Let It Go
kid!kyumin,2551 words
G, fluff/angst(?)
Kyuhyun loves balloons too much.
Cho Kyuhyun's father passes away when he is just 10-- and even though she knew it was wrong of her to do so, his mother keeps the news away from her precious son; he had been extremely close to his father-- the news would have broken him. She had always been in awe of how easily both of them clicked, and even though she got jealous sometimes, she didn't mind being the third wheel around them-- she was happy to be part of such a wonderful family that got along with one another so well.
So, in order to cover up for his father's sudden disappearance, she fabricated a ridiculous story-- a story so ridiculous that Kyuhyun would grow up and laugh at how gullible and naive he had been to actually have believed her; it was honestly crazy, to put it simply. She wondered if she did it because she herself couldn't come to terms with her husband's abrupt passing-- she suspected that she lied to her son because it gave her a little bit of hope, too.
She had told him that his father had to leave home because he needed to make a trip around the world, and wouldn't be back for a long time ("Why did he leave without saying goodbye?" Kyuhyun had wailed, and she had been quick enough to come up with another lie: "Well, because he had to travel in a hot air balloon, darling! You know how unpredictable balloons can be... His balloon was especially uncontrollable, and it was always trying to escape-- so he had to leave with it, lest he lost it... I'm sure he's very sorry, dear") because, well, it was a trip around the world. Kyuhyun bought every single word of the story; perhaps because he was afraid to think otherwise, and spent most of his time thinking about how fun it would have been if he had gone with his father-- just both of them together, drifting through the clouds.
***
Kyuhyun didn't stop waiting for his father to return home in his hot air balloon, even after 2 years had passed and he was now 12-- he had even begun a balloon fetish: he loved getting his hands on a helium balloon whenever he could, he loved tying it onto his wrist and watching it float along beside him, and he especially loved hoping that one of his balloons would be as mischievous as his father's had been, and lift him high up into the sky-- where he would find his father.
The boys in his school all thought him weird, and he didn't blame them-- he was mature enough to know that he was an oddity in his boring old school, and he knew that no one would be crazy enough to befriend a kid who had helium balloons for pets.
And then... Lee Sungmin came along.
***
Kyuhyun had prepared himself to be friendless for the rest of his school life, but everything changed when a boy he knew as Sungmin approached him and his balloon during recess one day.
"That's a very pretty balloon you have there-- May I hold it?" Sungmin asks him sweetly, flashing him a brilliantly bright smile.
As Kyuhyun hands over his bright pink balloon to the gleeful boy, he decides that he definitely likes this Sungmin.
***
Sungmin and Kyuhyun grow to be close friends in an amazingly short period of time-- they are talking like best friends by the end of the day Sungmin asks for his balloon, and by the end of one week both of them have become inseparable: they made an odd pair-- with Sungmin's love for all things pink and Kyuhyun's attraction to balloons... but they understood each other, and neither would want the other to be any different; both of them appreciated the other for accepting the crazy traits they both had that no one had once thought to be normal before.
As close as the pair had grown to be, Kyuhyun still didn't dare to open up to Sungmin about his father, who, he assumed, was still lost and stranded up somewhere in the clouds.
Perhaps it was because he was already 12, and had begun to see the absurdity of his mother's story-- he was scared that Sungmin would laugh at him and burst his bubble that was already dangerously close to popping.
But as Kyuhyun watches Sungmin hand over a new balloon to him, he promises himself that he will tell Sungmin his secret one day-- it was the least he could do for someone who accepted him for who he was without questions.
***
It had been a year since Kyuhyun had met Sungmin, and as they are chasing bubbles in Sungmin's backyard one day, Kyuhyun decides that he needs to tell someone about his father soon, before his worry eats him up bit by bit until he loses himself.
It had been 3 long years since his father had left for his voyage around the world-- surely he should have been back by now? He had been wondering why his father hadn't just simply taken a plane, or a ship, or something that was much more reliable than a huge balloon. He knew that it was so hard to control a balloon-- what if his father had just kept floating upwards, and couldn't find a way back down? Kyuhyun worried about his father daily-- 3 years was too long a time for someone to be stuck up in the air, and Kyuhyun knew this.
