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[lisamj123]

I have decided to enter a creative writing contest. It is included in this post, and I 'd love if you read it and gave me some feedback before I send it in. Thanks.

The Funeral

I stood, in the pouring rain, waiting for it to be over. I was lucky enough to never have had to attend a funeral before, but my lack of experience

Comments

[suchafreakdncr7]

Lisa! I am so jealous! If I could write that well, I'd enter a contest too. It's amazing.

P.S. This is Katie Freck. :]

Good luck!

[anonymous]

i am so amazed. your writing is unbelievable. i cried. i really did. just my only advice for you, and take this seriously...never stop writing. i love your writing. i love reading it all! i am proud of you, and i think you found one of your nitches. [only thing is in the 1st sentence, poring = pouring*

[yumburntpopcorn]

This is fantastic! You are a great writer.

I have some constructive critisism. Feel free to take it or not. Except the one spelling error. You have to change that. They are in order, so just follow along as you read.

-"...the wooden coffin lid..."
-what color is the mother's tulip (bonus points if you look into color symbolism and stuff and apply that)
-chEAp
-"...he thought would/might "lighten...""
-"...wake began to laugh, while others reminisced..."
-"...somehow I believe he knew."
-their fault
-"...bedroom where they could find..."
-"...volume was so low..."
-"...he had no clue...that could offer...appreciated his being there..."
-"...stopped as night fell..."

Yeah. So feel free to do whatever and GREAT JOB!
-Kate J.

[yumburntpopcorn]

P.S. "...frantically began looking..." for the hairtie.

[anonymous]

dude!!! lisa!! this is absolutely amazing!! spectacular.:)

-shannon