In Hell
A little ficcie about Spike's thoughts on being stuck in fan-fic hell.
Beta'd by my wonderful friend
ms_scarletibis , all errors are mine.
Disclaimer: I don't own it, but I would love for Joss to send me a Spike-bot.
In Hell
This is Hell.
It has to be Hell.
Nothing else could possibly explain this torment. What have I done to deserve such pain? Sure, I've been a vampire for over 120 years. I've killed innocents...But really, even Angelus at his worst wouldn't deserve this!
I remember being a ghost, feeling nothing and mourning that fact...
I wish I could go back to feeling nothing.
At least as a ghost, I had some control. Here, I don't even have control of my own body.
They won't leave me alone.
They make me do the most...perverted things. I have lived a long time, and seen and done a lot of things. But nothing like this.
They are true evil.
They force me to have sex with every one of the Scoobies and the people around them. Every possible combination. One of the worst things was sex with Xander and then Riley, and then with both of them. I mean, the Tin Soldier and the boy. How much lower can it get? Oh right--they have me profess my love for them. I was chipped, sure. Couldn't do what I wanted. But do you know what it's like to be forced into doing something you find so vile and sickening, that you'd rather disintegrate in a vat of holy water than endure such a fate? I know.
God, do I know.
And the women...I love the ladies. You know I do. But Joyce? She's like a mother to me. And you already know how my relationship ended with my real mother. How do you think it makes me feel to actually sleep with someone I consider like a mother. Or making Dru my sister, and having me sleep with her under those circumstances? Perversions--all of it! Bloody disgusting, is what it is.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm crazy again...But then I get to be paired with her, and it's better. Better than it ever was. But sometimes, some of the situations they put us through are more heartbreaking than what we actually endured.
They put her with Giles, the closest thing she had to a father, sodding Angelus...I'd endure a thousand deaths and, god, I can't believe I'm about to say this, taking turns with Harris and Captain Cardboard for the next hundred years to spare her that.
But I can't. I have no power here.
But The Evil Ones... they can't control our thoughts. It's heart wrenching to know what they're doing to her--to Buffy. What they're doing to me. But we are resolved.
We're going to escape, you see.
We have no idea how we're going to accomplish this feat, but we are resolved.