They're not divorced, but this is how it feels--like I'm caught and torn between two parents pulling me apart, each one tugging in an opposite direction as they bicker like children from either side. They both love me, I know, but lately I'm not sure if it works the other way around. I think that each secretly wants me to pick a favorite. We sit ( Read more... )

when it rains i feel inspired.

i hate goodbyes.
i feel awful.

why the fuck aren't i good enough to be his girlfriend?
i'm so tired of being convenient. and of people going away.

am i really this undeserving?

i don't really care anymore. in a maybe good way.

...and two hours later, the good mood is ruined. why does my mom feel the need to constantly remind me that i'm sick at every possible opportunity? i am tired of being treated like i'm incapable of anything normal, even if maybe sometimes i am.

the media. it's all the media's fault now.

hah. i wish it were that simple.

i got mad at her for saying ( Read more... )

this morning i woke up in a better mood, corrected caitlin's french paper which i forgot about yesterday because i am a horrible friend, talked to jon from scotland which was unexpected, and went to therapy and talked about lots of things i need to work on and am getting better at, and then finally i brought up the whole jeff thing, which felt good ( Read more... )

i'm not doing well and i don't think anybody can save me.

je ne suis pas d'accord.

Confession: these make me happy.


( Read more... )

i know i'm not supposed to care, but i do.

i know it wasn't supposed to change, but it did.

i know i should be happy, but i'm not. but i am.

i hate packing. i miss you.

i don't know what's happening to my body anymore. i don't like this.

i feel sick and i don't know what's wrong.