100 Kick-Ass Female Characters: #58
58. Vanessa Loring, as seen in the film Juno, portrayed by Jennifer Garner
Infertility is not a problem anyone in my family has really struggled with; in fact, if anything, we are too fertile (as evidenced by my cousin who had 3 babies in 11 months.) There are gaggles of us, and fertility issues have never really come into play and, if they did, it was easily fixable. It wasn't until a close friend of mine began to try to have a second baby and I saw how hard they are struggling that I really began to see how draining, heartbreaking, and just plain frustrating it is. My perfectly reasonable friend suddenly became a hormonal mess, jacked up on fertility drugs and depression, something which only got worse after they managed to conceive only to miscarry. It was the first time I really saw conceiving as a job, and, while I always knew it had to be hard on infertile couples, it was the first time I saw it up close.
Vanessa Loring has the difficult job in Juno. She is the straight man, the uncool one, the prim and proper ice queen who keeps Juno at a distance and looks at her with some judgment in her eyes. But Vanessa desperately wants a child, and, even as she seems to hold everyone else at arm's length, she obviously loves and is excited to parent Juno's son. Given the lack of control Vanessa has in the one aspect of her life she most desperately wants it, it isn't odd to see Vanessa be a bit of a Type-A control freak; her precision in fixing up the nursery demonstrates that, since she cannot do anything for the baby until it is born, she wants to prepare in every way she can on her end. The scene at the mall where Vanessa runs into Juno and lays her hands on her belly is especially poignant; all Vanessa has ever wanted to do is be pregnant, and, while she can succeed in every other aspect of her life, at this she will always fail. When Mark becomes the creeper with Juno and declares he wants a divorce and isn't ready for fatherhood, there is genuine panic in Vanessa at the idea she will once again be denied the chance to be a parent. And when we see Vanessa at the end of the film cradling her son in the nursery she took such care to prepare, we see her truly at peace for the first time.
What makes Vanessa such an extraordinary character is that she is unafraid to admit that she needs to have a child in order to feel complete. From Juno's POV, Vanessa is professionally successful, has a beautiful house, and a cool husband; a baby seems superfluous when you have what a teenager deems to be necessary. But Vanessa is unapologetic in her desire to have a child, and she's honest about the fact that her life feels incomplete without one. There's a real stigma for women to admit that, to be seen as sacrificing individuality to be a mother; it is strange how women who claim to be feminists can lash out at women who "cannot find satisfaction" without having a child. But raising healthy children is the hardest job a person can do, and, whether people like to admit it or not, women are hardwired to parent; granted, some do a terrible job of it and some have no desire to do it, but it's biological. For Vanessa, who spent her whole life wanting to be a mother only to find out her body has failed her, adopting Juno's son is the only way she can be a parent, and it brings an incredible amount of fear and even desperation with it; it isn't that she can't be happy without a child but rather the absence of a child will be a constant reminder of the life she wanted that she was unable to have. Vanessa ends up becoming a single-parent - definitely the hardest job there is - because she is so committed to becoming a mother.
And I think mothers of all kinds need to be recognized for just how kick-ass they actually are.
Infertility is not a problem anyone in my family has really struggled with; in fact, if anything, we are too fertile (as evidenced by my cousin who had 3 babies in 11 months.) There are gaggles of us, and fertility issues have never really come into play and, if they did, it was easily fixable. It wasn't until a close friend of mine began to try to have a second baby and I saw how hard they are struggling that I really began to see how draining, heartbreaking, and just plain frustrating it is. My perfectly reasonable friend suddenly became a hormonal mess, jacked up on fertility drugs and depression, something which only got worse after they managed to conceive only to miscarry. It was the first time I really saw conceiving as a job, and, while I always knew it had to be hard on infertile couples, it was the first time I saw it up close.
Vanessa Loring has the difficult job in Juno. She is the straight man, the uncool one, the prim and proper ice queen who keeps Juno at a distance and looks at her with some judgment in her eyes. But Vanessa desperately wants a child, and, even as she seems to hold everyone else at arm's length, she obviously loves and is excited to parent Juno's son. Given the lack of control Vanessa has in the one aspect of her life she most desperately wants it, it isn't odd to see Vanessa be a bit of a Type-A control freak; her precision in fixing up the nursery demonstrates that, since she cannot do anything for the baby until it is born, she wants to prepare in every way she can on her end. The scene at the mall where Vanessa runs into Juno and lays her hands on her belly is especially poignant; all Vanessa has ever wanted to do is be pregnant, and, while she can succeed in every other aspect of her life, at this she will always fail. When Mark becomes the creeper with Juno and declares he wants a divorce and isn't ready for fatherhood, there is genuine panic in Vanessa at the idea she will once again be denied the chance to be a parent. And when we see Vanessa at the end of the film cradling her son in the nursery she took such care to prepare, we see her truly at peace for the first time.
What makes Vanessa such an extraordinary character is that she is unafraid to admit that she needs to have a child in order to feel complete. From Juno's POV, Vanessa is professionally successful, has a beautiful house, and a cool husband; a baby seems superfluous when you have what a teenager deems to be necessary. But Vanessa is unapologetic in her desire to have a child, and she's honest about the fact that her life feels incomplete without one. There's a real stigma for women to admit that, to be seen as sacrificing individuality to be a mother; it is strange how women who claim to be feminists can lash out at women who "cannot find satisfaction" without having a child. But raising healthy children is the hardest job a person can do, and, whether people like to admit it or not, women are hardwired to parent; granted, some do a terrible job of it and some have no desire to do it, but it's biological. For Vanessa, who spent her whole life wanting to be a mother only to find out her body has failed her, adopting Juno's son is the only way she can be a parent, and it brings an incredible amount of fear and even desperation with it; it isn't that she can't be happy without a child but rather the absence of a child will be a constant reminder of the life she wanted that she was unable to have. Vanessa ends up becoming a single-parent - definitely the hardest job there is - because she is so committed to becoming a mother.
And I think mothers of all kinds need to be recognized for just how kick-ass they actually are.