dear self,

your life is not bad. so stop fucking it up.

intelligently,

self

( Read more... )

being normal is so hard. i don't think i realized how uncomfortable (/painful) it would be to get better. usually it makes me feel good to do well, but today it's just dragging me down with the constant thinking and constant pain i just have to accept until it goes away. it's exhausting.

fingers crossed for everything checking out okay. second ( Read more... )

no title yet

So often do we split and draw

The world in black and white,

Place good and bad in opposition,

Seek out simple definition,

And live so that each plight

Does not outweigh the inbetween.

While urgently we strive to part

One shade from another

Through foolish words and wanting

And a false sense of need,

We forget that there is ( Read more... )

okay it is possible i'm doing too many drugs now.

however, i am having fun.

monday on is going to suck.

my mom read my journal. now i don't know what she knows, as if she didn't already know enough.

fuck. i need to go shower and then run away now.

things are officially never going to be the same.

Too often do I forget the deep happiness that manifests itself beyond the interior, beyond the enclosed self contained soul. Laughter is the purest sensation I know, perhaps the truest behavior there is. It is so liberation when it's honest; the laughing soul; the open heart; the tightly rooted contractions of a stomach full with complacency. I ( Read more... )

i talked to katie tonight....one down, everyone else to go.

i'm afraid and i don't know how to go about some things, but i guess i should give myself some time first anyway. at least i'm finally doing something, and i can't say i have in over two years. it's been a really long time....i guess i should feel relieved. so why don't i feel as much ( Read more... )

i did it i did it i did it i did it i did it i did it i did it

that was

the hardest thing

i may ever have to do.

and now i have to keep my promise.

things are going to be okay, eventually.

and i truly believe that.

to tell you the truth i've said it before

tomorrow i start in a new direction.

i might do something drastic.

shit, i'm scared.