He had tried asking his mother if she had heard anything at all from his father, but every time he brought it up she couldn't bring herself to look her son in the eye-- he assumes that it must be too painful for his mother to think of, which was why she could never talk about it, but the truth was that she couldn't bring herself to lie to him anymore, and it was guilt that stopped her from looking her son in the eye every time he brought her dead husband up. She wished she knew how she could get around to telling him the truth, but it was hard-- and she knew it just got harder the longer she let him live this lie, but she honestly didn't know how to break it to him that his father was actually dead.
Unknown to her, however, Kyuhyun had begun to lost hope. He wasn’t as naïve as she thought him to be anymore. He had begun to think about all the life threatening situations that his father could have faced-- what if lightning had gotten to his balloon? What if man eating vultures had made him their dinner? What if the sun had burnt him alive? What if, what if, what if-- all those what ifs revolved around his head and he was genuinely afraid-- and who else better to turn to with his problem than his best friend, who had always been there for him?
"Minnie," Kyuhyun began nervously, poking at a bubble with his finger, watching it burst into a million colours before fading into the air. "I'm scared."
Sungmin laughed, running across his yard, through all the bubbles that was surrounding both of them, and hugged his best friend around his waist.
"What of, Kyu?" Sungmin had said teasingly. "They're just bubbles!"
Kyuhyun allowed himself a little chuckle, but sighed and sat himself down onto the soft green (and wet) grass of Sungmin's yard.
"I'm scared my father's not going to come back."
Sungmin must have processed Kyuhyun's expression, because after that he sat down next to Kyuhyun, and held his hand as he told him, "I'm listening."
***
Sungmin remained quiet after Kyuhyun had spilled all of his worries out to him-he didn’t know how he should react to everything Kyuhyun had just told him; he knew that his best friend hadn’t been trying to be funny while telling him about his father in a hot air balloon, and Sungmin feels more than a little sad for Kyuhyun because he knows that his mother hasn’t exactly been very truthful with her son. Sungmin may have been young at that time, but he knew how to tell fantasy and reality apart.
Sungmin understood now why Kyuhyun had his fetish for balloons- balloons kept Kyuhyun hopeful. They reminded him of his father, and they gave him hope that his father would come back one day. He understood now why Kyuhyun got extremely dejected every time his balloon ran out of helium gas, Sungmin remembered how Kyuhyun’s face would fall every time his balloon sank to the ground-he knew now it was because a balloon running out of helium gas reminded him that his father’s hot air balloon would run out of gas eventually, as well.
Sungmin even remembered going to Kyuhyun’s father’s funeral three years ago. He always thought that Kyuhyun had taken his father’s death rather well, he knew if he himself had lost his father, he’d have been in depression for a really long time-even pink wouldn’t cheer him up-but now he realizes that Kyuhyun hadn’t even known about his father’s death at all.
How could his mother keep the truth away from him? Sungmin thinks to himself angrily, but he knew that he was in no position to judge her right now. He decided that he should visit her to tell her that she had to tell her son the truth soon; he’s been worrying too much anyway.
“Don’t worry too much, Kyu,” Sungmin tells him after keeping quiet for a really long time. “And… you should know that I’ll always be here for you.”
Sungmin didn’t want to promise Kyuhyun anything that might give him false hope, so he had done the best he can do. Fortunately, Kyuhyun had smiled, and Sungmin didn’t let go of his hand till a long time after.
***
Kyuhyun’s mother had been a little shocked to find Sungmin, her son’s best friend, confronting her about the lie that she had told her son a long time ago. However, it is a wakeup call to her; she has been keeping it from him for way too long a time now.
She decides to tell him-she feels more at ease about telling Kyuhyun now, too, because she knew that Kyuhyun had a friend whom she could count on being there for her son.
***
When Kyuhyun finally learns about his father’s death, he cries day and night for three days straight, and refuses to speak to his mother-he locks himself in his room and refuses to eat anything, his mother was at her wits end with him, so she calls over Sungmin for a little help.
“He won’t eat anything, he won’t speak to me, he just stays in his room all day,” she informs Sungmin, wringing her hands in exasperation.
