Harry Potter Fic...
Author: Lisek16 (Lisek16@yahoo.com)
Date: July 23, 2005
Words: 1530
Ship: Harry/Other
Summary: Things never turn out like we hope and when they do, we realized we hoped for all the wrong things and grimace…
Author’s Note: This idea came to me Yesterday morning, where I envisioned Harry Potter has turned into Ben Affleck and we’ll you’ll see. It’s silly and presumptuous and don’t think for one minute I stopped loving Harry or his books. (Aka: Harry Potter and the Series of One Night Stands) I'm am sick, twisted and something is definately wrong with me... read at your own risk!
***
He is in an elevator going down from the top floor of a very important and tall building. The elevator stops at the 648th floor and a passenger enters. She is probably five years younger than he is, no doubt a summer intern for the department of Muggle relations. She’s wearing the trademark Muggle clothing, a black business suit tailored to her curvaceous figure. She can’t be more than seventeen though he doubts she’s even that old. She has long blonde hair fastened with a silver barrette. She politely smiles as she boards the elevator and asks, “Are you going to go down” to which he answers, “I most certainly hope so” to which she giggles perhaps at the double entendre or rather his familiarity brings out her flirtatious side. They ride down to the lobby together and he asks her how the Ministry of Magic has been treating her.
She tells him when she grows up she will never be able to push paper at the ministry, this summer experience has taught her that. He laughs and she arbitrarily asks him what he does, thought she knows and he knows that she does. He tells her he’s an Auror and he lectures at Hogwarts on occasion on defense against the dark arts tactics, thought what he omits is that he spoke at Hogwarts once five years ago and never again. She tells him she hopes to see him around and she excuses herself after all she’s expected home any minute. She turns around once more and says, “It was nice meeting you Mr. Potter”, but she can’t honestly leave it like that, especially not on such a formal note, “It was nice meeting you too… Miss… I’m sorry you never gave me your name.”
She smiles and says “Desdemona… Desi Dementia…it’s a silly name, really.”
“No it’s not” he lies, “Harry Potter is a silly name.” he teases.
“Harry Potter is not silly, it’s a wonderful name.” she retorts as he face flushes.
Harry smiles knowing she’d say this, they all say this. “You wouldn’t want to grab some butterbeer with me would you?”
She looks hesitant but answers, “my folks really expect me home; they worry when I’m late, but they’ll be so surprised that I rode an elevator with Harry Potter.”
Harry muttered under his breath, “that’s not all you’ll ride” to which Desi looks questionably at him, “Did you say something?”
“I was about to show you a little trinket I picked up from my glory days at Hogwarts, it’s a time-turner it lets you be two places at once, for instance if you went home for a bit I could rewind this little button and turn back time right to this moment and we could grab some butterbeer without your parents worrying.”
“Really?” she said, looking intrigued, “But why…” he put his finger to her lips, “Let’s save this conversation for later. Where do you live?”
After she gives him her address they agree to meet in her backyard in two hours and not tell her parents that she met the Harry Potter, the Boy who lived, the chosen one. She’d just go into her backyard for a moment to check on a sound and come back in without her parents noticing. After all where was the harm, he was Harry Potter and they were just drinking butterbeer.
***
Since Harry completed his time at Hogwarts he had been hard-pressed to find the type of carefree adventure the school had offered. After he-who-should-not-be-named died of…natural causes, not only had the Harry phenomenon died down but so had the excitement. Harry had become an auror despite the let down of his prophecy, but not everything in his life had turned out as planned.
Ron and Hermione lived in Wibtoft in adjacent houses, and Harry visited them quite a bit after graduation, but typically only saw them on rare occasions in Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley these days. (They sent owls on Christmas and his birthday and he reciprocated though it didn’t mean what it once did.) At which point Hermione told Harry about the latest textbook she had edited for Hogwarts classes and about the classes she was auditing for the Ministry’s Magical Education Association Division. Ron would ask Harry how life was treating him and then modestly mention how England’s Quidditch team was shaping up, even though Harry owned it, Ron had become a sports writer for the Daily Prophet and he followed the team even closer than Harry did. Harry despite great wealth, health and feigned happiness was not all that satisfied.
