Those Eyes
Title: Those Eyes
Pairing: Billy Boyd/Dominic Monaghan
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Billy muses. And then there's kissing.
Disclaimer: Never happened. At least, not to my knowledge.
Billy likes grey.
It isn't his favourite colour, but he does like it. He especially loves the sky right before a storm, when the sun sinks behind a mass of heavy clouds and illuminates them only so much that they are dark grey instead of black. He isn't sure why he likes it so much - maybe it's the ambiguity of it, the uncertainty of whether it will grow darker or lighter first.
Or maybe it's the fact that Dominic's eyes are that exact shade. Oh, his resume says they're blue, but Billy knows better. Dom's eyes are like the skies over Scotland: only blue once in a while. Most of the time, they are lovely, stormy grey.
Dom's eyes make Billy think of home: of cloudy skies and rain and everything that goes along with it. Let everyone else have their brilliant Elijah-blue New Zealand sky; Billy prefers the comfort that grey brings.
He's long ago given up pretending that that was the only reason he has found himself drowning in those eyes so often. That that is the only reason those eyes haunt his dreams by night and his thoughts by day. That is a part of it, yes, but not all.
Billy loves him; loves him with every fiber of his being. Loves the way his hair sticks up in every direction when he's just woken up; loves the fact that he listens to Billy when Billy is feeling particularly lonesome and just holds him, wordlessly reassuring him that he is, and always will be, there. Loves the way he can get so excited over the smallest thing, just like a child. Loves the way he smells, and the way his scent has a way of lingering long after he's moved away. Billy is thankful for that.
But more than anything, Billy loves his eyes. They're so warm and open and beautiful and Dominic. Dominic's eyes embody everything that Billy loves about him. His sweetness and his gentleness and the way he can make Billy go insane with just one look, without ever knowing. Dominic's eyes are Dominic personified, and Billy loves them.
***
Billy drops his head into his hands. The dark trailer is empty; the others have gone out drinking somewhere. They'd invited him, but he'd feigned sickness and declined.
Not that it's entirely untrue, either, he reasons. He is sick - homesick, and lovesick, and sick of always being so close to Dom and never being able to do anything about it. Sick of trying to figure out ways to touch him without Dominic catching on that the caresses were meant to be much more than friendly. Sick of the fact that he can't tell Dominic that when he touches him - and Dom is a touchy person - Billy feels like every nerve in his body is on fire. Sick of spending all his time with the man who makes him insane and being too scared to enjoy it fully.
Yes, he certainly is sick. Heartsick.
A few tears creep down from the corners of his eyes and run down onto his palms, but he doesn't bother to brush them away. It's so rare that he's alone; a chance to get all the emotion out will probably do him good. A small sob escapes his throat.
He doesn't realize that the door of the trailer has opened until the faint light from outside trickles in. Assuming it's Sean - no one else usually returns from a night out so early; not even Ian - he quickly wipes his eyes and looks up, an explanation for the tears already on his lips.
But it isn't Sean, it's Dominic, and the explanation dies away, only to be replaced by great heaving sobs. Most irritating. He thought he had finished with that.
He doesn't mean to cry in front of Dom, of course; but then, he hadn't meant for it to be Dom standing there in the door, silhouetted by the glow of moonlight beyond him.
He hadn't meant to fall in love with Dom in the first place.
But he had, and it is Dom standing there, and whether or not he means to, the tears continue to flow and he is powerless to stop them. He buries his head in his hands again and waits for Dom to leave.
But Dom doesn't. He shuts the door behind him, flips on the light, and crosses the trailer, sinking to his knees before the sobbing man.
"Billy?" Softly.
"Billy?" Again. A little more insistent this time.
"What?" Muffled.
Dom takes Billy's hands off of his forehead and places them gently in his own.
"What is it?" He asks, reaching one hand up to dry the tears coursing down Billy's cheeks.
Billy closes his eyes and waits a moment before answering. Fuck it, he thinks, fuck it. I can't take this any longer.
