The Battle of the Post-its
bandfic, various pairings, 1459 words
pg, crack/humour
Eeteuk comes up with a new way for Super Junior to stay bonded.
“I,” Eeteuk begins, his face an expression of absolute glee, “have a preposition.”
Despite the countless groans and protests from his fellow band members (because everybody knew that Eeteuk's prepositions never came to any good), Eeteuk carries on undeterred, thinking that they’d thank him for this someday.
“We,” he proudly announces, “are going to write to each other on post-its.”
There is no response from anyone; the room grows cold and quiet, and no one can really think of anything to say until Donghae speaks up.
“Um,” he says intelligently, “What?”
“Well, think about it,” Eeteuk says, delighted that someone has given him the chance to speak. “We barely see each other anymore, and what better way than to keep in touch by sending post-its to one another?”
Everyone stays silent, before Sungmin brings up another important point.
“Hyung, we have mobile phones for that,” he says as gently as possible, not wanting to burst Eeteuk’s bubble, and everyone around him mumbles in agreement.
“Phones only allow you to keep in contact with one person at a time! But with post-its! Oh, glorious post-its! You can just leave them everywhere for everyone to read! They are just genius, I am so grateful to the person who invented them; they have certainly saved this band.”
His speech is greeted by another cold silence, before a load roar of protests begin.
“Yah! I can’t waste my time writing on little pieces of paper! I have my face to attend to!” Heechul shrieks.
“’I’m getting married,” Shindong states simply.
“We should be preserving nature as idols,” Ryeowook mumbles. “I don’t think the trees out there will appreciate this very much.”
“I need to pray,” Siwon says, and immediately feels bad for using his savior as an excuse to get out of Eeteuk’s ridiculous schemes.
“Starcraft is more important,” Kyuhyun declares.
“Do you know that I have a turtle to take care of? Will you be responsible for its death, when I get too preoccupied with post-its and forget to feed it?” Yesung demands, glaring at their leader.
Eeteuk rolls his eyes, ignores his band mates and picks up a paper bag and dumps the contents onto the table, eliciting gasps from members all around.
“I am not taking no for an answer,” he says firmly as he organizes the huge pile of post-its that has hidden their dining table from sight. “Each one of you will get 8 stacks of post-its each. I have even customized them so that your names are all printed at the top! There are 50 post-its in each stack, and I expect every single one of you to finish your 400 post-its in two months time.”
A roar of protests ensues again, and Eeteuk has to scream at them before they stop, remaining quiet and subdued after their leader’s outburst.
“Hyung,” Eunhyuk whined. “You can’t do this to us! How are we supposed to finish using up 400 post-its all in a span of 2 months? It’s insane! That’s like, 7 post-its per day or something!”
“I don’t care,” Eeteuk chortles, smirking slightly. “We’ve like, what, 10 people left in a band that used to be 13. We need to work on our bonds. So I hope to see our dorm covered in post-its by the end of two months. Also, no one is to remove any post-it once it has been pasted up.” Having said his piece, the leader walks off, leaving his stunned band mates behind.
“That bloody bastard,” Heechul snarls, annoyed. “He’s just doing this because he misses Kangin too much.”
***
On the first day, everyone starts pasting post-its up, because they respect Eeteuk and don’t want to go against his orders, as whacked out as they were.
Heechul decorates the top of Eeteuk’s bedroom door frame with a line of post-its, arranged neatly and all crudely stating, "fuck you park jungsu."
Eunhyuk leaves a post-it on their dining table. "Anyone else thinks this is a horrible idea?"’
And Donghae pastes a couple of post-its onto their house phone. "Call us, Kibum, call us!"
***
By the end of the first week, Heechul has managed to use up almost all of his post-its on just Eeteuk’s door alone; Eeteuk hadn’t been very pleased to see this, but Heechul had merely shrugged and reminded him that no one was to remove any post-it once it has been pasted up, quoting Eeteuk directly.
“It isn’t as bad as I thought it would be, Hannie,” Heechul tells Hankyung over the phone. “I never knew Eeteuk’s nostrils could flare his nostrils that widely till now.”
“Ungh,” Hankyung grunts, and is grateful that he is in China-safe and far away from all the craziness that he used to have to tolerate.