“I’m so worried, and I’ve brought this all upon him. It’s my fault. Oh, Sungmin. I don’t know what I’m going to do with him.”
“It’ll be okay, Mrs. Cho,” Sungmin reassures her with one of those perfect smiles. “I’ll make sure he gets better.”
Kyuhyun’s mother cries with relief as she envelopes Sungmin in a hug-she praises the lord silently in her heart for giving her son such a wonderful friend.
***
Sungmin raps sharply on Kyuhyun’s bedroom door, holding a handful of balloons in one hand.
“I’m not hungry,” he hears Kyuhyun mumble, and Sungmin doesn’t even wait for permission to enter and simply lets himself in.
“Sungmin?” Kyuhyun’s eyes are red and swollen and his room is in a mess. “What are you doing here?”
“Balloon therapy,” Sungmin tells him simply, reaching out for Kyuhyun’s hand, pulling him off his bed and dragging him out of the house. “C’mon, let’s get you all better.”
Kyuhyun frowns, he doesn’t want to feel better-he wants to stay at home and sulk and curse himself for being so stupid, but he never could say no to Sungmin, so he lets himself be dragged out.
As they reach the pavement, Sungmin holds out the assortment of balloons that he has, gesturing for Kyuhyun to take it.
“I don’t want those stupid balloons,” Kyuhyun sniffles.
“Don’t be like that,” Sungmin tells him, and stuffs the 15 balloons that he has painstakingly gotten for Kyuhyun into his hand. “Take it.”
Kyuhyun makes an incoherent noise, but grabs onto the strings anyway. The balloons were of pretty colours, and Kyuhyun lets himself smile a little as he admires them.
Sungmin smiles at Kyuhyun and begins to speak, “You feel miserable, don’t you?”
Kyuhyun wonders where his best friend is going with this, but nods and says, “I’ve just learnt that my father has been dead for 3 years, and I’ve spent those 3 years making an absolute fool of myself thinking that he’s actually flying in a hot air balloon high up in the sky.”
Sungmin gives Kyuhyun a reassuring smile, and then tells him, “You’ve got to listen to whatever I tell you to do after this, okay? It’s going to help you.” Sungmin is intent on becoming a therapist when he grows up, and he had spent hours thinking of his therapy for Kyuhyun-Kyuhyun had better appreciate it.
“Alright,” Kyuhyun murmurs, figuring that he’s got nothing to lose.
“Imagine that you are opening these balloons,” Sungmin says, but Kyuhyun cuts in.
“Won’t they deflate and fly away?”
“Imagine that you are opening these balloons,” Sungmin repeats himself and looks at Kyuhyun sternly, warning him not to interrupt him again. “Are you imagining?”
“Yes,” sighs Kyuhyun, closing his eyes for a better picture.
“Now, fill up these balloons with all your negative feelings: all your worries, your hatred, your anger, your sadness, your pain.”
“Mmmmhmmm,” Kyuhyun begins to feel a little better, but he is unsure why-Sungmin’s therapy didn’t make much sense.
“Now,” Sungmin grins. “Let go.”
Kyuhyun’s eyes open immediately. “What?” He says, a little disorientated, his hands gripping his balloons protectively. “Why?”
“You won’t know until you try,” Sungmin tells him a little tauntingly.
Kyuhyun sighs, and even though it pains him to do so, he begins to let go of the strings of his many balloons-he felt it was such a waste to do so, letting 15 balloons just float up into the sky.
But he feels something else that is spreading inside of him-something that felt like love, relief and happiness. As he watches the balloons rise higher and higher into the air, he feels himself letting go of everything he had filled those balloons with: his anger towards his mother, his anger at his stupidity, and his anger… at his father, for leaving him without saying goodbye.
Kyuhyun sighs happily as the balloons soon escape his sight. He feels good, and he throws himself at Sungmin as the older hugs back happily, happy that his therapy had actually worked.
“Thank you, Minnie,” Kyuhyun hugs his best friend tighter; he doesn’t know how else to express his gratitude.
Sungmin simply smiles-he’s happy that Kyuhyun has finally, finally learnt how to let go-and he’s glad that he had been the one to teach him how to do it.
A/N: Balloons inspired this! (: My tense is still horrible, thank you for reading this anyway<3
G, fluff/angst(?)
