From the mouth of Bini....or rather a letter from Bini.
Bini gave me this letter not to long ago and said he wanted it on LJ so here it is. I have not taken anything out, added anything new or changed this letter at all. I'm going to LJ cut it because it is so long, read if you want, comment if you want.
This is only a portion I'll finish the rest later.
Let's see! I'ts been almost 2 days since I left Vegas and most importantly leaving the girl I love behind. I t hurts me so much, I feel like I just wanna cut myself and feel the pain that Melissa feels when her worl comes tumbling down.
I have no idea where to begin. How and what made us the way we are today! I just have to write this letter because I have no way to express my feelings and the pain I have been feeling since the day I messed up with the girl I love and will hopefully marry one day. I just loe her so much. I do, I really do.
First things first!! Dear God, I don't know why I am the way I am today, the way how love can hit you so quickly. Like and unkown car accident that just happends in an instant, taht's how mea nd Melissa wasor how me and Melissa are. It's kinda crazy but i'm toing to tell you, God, about how everything started.
First of all I met Melissa at our last job at teh Hacienda Hotel and CAsino, I was registering and she comes walking in. In which I saw her for the frist time, what I thought of first you just you trypical white girl, nothing new. The nesxt I was asked to train her for her job in which I did, it was crazy coz I first just wanted to ber friend and that's it. After a while we started to talk more, telling her that I had another girlfriend. In which I was just implying to her that I was taken and only wanted to be friends.
After a while of getting to know her I simply made a joke saying come over to my apartment and she simply answered and said sure but how am I going to get there. And I though cool it might be more tahnd friends or she wants to be just friends. Then I aked for her number thinking nothing of it, and losing the number quickly not aring. A few days later she asks for mine and taht sam day she calls and me not knowoing the number and finally getting the number from one of our friends calling her, and taking for hours I was learning to trust giras again.
For my last girlfriend Kimberly wasn't so nice, our friendship became more thatn friends, turning into a relationship. Then hitting me int eh head this girl is no Kimberly, she's the real deal. Me looking for the easy way out as in seeing is she cared or not to test her next theing knowing she wouldn't do it, that is not care for me.
After a few months I told her I love her, but her not having an answer her not trusting me yet made our friendship/relationship become undecided. Then having a fight about it made her realize taht we do have something. Although we had nothing in common we connected like crazy, and after that she loved me and our love for each other became even greater than ever. We kept it a secret until it unfolded to everybody.
After that I didn't care who knew, yea a lot of people didn't like the fact that we were together but you what I loved her....so they can kiss my ass. After Melissa quitting the job and me quitting a few months later we decided to move in with each other. With very little money, no credti and just risking it. I was the most happiest person in teh world, we had the relationship of a fairy tale. But in the real world we started out broke and poor.
Then later she got a job and with the help of my sister, then me later getting a job we started getting the apartmetn the way we wanted. We loved each other so much...I love he so much I wanted her to be the one to own my virginity. Which was one of teh most special nights I had in my life.
Our relationship together blows me and Kimberly's realationship out of teh water. I helped her get out of Wayne's and she helped me get out of Jason's. She told me secrets that were beyond this world. And I later on in our relationship told her mine. Secrets that I thought I would take to the grave. We sacrificed a lot for each other, to better our relationship I gave up people who were like family, and she gave up things for me.
You see, God with my pride and my stubborness I would take advantage of everything and not care. Here's and example: (God my relationship with melissa) yea we fought and argued like a couple, but see, God, I would put her down like a child. Everytime we argues I always won, even whit it's my fault. Everytime we argued big I always threatened that I would leave, and I did sometimes. And she was the one who wucked up her pride and stubborness and came after me. She did it so many times, way more than I ever did chasing after her. I was and still am so stupid for doing that.