Applications, Rejections, and the Nonsense In Between
shihanchul, 1945 words
pg, crack/humour
Part of Nerds of A Feather AU. Heechul forces Siwon and Hankyung to try out joining the popular crew, aka SHINee, with him.
A/N: In case you guys haven't read the previous parts, Kibum has connections to Jonghyun & Co. (Nerds of A Feather), Ryeowook has had major popularity issues (I'll Grab Her Hair, You Grab the Gun), and Heechul is pretty much crazy everywhere.
NOTICE
JONGHYUN AND CO. ARE LOOKING FOR NEW MEMBERS TO RECRUIT INTO THEIR CLIQUE. Simply take an application from below, fill it up, and slide it into Jonghyun’s locker (Number #403, but it’s not like you guys don’t already know), and we’ll call you back for an interview if we think you guys worthy!
***
Heechul sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (08.02)
OMFG DID YOU SEE THE NOTICEBOARD TODAY. OMFG. OMFG. OMFG. OUR CHANCE HAS FINALLY COME, YOU GUYS. /EGGCITED
Hankyung sent to Heechul: (08.03)
No, I am not filling up some stupid form to join some stupid group! They are just a bunch of pimps Heechul. I am perfectly satisfied with being a nerd, thank you very much.
Siwon sent to Heechul: (08.03)
PHI 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but
in humility consider others better than yourselves.
Heechul sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (08.05)
Alright then, I’ll just drop by the notice board during lunch later on and collect the forms for all of us :D OMG, aren’t you guys excited? We’d qualify for sure!
Hankyung sent to Siwon: (08.06)
He’s impossible, isn’t he?
Siwon sent to Hankyung: (08.07)
HE IGNORED MY BIBLE VERSE!!!! D:
***
APPLICATION TO JOIN JONGHYUN & CO.
1. What is your name?
Kim Heechul. Yes, I know my name is awesome.
2. What’s the greatest thing about Jonghyun and co.?
I’d go gay for you guys.
3. Why do you think we should recruit you?
People already go gay for me, duh.
4. Name some of your strengths.
I’m pretty, charismatic, hot, sexy, funny… okay, you know what, I’ll just attach a list of my strengths behind this application arranged in alphabetical order for you guys, this line is way too short to list all of them out.
5. Name some of your weaknesses.
Um, hello, none?
***
APPLICATION TO JOIN JONGHYUN & CO.
1. What is your name?
Hankyung.
2. What’s the greatest thing about Jonghyun and co.?
You guys look Chinese. I love Chinese people.
3. Why do you think we should recruit you?
Every clique needs a male lead dancer (Taemin looks like a girl).
4. Name some of your strengths.
My body’s a liquid. I flow to music naturally.
5. Name some of your weaknesses.
I am in love with Kim Heechul.
***
APPLICATION TO JOIN JONGHYUN & CO.
1. What is your name?
Choi Siwon.
2. What’s the greatest thing about Jonghyun and co.?
Everything!
3. Why do you think we should recruit you?
Every clique needs a bible nerd to be complete.
4. Name some of your strengths.
I can recite every single line of the bible.
5. Name some of your weaknesses.
I blurt out bible verses randomly, but girls find this attractive.
***
Heechul sent to Eeteuk, Yesung, Kangin, Shindong, Sungmin, Eunhyuk, Donghae, Ryeowook, Kibum, Kyuhyun, Zhou Mi, Henry: (13.12)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GOODBYE SUCKERS I’M TAKING SIWON AND HANKYUNG AND WE’RE LEAVING YOU NERDS FOR GOOD! HELLO POPULARITY
Henry sent to Ryeowook: (13.13)
take deep breaths, wook, don’t freak out
Yesung sent to Ryeowook: (13.13)
DON’T REACT TO HEECHUL, HE’S JUST AN IDIOT
Yesung sent to Henry: (13.14)
Can you keep away all sharp objects from Wook? He’s already in a fragile state of mind, Heechul’s message may trigger a breakdown.
Henry sent to Yesung: (13.14)
I’ve already confiscated his rulers, scissors, plus penknives. I’m a bit worried that he has a nail cutter on him though-can he hurt himself with that?
Yesung sent to Henry: (13.15)
I think he’ll be safe. If he chooses to attack Heechul though, I can’t really care.
Eeteuk sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (13.15)
You guys are actually leaving?
Hankyung sent to Eeteuk: (13.16)
I swear we had nothing to do with it. He filled the forms up all by himself.