Kyuhyun loves balloons too much.
Cho Kyuhyun's father passes away when he is just 10-- and even though she knew it was wrong of her to do so, his mother keeps the news away from her precious son; he had been extremely close to his father-- the news would have broken him. She had always been in awe of how easily both of them clicked, and even though she got jealous sometimes, she didn't mind being the third wheel around them-- she was happy to be part of such a wonderful family that got along with one another so well.
So, in order to cover up for his father's sudden disappearance, she fabricated a ridiculous story-- a story so ridiculous that Kyuhyun would grow up and laugh at how gullible and naive he had been to actually have believed her; it was honestly crazy, to put it simply. She wondered if she did it because she herself couldn't come to terms with her husband's abrupt passing-- she suspected that she lied to her son because it gave her a little bit of hope, too.
She had told him that his father had to leave home because he needed to make a trip around the world, and wouldn't be back for a long time ("Why did he leave without saying goodbye?" Kyuhyun had wailed, and she had been quick enough to come up with another lie: "Well, because he had to travel in a hot air balloon, darling! You know how unpredictable balloons can be... His balloon was especially uncontrollable, and it was always trying to escape-- so he had to leave with it, lest he lost it... I'm sure he's very sorry, dear") because, well, it was a trip around the world. Kyuhyun bought every single word of the story; perhaps because he was afraid to think otherwise, and spent most of his time thinking about how fun it would have been if he had gone with his father-- just both of them together, drifting through the clouds.
***
Kyuhyun didn't stop waiting for his father to return home in his hot air balloon, even after 2 years had passed and he was now 12-- he had even begun a balloon fetish: he loved getting his hands on a helium balloon whenever he could, he loved tying it onto his wrist and watching it float along beside him, and he especially loved hoping that one of his balloons would be as mischievous as his father's had been, and lift him high up into the sky-- where he would find his father.
The boys in his school all thought him weird, and he didn't blame them-- he was mature enough to know that he was an oddity in his boring old school, and he knew that no one would be crazy enough to befriend a kid who had helium balloons for pets.
And then... Lee Sungmin came along.
***
Kyuhyun had prepared himself to be friendless for the rest of his school life, but everything changed when a boy he knew as Sungmin approached him and his balloon during recess one day.
"That's a very pretty balloon you have there-- May I hold it?" Sungmin asks him sweetly, flashing him a brilliantly bright smile.
As Kyuhyun hands over his bright pink balloon to the gleeful boy, he decides that he definitely likes this Sungmin.
***
Sungmin and Kyuhyun grow to be close friends in an amazingly short period of time-- they are talking like best friends by the end of the day Sungmin asks for his balloon, and by the end of one week both of them have become inseparable: they made an odd pair-- with Sungmin's love for all things pink and Kyuhyun's attraction to balloons... but they understood each other, and neither would want the other to be any different; both of them appreciated the other for accepting the crazy traits they both had that no one had once thought to be normal before.
As close as the pair had grown to be, Kyuhyun still didn't dare to open up to Sungmin about his father, who, he assumed, was still lost and stranded up somewhere in the clouds.
Perhaps it was because he was already 12, and had begun to see the absurdity of his mother's story-- he was scared that Sungmin would laugh at him and burst his bubble that was already dangerously close to popping.
But as Kyuhyun watches Sungmin hand over a new balloon to him, he promises himself that he will tell Sungmin his secret one day-- it was the least he could do for someone who accepted him for who he was without questions.
***
It had been a year since Kyuhyun had met Sungmin, and as they are chasing bubbles in Sungmin's backyard one day, Kyuhyun decides that he needs to tell someone about his father soon, before his worry eats him up bit by bit until he loses himself.
It had been 3 long years since his father had left for his voyage around the world-- surely he should have been back by now? He had been wondering why his father hadn't just simply taken a plane, or a ship, or something that was much more reliable than a huge balloon. He knew that it was so hard to control a balloon-- what if his father had just kept floating upwards, and couldn't find a way back down? Kyuhyun worried about his father daily-- 3 years was too long a time for someone to be stuck up in the air, and Kyuhyun knew this.