The dining table had also been filled with post-its in reply to Eunhyuk’s comment a few days ago, almost looking like a pretty new colourful table cloth:
Donghae "I miss Kibum"
Eunhyuk "No link"
Donghae "I miss Kibum"
Eunhyuk "Go away ):"
Shindong "This is stupid"
Ryeowook "YES"
Ryeowook "THIS"
Ryeowook "IS"
Ryeowook "A"
Ryeowook "HORRIBLE"
Ryeowook "IDEA"
Yesung "STOP USING ONE POST-IT PER WORD, YOU CHEATER"
Ryeowook "THERE"
Ryeowook "ARE"
Ryeowook "NO"
Ryeowook "RULES"
Ryeowook "I’LL"
Ryeowook "BE"
Yesung "Stop it, STOP IT! It's really annoying"
Ryeowook "DONE"
Ryeowook "WITH"
Ryeowook "MY"
Ryeowook "STACK"
Ryeowook "IN"
Ryeowook "NO"
Ryeowook "TIME"
Yesung "WELL"
Yesung "THEN"
Yesung "SO"
Yesung "WILL"
Yesung "I"
Kyuhyun "Stop spamming the table, you cheaters"
Sungmin "…you cheat all the time"
Kyuhyun "No I don't, it's just called experienced gaming"
Sungmin "-____-"
Heechul "This is so lame. I feel like a mute."
Siwon "I like you better as a mute, hyung."
Siwon "Omg stop screeching into my ear!"
Eeteuk "Well, I think this is a wonderful idea."
Heechul "Go away now unless you'd like your bed sheets to be decorated too."
It was funny, and really weird, talking to each other on small bits of paper even when everyone was in the same room, but behind their annoyed and exasperated expressions, Eeteuk could tell that his members did actually like doing it.
***
In the following weeks that passed, post-its of all sorts began to show up everywhere, which delighted Eeteuk and annoyed their housekeeper.
For example, post-its appeared on the fish tank:
Donghae "Good morning my favourite marine creatures"
Eunhyuk "Fish can't read, Hae"
Donghae "I love you fishies even though you guys can't read!"
Eunhyuk "In case you can't see, I'm currently gaping at you in exasperation"
Sungmin "Tsk, tsk. Always the drama queen, Hyukjae"
Or on the food they had been supposed to eat:
Heechul "What is this supposed to be?"
Siwon "Chicken, hyung"
Shindong "It tastes horrible"
Siwon "Ow, that hurt"
Eeteuk "I think it tastes wonderful"
Siwon "I can't even believe you"
Yesung "Well"
Yesung "then"
Yesung "we"
Yesung "can't"
Yesung "eat"
Yesung "this"
Yesung "anymore"
Heechul "OMFG, I MISS GENG SO MUCH"
And they constantly showed up on the toilet doors:
Shindong "Damn it Hyukjae why do you shower for so long?"
Donghae "He must have done something dirty today"
Sungmin "well, you would know"
Donghae "Yes well Hyukjae is dirty dirty dirty"
Siwon "I beg you to please spare us the details"
And they even appeared on Sungmin:
Kyuhyun "Property of Cho Kyuhyun"
Sungmin "Oh Kyuhyunnie, you bad boy~"
Heechul "Why are both of you flirting on Sungmin's shirt?"
Ryeowook "Get"
Yesung "A"
Ryeowook "Room"
Yesung "Seriously"
Kyuhyun "Stop spamming his shirt while I'm kissing him!!!!!"
***
So when Kangin comes to visit the dorm before he leaves for the army, he is more than a little shocked to find the place covered with post-its. It hurt his eyes to look at the myriad of colours.
Kangin looks around in amazement. His old dorm was a mess! Had they been missing him this much?
"Youngwoon!" Kangin doesn't see Eeteuk coming and is taken aback as the older man gives him a flying hug.
The other members begin to stream into the living room, and seem to be barely aware of all the post-its that are flying around them.
"What's with this?" Kangin cries, gesturing everywhere, exasperated. He couldn't leave for the army now if his own band members can't take care of themselves! "Are you guys redecorating the place or something? The colours are making my eyes hurt. Look, ow. I can still see it even when I close my eyes. It's so gawdy! What's wrong with you guys?"
"It was Jungsu hyung's idea," Kyuhyun points out warily. "You'd think he'd have a better sense of style than this."
Kangin's expression softens, and, to everyone's utter shock and dismay, beams at Eeteuk instead.
"Well then," he said, looking straight into Eeteuk's eyes. "I think it looks gorgeous."
Everyone groans as Eeteuk blushes, and leave the room quickly before they witness anything too life scarring.