He hadn’t had a real relationship since Cho years ago when they had gotten back together in their seventh year, but it had ended badly when Lord You-know-who choked on a chicken bone while trying to intimidate Harry at graduation. Why great villains are greatly long-winded, Harry did not know, though Voldemort’s verbose oratorical bombasticism had led to him grabbing some of Harry’s dinner and not chewing properly and thus dying in the most boring and unexpected fashion. Unfortunately in that very moment, Harry went from a lucky boy with special gifts to a has-been hero who did not live up to the magical community’s expectations.
This had caused Harry to see a shrink, unfortunately the first doctor Harry visited was a Muggle who had attempted to commit Harry into an institution for the criminally insane, though proof of a crime had not been found he had confessed to attempting to kill Tom Riddle on many occasions, though Dr. Bluegarrets did not know Tom Riddle was a nefarious murder himself, let alone the dark lord, she had no other choice but to try to put Harry away. Harry of course had used magic to alter her memory and at which point he decided that muggles could pass as wizards as easily as wizards could pass as muggles and he learned to check his facts before assuming one’s identity.
After Cho, Harry began to see the equivalent of a wizard’s shrink, a bartender. For quite some time he confided in Tom, the bartender at the Leaky Cauldron until Tom passed away from old age, though it was rumored he simply moved away because he couldn’t take the stress of being a bartender any longer.
Meanwhile though Harry had gotten the job he always wanted, he was lonely and downtrodden. He owned a world famous Quidditch team, had graduated Hogwarts with honors but couldn’t connect with any women his age.
Cho had said something about his fear of commitment and his intimacy issues before she left him for Ron on graduation night, she told him “Ron never tried to save the world, Ron only wants to make me happy, he has his priorities in order Harry…” She and Ron have been married for several years, they have beautiful children and this angers Harry very much. If Harry owned the Daily Prophet he’d fire Ron, but though he could afford it he doesn’t bother, he doesn’t blame Ron for not trying to follow fellow students at Hogwarts or for minding his own business, perhaps if Harry wasn’t such a busy-body he would have ended up with a nice girl like Cho.
Hermione wouldn’t have him even if he asked politely, she was rumored to be colluding with the new minister of a magic, and Oliver Wood, former Gryffindor captain and now captain of the Puddlemore United. Harry never knew which of the rumors to believe, Hermione denied all of them but Harry knew though she liked her independence she wasn’t beneath associating herself with the best and the brightest.
Harry, on the other hand, had spent the last few years going from one meaningless relationship to another which provided him with an endless string of one night stands. All the young women in his company loved hearing about his bouts with Lord Voldemort which he exaggerated each time he told the stories. They listened and cooed as he went on about Quidditch, the Ministry and all his adventures at Hogwarts. He’d treat them to delicious meals and box seats to Quidditch matches, he’s wine and dine them and dump them before they could dump him.
He didn’t particularly like the way things turned out. He never used to be this way either, but after all the danger, the excitement and hype he had grown accustomed to being the center of attention and when that stopped prematurely he had been lost as to where to go next so he got the nice house and the good job and knew the right people but he never seemed to stop being the prophesized, larger than life Harry Potter with the big head and an egotistical heir, the worst part was he could hardly help it. He only wanted someone to love him, but since that seemed out of reach he looked for those who’d lust after him giving him instant gratification and adoration not life-time devotion or emotion. Harry knew this wasn’t healthy, to pick up teenage girls in elevators and seduce them into sleeping with him. He knew they’d never tell each other or the Daily Prophet, mostly because if they did they’d have to admit that Harry Potter didn’t live up the hype and that would make what they did with Harry tawdry, cheap and despicable.
Poor Harry Potter, he never saw this coming, which might be why he never continued divination at Hogwarts he was oblivious to the future and it’s ramifications.
