My dearest husband, I shall love you forever. Even when you sneak into my room at night to smother me for believing I cheated on you (when that was not the least bit true), I shall defy all medical logic to call out my love for you. That is how much I love you ( Read more... )

Valentine, there's something I have to tell you... I'm really a girl! Hope this doesn't change anything between us because I really truly love you, even when I was a boy!

---

That awkward moment when you realize the one you love is a different gender... it's okay, it happens to everyone! Right?

Dearest Valentine, I believe actions speak louder than words, don't you? So you need not say a thing this Valentine's Day because you say it best when you say nothing at all.

---

My friends were begging me to write a Titus Valentine... I feel a little dirty for having done so. The things I do for my friends!

Dearest Mother, you have the best and most loving children ever. Couldn't you just eat them all up?! Oops...

---

And quite delicious too!

Dear sweet Valentine, I love you and am thinking of you but I must fake my own insanity to avenge my father's death. Hope you don't get the wrong idea, go crazy, and commit suicide!

---

This one was part of my thesis so I know all there is to know about Ophelia's madness. And yes, it was totally Hamlet's fault.

Be my Valentine. No? Okay, then let me dab this flower nectar on your eyes while you sleep. Now you have have no choice in the matter. You'll be my Valentine FOREVER.

---

Seriously! The play ends with poor Demetrius still under the spell and in love with Helena. How is that supposed to be romantic?!

I'm sending you this Valentine's Day card even though it won't reach you before you hear I've faked my death so we can be together forever... Happy Valentine's Day! At least we have Heaven ( Read more... )