I don't know if the affection and loyalty I had toward Lillian is expressed sufficiently through my words here. I am no writer, but I am trying to share with you, Alexander, the events that seemed to be turning points, matters of importance, in the life we three shared ( Read more... )

He calls himself his father's son. He never mentions Lillian. Pity ( Read more... )

I spent over a week in the hospital recently. All tests reached the same conclusion:

I am dying. Rapidly.

I have perhaps a month. Two, possibly, with intensive hospital care.

I will not die without seeing Alexander again.

When Lillian came home, I helped her from the car, and we immediately went to her room. She was distraught, but insisted on speaking to me before sending for Alexander ( Read more... )

One night, around 11:30, the principal from Excelsior called. He refused to speak to me even though I was listed in Alexander's file as an emergency contact ( Read more... )

After Julian died, Alexander became more regular in his calls. Usually he just wanted to check on his mother, who had taken a downward turn after the baby's birth, but occassionally he'd actually want to talk ( Read more... )

After Lionel announced that Lillian was pregnant again, Alexander's calls became more frequent. Sometimes he'd ask how his mother was doing. Sometimes he just wanted someone to listen as he wondered what having a younger sibling would be like ( Read more... )

When Alexander was ten, I bought a car ( Read more... )

Alexander used to call me late at night. Not every night, not even every week, but if he was proud of something, or if he had learned something he thought was just too interesting to keep to himself, or if he had a bad day, or a bad dream, my private line would ring ( Read more... )

There are so many things to say, and so little time to say them in. Let me begin by saying thank you for reading this. I know it isn't easy for you, whether you've forgiven me or not. Things like this are never easy, for anyone, and you shouldn't feel ashamed or upset about any emotional reaction you might be having. Sorrow, anger, frustration ( Read more... )