He had tried asking his mother if she had heard anything at all from his father, but every time he brought it up she couldn't bring herself to look her son in the eye-- he assumes that it must be too painful for his mother to think of, which was why she could never talk about it, but the truth was that she couldn't bring herself to lie to him anymore, and it was guilt that stopped her from looking her son in the eye every time he brought her dead husband up. She wished she knew how she could get around to telling him the truth, but it was hard-- and she knew it just got harder the longer she let him live this lie, but she honestly didn't know how to break it to him that his father was actually dead.
Unknown to her, however, Kyuhyun had begun to lost hope. He wasn’t as naïve as she thought him to be anymore. He had begun to think about all the life threatening situations that his father could have faced-- what if lightning had gotten to his balloon? What if man eating vultures had made him their dinner? What if the sun had burnt him alive? What if, what if, what if-- all those what ifs revolved around his head and he was genuinely afraid-- and who else better to turn to with his problem than his best friend, who had always been there for him?
"Minnie," Kyuhyun began nervously, poking at a bubble with his finger, watching it burst into a million colours before fading into the air. "I'm scared."
Sungmin laughed, running across his yard, through all the bubbles that was surrounding both of them, and hugged his best friend around his waist.
"What of, Kyu?" Sungmin had said teasingly. "They're just bubbles!"
Kyuhyun allowed himself a little chuckle, but sighed and sat himself down onto the soft green (and wet) grass of Sungmin's yard.
"I'm scared my father's not going to come back."
Sungmin must have processed Kyuhyun's expression, because after that he sat down next to Kyuhyun, and held his hand as he told him, "I'm listening."
***
Sungmin remained quiet after Kyuhyun had spilled all of his worries out to him-he didn’t know how he should react to everything Kyuhyun had just told him; he knew that his best friend hadn’t been trying to be funny while telling him about his father in a hot air balloon, and Sungmin feels more than a little sad for Kyuhyun because he knows that his mother hasn’t exactly been very truthful with her son. Sungmin may have been young at that time, but he knew how to tell fantasy and reality apart.
Sungmin understood now why Kyuhyun had his fetish for balloons- balloons kept Kyuhyun hopeful. They reminded him of his father, and they gave him hope that his father would come back one day. He understood now why Kyuhyun got extremely dejected every time his balloon ran out of helium gas, Sungmin remembered how Kyuhyun’s face would fall every time his balloon sank to the ground-he knew now it was because a balloon running out of helium gas reminded him that his father’s hot air balloon would run out of gas eventually, as well.
Sungmin even remembered going to Kyuhyun’s father’s funeral three years ago. He always thought that Kyuhyun had taken his father’s death rather well, he knew if he himself had lost his father, he’d have been in depression for a really long time-even pink wouldn’t cheer him up-but now he realizes that Kyuhyun hadn’t even known about his father’s death at all.
How could his mother keep the truth away from him? Sungmin thinks to himself angrily, but he knew that he was in no position to judge her right now. He decided that he should visit her to tell her that she had to tell her son the truth soon; he’s been worrying too much anyway.
“Don’t worry too much, Kyu,” Sungmin tells him after keeping quiet for a really long time. “And… you should know that I’ll always be here for you.”
Sungmin didn’t want to promise Kyuhyun anything that might give him false hope, so he had done the best he can do. Fortunately, Kyuhyun had smiled, and Sungmin didn’t let go of his hand till a long time after.
***
Kyuhyun’s mother had been a little shocked to find Sungmin, her son’s best friend, confronting her about the lie that she had told her son a long time ago. However, it is a wakeup call to her; she has been keeping it from him for way too long a time now.
She decides to tell him-she feels more at ease about telling Kyuhyun now, too, because she knew that Kyuhyun had a friend whom she could count on being there for her son.
***
When Kyuhyun finally learns about his father’s death, he cries day and night for three days straight, and refuses to speak to his mother-he locks himself in his room and refuses to eat anything, his mother was at her wits end with him, so she calls over Sungmin for a little help.
“He won’t eat anything, he won’t speak to me, he just stays in his room all day,” she informs Sungmin, wringing her hands in exasperation.
“I’m so worried, and I’ve brought this all upon him. It’s my fault. Oh, Sungmin. I don’t know what I’m going to do with him.”