The End
Date: July 23, 2005
Words: 1530
Ship: Harry/Other
Summary: Things never turn out like we hope and when they do, we realized we hoped for all the wrong things and grimace…
Author’s Note: This idea came to me Yesterday morning, where I envisioned Harry Potter has turned into Ben Affleck and we’ll you’ll see. It’s silly and presumptuous and don’t think for one minute I stopped loving Harry or his books. (Aka: Harry Potter and the Series of One Night Stands) I'm am sick, twisted and something is definately wrong with me... read at your own risk!
***
He is in an elevator going down from the top floor of a very important and tall building. The elevator stops at the 648th floor and a passenger enters. She is probably five years younger than he is, no doubt a summer intern for the department of Muggle relations. She’s wearing the trademark Muggle clothing, a black business suit tailored to her curvaceous figure. She can’t be more than seventeen though he doubts she’s even that old. She has long blonde hair fastened with a silver barrette. She politely smiles as she boards the elevator and asks, “Are you going to go down” to which he answers, “I most certainly hope so” to which she giggles perhaps at the double entendre or rather his familiarity brings out her flirtatious side. They ride down to the lobby together and he asks her how the Ministry of Magic has been treating her.
She tells him when she grows up she will never be able to push paper at the ministry, this summer experience has taught her that. He laughs and she arbitrarily asks him what he does, thought she knows and he knows that she does. He tells her he’s an Auror and he lectures at Hogwarts on occasion on defense against the dark arts tactics, thought what he omits is that he spoke at Hogwarts once five years ago and never again. She tells him she hopes to see him around and she excuses herself after all she’s expected home any minute. She turns around once more and says, “It was nice meeting you Mr. Potter”, but she can’t honestly leave it like that, especially not on such a formal note, “It was nice meeting you too… Miss… I’m sorry you never gave me your name.”
She smiles and says “Desdemona… Desi Dementia…it’s a silly name, really.”
“No it’s not” he lies, “Harry Potter is a silly name.” he teases.
“Harry Potter is not silly, it’s a wonderful name.” she retorts as he face flushes.
Harry smiles knowing she’d say this, they all say this. “You wouldn’t want to grab some butterbeer with me would you?”
She looks hesitant but answers, “my folks really expect me home; they worry when I’m late, but they’ll be so surprised that I rode an elevator with Harry Potter.”
Harry muttered under his breath, “that’s not all you’ll ride” to which Desi looks questionably at him, “Did you say something?”
“I was about to show you a little trinket I picked up from my glory days at Hogwarts, it’s a time-turner it lets you be two places at once, for instance if you went home for a bit I could rewind this little button and turn back time right to this moment and we could grab some butterbeer without your parents worrying.”
“Really?” she said, looking intrigued, “But why…” he put his finger to her lips, “Let’s save this conversation for later. Where do you live?”
After she gives him her address they agree to meet in her backyard in two hours and not tell her parents that she met the Harry Potter, the Boy who lived, the chosen one. She’d just go into her backyard for a moment to check on a sound and come back in without her parents noticing. After all where was the harm, he was Harry Potter and they were just drinking butterbeer.
***
Since Harry completed his time at Hogwarts he had been hard-pressed to find the type of carefree adventure the school had offered. After he-who-should-not-be-named died of…natural causes, not only had the Harry phenomenon died down but so had the excitement. Harry had become an auror despite the let down of his prophecy, but not everything in his life had turned out as planned.
Ron and Hermione lived in Wibtoft in adjacent houses, and Harry visited them quite a bit after graduation, but typically only saw them on rare occasions in Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley these days. (They sent owls on Christmas and his birthday and he reciprocated though it didn’t mean what it once did.) At which point Hermione told Harry about the latest textbook she had edited for Hogwarts classes and about the classes she was auditing for the Ministry’s Magical Education Association Division. Ron would ask Harry how life was treating him and then modestly mention how England’s Quidditch team was shaping up, even though Harry owned it, Ron had become a sports writer for the Daily Prophet and he followed the team even closer than Harry did. Harry despite great wealth, health and feigned happiness was not all that satisfied.