Taking a deep breath and squeezing his eyes even more tightly shut so that he won't have to see the look of horror that he's sure will cross Dominic's face when he's finished, he launches straight into it.
"I love you. I'm sure that you don't love me and I can handle that," (no you can't, his brain interjects), "but I can't keep being around you and loving you and not knowing how you feel and Dom, you're killing me." His breath catches in his throat. "I love you and you're killing me and I'm sorry."
After a few moments pass Billy has to open his eyes, has to make sure he's properly finished off any sort of friendship they've ever had.
But when he looks down at Dom, he finds that Dom doesn't look at all repulsed. His eyes are half-closed as if he's about to slip into a dream, and Billy's not sure what that means, but he takes it as a good thing.
And then Dom's eyes snap open and he lifts his head and his mouth is on Billy's and oh god, Billy thinks, it is a good thing.
But 'good' doesn't cover it - it's more like 'intense', and 'unbelievable', and 'the most mind-blowingly wonderful moment he has ever experienced in his entire life, with the promise for more', and Billy is lost, lost to the world, lost in the wonder and the glory that is Dominic.
And then the kiss stops, as suddenly as it had started. Dom stares up at him, unblinkingly, and whispers, "You stupid git."
Billy looks at him, confused, and he elaborates.
"I've been fucking mad about you for ages, and I've been hoping, praying that you'd notice and say something; that you'd realize that I'd do anything, go to any lengths, just to be around you, to touch you, and you never did, and now you're sitting here in the dark crying about me." He shakes head and repeats, "You stupid git," but this time Billy's not sure if Dom's talking to him or to himself.
Billy finds his voice, finally. "It's not dark." And he means it on a literal level, yes, but in so many other ways.
And as Dominic leans in to kiss him again, Billy's eyes lock onto those beautiful grey ones and he decides that Dominic's eyes don't just remind him of home, they are home, and Dominic is home; and he realizes that he is no longer homesick or lovesick or heartsick; he is home, and he is happy.
And as their lips meet again, Billy decides that grey might, in fact, actually be his favourite colour after all.
Pairing: Billy Boyd/Dominic Monaghan
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Billy muses. And then there's kissing.
Disclaimer: Never happened. At least, not to my knowledge.
Billy likes grey.
It isn't his favourite colour, but he does like it. He especially loves the sky right before a storm, when the sun sinks behind a mass of heavy clouds and illuminates them only so much that they are dark grey instead of black. He isn't sure why he likes it so much - maybe it's the ambiguity of it, the uncertainty of whether it will grow darker or lighter first.
Or maybe it's the fact that Dominic's eyes are that exact shade. Oh, his resume says they're blue, but Billy knows better. Dom's eyes are like the skies over Scotland: only blue once in a while. Most of the time, they are lovely, stormy grey.
Dom's eyes make Billy think of home: of cloudy skies and rain and everything that goes along with it. Let everyone else have their brilliant Elijah-blue New Zealand sky; Billy prefers the comfort that grey brings.
He's long ago given up pretending that that was the only reason he has found himself drowning in those eyes so often. That that is the only reason those eyes haunt his dreams by night and his thoughts by day. That is a part of it, yes, but not all.
Billy loves him; loves him with every fiber of his being. Loves the way his hair sticks up in every direction when he's just woken up; loves the fact that he listens to Billy when Billy is feeling particularly lonesome and just holds him, wordlessly reassuring him that he is, and always will be, there. Loves the way he can get so excited over the smallest thing, just like a child. Loves the way he smells, and the way his scent has a way of lingering long after he's moved away. Billy is thankful for that.
But more than anything, Billy loves his eyes. They're so warm and open and beautiful and Dominic. Dominic's eyes embody everything that Billy loves about him. His sweetness and his gentleness and the way he can make Billy go insane with just one look, without ever knowing. Dominic's eyes are Dominic personified, and Billy loves them.
***
Billy drops his head into his hands. The dark trailer is empty; the others have gone out drinking somewhere. They'd invited him, but he'd feigned sickness and declined.