Siwon sent to Eeteuk: (13.18)
Don’t worry hyung; we won’t be going anywhere
Heechul sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (13.20)
WE’RE FINALLY LEAVING THEM, BITCHES
Hankyung sent to Siwon: (13.21)
I fear for our lives :/
Siwon sent to Hankyung: (13.23)
It’s okay, just keep hopeful. God will protect us.
***
NOTICE
Thank you to all those who sent in your applications-we had a hard time narrowing down the list of applicants, but we managed to do so in the end! We’re really sorry to those who didn’t make it through, and hope that there won’t be any hard feelings. Please retrieve your replies from the box below, and follow the instructions accordingly. Thank you all once again, we really appreciated the 5,432 applications we received.
***
Zhou Mi sent to Sungmin: (09.00)
5,432 applicants, so what? god, they are like, such show offs.
Sungmin sent to Zhou Mi: (09.04)
I totally know right. I mean, like, so they’re popular. We don’t, like, care.
Kyuhyun sent to Sungmin, Zhou Mi: (09.06)
I sense bimbo speak. Why am I not being included?
Sungmin sent to Kyuhyun: (09.07)
oh god, get a life, kyuhyun. I can see you reading this from behind my shoulder.
Kyuhyun sent to Sungmin: (09.08)
Spoiler! D:
Heechul sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (09.08)
Guys, this is it. I’ve got their replies in my hands. This is it. This is our big break. Once we get called back for their interviews, it’ll be smooth sailing.
Heechul sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (09.10)
We made it, I’m sure of it. I feel the tears, I feel the tears coming. We’ve been kept in the dark for too long-now it’s our turn in the spot light. It’s our turn to break free.
Heechul sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (09.11)
Our time is here. Our time is now… It’s time for our era. It’s time for us. IT’S TIME FOR THE SHIHANCHUL GENERATION TO TAKE OVER!
Hankyung sent to Siwon: (09.12)
omfg, honestly, he makes it sound like we won the freaking oscar’s or smth
Siwon sent to Hankyung: (09.13)
and what’s with the repetitive speech? he’s mentioned “time” like four times
Heechul sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (09.14)
It’s time for me to take a look at our acceptance letters. Here we go… it’s time.
Siwon sent to Hankyung: (09.14)
SIX TIMES HE USED THAT WORD
Heechul sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (09.15)
This is nerve-wracking. As I peel open Siwon’s envelope, deep down there’s a small bit of me doubting his acceptance. Let’s keep hopeful together.
Siwon sent to Heechul: (09.17)
oh, the horror, hyung!
Hankyung sent to Siwon: (09.18)
we’ve got to hand it to him though, i have no idea how he is able to create this much drama for himself all during history lesson
Heechul sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (09.18)
With shaking hands I pull out the letter…
Siwon sent to Hankyung: (09.19)
why does he act like this? it’s creepy.
Heechul sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (09.20)
AND HE’S IN! Siwon, you’re in, buddy! I, I feel the tears coming already-but no, I’ve got to stay strong. We still have Hankyung’s letter left. Keep your fingers crossed, folks.
Siwon sent to Hankyung: (09.21)
he did not just call me buddy
Hankyung sent to Siwon: (09.22)
omg. he addressed us as folks.
Heechul sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (09.24)
My heart is hammering against my ribcage as I now pick up Hankyung’s letter. Trembling, I tear it open slowly…
Hankyung sent to Heechul: (09.25)
JFC go write a drama serial already
Hankyung sent to Siwon: (09.26)
OMG IT’S NOT LIKE I CARE IF I GET IN OR NOT
Siwon sent to Hankyung: (09.27)
take deep breaths, hyung, deep breaths.
Heechul sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (09.28)
AND HANKYUNG’S IN TOO! THIS CALLS FOR CHAMPAGNE, FOLKS, GO GET A FEW BOTTLES WHILE I READ MY OWN ACCEPTANCE LETTER AND CRY TEARS OF JOY-I JUST KNEW WE’D GET THROUGH THIS TOGETHER, SHIHANCHUL, FRIENDS FOREVER!
Hankyung sent to Siwon: (09.29)
his inflated ego amuses me
Siwon sent to Hankyung: (09.30)
IKR, there’s honestly no one like Kim Heechul
Heechul sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (09.31)
and as I tear my envelope up, I prepare for the
Heechul sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (09.31)
WHAT
Heechul sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (09.31)
THE
Heechul sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (09.31)
FUCK
Heechul sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (09.31)
IS
Heechul sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (09.31)
THIS
Heechul sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (09.31)
OMFG.