He hadn’t had a real relationship since Cho years ago when they had gotten back together in their seventh year, but it had ended badly when Lord You-know-who choked on a chicken bone while trying to intimidate Harry at graduation. Why great villains are greatly long-winded, Harry did not know, though Voldemort’s verbose oratorical bombasticism had led to him grabbing some of Harry’s dinner and not chewing properly and thus dying in the most boring and unexpected fashion. Unfortunately in that very moment, Harry went from a lucky boy with special gifts to a has-been hero who did not live up to the magical community’s expectations.
This had caused Harry to see a shrink, unfortunately the first doctor Harry visited was a Muggle who had attempted to commit Harry into an institution for the criminally insane, though proof of a crime had not been found he had confessed to attempting to kill Tom Riddle on many occasions, though Dr. Bluegarrets did not know Tom Riddle was a nefarious murder himself, let alone the dark lord, she had no other choice but to try to put Harry away. Harry of course had used magic to alter her memory and at which point he decided that muggles could pass as wizards as easily as wizards could pass as muggles and he learned to check his facts before assuming one’s identity.
After Cho, Harry began to see the equivalent of a wizard’s shrink, a bartender. For quite some time he confided in Tom, the bartender at the Leaky Cauldron until Tom passed away from old age, though it was rumored he simply moved away because he couldn’t take the stress of being a bartender any longer.
Meanwhile though Harry had gotten the job he always wanted, he was lonely and downtrodden. He owned a world famous Quidditch team, had graduated Hogwarts with honors but couldn’t connect with any women his age.
Cho had said something about his fear of commitment and his intimacy issues before she left him for Ron on graduation night, she told him “Ron never tried to save the world, Ron only wants to make me happy, he has his priorities in order Harry…” She and Ron have been married for several years, they have beautiful children and this angers Harry very much. If Harry owned the Daily Prophet he’d fire Ron, but though he could afford it he doesn’t bother, he doesn’t blame Ron for not trying to follow fellow students at Hogwarts or for minding his own business, perhaps if Harry wasn’t such a busy-body he would have ended up with a nice girl like Cho.
Hermione wouldn’t have him even if he asked politely, she was rumored to be colluding with the new minister of a magic, and Oliver Wood, former Gryffindor captain and now captain of the Puddlemore United. Harry never knew which of the rumors to believe, Hermione denied all of them but Harry knew though she liked her independence she wasn’t beneath associating herself with the best and the brightest.
Harry, on the other hand, had spent the last few years going from one meaningless relationship to another which provided him with an endless string of one night stands. All the young women in his company loved hearing about his bouts with Lord Voldemort which he exaggerated each time he told the stories. They listened and cooed as he went on about Quidditch, the Ministry and all his adventures at Hogwarts. He’d treat them to delicious meals and box seats to Quidditch matches, he’s wine and dine them and dump them before they could dump him.
He didn’t particularly like the way things turned out. He never used to be this way either, but after all the danger, the excitement and hype he had grown accustomed to being the center of attention and when that stopped prematurely he had been lost as to where to go next so he got the nice house and the good job and knew the right people but he never seemed to stop being the prophesized, larger than life Harry Potter with the big head and an egotistical heir, the worst part was he could hardly help it. He only wanted someone to love him, but since that seemed out of reach he looked for those who’d lust after him giving him instant gratification and adoration not life-time devotion or emotion. Harry knew this wasn’t healthy, to pick up teenage girls in elevators and seduce them into sleeping with him. He knew they’d never tell each other or the Daily Prophet, mostly because if they did they’d have to admit that Harry Potter didn’t live up the hype and that would make what they did with Harry tawdry, cheap and despicable.
Poor Harry Potter, he never saw this coming, which might be why he never continued divination at Hogwarts he was oblivious to the future and it’s ramifications.
The End