Not that it's entirely untrue, either, he reasons. He is sick - homesick, and lovesick, and sick of always being so close to Dom and never being able to do anything about it. Sick of trying to figure out ways to touch him without Dominic catching on that the caresses were meant to be much more than friendly. Sick of the fact that he can't tell Dominic that when he touches him - and Dom is a touchy person - Billy feels like every nerve in his body is on fire. Sick of spending all his time with the man who makes him insane and being too scared to enjoy it fully.
Yes, he certainly is sick. Heartsick.
A few tears creep down from the corners of his eyes and run down onto his palms, but he doesn't bother to brush them away. It's so rare that he's alone; a chance to get all the emotion out will probably do him good. A small sob escapes his throat.
He doesn't realize that the door of the trailer has opened until the faint light from outside trickles in. Assuming it's Sean - no one else usually returns from a night out so early; not even Ian - he quickly wipes his eyes and looks up, an explanation for the tears already on his lips.
But it isn't Sean, it's Dominic, and the explanation dies away, only to be replaced by great heaving sobs. Most irritating. He thought he had finished with that.
He doesn't mean to cry in front of Dom, of course; but then, he hadn't meant for it to be Dom standing there in the door, silhouetted by the glow of moonlight beyond him.
He hadn't meant to fall in love with Dom in the first place.
But he had, and it is Dom standing there, and whether or not he means to, the tears continue to flow and he is powerless to stop them. He buries his head in his hands again and waits for Dom to leave.
But Dom doesn't. He shuts the door behind him, flips on the light, and crosses the trailer, sinking to his knees before the sobbing man.
"Billy?" Softly.
"Billy?" Again. A little more insistent this time.
"What?" Muffled.
Dom takes Billy's hands off of his forehead and places them gently in his own.
"What is it?" He asks, reaching one hand up to dry the tears coursing down Billy's cheeks.
Billy closes his eyes and waits a moment before answering. Fuck it, he thinks, fuck it. I can't take this any longer.
Taking a deep breath and squeezing his eyes even more tightly shut so that he won't have to see the look of horror that he's sure will cross Dominic's face when he's finished, he launches straight into it.
"I love you. I'm sure that you don't love me and I can handle that," (no you can't, his brain interjects), "but I can't keep being around you and loving you and not knowing how you feel and Dom, you're killing me." His breath catches in his throat. "I love you and you're killing me and I'm sorry."
After a few moments pass Billy has to open his eyes, has to make sure he's properly finished off any sort of friendship they've ever had.
But when he looks down at Dom, he finds that Dom doesn't look at all repulsed. His eyes are half-closed as if he's about to slip into a dream, and Billy's not sure what that means, but he takes it as a good thing.
And then Dom's eyes snap open and he lifts his head and his mouth is on Billy's and oh god, Billy thinks, it is a good thing.
But 'good' doesn't cover it - it's more like 'intense', and 'unbelievable', and 'the most mind-blowingly wonderful moment he has ever experienced in his entire life, with the promise for more', and Billy is lost, lost to the world, lost in the wonder and the glory that is Dominic.
And then the kiss stops, as suddenly as it had started. Dom stares up at him, unblinkingly, and whispers, "You stupid git."
Billy looks at him, confused, and he elaborates.
"I've been fucking mad about you for ages, and I've been hoping, praying that you'd notice and say something; that you'd realize that I'd do anything, go to any lengths, just to be around you, to touch you, and you never did, and now you're sitting here in the dark crying about me." He shakes head and repeats, "You stupid git," but this time Billy's not sure if Dom's talking to him or to himself.
Billy finds his voice, finally. "It's not dark." And he means it on a literal level, yes, but in so many other ways.
And as Dominic leans in to kiss him again, Billy's eyes lock onto those beautiful grey ones and he decides that Dominic's eyes don't just remind him of home, they are home, and Dominic is home; and he realizes that he is no longer homesick or lovesick or heartsick; he is home, and he is happy.
And as their lips meet again, Billy decides that grey might, in fact, actually be his favourite colour after all.