Heechul sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (09.31)
THEY. DID. NOT.
Siwon sent to Hankyung: (09.32)
DID WHAT I THINK JUST HAPPEN, HAPPEN?
Hankyung sent to Siwon: (09.33)
WHETHER OR NOT IT HAPPENED, I’M LMAO ALREADY
***
RE: APPLICATION TO JOIN JONGHYUN & CO.
Dear Choi Siwon,
We thank you sincerely for your application. Looking through the rest of the applications, we have decided that you fit us pretty well and are willing to give you a try. However, we’d like to interact with you face to face first before we make our final decision. Please come to the auditorium this Thursday at 3pm for your interview.
Yours sincerely,
Jonghyun & Co.
***
RE: APPLICATION TO JOIN JONGHYUN & CO.
Dear Hankyung,
We thank you sincerely for your application. Looking through the rest of the applications, we have decided that you fit us pretty well and are willing to give you a try. However, we’d like to interact with you face to face first before we make our final decision. Please come to the auditorium this Thursday at 3pm for your interview.
Yours sincerely,
Jonghyun & Co.
***
RE: APPLICATION TO JOIN JONGHYUN & CO.
Dear Kim Heechul,
We thank you sincerely for your application. However, we are terribly sorry to inform you that you do not fit our criteria for a new member. Thank you for your time; and we hope there will not be any hard feelings.
Yours sincerely,
Jonghyun & Co.
***
Hankyung sent to Eeteuk, Yesung, Kangin, Shindong, Sungmin, Eunhyuk, Donghae, Ryeowook, Kibum, Kyuhyun, Zhou Mi, Henry: (09.50)
OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD HAHAHAHAHAHA HEECHUL GOT REJECTED HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Kyuhyun sent to Heechul: (09.51)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU SUCK HYUNG
Shindong sent to Heechul: (09.51)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AND SOMEONE WAS SO SURE ABOUT LEAVING US
Ryeowook sent to Heechul: (09.51)
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA MUAHAHAHAHAHAH IN YOUR FACE MUAHAHAHAHA
Eeteuk sent to Heechul: (09.51)
OMG. HAHAHAHAHHA SERVES YOU RIGHT OMG HAHAHAHAHA
Heechul sent to Hankyung: (09.52)
what kind of friend are you?
Hankyung sent toHeechul: (09.53)
ONLY THE BEST! ILU :D
***
Heechul sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (18.04)
I asked Kibum to ask them why they rejected me! HAHAHAHAHA
Hankyung: (18.05)
wow, you seem happy. SO WHAT DID THEY SAY
Heechul sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (18.06)
OMFG, THEY SAID THAT THEY REJECTED ME BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE BEEN TOO PRETTY FOR THEM, AND WOULD’VE OUTSHONE ALL OF THEM. DAMN RIGHT THAT’S TRUE
Siwon sent to Heechul: (18.08)
Awww, hyung! I’m so happy for you! Congrats!
Hankyung sent to Heechul: (18.10)
AWWWWW WELL DON’T YOU FEEL BETTER NOW <3
Hankyung sent to Kibum: (18.11)
thank you so much for feeding him those lies. I WAS PRETTY SURE I WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO TAKE ANOTHER MOMENT OF HIS SULKING.
Siwon sent to Kibum: (18.11)
may god bless you forever
Kibum sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (18.12)
lol it’s no problem guys, glad I could help XD
Heechul sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (18.14)
so, um… are you guys gonna go for that interview?
Hankyung sent to Heechul: (18.15)
And leave you behind? LOL, of course not
Siwon sent to Heechul: (18.15)
we never wanted to in the first place ;)
Heechul sent to Hankyung, Siwon: (18.16)
I LOVE YOU, MY BESTIES
Heechul sent to Kibum: (18.17)
HEY, YOU DON’T NEED TO TELL JONGHYUN TO REJECT HANKYUNG AND SIWON ALREADY BECAUSE THEY AREN’T GOING FOR THAT INTERVIEW AT ALL
Kibum sent to Heechul: (18.18)
okay, hyung, okay ;)
A/N: HAHAHA TALK ABOUT BEING ON HIATUS! But I decided to finish this because it was just lying around so... I hoped you guys liked this :D thank you for reading ♥ i shall be gone for a while after this ;)