A/N: I am so sorry for this fail!crack, omg. Do you guys know how to become funnier? I hope to improve on my humour next time /bricked
pg, crack/humour
Eeteuk comes up with a new way for Super Junior to stay bonded.
“I,” Eeteuk begins, his face an expression of absolute glee, “have a preposition.”
Despite the countless groans and protests from his fellow band members (because everybody knew that Eeteuk's prepositions never came to any good), Eeteuk carries on undeterred, thinking that they’d thank him for this someday.
“We,” he proudly announces, “are going to write to each other on post-its.”
There is no response from anyone; the room grows cold and quiet, and no one can really think of anything to say until Donghae speaks up.
“Um,” he says intelligently, “What?”
“Well, think about it,” Eeteuk says, delighted that someone has given him the chance to speak. “We barely see each other anymore, and what better way than to keep in touch by sending post-its to one another?”
Everyone stays silent, before Sungmin brings up another important point.
“Hyung, we have mobile phones for that,” he says as gently as possible, not wanting to burst Eeteuk’s bubble, and everyone around him mumbles in agreement.
“Phones only allow you to keep in contact with one person at a time! But with post-its! Oh, glorious post-its! You can just leave them everywhere for everyone to read! They are just genius, I am so grateful to the person who invented them; they have certainly saved this band.”
His speech is greeted by another cold silence, before a load roar of protests begin.
“Yah! I can’t waste my time writing on little pieces of paper! I have my face to attend to!” Heechul shrieks.
“’I’m getting married,” Shindong states simply.
“We should be preserving nature as idols,” Ryeowook mumbles. “I don’t think the trees out there will appreciate this very much.”
“I need to pray,” Siwon says, and immediately feels bad for using his savior as an excuse to get out of Eeteuk’s ridiculous schemes.
“Starcraft is more important,” Kyuhyun declares.
“Do you know that I have a turtle to take care of? Will you be responsible for its death, when I get too preoccupied with post-its and forget to feed it?” Yesung demands, glaring at their leader.
Eeteuk rolls his eyes, ignores his band mates and picks up a paper bag and dumps the contents onto the table, eliciting gasps from members all around.
“I am not taking no for an answer,” he says firmly as he organizes the huge pile of post-its that has hidden their dining table from sight. “Each one of you will get 8 stacks of post-its each. I have even customized them so that your names are all printed at the top! There are 50 post-its in each stack, and I expect every single one of you to finish your 400 post-its in two months time.”
A roar of protests ensues again, and Eeteuk has to scream at them before they stop, remaining quiet and subdued after their leader’s outburst.
“Hyung,” Eunhyuk whined. “You can’t do this to us! How are we supposed to finish using up 400 post-its all in a span of 2 months? It’s insane! That’s like, 7 post-its per day or something!”
“I don’t care,” Eeteuk chortles, smirking slightly. “We’ve like, what, 10 people left in a band that used to be 13. We need to work on our bonds. So I hope to see our dorm covered in post-its by the end of two months. Also, no one is to remove any post-it once it has been pasted up.” Having said his piece, the leader walks off, leaving his stunned band mates behind.
“That bloody bastard,” Heechul snarls, annoyed. “He’s just doing this because he misses Kangin too much.”
***
On the first day, everyone starts pasting post-its up, because they respect Eeteuk and don’t want to go against his orders, as whacked out as they were.
Heechul decorates the top of Eeteuk’s bedroom door frame with a line of post-its, arranged neatly and all crudely stating, "fuck you park jungsu."
Eunhyuk leaves a post-it on their dining table. "Anyone else thinks this is a horrible idea?"’
And Donghae pastes a couple of post-its onto their house phone. "Call us, Kibum, call us!"
***
By the end of the first week, Heechul has managed to use up almost all of his post-its on just Eeteuk’s door alone; Eeteuk hadn’t been very pleased to see this, but Heechul had merely shrugged and reminded him that no one was to remove any post-it once it has been pasted up, quoting Eeteuk directly.
“It isn’t as bad as I thought it would be, Hannie,” Heechul tells Hankyung over the phone. “I never knew Eeteuk’s nostrils could flare his nostrils that widely till now.”
“Ungh,” Hankyung grunts, and is grateful that he is in China-safe and far away from all the craziness that he used to have to tolerate.
