away.'
She heaved it over her shoulder.
'River?'
She dropped the bag and spun around, gasping.
'Simon.'
Simon frowned as he walked towards her. He had on his big brother face, the one that made her head hurt.
'What are you doing?'
She stared off into the night sky.
'Oooh, look colours.'
She snuck a glance at him. Clearly the older male authority remained skeptical, which you could tell from the appearance of his face.
'River...you're insane.'
'Bibble!' she said desperately.
'But you're not that insane.'
'I washed my hair with fudge!'
He was peering behind her. 'What is that?'
'That is what?'
'The bag that you're hiding behind you.'
'It's irrelevant, completely debriefed. Let's have cauliflower!'
He pushed by her, and the appearance of his face changed again. He was angry.
'River..is that an arm?...Is that blood?!'
He bent to pick it up.
'Don't.' She gave him the look she'd been practicing, the one she'd tried on Jayne that gave him "the rutting shivers". He turned back to her, and his face almost made her cry.
'You're my sister River. You're my sister. And you would never hurt me.'
She vigorously shook her cranium from side to side.
'You don't know me like you think you do.'
'I think I know you're trying to hide a body.'
She ducked her head, letting her hair dangle in front of her face.
'Weeping willows have no ears.'
'Whatever it is, whatever you've done, I'll help you.' He reached for the arm in the bag and....
'Oh..m-' He grimaced.
'O zhei shi suo you cuo wu he fei chang huai! What..the....is it?'
The arm was twitching and making broken sounds. She bit her lip, looking down at the dirty digits attached to her feet.
'It's my toy.'
'This...is a toy?'
'Kaylee said...w-when you're, um...' She gestured vaguely between her thighs,
He started to laugh embarrassedly, looking away.
'This is your, this is your vibrator?'
'Brothers should be illegal.' she said, blushing.
'It's...mei mei it's huge!'
'My sexual appetites are proportional to my brain capacity.'
'Uh...What's it leaking?'
She shrugged. 'Strawberry scented oil. Made it all...bloody. And wasn't good for insides.'
He inclined his head vigorously. 'It is very...gooey. Who's insides, yours or...'
She frowned furiously as she felt tears prickling her eyes. 'It's.'
It wasn't fair! She'd been so clever to sneak out here, to get rid of it by herself, and he was laughing at her. She sniffled and he hugged her with one arm, the other holding onto her toy.
'I broke it with the power of my vagina.'
He dropped the toy. 'Thank you for...sharing that. It was extremely unsettling, and I'm going to try to erase that from my memory.'
He kissed the top of her head, smiling gently.
'Why did you try to hide it from me?'
She gave him The Look, the one that said "You are so stupid, why do I bother talking to you?" She was very proud of The Look, she'd been practising it.
'I broke it..with the power of-'
He held up a hand. 'Stop. Stop now before I too, loose my mind.'
She grinned. 'With the power of my-'
'Ahh! Stop! Can't you, can't we just say er.. "womanly bits?", please? I'm your brother, remember?' He grinned, and she felt the corners of her mouth turn upwards too.
'Sorry. I broke it with the power of my..."womanly bits".'
'Actually, can we just say you dropped it? And were too embarrassed to tell me, or anyone, and had to drag it out here, in the middle of the night, to practically humping bury it?'
She paused, chagrined and surprised that he could read her mind.
'...It's so much more complex then that.'
'I'm sure it is mei mei. Now let us never speak of this again.'
'The night I killed my sex toy?'
'Yes, let us never speak of this again.' Giggling, they walked hand in hand back down the alley to their ship.