“It’ll be okay, Mrs. Cho,” Sungmin reassures her with one of those perfect smiles. “I’ll make sure he gets better.”
Kyuhyun’s mother cries with relief as she envelopes Sungmin in a hug-she praises the lord silently in her heart for giving her son such a wonderful friend.
***
Sungmin raps sharply on Kyuhyun’s bedroom door, holding a handful of balloons in one hand.
“I’m not hungry,” he hears Kyuhyun mumble, and Sungmin doesn’t even wait for permission to enter and simply lets himself in.
“Sungmin?” Kyuhyun’s eyes are red and swollen and his room is in a mess. “What are you doing here?”
“Balloon therapy,” Sungmin tells him simply, reaching out for Kyuhyun’s hand, pulling him off his bed and dragging him out of the house. “C’mon, let’s get you all better.”
Kyuhyun frowns, he doesn’t want to feel better-he wants to stay at home and sulk and curse himself for being so stupid, but he never could say no to Sungmin, so he lets himself be dragged out.
As they reach the pavement, Sungmin holds out the assortment of balloons that he has, gesturing for Kyuhyun to take it.
“I don’t want those stupid balloons,” Kyuhyun sniffles.
“Don’t be like that,” Sungmin tells him, and stuffs the 15 balloons that he has painstakingly gotten for Kyuhyun into his hand. “Take it.”
Kyuhyun makes an incoherent noise, but grabs onto the strings anyway. The balloons were of pretty colours, and Kyuhyun lets himself smile a little as he admires them.
Sungmin smiles at Kyuhyun and begins to speak, “You feel miserable, don’t you?”
Kyuhyun wonders where his best friend is going with this, but nods and says, “I’ve just learnt that my father has been dead for 3 years, and I’ve spent those 3 years making an absolute fool of myself thinking that he’s actually flying in a hot air balloon high up in the sky.”
Sungmin gives Kyuhyun a reassuring smile, and then tells him, “You’ve got to listen to whatever I tell you to do after this, okay? It’s going to help you.” Sungmin is intent on becoming a therapist when he grows up, and he had spent hours thinking of his therapy for Kyuhyun-Kyuhyun had better appreciate it.
“Alright,” Kyuhyun murmurs, figuring that he’s got nothing to lose.
“Imagine that you are opening these balloons,” Sungmin says, but Kyuhyun cuts in.
“Won’t they deflate and fly away?”
“Imagine that you are opening these balloons,” Sungmin repeats himself and looks at Kyuhyun sternly, warning him not to interrupt him again. “Are you imagining?”
“Yes,” sighs Kyuhyun, closing his eyes for a better picture.
“Now, fill up these balloons with all your negative feelings: all your worries, your hatred, your anger, your sadness, your pain.”
“Mmmmhmmm,” Kyuhyun begins to feel a little better, but he is unsure why-Sungmin’s therapy didn’t make much sense.
“Now,” Sungmin grins. “Let go.”
Kyuhyun’s eyes open immediately. “What?” He says, a little disorientated, his hands gripping his balloons protectively. “Why?”
“You won’t know until you try,” Sungmin tells him a little tauntingly.
Kyuhyun sighs, and even though it pains him to do so, he begins to let go of the strings of his many balloons-he felt it was such a waste to do so, letting 15 balloons just float up into the sky.
But he feels something else that is spreading inside of him-something that felt like love, relief and happiness. As he watches the balloons rise higher and higher into the air, he feels himself letting go of everything he had filled those balloons with: his anger towards his mother, his anger at his stupidity, and his anger… at his father, for leaving him without saying goodbye.
Kyuhyun sighs happily as the balloons soon escape his sight. He feels good, and he throws himself at Sungmin as the older hugs back happily, happy that his therapy had actually worked.
“Thank you, Minnie,” Kyuhyun hugs his best friend tighter; he doesn’t know how else to express his gratitude.
Sungmin simply smiles-he’s happy that Kyuhyun has finally, finally learnt how to let go-and he’s glad that he had been the one to teach him how to do it.
A/N: Balloons inspired this! (: My tense is still horrible, thank you for reading this anyway<3