The dining table had also been filled with post-its in reply to Eunhyuk’s comment a few days ago, almost looking like a pretty new colourful table cloth:
Donghae "I miss Kibum"
Eunhyuk "No link"
Donghae "I miss Kibum"
Eunhyuk "Go away ):"
Shindong "This is stupid"
Ryeowook "YES"
Ryeowook "THIS"
Ryeowook "IS"
Ryeowook "A"
Ryeowook "HORRIBLE"
Ryeowook "IDEA"
Yesung "STOP USING ONE POST-IT PER WORD, YOU CHEATER"
Ryeowook "THERE"
Ryeowook "ARE"
Ryeowook "NO"
Ryeowook "RULES"
Ryeowook "I’LL"
Ryeowook "BE"
Yesung "Stop it, STOP IT! It's really annoying"
Ryeowook "DONE"
Ryeowook "WITH"
Ryeowook "MY"
Ryeowook "STACK"
Ryeowook "IN"
Ryeowook "NO"
Ryeowook "TIME"
Yesung "WELL"
Yesung "THEN"
Yesung "SO"
Yesung "WILL"
Yesung "I"
Kyuhyun "Stop spamming the table, you cheaters"
Sungmin "…you cheat all the time"
Kyuhyun "No I don't, it's just called experienced gaming"
Sungmin "-____-"
Heechul "This is so lame. I feel like a mute."
Siwon "I like you better as a mute, hyung."
Siwon "Omg stop screeching into my ear!"
Eeteuk "Well, I think this is a wonderful idea."
Heechul "Go away now unless you'd like your bed sheets to be decorated too."
It was funny, and really weird, talking to each other on small bits of paper even when everyone was in the same room, but behind their annoyed and exasperated expressions, Eeteuk could tell that his members did actually like doing it.
***
In the following weeks that passed, post-its of all sorts began to show up everywhere, which delighted Eeteuk and annoyed their housekeeper.
For example, post-its appeared on the fish tank:
Donghae "Good morning my favourite marine creatures"
Eunhyuk "Fish can't read, Hae"
Donghae "I love you fishies even though you guys can't read!"
Eunhyuk "In case you can't see, I'm currently gaping at you in exasperation"
Sungmin "Tsk, tsk. Always the drama queen, Hyukjae"
Or on the food they had been supposed to eat:
Heechul "What is this supposed to be?"
Siwon "Chicken, hyung"
Shindong "It tastes horrible"
Siwon "Ow, that hurt"
Eeteuk "I think it tastes wonderful"
Siwon "I can't even believe you"
Yesung "Well"
Yesung "then"
Yesung "we"
Yesung "can't"
Yesung "eat"
Yesung "this"
Yesung "anymore"
Heechul "OMFG, I MISS GENG SO MUCH"
And they constantly showed up on the toilet doors:
Shindong "Damn it Hyukjae why do you shower for so long?"
Donghae "He must have done something dirty today"
Sungmin "well, you would know"
Donghae "Yes well Hyukjae is dirty dirty dirty"
Siwon "I beg you to please spare us the details"
And they even appeared on Sungmin:
Kyuhyun "Property of Cho Kyuhyun"
Sungmin "Oh Kyuhyunnie, you bad boy~"
Heechul "Why are both of you flirting on Sungmin's shirt?"
Ryeowook "Get"
Yesung "A"
Ryeowook "Room"
Yesung "Seriously"
Kyuhyun "Stop spamming his shirt while I'm kissing him!!!!!"
***
So when Kangin comes to visit the dorm before he leaves for the army, he is more than a little shocked to find the place covered with post-its. It hurt his eyes to look at the myriad of colours.
Kangin looks around in amazement. His old dorm was a mess! Had they been missing him this much?
"Youngwoon!" Kangin doesn't see Eeteuk coming and is taken aback as the older man gives him a flying hug.
The other members begin to stream into the living room, and seem to be barely aware of all the post-its that are flying around them.
"What's with this?" Kangin cries, gesturing everywhere, exasperated. He couldn't leave for the army now if his own band members can't take care of themselves! "Are you guys redecorating the place or something? The colours are making my eyes hurt. Look, ow. I can still see it even when I close my eyes. It's so gawdy! What's wrong with you guys?"
"It was Jungsu hyung's idea," Kyuhyun points out warily. "You'd think he'd have a better sense of style than this."
Kangin's expression softens, and, to everyone's utter shock and dismay, beams at Eeteuk instead.
"Well then," he said, looking straight into Eeteuk's eyes. "I think it looks gorgeous."
Everyone groans as Eeteuk blushes, and leave the room quickly before they witness anything too life scarring.
A/N: I am so sorry for this fail!crack, omg. Do you guys know how to become funnier? I hope to improve on my humour next time /bricked