580 word sentence

[michygeary]

I was recently challeneged to write a sentence that was over 500 words, but it had to be grammatically correct. I rose to the occasion and produced this little bit. I figured this would give me the chance to learn more about the language I love. Can anyone help me confirm that it is or is not grammatically sound? And if not, how do I fix it? I feel

Comments

[deviousgeke]

I wouldn't feel bad for not knowing, Michy. Sentences of this length tend to lose their meaning - and the reader - along the way. I was exposed to a lot of page-long sentences in college myself (nonfiction works by Milton, oy - what was I thinking?).

Anyway, I think the sentence is mostly sound - I can't be more positive than that, because I couldn't track all the pronouns and got a little twisted about 75% of the way through. Since you overshot the goal of 500 words, perhaps some judicious pruning would help there. But I think you completed the challenge...

[michygeary]

Milton is exactly who I thought of first when this challenge was first presented to me! At first I wondered if it was possible and then I thought -- "Oh, Paradise Lost. Of course it's possible." Then again, I have the humility to recognize that the average person, myself included, may not be capable of accomplishing something just because Milton was able to, LOL.

Thanks for giving it a shot -- I do know how convoluted the whole story is, but for the most part there are only two main characters, so I was liberal with the pronouns. I will rethink that, though. And I agree, I should prune the hell out of it for the sake of clarity. Thanks again. :D

[deviousgeke]

I took a class just on Milton, which meant we read all his political tracts as well as his other poems and such... You want to see someone drag out a sentence for forever and a day, check out those. The man loved his semi-colons. Hahaha.

Not a problem! I second Sara's comment below - this was an interesting challenge. Is this for a writing class? Or a extracurricular writing thing?

[michygeary]

Yes, it's for my creative writing class but it wasn't an assignment -- she just suggested it as extra credit. I don't need the EC, but I thought it was a really interesting challenge and I wanted to do it. :)

[princesslo]

I don't have any grammar advice to offer, as a sentence that long is wayy too much for me to handle, but I wanted to say what a funny challenge that is. Go you for completing it!

[michygeary]

Thanks. :D It was fun to give it a shot!